Kurt forced himself to leave work early. He wanted to lose himself in designing, but he felt utterly drained of inspiration, had no mind for paperwork and had done nothing but drink too much coffee and snap at his colleagues until they walked on tiptoe around him all day.

Today was Hallowe'en, he thought as he walked home through the dreary rain that exactly mirrored his mood. Last year, he had tried to escape the day at the party in Elliot's club, which had been a total fiasco. Chandler had been there, and the dull ache that still lingered from their breakup had flared up again, leaving him wrecked. Elliot had drawn him aside and recommended going home. He had looked concerned, but Kurt had convinced himself that the concern was less about him and more about him spoiling the party for the other guests, so, stubbornly, he had refused. Elliot had then sent him upstairs with a carefully chosen young man, who as it turned out was a switch who had taken in stride a half-hearted flogging and then, when Kurt could finally fake it no longer, sat on the bed and soothingly stroked his back while Kurt broke down in sobs.

He hadn't visited the club again until his birthday, when he met Blaine.

Blaine. His mood lifted a little as he thought of his beautiful sub. His submission the last few days had been so strong, so beautiful, but if Kurt was honest to himself, it was probably nothing he could handle at the moment. He suddenly feared that the timing of everything was all wrong. He had wanted to collar Blaine earlier than initially planned not only because Blaine wanted it, but also because he had hoped to feel more secure in their relationship when November came. But now Blaine was more submissive than before, and Kurt...Kurt was anything but Dominant at the moment. He couldn't take care of Blaine the way he deserved it. He could hardly take care of himself.

Fortunately, Kurt recognized what he was doing, and stopped himself before he could do something he would really, really regret. He wanted to call his dad and let him set his head straight, as he had so often done before. He could probably call Elliot, who had the same admirable quality of being able to handle Kurt at his craziest, but he didn't want to disturb him. He had been enough of a burden to him already, back when he had tried to sort things out with Chandler and had come running to Elliot with every little problem. It was a miracle they were still...

And there he was doing it again.

It was probably good that Blaine would be home tonight, he decided. He wasn't fit for company, and Blaine deserved a few weeks where he didn't have to rise in the middle of the night to get to work on time.

The apartment was empty when Kurt got home, unpleasantly wet and cold and no better for the fact that on the way up he had realized that in his quasi-honeymoon with Blaine, they had completely forgotten to get any groceries and that now, there was nothing even remotely eatable anywhere in the house. He stood in the hallway for a while, contemplating facing the wet and the cold again to change that, but then decided to get takeout later should he get hungry.

Then he went to bed.

He lay down in his clothes, pulled the covers up to his chin and curled on his side.

He didn't cry, didn't even feel like it. But he was ready to let the day, the whole month just wash over him with its grayness and its cold and its loneliness.

He must have dozed off at some point. He dimly heard the key in the door, but hardly realized what that meant until Blaine sat down on the bed beside him and he felt a tentative hand in his hair.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked softly, and Kurt thought for a moment, then shrugged. Blaine carded his fingers through his hair, and Kurt closed his eyes. It felt good. He wouldn't have been able to say before if he wanted Blaine with him today, had even convinced himself he was better off alone, but now, he was somehow so glad Blaine was here.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked. For a long moment, Kurt said nothing. He should, he realized. He would have days like today, when everything seemed in vain and life seemed hopeless, every now and then during November and the beginning of December, though he knew it would be less than last year and next year less than now. So Blaine should know what was going on with him. But...talk? Now?

"Later?" he said, hating how insecure he sounded.

Blaine pressed a kiss into his hair, and he felt him nod against his head.

"Okay. Then, for now, you should be wearing clothes that are a little more comfortable than the things you wore to work."

He rose and got a pair of sweatpants and a shirt out of the dresser, and then he began to undress Kurt. Kurt would have preferred to not have to move at all, but he didn't protest, letting Blaine take care of him and only helping a little with peeling off his pants. Once he was settled back (and it was really so much more comfortable without the belt digging into his belly every time he moved), he asked,

"Wait, what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to stay home until the weekend?"

Blaine nodded. "I did, but -" he hesitated briefly. "Yesterday I met with Chandler, and he told me about what November means to you. Don't get mad, Master Elliot told him to, and both of them are only looking out for you. I want to be here for you. I want to take care of you."

Kurt sat up, shaking off Blaine's gentle touch. To his own surprise, though, he didn't sound angry or annoyed as he replied,

"I can take care of myself."

Blaine smiled. "I know, Sir. As can I. It's just nice to not have to do it all the time."

Kurt shook his head. "I can't ask that of you. You don't have to -"

"I want to. Please, let me?"

Kurt was too tired to argue further. So he just let himself fall back on his pillow, closed his eyes and gave a minuscule nod. He felt Blaine press another kiss to his forehead, and then he was left blessedly alone. But as he listened to the sounds Blaine made in the kitchen, clearing up or putting something away, he had to admit they were comforting.

After a while, Blaine came back to the bedroom and asked,

"Are you hungry? I got groceries on my way here."

He was a little hungry, but even if Blaine would cook, getting out of bed and sitting down at the table seemed too much effort.

Blaine seemed to pick up on his thoughts and smiled.

"I think, just for today it would be okay to eat in bed, wouldn't you? I'll go fix something quick."

Blaine's cooking had improved a lot over the last few months. It wasn't haute cuisine, but Kurt knew he would make something simple and good.

He leaned back with something almost resembling a smile.

