River tried not to walk into other people's minds but she couldn't help it.
She walked through all their heads without even realising until she was in there, wandering through the strange landscape. They were all so very different from the confused mess of thoughts and feelings that made up her head. The clear cut simplicity of Jayne's mind, all straight edges and gun metal. Wash's mind was full of swirling winds and dancing clouds. Inara's mind, a labyrinth of silk and incense, built on a foundation of steel. Shepard Book's, iron walls building a fortress of faith.
She tried not to walk in their minds but she always did, even Simon's mind. But whenever she walked into Simon's mind she walked so carefully. Simon was her anchor. In that confusing sea of her thoughts… not her thoughts… other's thoughts…thoughts that belonged to no one... Simon was the beacon that guided her to shore. But when she was in his mind she could feel something, something that Simon was once… is now…would be… could be…would not be…could never be. Beneath all his thoughts (worrying about her, worrying about Kaylee, worrying about medical supplies, worrying about her) there was a slow deep pulse, like the breathing of a sleeping giant. It was part of Simon… but not… and somehow a part of her too… but not… and part of something else. And it was wonderful and terrible and brilliant and deadly.
River didn't know what it was but she was scared of waking it.