Sorry this has took me a while, I have been hardcore revising and also had a very important job interview today which I think I have smashed but I won't know until I get an email from them which is horrible :D But enough about me, on with the chapter.

So this chapter is kinda touchy on certain levels and was difficult for me to get down into words without breaching certain boundaries so I hope you all enjoy.

I have many oneshot/twoshot idea's floating around my dark and twisty mind so stay tuned for random stories and such to be thrown in the mix while this is still in progress. Loving and leaving you all, don't forget to review!

Derek saw Cristina coming down the hall and ushered Addison outside, the pair not bothering to close Meredith's door over in case she woke up and needed something.

"How is she doing?" Cristina asked, Derek putting his hand's in his pocket as they stood in a group outside the door.

"She is still sleeping, I guess she needs it. She has been worn down a lot today" Addison stated, Cristina nodding in response. They both turned their gaze to Derek who was staring at the ground, his mind obviously at other places.

"Derek you can't avoid the subject forever. I told Cristina what you told me so just get your thoughts out already" He looked up, feeling slightly ashamed that he accused his girlfriend of such things and was clearly not in the best state of mind.

"She had an incident this morning in the bath" He said, Cristina frowning.

"What do you mean 'incident'?"

"I was shouting her from the bedroom and I walked into the bathroom and she had her head under the water. I just thought she was washing her hair but she had her head under for a long time, I had to pick her head out the water to stop her and she was gasping for air, like she had been under for a while. I thought it was stupid but then this happened. She is a good swimmer, and she wasn't far from the bay at all" Cristina crossed her arms over her chest in thought, Addison's facade faltering slightly. Maybe she did do this...

"No I'm sorry but I think I would know if my best friend was suicidal! She wouldn't just throw her life away like this"

"We all did something though" Addison stated, Derek looking at her in question.

"What do you mean?"

"Well think about it. George went off and got married and moved out. Izzie is still saw from Denny. Cristina you told me in the bar you have been avoiding her and Derek, you told me you noticed and never did anything about it. I have clocked a lot more hours this week and haven't spoken to her for more than a few minutes, and that was only after her mom kicked her out and then this happened. What if we are the reason?"

"Wait go back, why did her mom kick her out?" Cristina asked confused, Addison leaning against the door frame in thought.

"A few days ago, I was walking back from the cafeteria to do my post-op rounds and Meredith was sitting on the floor outside her moms room. She told me that her mom was disappointed in her, that she called her ordinary and said that she was ashamed to wake up to what Meredith had after these 5 years. I didn't think nothing of it because at first she never seemed bothered, I mean, it's her mom but now that I look at it. It can push someone can't it?"

"Wait she told me. She told me and she said- she said she didn't need rescuing"

"Wait what?! Why are you only just mentioning these things to me?" Cristina exclaimed in annoyance, Meredith having clearly showed signs of being off and nobody even bothered to mention it to her.

"When I got her out of the bath this morning she told me that she didn't need rescuing. I told her it was the happily ever after bit and she blew me off and sent me to work. Then- then the ferry thing happened and then this. What if she was trying to tell me it and I ignored it and went to work. What if this morning was a sign and I ignored it" Their voices were getting incredibly loud, Addison shushing them and moving them back slightly but there was no point. Meredith was already awake and listening, listening into what her friends were clearly deciding about her life. Was she really that weak and vulnerable? She felt her throat contract with emotion and reached for the water, trying not to cry out in pain at the pulling sensation in her stomach. She groaned when the cup tumbled over, catching the attention of the three concerned people outside the room. Derek ran to her side, the woman falling back into her pillowed annoyed.

"How long have you been awake for?" Derek asked, handing her the cup and watching as she took a sip and held it back out for him to take.

"Only just. I'm going back to sleep" She turned her head away and closed her eyes, Addison sighing heavily.

"We will come and wake you in a few hours" She stated, Meredith rolling her eyes under her closed eyelids.

"Please don't. I will wake when I want to" She snapped tirelessly, Derek merely nodding to her closed eyes and heading back outside the room. Meredith pried one eye open to be sure they were outside the room again before opening her other eye, wanting to hear more from the unfinished conversation between her friends and boyfriend.