Blaine brought him a tray with soup and bread and declined any need to eat himself, but sat with him while he ate. Kurt protested a little, declaring he wasn't an invalid, but after the first spoon of soup he felt surprisingly hungry and ate until everything was gone. He felt better with a full stomach, but not so good he was up to anything else but lying in bed. Tomorrow, he'd push everything aside and be a functional human being again, but for today, eating had to suffice as an achievement.

Blaine cleared up the dishes and then came back to the bedroom, changed into more comfortable clothes himself, and then turned off the lights and joined Kurt in bed, spooning him from behind and holding him in his arms.

Everything Kurt felt, the grief and the dejection and the weird loneliness, was still there, but in Blaine's arms, it seemed to not wrap him up quite so much.

Eventually, though he wasn't sure if Blaine hadn't already fallen asleep, he began to talk. He started with the things Blaine already knew, elaborating just a bit to make sure Blaine knew what he could expect the next month if he followed through with his plan to take care of Kurt. But then Blaine said,

"Tell me about him."

And Kurt did. He talked about the way his dad had always tried to connect to him, but it had been clear he didn't really understand him. The difficult time they had had after the passing of Kurt's mother, how for a time everything they talked about was related to the immediate need of reorganizing their lives. After that, talking about their grief or their feelings had become awkward, and so they didn't, didn't talk at all for a time except for what naturally came with living together. How they had finally reconnected after Kurt had come out, and how their relationship had improved to a point where it felt like Kurt himself was in a coma after his dad had had a heart attack in Kurt's junior year of high school.

Talking about his dad was a lot less painful, and in fact a lot more liberating, than Kurt had anticipated, and he found he was genuinely laughing as he told Blaine how his dad had performed the Single Ladies dance for him as a graduation gift.

"Complete with the butt slap and everything. It was hilarious."

"He sounds like a great guy," Blaine said softly.

Kurt smiled into his pillow and closed his eyes.

"He was. He would have loved you."

Then he fell asleep.

…...

When Blaine woke, he had no idea what time it was. The blinds effectively shut out any light there might be, and no sound was to be heard except for Kurt's regular, soft breathing. He smiled, gently pulling Kurt closer into his arms again. His first attempt at taking care of Kurt had gone much better than he had expected, but he had no illusions that it would stay that way. But for now, he would enjoy the moment for as long as it lasted.

Kurt stirred, and the movement directed Blaine's attention to his own erection, pressed snugly against Kurt's ass and refusing to let itself be ignored again. Blaine sighed. He didn't want to let go of Kurt, but neither did he want him to discover that Blaine's body had different expectations to the way their morning would go. This was neither the time nor the place.

So he tried to gently untangle himself from Kurt to rise, see what time it was and maybe start on breakfast, but Kurt gripped his hands harder to keep him from leaving and then pushed his ass back against him in what was unmistakably an invitation.

Oh.

Oh, dear God. That was the moment Chandler had talked about that one time, wasn't it? When Kurt wanted...?

Blaine found that while his mind was busy freaking out, his body had taken command and was pressing against Kurt, clearly happy with the way things were going.

"I want you inside me," Kurt said, his voice rough with sleep and incredibly sexy. It wasn't a command, not really, but all the same, Blaine found himself unable to disobey. Not that he wanted to, really, even though he might be slightly nervous. But the idea alone was so unbelievably hot that he had to moan into Kurt's shoulder before he was able to say,

"O-okay. How...?"

He moaned again as Kurt once more pressed against him.

"Just like that. Go slow, it's been a while."

So Blaine slowly undressed Kurt, pressing gentle kisses to his neck and back, then got quickly undressed himself and fished for the lube in the drawer. As he lubed up his fingers, he panicked a little, one thought suddenly predominantly in his mind: This is not how we're supposed to be. But as soon as the thought had come, it was gone again, replaced by a feeling of completely right, and any way he wants it, and it's just another way to serve him.

Kurt turned towards him with a concerned expression. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

The pet name reassured him further, and he nodded and smiled. "I'm fine, Sir."

Then he took courage and pressed a finger against Kurt's hole, enjoying the moan that escaped Kurt and the way his eyes slid shut.

After that, it was easy. Once he had one finger inside Kurt and felt the velvety heat and tightness, he couldn't wait to feel the same around his cock. But he took his time, opening Kurt up slowly and thoroughly, searching and finding his prostate and listening to every moan, every whisper, and every press against his own body to learn what was good. And when he finally lubed himself up and slowly pushed into Kurt, he didn't even stop long enough to get nervous again, but instead marveled at the way Kurt's body felt around him.

For a long time, he slowly rocked into Kurt, licked the sweat from his skin and listened to him moan, but at some point, he couldn't bear it any longer. His thrusts became faster and harder, and he closed his hand around Kurt's cock, catching precome to use it as lube as he stroked him.

"Come, please, Sir," he whispered into Kurt's neck, and then they both did, slumping down bonelessly onto the bed as they came down from their high.

After a while, Blaine grabbed a handful of tissues from the nightstand and cleaned them up haphazardly, then lay back down again only to find himself being kissed thoroughly by Kurt.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Kurt said. "You were so good, so good for me."

Blaine was satisfied to know their dynamics hadn't been affected by this, even if he was the one to take care of Kurt for a change – in any way that entailed.

"That was the thing I talked about with Chandler, you know, the thing I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do?" he said, and was happy when Kurt laughed.

"Oh? And how do you feel now you've done it?"

"Really good, Sir," he said with conviction, and Kurt laughed again.

"Good," he said. "Because after – when I'm...better – now that we can do it this way, I have a few ideas..."

Blaine groaned.