AN: Just a bit of Christmas humor. This idea popped into my head and I decided to give it a try. Poetry has never really been one of my strong suits, regardless of my interest in it. Hope you like it. As with all my other chapters in this tale, the characters are not of my property.

(Also since this is a repost, this was originally posted around Christmas, so it fit at the time.)


The Night Before Christmas at Youkai Academy.

It was the night before Christmas,

And all at the school

Were monstrous and scary,

Save for one brown haired fool.

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The students were all stranded

The bus broken down

Most students were sad

Upon their faces, a frown

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One student, though

Saw this as her turn

To catch a blonde yoko

You would think she would learn

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After all, Mizore was

The jealous kind

Snow and ice would come

Rendering most girls quite blind

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The young Yuki Onna

Lay all enwrapped

By her boyfriend's tails

So comfortably trapped

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A pink haired vampire

Through the window peered

Feeling quite certain

There was nothing to be feared

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She saw her food source

Comfortably sleeping

Moka's stomach roared

Her hunger led to weeping

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Thinking herself quiet

Toward the dorm room she crept

Ignoring her surroundings

At the blonde's throat she leapt

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Suddenly she stopped

Thinking this all too easy

A memory of the last attempt

Made the girl quite queasy

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Looking down the girl saw

Traps, tripwires, and ice

In a multitude of forms

And none of them nice

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Cursing to herself

Moka retreated from the room

Scared of everything

Lying in wait in the gloom

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Quickly she left

Then to the girls dorm she went

To borrow a few things

It was time well spent

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Leaving the dorms

She spotted hair of blue

A succubus out flying

"I need your help Kurumu!"

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The succubus landed

Showing severe lack of sleep

From Moka's request

From laughter she did weep

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The vampire in a rage

Knocked the succubus out

She quickly saw the worth

Of a human shield to tout

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Quickly leaving

The scene of the crime

Moka laughed quietly

She would get him this time

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Kurumu dreamed

Of a blonde fox so fine

Unknowing that soon

Moka would be crossing a line

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The pinkette slid Kurumu

Face first on the floor

The trap that she sprung

Threw Moka out the door

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The vampire fumed

How could this be?

The trap caught Kurumu

Yet the one hurt was me.

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Moka took out a box marked

Naruto hunting gear

Putting on a suit and goggles,

She opened the door with trepidation and fear

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The goggles showed her

A floor filled with traps

And a blue haired succubus

Spread across the sleeping pair's laps

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Moka raised an eyebrow

That didn't seem fair

She was the one blasted out,

Yet her decoy was the one who was deep in the lair

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Mustering up her courage

Over the first tripwire she stepped

Only for her foot to hit a pressure plate

Over gouts of flame and poison darts the vampire leapt.

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Snarling in frustration

Moka tried again

Only to be rebuffed

At a speed that felt like Mach ten

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Suddenly the vampire

Had the immediate thought

Of the student that

Naruto was supposed to have taught

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She went to Tsukune's room

And opened the door

She was shocked by what she saw

Tied up on the floor

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In a very quick moment

Her hair wasn't the only part of her pink

Whoever knew it was

Yukari that had a bondage kink

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Ignoring the muffled pleas

Of the boy tied up on the ground

Moka quickly backed away

And softly shut the door with nary a sound

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Moka trudged back

To Naruto's room

Trying to forget

What she had seen of Tsukune's doom

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Moka had taken out a box

Marked Explosives, Don't Touch

She emptied it out

Then a voice asked Overkill Much?

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There stood Tsukune

All decked out in bright green

Moka had only one thought:

He looks like a string bean.

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Tsukune gave a thumbs up

His white teeth gave a ping

You have the flames of youth!

Through Moka's ears, this did ring.

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Dynamic Entry! Tsukune leapt

Through the now open door

Then came stumbling out

Looking much worse than before

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Smoke rose from his form

And who should appear

But Yukari with a whip

And her face set in a leer

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Moka I'm sorry,

Tsukune shouldn't have left

I'll take him back now,

Tsukune moan, of hope, was bereft

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Purging her thoughts

Of this very strange scene

Moka set her sights

Once more on the blonde teen

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Moka's hunger waxed stronger

Her Rosary gave a rattle

Then to her surprise

Her inner vampire began to prattle

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You are just a weak little girl

You call yourself a vampire

You are nothing but a limp leech

Now get some blood before we both expire

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Stacking the dynamite

Just inside the door with care

She figured the blast radius was small

And Naruto would still be there

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Setting the match to the fuse

Moka ran for the hills

She just hoped Mizore and Kurumu

Had updated their wills

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Moka counted down quickly

Then she heard a loud pop

When she saw the room

Her jaw, boy did it drop.

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She turned to see the carnage, yet

To Moka's shock and surprise

Instead of a scene of burns and charring

A fog of confetti covered her eyes.

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Moka's mouth was open

She fumed, it was a dud

Her inner self laughed,

You are just like Elmer Fudd.

