Author's Note #1: So I don't do too much now a days, besides studying. I'm not going to update until my exams are over. I am now going to be a very busy since, no need to brag (kinda feel like bragging cause it feels pretty good, especially after being shut down by my school to go to Japan ... I'm still slightly depressed over that, been filling myself up with Japanese things to clear up the hole in my heart, though of course I had to stop to study, but anyway the news! I'm officially a yearbook editor! Which means I need to learn about teamwork. I'm not that great at teamwork but anyway, my worries aside, I don't own One Piece. I am now, in terms of story, in the Impel Down arc, but like, the beginning of it. Luffy's inside the prison, I wish I could see other straw hats, I like Luffy just fine, however I'm that person who, no matter how important the fight scene in front of me is important, I'm the one going WHERE THE F IS (INSERT MISSING STRAW-HAT HERE) if I haven't seen them in about 15 episodes. So mainly, yeah, I'm the one screaming WHERE THE F IS SANJI?! Which sucks since I really like Sanji and he's the one most likely to go running off and not tell anyone his plan. Like Little Garden and Water 7 going to the f-ing train station. I don't actually swear in real life, just a little fact for you all.

Escort Me
By: Setkia
Dedicated to CaptainNapkin cause you're awesome and you totally saved this story from having serious plot issues.

Full Summary

Sanji is an escort in order to pay off debts and buy back the Baratie from Don Krieg. He is charming, flattering and a complete prude. He has a hatred for his job, not at all proud that he's been reduced down to having such a despicable occupation but a certain green-haired regular makes things a bit more bearable.

Roronoa Zoro is a member of a gang, the Shichibukai, and he's regretting it deeply. In order to obtain back a sword of his departed friend, he joined their ranks. He can't handle it some days and goes to rant about it to a curly browed escort. However things change when the gang decides to recruit a member by the name of Sanji.

PART ONE: RECRUITMENT

Chapter 3: The Black Bandana

Women were very pretty. Sanji admired their beauty and their grace, their frail bodies and smooth skin, their long lashes, their supple bodies and their class. What he did not admire however, was how yet another customer was running her fingers up his thigh yet again and it felt as though she were leaving holes in his skin.

Her expensive ring flashed and Sanji frowned. Was everyone like this? Perhaps he sounded like a romantic, but did everyone have to be so very unfaithful? What would it take for him to meet someone who wasn't in it for sex, who wanted a relationship and who could be counted on to not go off looking for sex elsewhere? Was he just being idealistic? He supposed his best chance to find someone was to get out of this club in the first place, but he needed the money. He made enough, he was reaching his goal, but at the same time, he knew how he could get more money faster. He just wasn't willing to subject himself to such affairs.

Sanji gently took the woman's hand off of his thigh and held it in his. "Miss, I must object, your approach is flattering I can admit, however I—"

SMACK!

Sanji blinked. He gently raised a hand to his cheek, a red bruise beginning to form. The girl looked close to tears, her eyes hidden behind sunglasses, though the hurt was heavily implied. "Am I disgusting? Is that why?" she asked. Her frizzy dark brown hair fell, her figure was a bit pudgy, her legs kinda looked like stubs and her skin looked rather rough smooth and yet Sanji wouldn't touch her, not below the waist and definitely not above her stomach.

"Miss—"

"Don't you 'Miss' me," she said. "What do I need to do? Am I too fat? Am I ugly? What do you want from me? Am I not enough? You're so cruel Sanji-kun! You lead a girl on, convince her you like her and then when she presses you for more you just ..." She threw up her hands and shook her head. "I can't! I can't stand it anymore! You're such a prude! Such a ... Such a ..." Realization seemed to dawn in her eyes. "You're gay, aren't you?"

"I'm not," said Sanji. "I may not desire the same things you do at this moment, but I can assure you I am not gay."

"Then what is it? What am I missing?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing, you're gorgeous," said Sanji and he meant it. "It's not you, it's me. It's ... It's complicated..."