"She is resenting me because I saved her" Derek said straight to the point, Cristina shaking her head.

"No, she has had a long day and is tired. We can give her that I mean, she was dead, for a long time. We don't know the strain that can put on a body"

"I understand that but that was something else Cristina" Addison commented, running her hand down her face in stress.

"So what do we do then? Sitting here mopping about her apparently being suicidal is not going to help her is it? We need to move past it so she can as well"

"How can you do that? How can you move past it when we almost lost her for good, all because she gave up fighting? I can't move past it until I know I can let her leave the house without thinking she is going to drown herself again or throw herself in front of a car or run away and hide from everything. I can't move past it- I can't" Derek turned away from them and walked down the hall, Addison following him leaving Cristina outside her room lost and confused.

The next day

Bailey arrived at Meredith's room to find her sitting up, much to her disapproval, Derek arguing down her ear which seemed to be going in one way and out the next.

"What did I tell you about taking it easy?" Meredith turned to her, not giving her another chance to speak before cutting straight to the chase.

"When can I leave?" Everyone turned to her shocked, Bailey's mouth gapping slightly in surprise.

"Grey I said I wanted you in for at least another 3 days for observation" Meredith rolled her eyes and looked straight at Bailey, not flinching slightly.

"Okay, when is the soonest I can leave against medical advice?"

"Well we can't hold you here against your own free will Meredith, but if I give you the forms for leaving against medical advice they also need to be signed by your medical proxy" Bailey stated as a matter of fact, knowing full well that Derek and Cristina wouldn't let her leave without at least another day in for observation.

"That's fine. I don't have a medical proxy so I can sort out the forms on my own" She smiled, everyone staring at her in utter shock. 1 hour and a few dozen arguments later Meredith was signing the last of her forms and getting changed to leave. Derek and Addison stood in the corner of the room watching how every movement she made was pain filled and not easy, but still how she never once gave in to the defeat.

"Meredith this is probably the worst decision you have ever made" Addison commented, Meredith not looking up as she buttoned up her jeans.

"I doubt you believe that but okay" She mumbled, Derek raising his eyebrows in worry. After Meredith was finished getting ready she stood up straight, Derek and Addison taking a step towards her.

"I am going to see Richard" They nodded, taking another step in which Meredith took a step back in defence.

"Alone" She finished, turning on her heel and leaving.

"Are you concerned, because I am concerned" They both turned to the doorway to find Cristina walking in with a wheelchair, looking up in confusion when she never spotted Meredith.

"Where is she?"

"You actually think she would have gotten into that thing after today? You make me laugh Cristina" Addison giggled, patting the woman on her shoulder as she walked past, Derek smirking slightly.

"She has a point. You think that after this morning she would genuinely be wheeled out by either of us?"

"Well no but it was worth a shot. Where is she?"

"She is with Richard"

"She went to see Chief, why?" Meanwhile, Meredith took a few deep breathes before knocking on the door to Chief's office, opening and entering when she heard him call on the other side of the doorframe.

"Meredith? I thought Bailey was keeping you in for observation" He stood in worry, Meredith shaking her head as she kept her distance from his desk.

"I am going home, I just wanted to drop these off to you" She took a few steps forward and handed him a brown envelope, his frown creasing even further as he pulled the tab open. Pulling out the papers, he looked up in shock, shaking his head.

"Your resignation papers. Meredith I won't accept them. I know what happened yesterday was tough on you but this isn't what you really want. This isn't what your mother would have wanted for you"

"So you're saying you don't accept them?" She asked, completely avoiding the other half of his shocked outburst.

"That is exactly what I am saying" She nodded slowly, turning and walking to the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob and sighed heavily, fighting back the tears and she looked back up at him.

"Fine. I quit" His jaw dropped, his head shaking involuntarily from side to side.

"No Meredith-" She stopped him mid-sentence, a tear rolling down her cheek as she made eye contact with him.

"It was really nice working with you Richard"