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All these plans you have hatched

Blew up in your face

Looking at the results

You stink at the chase

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Let me take over

I'll show you my dear

How a vampire operates

Or else we'll be here till next year

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The sweet tempered Moka

Transformed with a glow

She jumped into the room

Then was thrown out into the snow

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Shock and frustration

Showed on her face

She jumped back screaming

Naruto! Know your place!

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Meanwhile, Naruto and Mizore

Laying cuddled and snug

The Yuki Onna watched the vampire

With an expression quite smug

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While she had been awake

Almost the whole time

Her thoughts on the matter were

Ah, the revenge is sublime

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This uppity vampire

This pink haired wench

Thinking only of herself

And her monstrous thirst to quench

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If only the girl would ask

Instead of jumping to take

She wouldn't have smashed

Her face with that rake

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The inner Moka

With rage was seething

She was a vampire, the best!

Not a babe who was still teething.

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These traps they all seemed

To be evil and cruel

It might have helped Moka

To remember the Golden Rule

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Moka thought for a moment

Who else could possibly help

Pass this gauntlet

Created by an impudent whelp

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Her thoughts turned to Gin

He could use his werewolf speed

To pass through these traps

And their danger not heed

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She went in search of the boy

She found him asleep on his bed

With pictures of girls

Laying all around his head

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Seeing one of herself

In clothing rather skimpy

Her rage bloomed and made

Gins abilities seem quite whimpy

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The battered wolf plead

"I'll do anything I swear!"

Moka snarled, "To Naruto's room!"

She then quickly followed the were. (my beta pointed out that I should say this should be read like were in werewolf.)

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Gin stood by the door

His eyes filled with fear

"You want me to go in there?"

He sniffed with a tear.

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Squaring his shoulders

The wolf set out

To conquer the traps

And show his own clout

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However, before the wolf

Could bring his speed to the fore

A note near his eyes read

Gin, those pictures, I've got more!

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The wolf paled slowly,

He had a choice to make

Be beat by the vampire

Or a blackmailing Naruto to wake

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Gin made his choice

Broken bones, those would heal

But if those photos got out

He wouldn't get a last meal

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Slowly turning towards

The girl with silver hair

He cried, "There is no way

I will go in there!"

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Frustrated, the vampire attacked

And pounded the wolf bloody

A passing sleepy student was asked

By Gin "Help me buddy?"

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Moka fumed! She raged.

"I'm hungry!" She did cry

Then she had a thought

There was one more person to try

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The witch Ruby

Although quite sweet

Wouldn't mind helping her

In getting a Naruto treat.

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Moka woke the witch

"Ruby, go to your master."

Moka continued, "I need spells,

And you to be the caster."

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Ruby woke slowly

Moka seemed possessed and in a hurry

Not too unlike the incident

With that awful, atrocious curry

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Moka why did you wake me?

The witch slowly mumbled.

Moka pushed her through Naruto's door

And watched as through the traps she stumbled

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Moka soon realized her error

She had woken the witch

With a need for her spells

Her plans now had a small hitch

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Her jaw lowered further and further

As Naruto's defenses were tested

And yet the sleepy witch succeeded

In getting through them unmolested

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Ruby tripped then landed

Quite safe on the bed

There was even a pillow

In a spot for her head

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Ruby just nodded

"Thanks Moka. I need the sleep"

Yet out in hallway

The now pink haired vampire did weep

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She had tried all night long

Just for a little blood

Yet she was the one

Often face down in the mud

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For hours she tried

Tripping traps through the night

Valiantly she refused

To give up this fight

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Then she noted that dawn was arriving

She had spent the whole time

In an effort for food

She huffed "This hunger is a crime."

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She sat in the hallway

Her face full of dejection

She just couldn't crack

The room's terrible protection

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She sighed and then turned

To face the dreaded door

To see a brightly colored box

Just sitting on the floor

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She then spent five minutes

The box poking and prodding

Trying to determine

What the blonde fox was plotting

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She read the tag, and slowly opened the box

Tears came down her face in a flood

It was filled to the brim

With packets of blood

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Sitting atop the pile was a note

Upon which was written

I like to be asked

Before I am bitten

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The note continued

Remember I said ask first

Had you done so,

Assuaged would be your thirst.

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Moka drained a few bags

Reveling in the taste

So thirsty was she

Not was drop went to waste.

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Moka sat and thought

Of her words and her deeds

She had been quite hungry

But hadn't thought where her actions might lead.

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Moka sat thinking of what was done

She sat there depressed and listless

Hoping her actions hadn't lost her friends

Or ruined their Christmas

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A clone of Naruto

Had watched the whole night

Seeing every step, plot, and fail

Yet the pinkette wouldn't give up the fight.

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The clone smirked as it saw

The girl's eyes begin to close

He wrapped her in a blanket

From her shoulders to her toes

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Nudging the sleepers to one side

He set Moka on the bed

Softly placing a pillow

Underneath her head

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Moka finally was able to enter the room

Her last thought as she drifted off to rest

I hope their Christmas is good

This one has been the best.

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When he had tucked in the girl

And turned off the light

The clone whispered as he faded from sight

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.


Thus ends my flight of Holiday whimsy.