4.
There were many things Haru had in mind to do over his short summer break. Swimming, of course, filled up most of it, though doing absolutely nothing peaked his interest too. He had even tampered with a couple of recipes Mrs. Tachibana had sent him to try, saying that the twins loved them and she figured he and Makoto would adore them too. As usual, the woman was right.
Shopping with Hiromi, however, did not make the cut. He would have much rather been basking in the sunlit water than on the street with all the other temporarily free college students deciding their wallets were a bit too heavy. So how he ended up spending his limited time accompanying her and Makoto in the shopping district, Haru had no freaking idea. He felt like blaming Makoto. In all honesty, he was probably right.
It wasn't like the orca was the person who had asked him to tag along on the trip; Hiromi had done that herself. But Haru was pretty damn sure that Makoto was the one who had mentioned the idea and had thrown him under the bus as a result. Five minutes into the first store, however, and Haru couldn't even blame him. Shopping with Hiromi was maddening.
She was the ultra-shopper, everything catching her eye the moment she walked into the store. Sale or not, she was thumbing through the racks like a vendetta, tongue out and eyes piercing while looking for something she'd like. And when she did like something, she tried on five versions of it because, as she said, "you never know which one is the best fit if you don't try them all". Often she would end up getting more than one. Haru thought that that was ridiculous and told her so. Makoto then brought up his many swimsuits, which Haru didn't understand how that was even related because they all fit him different, goddammit. It most definitely was not the same. Makoto assured him it was.
The worst part, however, was that not only did Hiromi take forever to find things for herself, she also insisted that Makoto and Haru try things on as well. Haru found himself forced into shirts of all kinds (he blatantly refused to wear the neon with holes because the color and the practicality of it was as much as damaging to his retinas as it was to his dignity), into skinny jeans that were so tight Makoto had to actually come in and help him get them off, and to his surprise, into an outfit he ended up liking and buying because even he had to admit Hiromi was right on how great his ass looked in it.
By the time lunch rolled around, he was exhausted and ready to take a nap. As Hiromi and Makoto came back to their table outside a small café, he was silently praying to the water gods that they were done with this little adventure of theirs. Ah. Water. Maybe he would hit the pool later instead of a nap.
"Here you are, Haru." Makoto said, handing Haru his sandwich and a bottle of water. "Sorry it took so long, there was a long wait inside." Haru just shrugged, taking it with a thanks as they both sat on the other side of him, shoulders gently touching.
"I've known you for over a month now, Haruka-kun, and I still have never seen you drink anything but water." Hiromi noted with a smile, watching Haru unscrew the lid before touching anything else.
"I like water." Was all he said, pressing the rim to his lips. She laughed like he had said something funny, biting into her fry thoughtfully.
"Mhm. Mako-kun has told me all about the misadventures of you and pool-chan." Haru cast a look at Makoto. If he wasn't going to make Makoto pay for today before, he certainly was now. "Ah- don't be upset, Haruka-kun! You're Mako-kuns favorite subject, so I've learned a couple of things." She cast a caring look at her boyfriend whose ears were shading red. "For instance, I've heard you're a pretty good cook."
"I guess." Haru began unwrapping his sandwich, sulking slightly over how it was chicken and not mackerel.
"I wish I could cook." She pouted. "All I manage to do is burn things. One time my dad and I actually had to pull out the fire extinguisher on some grilled cheese. I'm rather jealous!" she was beaming now, like she was proud of him for doing something she couldn't, and Haru felt the urge to flick a fry at her. He would have if a, he wanted to be immature, and b, he had any fries to flick. Makoto had some, but Haru was pretty sure he would be against him punting a fried potato at his girlfriend's face.
"It's not that hard. It just takes practice." He then eyed Makoto, remembering that there was always an exemption. "Except for Makoto. It's a lost cause for him."
"Haru!" Makoto pouted while Hiromi laughed.
"I had to throw away three pans because of you."