The girl huffed, picking up her purse and strode out of the room with purpose in her stride, muttering about how she didn't need men.

"Again?"

Sanji rolled his eyes and ignored Bentham's comment.

"I don't know why you don't just give in already, it's not as though you don't want to," the man reasoned.

Sanji glared at him, clearly stating that he did not want to talk about it without having to say a word.

"I'm just curious!"

Oh no, Sanji was not having this conversation again. He refused to, he had been asked way too many times. In the past two years he had been working at the club, they always wanted to know why he was such a "prude" as they put it.

"You know, sleeping with the clients is practically part of the contract," said Bentham. He frowned. "There are some gorgeous men around here,—"

"Married men," Sanji reminded him.

"So what?" He shrugged. "I suppose the women are also pretty, if you're into that thing ..."

"Why is my sex life so important for you?" demanded Sanji.

"You mean your lack of a sex life?"

Sanji rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it up and let the smoke relax his senses.

"All I'm saying is that if you're one of those romantic saps, this is not the place for you, if it wasn't obvious to you in the first place. I mean sure, if you want all that romance and sweet talk and perfect princesses, damsels in distress, I have no problem with that. But still ... Coming to a host club to find it? I don't know why you're here, and I won't ask because I know it's none of my business, but love in a host club? That never works out, not for long anyway. You saving yourself or something?"

"It's none of your fucking business how I spend my time with my clients."

"Are you gay?"

Sanji glared at him. "Don't confuse me with you."

"I'm not, I just mean you haven't done it with any of the girls and you never do anything with them, now that I think about it. Did you think working here was like at a bar or something? Entertain them while mixing drinks and being witty? Plus you only have one male client, which might make me believe you like him. He's quite a hottie."

Sanji felt like gagging. Sure, Zoro was attractive, but not to him. In general he could appreciate the appearance of another man, he knew he was attractive in the way you knew a baby was cute, it was a fact, a combustion of different traits that made him pleasing to the eyes. Tall, tanned (though he knew most people in Japan weren't that into tanned skin), muscular and he had a brooding, mysterious aura to him, of course he was attractive. He seemed dangerous. It was a certain type of charm that Sanji didn't quite possess, though people thought he was edgy because of his fondness for cigarettes. Zoro was like the vague outline of everything women in host clubs wanted; tall, mysterious, dark, potentially dangerous, holding some dark tragic past which needs healing courtesy of the loving touch of a woman. He was eye-candy.

"He drinks too much, isn't one for conversation and has the mouth of a sailor," Sanji said as though by mentioning these things it would make Zoro less appealing but from the look in Bentham's eyes, he was now more intrigued. "Look, I can admit he's an enigma and that in and of itself is appealing to others, but I don't swing that way. I can see why girls like him, I guess why you like him ..."

"He has a really dominating aura, doesn't he? Like he'll just throw you on a bed, tie you up and—"

"Finish that sentence and I'll soufflé you."

"You can't be appreciative of a little imagination?"

Sanji scoffed. "He wouldn't go for you anyway, he's straight as a board."

Bentham grinned. "You think I can't make him change his tune?"

Sanji inhaled deeply, letting the smoke clear his head. "Just get me my next client."

Sure he knew that a host club wasn't the place if he wanted to find a meaningful relationship, but he had to do what he had to do. And if he was eaten alive in the process, Sanji didn't care. He owed Zeff at least that much.

"Well, you've got him next actually," said Bentham. "He looks awkward as hell around all the women, think you gonna go and save him from the hoard of drooling fangirls? Be his knight in shining armour?"

Sanji rolled his eyes. "You know I'm not like you."

"Sure you're not."

Sanji pushed past Bentham and entered the main area of the club with the pounding music and overwhelming smell of booze and liquor. It stuck to his clothes and he always had to take such longer showers to get rid of the nauseating smell.

He spotted Zoro in an instant, standing, as Bentham had put it, awkwardly amongst the girls who were all swarming him. He was holding onto his arm, trying to elbow his way out of the crowd.

Sanji slipped through the mob of people easily until he was face to face with the Marimo. "Well good evening."

