Was I really considering giving up on my mission? I'd essentially rescind my role as a detective, always working for the good of the people, due to my own selfishness. It just… it just didn't seem right.

I know, I know. Izuru told me that there's more to life than rational thinking. So that made me feel a little better… I guess…

But the main problem was that, if I just gave up, I'd be no better than him.

I'd be no better than my father, Jin Kirigiri.

He used to be a detective, as my whole family was. It was tradition. We used to go on missions together. I remember him teaching me everything I know… But then he gave all that up to be the headmaster for Hope's Peak Academy, for some reason or other. He very abruptly told me he was leaving, avoiding any and all questions I posed to him. I tried to follow him, but his car was too fast. And just like that, he was gone. I was young, and I didn't know what to do at that point. He'd been my entire life. And he just… he just left.

Come to think of it, that was actually the last time I cried. Well, before yesterday.

Eventually, I realized the only real thing to do was to do what Makoto would say, to keep on moving forward. I just kept on doing what I knew how to do, because it was the only thing I knew how to do. To be a detective.

And because of my father, I made my prominence known to the world, so I could enter into the prestigious Hope's Peak Academy. I finally got to see him again… But it was different this time. I hated him for leaving me. I despised him. It wasn't really in my nature to do it, but, to be fair, it wasn't in his nature to just leave me, helpless, stunned, alone…

He was the one who asked me to catch Izuru Kamukura the first time. I only took that case because he explicitly hired me, from a business standpoint, not because I wanted to help him. Perhaps I wanted to show him that I was better than him, to show him what a Kirigiri could do. A real Kirigiri. However, he cut off my investigation and decided to seal the school so that Despair couldn't find its way in.

But Despair found its way in anyways. And now he's dead.

Honestly, there wasn't much he could have done to stop Despair from seeping through. Despair is very infective, as I've surely learned. After all, Despair already found its way into my heart, in the form of Izuru Kamukura.

This was why I felt so… so uneasy about just giving in. I didn't want to turn out like him. Like my father. I worked my whole life so far towards the goal of not ending up like Jin Kirigiri, and to just… throw that away...

I felt really tired, for some reason, after eating. So I went to bed early that night. I needed to make a phone call tomorrow, anyways…

Day 4

I woke up the next day in a similar state. As I performed my morning activities, I thought about what to say to Makoto. I didn't think I was ready to tell him everything, but that wouldn't stop me from getting what I wanted.

I confidently dialed my friend's number, and waited impatiently for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Makoto."

"Oh, Kyoko. How are you?"

I lied again "Fine… "

"Good, me too. The Hope Restoration Program is gonna be finished within three days. Three days, Kyoko! Imagine what effect it'll have on-"

I interrupted him. I didn't have time for this. "Makoto… Sorry for interrupting, but there's something else I need to ask you about."

"Huh? What's that?"

"About Sayaka."

"Sayaka? Why?"

"I'll explain later. But, for now, please, answer my questions."

"Ok, what do you want to know?"

"Well… Back in Hope's Peak, when you first met Sayaka, how did you feel about her?"

"Oh, uhhh…"

Impatience flowed through me "Hm?"

"Well, when I first saw her, I thought she was the prettiest girl in middle school. And at Hope's Peak, too. But I knew she was out of my league, though… But then… we started talking, and once I realized that she actually noticed me back in middle school… that's when it really hit.

I loved her, Kyoko. I just… I just felt so much better when she was around. Her laugh always made me smile. She was always so… optimistic… and concerned… We both promised each other we'd make it out together…"

I felt like a fool. Why'd I force him to talk about this? "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to talk about this."

"No… It's better this way… I'll never get over it otherwise…"

Hm, he does have a point... Maybe I could talk to him about Izuru...

"So… what you're saying is… you loved Sayaka, and she loved you, as far as you could tell…"

"Yeah… She even asked me if I had a girlfriend, and if I had anyone in mind…"

Wow. That's… really forward. But my real question was… was it all an act? I know she tried to frame him, but… how much of that was circumstance?

"Do you think she was sincere about her feelings?"

"Huh?"

"Keep in mind she did try to frame you so she could escape Hope's Peak. Do you think she truly loved you?"

"Absolutely."

Interesting… So, certain…

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well… I think there's a point where you can't make those feelings up. Where it would be so fake that it'd be revealing. I could sense that she felt the same way about me that I did about her, before she fell for Monokuma's taunts."

Oh, yeah… She did seem to go somewhat mad…

But that was besides the point. Could Izuru really have made up his feelings for me? It's hard to believe that such a possibility exists, but it had to be considered. I very heavily felt otherwise, though…

"So only after Monokuma's taunts did she act suspicious…"

"Yeah… Seeing her bandmates dead in that video really must have filled her with, uhh-"

I finished his sentence with impatience. "Despair…"

Remembering the events at Hope's Peak made me hate Monokuma and Junko even more than I already did, if that was even possible…

"Makoto, one more question."