"How was I supposed to know that it would stick to the bottom!?"
"Everybody does. You always spray it first before putting it on the burner. Even your siblings know."
"I-"
"Mako-kun, even I know that…" Hiromi frowned. Makoto's cheeks were big enough to be balloons. Red enough too. Hiromi ended up patting the left side, puffing the air out and deflating it as she tried to comfort him. "Don't worry, maybe chef Haruka-kun can teach us together! With me there, I'm sure you'll do better!" Makoto smiled at that.
"I can try!" Haru really didn't know how her presence could possibly make Makoto a better cook, since he had tried countless times to fix the problem already, but he decided that holding his tongue would probably be a better choice. He took another drink of water and cast his eyes to the side when Hiromi gave Makoto a kiss on the cheek.
"Mm, Mako-kun, did you find out about Saturday?" The way Makoto answered with an "uhm" made Haru look back at them. He couldn't help but notice the shifty glance in those green eyes, uncertainly lining up with his own curiously vivid blue.
"You forgot to ask him, didn't you?" Hiromi sighed, putting her forehead into her palm. She gave a light flick to Makoto's ear as if to scold him. "Haruka-kun, what are you doing this weekend?" It took all of two seconds for him to come up with a big flat nothing, but decided that it would probably look better if he pretended to be thinking about it. Even then, he didn't report his findings. Probably best to know why she was asking first. Like hell he was going shopping again.
"Why?"
"Okay, now hear me out, Haruka-kun, because I know you and you are a party pooper and you won't want to go but you really should! It will be so much fun!" Haru looked at her blankly, wondering in what universe she could possibly say that she knew him well enough to decide his personality. Hiromi looped her arms around Makoto's and smiled at him.
"So, Mako-Kun and I are going out dancing and we really want you to come with. I have this girlfriend- her name is Suzuki, but everybody calls her Zuki- and she's single and really cute and I've told her a little about you and she would love to meet you! Isn't that great!? It would be like a double date with best friends!" Haru didn't even skip a beat.
"No." Perhaps he wasn't giving Hiromi enough credit on how well she knew him because his reply didn't even seem to faze her. On the contrary, she was quick to respond just as blunt.
"I'll take you to the pool." Like a reflex his eyes became brighter at the mere mention of it. Still, he forced himself to hold his ground. Two years ago she would have had him. But not this time. This time he was prepared.
"I already have a pass." More than one, actually, but he decided not to add that factor.
"Come on, Haruka-kun!" she groaned, pulling at her ponytail. He counted her frustration as a win for him. "It will be a great way to get out there and enjoy yourself!"
"Now, now Hiromi-Chan," Makoto intervened, smiling kindly down at her. "If Haru doesn't want to-"
"You baby him too much, Mako-kun!" Hiromi interrupted, pressing fingers to his lips. "He needs to get out of the water and explore dry land. Besides, you said it would be fun if Haruka-kun came with too!" A splash of guilt crossed Makoto's face and Haru narrowed his eyes at him.
He was surprised that Makoto was up for this in the first place. He wasn't exactly built to dance fluidly across a dance floor. Raw power was more of his forte, his back and arms much more of his essence than his hips. The giant would probably be clumsy in his moves, stepping on Hiromi and other poor souls who got a bit too close to those dangerous feet of his.
Haru knew all too well what he was capable of because he had danced with Makoto before. An overabundance of guys in their gym class had him switch to dancing the girls part, which really he didn't mind except for the fact that Makoto seemed keen on smashing his feet and ruining his swimming career before it even began. By the end of it he just stood on Makoto's own feet, deciding beauty wasn't worth loss of limbs. Rei probably would have been disappointed.
Because of this Haru couldn't help but wonder why exactly Makoto even wanted to go. It was possible that Makoto had gotten better in the three years since then, but Haru seriously doubted it. So what drove him? He was tempted to say yes just to understand. But he couldn't do such a thing. Haru may be inexperienced, but he was not ignorant. He knew what happened at dance clubs. There would kissing and touching and grinding of bodies that didn't know the meaning of personal space while music pounded through the room and the drunks of the night made up the dance floor. And right in the middle would be Makoto with Hiromi wrapped around him like a snake, playing with the fluff of his hair, kissing at beautiful smiles, brushing at taunt arm muscles. They would only have eyes for each other. Haru would be just a member in the crowd, and wanting him to be there would not change that. He would much rather be at home sitting in his tub then be forced to watch Hiromi stick her tongue down his best friend's throat. In just a month he had seen enough of that to last his lifetime.
"I may have said something like that." Makoto laughed hesitantly, scratching at his cheek. "But I would never force you to go, of course!" Hiromi puffed out her cheeks.
"Well I would!" she slammed her palms on the table and leaned forward, eyes intensely staring Haru down. "Come with us! Let loose for once, Haruka-kun. Even if it's just a little while. Zuki really does want to meet you. When was the last time you got together with another girl? It would be good for you to get out there and meet people!"
"I'm fine, thanks." Haru said it in a final tone that sounded ruder than he probably should have allowed, but he couldn't help it. He was more than done with this conversation in multiple different ways. To exercise his point even further Haru excused himself and grabbed his half-eaten meal to toss it in the trash, heading towards the bathroom afterwards.
Inside, Haru used the coolness of the water to soothe his agitated state, knowing that if he returned like he left he would regret it. He really ought to be nicer to Hiromi. She was probably doing what she thought was kind. And really, how was she supposed to understand him when lately he didn't even understand himself either? Iwatobi had never made him act up like this. Haru sighed. Tokyo was starting to get beyond ridiculous. If he didn't sort out his shit soon he was going to go crazy. Maybe then he would stop treating Hiromi as if she was a threat to his very existence.
To his surprise, when Haru returned, Hiromi was gone and Makoto was left alone sitting at a cleared table. As usual, when Hiromi was gone a sudden pressure around him was released and Haru found himself much more relaxed as he sat back down.
"Where did Hiromi go?" he asked Makoto, looking at her vacant seat.
"Oh, when you were in the bathroom a friend of hers called and dragged her off." Makoto smiled at him lightly, though seconds later it dropped. "Haru, look I'm sorry Hiromi-chan sprang that on you. She mentioned it before and I told her you probably wouldn't be interested but-"
"Makoto, its fine." Haru interrupted. "It doesn't bother me. It's just not my thing." Makoto nodded, though he still looked guilty. "I didn't even really think it was your thing." Haru teased then, letting a small smirk lift his lips. "Do you not remember first year?" Clearly he did the way his face turned red.
"Well, it was Hiromi-Chan's idea but I thought it sounded like fun! We never had anything like that back home. Something new to try."
"No." Haru agreed, standing up. "Just make sure you tell her to wear padded shoes."
"Harrruuu!" Makoto whined, looking like he had when Haru had insulted his cooking skills. Haru wondered vaguely if it would be weird to deflate his cheeks just like Hiromi had. A part of him wanted to reach over and do it. The other part of him told him he shouldn't. Instead he watched silently as Makoto followed his example and stood up, both walking in-step as the started down the sidewalk towards the train station. A sudden thought then occurred to him.
"Makoto, you do know how they dance at clubs, right?" he looked up at the tall brunette, watching him carefully.
"I, uh, yeah! I do." Haru could physically see Makoto swallow hard. It sent a shiver throughout his body and he suddenly stopped.
"Its not the same as school." The next thing he knew he was grabbing Makoto by the wrist and pushing him up against a wall somewhere to the side. Haru deliberately stepped a foot between Makoto's legs and pressed their chests as close as he could, pinning his free hand right next to Makoto's head. His heart was thumping wildly, yet his brain was nothing but calm. "There are no rules, no teachers telling you not to." His serious eyes looked right into Makoto, tipping himself onto his toes so their faces were a bit more even. Makoto looked as if Haru had just tried to stab him. "She will be up against you like this, grinding her body at every part of yours. The concept of personal body space doesn't exist there. You know this, right?"