"Sure."

There was one thing left to ask… It wasn't really too relevant to the situation currently, but I might as well get it out of the way.

"When you found her dead… How did you feel?"

"Uh, I felt horrible. You could probably tell from looking at me, though…"

"Not everyone fully expresses their feelings."

"Yeah, well… I felt so empty. Almost like there wasn't a reason to live anymore, now that she was gone…"

Was that really how it felt? It was bad the other day, but this surely sounded worse. Would that happen to me, though, if I gave Izuru to the Foundation? But it happened to Makoto, and he's fine now. Right?

I continued to weigh the choices, as Makoto interrupted my thoughts.

"By the way, thanks for helping me back then. I don't know what I would have done without your help."

And thanks for helping me now. "You're welcome. Thank you for being cooperative. I understand it was really hard on you..."

"Yeah… But that's life. You just gotta keep moving forward. I'll be with Sayaka eventually, but there's work to be done before then."

Ah, typical Makoto…

"It's about Izuru."

I just blurted it out, despite my nervousness. He deserved to know, after what he told me…

"Huh? You like Izuru?"

"Taking from what you told me, it's a lot more than 'like'…"

Makoto chuckled, "Now it makes sense… I didn't think you'd tell me."

"I didn't think I would, either."

Makoto paused for a second, then responded. "I'm sure you didn't want this."

The initial wave of nervousness and uneasiness passed, so I unleashed more of my emotions. "No, I didn't. It's… It's taking me over… I don't know what to do…"

"Kyoko. Sometimes, things just happen. We can't let them conquer us. Just, do what you feel is best. Don't worry about anything else. And keep on moving forward, with Hope in the future."

Yeah… That's what I wanted. Some affirmation that someone else understood me. Some sort of… justification in what I was doing…

"Thanks."

"No problem, Kyoko... I should get back to work. Good luck with Izuru."

"Thanks."

I hung up the phone.

Wait… Did he just say 'Good luck with Izuru'?

Does he even want me to catch the guy?

But seriously, though… Sayaka used her love as a weapon against Makoto. How did I know Izuru wasn't going to do the same against me?

If I truly gave in, would he… would he kill me?

Well, to be honest, he had way too many chances to kill me. Not to mention he literally could have shot me at the diner the other night if he really wanted to…

But still, you never know with someone like Izuru.

Well, I guess the secret at this point was to not truly give in. Maybe I would just decide on Izuru…

But honestly, as I was talking to Makoto, I realized I've been making a huge mistake.

I've been making a huge mistake in thinking that I needed to make a decision now.

Because if I chose Izuru, then I'd go find him and express my love for him.

And if I chose the Foundation, I'd still need to capture Izuru. Which would involve getting close enough to Izuru that he wouldn't expect me to catch him. Basically, he needed to treat me like a friend, and not an enemy. Which was basically the same as the first option.

So in retrospect, there wasn't a decision to be made at all. Just like Hina might say...

'When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.'

Except that quote wasn't from some famous athlete…Whatever...

But, back to the matter at hand, I needed to express my true feelings in order for Izuru to fully accept me, in either case.

It didn't sound as hard as it was. It sounded easy, after my conversation with Makoto. But… still… could I do it?

I got up and walked over to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I stared into my deep purple eyes, attempting to intimidate myself into obeying what my mind was saying.

I was going to say it.

"I love you."

There. I did it. That was easy…

Wait… Maybe I was just saying that to myself…

I ran over to my backpack and grabbed the case file for Izuru Kamukura. I flipped open the envelope to the first page. Where Izuru Kamukura's picture was.

Hm… He seemed so… unemotional. His lips were straight across his face. That never happened when he was around me. And his eyes… The picture didn't do them nearly enough justice.

I concentrated on the picture, trying to bring it to life as best I could. And then…

"I…"

"I love you."

No… Why wasn't that difficult? Hm… Maybe I needed…

No. there's no other way. The only real way I'd get practice is by talking to Izuru himself…

But then it wouldn't be practice.

Whatever.

I put on my shoes and walked out the door. The sky was clear; very much like the first day I found Izuru. The sun was hot on my back as I stood tall, ready to meet him. But where...

Because of the fact that Izuru just shows up, out of nowhere, without warning, there was no telling when he'd show up next. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I should be explicitly looking for him, because whenever I did that, it didn't work. I can't even begin to rationalize that mind of his...

Hm… I guess I'd just put myself in the most public place so Izuru has the highest chance of seeing me…

Which was the square.

With newfound courage, I walked confidently towards the center of the city.