"Yeah." Makoto breathed out slowly, the warm air sending electricity all over Haru's body and curling his toes.
"Are you comfortable with that?" the question was heavy in the air, almost crushing. "Will you be okay?" Makoto was taking forever to reply and with each passing second Haru was becoming painfully aware that maybe this was perhaps the dumbest thing he had ever done. Whatever line that they held between them, Haru was pretty sure he had just crossed it. This he was pretty positive of so when Makoto finally spoke, he couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath and widen his eyes.
"You're worried about me." Makoto's voice was quiet and soothing, like this suddenly wasn't about Makoto immersing himself into something incredibly different and instead was about comforting Haru. It was so particular to Makoto's personality that Haru should have figured this would happen.
"I just don't want her taking advantage of you." Was all Haru could say, suddenly feeling embarrassed. The contact between them was rapidly becoming too much and Haru took a step back, allowing Makoto room to breathe as well as letting his own system settle. He was pretty sure he had just fried all of his neurons in one go.
"Haru-chan really is kind." Makoto smiled at him with adoration, the power of which was too strong for him and Haru was pushed into looking away.
"I told you to drop the –chan already…" he mumbled, attempting to give a bristling glare, though he was pretty sure it failed in light of the previous compliment.
"I'll be careful. Hiromi-chan won't let anything happen to me." Makoto placed a hand on Haru's shoulder. It wasn't something Haru had explicitly said, but Makoto understood anyways. It was how their relationship always worked. Some things were just easier to convey through other methods then by words. Haru just hmphed in response.
"We should get going." Haru was one who was rarely bothered by anything, and yet standing here was driving a prickling feeling at his skin and he found it both uncomfortable and unnerving and wanted it gone. He allowed Makoto's hand to slide from his shoulder and he quickly made up a pace back on the sidewalk where other pedestrians were making their way.
Except now things were awkward, and Haru realized that maybe this was his fault. There wouldn't be this silence, which usually felt natural yet now felt odd, hanging between them if he hadn't stopped to shove Makoto up against a wall. It didn't help that now it's all his mind was filled with and that he could vaguely still feel the pressure of Makoto's larger torso against his own and how warm it had been and how it had made his heart beat so dramatically but in a way different then it usually thumped. It was much less panicking and much more driven. It kind of reminded him of how it felt to compete against Rin, except it wasn't exactly the same. There was something different. He wished he could pinpoint what it was but found himself at a loss.
A block down Haru became aware that Makoto was watching him. Even without looking to his left he could feel the piercing gaze of emerald on his face and it burned his ears. One more block and it was driving him mad to the point he demanded to know what he was staring at.
"What is it?" he snapped, eyes darting up at him before back at the road where the lights were showing green. Whatever Makoto had been doing he must have been pretty focused because when he heard Haru's voice he jumped. "Is there food on my face or something?"
"O-Oh nothing." He laughed rubbing the back of his hair, finding interest in the sky up above. "Sorry, just thinking."
"Hm." Haru found himself rolling his eyes, watching the walk light suddenly turn red and stopping accordingly. If Makoto wasn't going to explain then Haru wasn't going to push him to.
It was probably because Makoto's eyes had re-trained right back on Haru's once he had looked away that he didn't see the lights change. He continued on walking, oblivious to the speeding car dashing through the intersection. But Haru did. Haru saw. And it was the third time Makoto Tachibana had ever made his heart stop.
"Makoto!" Haru was yelling, reaching out and wrapping his arms around Makoto's middle, pulling him back with as much strength as he could muster. It was abrupt and clumsy and they both teetered back several steps before losing balance and falling backwards onto their butts. The car zoomed by miliseconds later, honking its horn aggressively.
"Ahh!" Makoto gave a startled cry, his eyes widening at the spot he had been at moments before. His surprise turned into a shaky laugh. "That was close. I nearly became a pancake! Thanks, Haru." Makoto then frowned because the arms around his stomach did nothing but tighten. "Haru?"
But Haru wasn't listening. He was too lost in what had just happened. What had almost happened. He could hear the snap of Makoto breaking at the contact of the car, hear the thud as his broken body smeared across the ground. He could see all the blood scattered across the floor, the mangled limbs, the dead, lifeless eyes of what used to be bright green. The way that heart would suddenly just stop, no longer required to bring life to its owner. He wouldn't even get to see a small montage of everything in life he had enjoyed because his death would have been so sudden, so quick, that he wouldn't even get to see his family one last time before it was all over.
Haru had no control over the way his body was shaking, just like he had no control over how terrified he suddenly felt. And he hated it. He hated it because Makoto didn't get hit, he was fine and safe right there and front of him. Yet, even the almosts were horrifying because they felt so vivid and real in his head. If he lost Makoto, he would lose everything. That thought was enough to cause him to squeeze his eyes shut as anxiety started to creep in.
"Idiot!" Haru shouted at him, burying his forehead into the small of Makoto's back. He noticed that his voice cracked but found he didn't give a shit. "Don't be so reckless!"
"Haru…" Makoto seemed to become aware of his tremble then, hooking warm fingers under his hands and squeezing them gently. "Sorry."
"Idiot…" Haru said again, his voice much quieter. He hugged his knees tight against Makoto's sides. "Pay attention…" Makoto was going to give him a heart attack. He was positive, so freaking positive. His heart was not meant to be jumping around like this.
"Are you okay?" Makoto's voice was filled with worry and Haru could feel him try to turn around. He squeezed his grip so he would stop.
"Should it really be you asking me that?" He increased the pressure of his forehead against him. "Just… give me a minute." He let out a shaky sigh.
"Okay." Haru burrowed his nose, letting the familiarity of Makoto warmth calm him while the rise and fall of his back helped even out his unsteady breathing. He could feel the tension in Makoto's shoulders, sensed the will to turn around and probably try to comfort him, but he purposely ignored it because the last thing he wanted was to be fawned over like was Makoto's nature. This was fine. This was enough.
They sat there for a while, though for how long Haru wasn't exactly sure. People walked by and murmurs echoed but he paid them no attention, instead focusing on the light pet Makoto was gracing his fingers with. It was so soft and delicate, like he was some newborn kitten that could only be touched with the lightest of presses. Haru was sure he knew that a tougher pressure would do him no harm, and yet Makoto never switched from circling light caresses onto his thumb.
How did Makoto do it? How did he manage to always make him feel so warm? He wanted to be left alone to curl in this immense heat, let it wash over him and massage at all that hurt, all that throbbed until he could finally feel nothing but this. Nothing but Makoto. What was the outside world, Tokyo, Hiromi compared to this?
It was only when the warmth suddenly vanished did Haru become aware that Makoto had been moving, turning around to face Haru with concerned eyes. He grabbed the sides of Haru's face with warm palms, forcing Haru to look at him.
"Haru, are you really okay?" Makoto was biting his lip, his brows creased and Haru was sure there had never been an expression on Makoto's face that he ever wanted to take away so badly.
"I'm fine." He said quietly. And he was. He was fine. Because Makoto was here, alive, before him. "Just… "But there were so many things that crossed his mind. Don't die. Don't leave. Don't let go. None of them sounded like things he should be saying. Not when he was Haru. Not when he wasn't Hiromi. "Be more careful next time."
"Yeah… Sorry, Haru-chan." Makoto then leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together and Haru couldn't even bring himself to tell Makoto to lay off the –Chan. Not when Makoto gave him a new sense of warmth that almost made him want to cry.