A girl grabbed at Sanji's arm and he turned to her. She had bright, big eyes, but that smile of hers was less than innocent. "Sanji-kun! Are you free?"

"Actually, I'm not," Sanji said, layering on the sweetness in his voice. "Sadly, this guy over here has me scheduled for the next two hours." He smacked Zoro in the arm playfully, tightening his grip on him. Zoro flinched. It was barely noticeable. Sanji ignored it.

"Aw," the girl whined. "You'll see me next though, right?"

"Whatever you wish," Sanji said, flashing her a smile. "Come on, Roronoa."

He dragged Zoro by his arm through the throng of people into the back hallway, and finally into Sanji's own private room. He closed the door behind him and puffed out his smoke. "Seems like you're popular."

Zoro scoffed.

"Some of their offers seemed tempting, you didn't want to take them up on it?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "A bunch of sleazy, good-for-nothing sluts? I'm clean, I'd like to stay clean."

Sanji nodded. He didn't like to think too much about how, despite the fact that Sanji was an escort, someone who was paid to spend time with those around him, someone who was paid to, technically, as Bentham put it, have sex with anyone who asked, Zoro seemed to put him in a different category from them. He felt as though that helped him retain some of his dignity.

For a big guy who didn't say much, Sanji found that Zoro was great company. After he left he always felt like the room was just a bit too empty. He leaned back against the couch and could still smell the man in the cushions. Steel, mint and something he couldn't define.

Sanji froze.

There was something different. Something he knew wasn't the same. Though he couldn't define the final component of the tanned man's scent he knew it wasn't the metallic scent that seemed to surround him and the couch.

He felt around the cushions before his hand managed to get a hold of something. He pulled it away and held it up, recognizing it as a black bandana. And that's where the strange metallic scent was coming from.

Sanji realized upon closer inspection he knew this scent.

It was blood.

Author's Note #2: Okay the thank-yous!

SoulKagome: Yeah well, I realize that maybe not everyone reviews but that doesn't mean they aren't reading, I mean I love reviews but I also love getting e-mails about how someone added the story to their favorites.

blueexorcistfansince2012: Um, I actually didn't change anything about the dragon tattoo. I think I have an obsession with piercings and tattoos though, but come on, as if Zoro doesn't look like he'd have a tattoo.

LilMizFuNsiZe: Thank you so much, it really means something to me that you like my writing! I sound cheesy as hell and realize where all that "honour" comes from in anime, because honestly, a writer is nothing without their readers. My friend's kinda sick of anime, she's just like, "if I hear one more word about honour, I'll commit seppuku, which in case you didn't know, is a way to commit suicide in Japan, and I just realize that it's what Zoro did with Mihawk, except he lived. It's also known as "honor suicide", seppuku is more specific towards Japan, it's basically where you kill yourself to escape the shame of something, in Zoro's case, it was his defeat to Mihawk.

lilcutieprincess: I swear my friend will kill me, I stopped watching Bleach after 50 episodes before the end. She's going to kill me for it one day.

Okay so the top 3 of Shonen Jump (what I think is the top 3), are Naruto, One Piece and Bleach, not necessarily in that order. And, as a bonus 4th, yes Fairy Tail. Now here's the thing, Zoro was mimicking the first chapter of Bleach called "Death and the Strawberry", which I soon realized was not because Ichigo had a strawberry head, (Which he does) but is a pun on the meaning of the word "Ichigo". Anyway he starts to quiz/lecture a bunch of people who kicked over this little girl's memorial thing, it's awesome, he bashes their brains in. Anyway, so yeah ...

New followers: Shadow Lily Potter, murruemioria, blueangel205, BubbleToMyTea, Lost Green Tiger, bonusbillet, Razalas (just realized that was Salazar spelt backwards, well done!), Move-2-da-beat-femme
New favorites: Silver-Dragon-02, murruemioria, Lost Green Tiger, Lithium012, Move-2-da-beat-femme,

Now for the question: Do you know who Sanji's client was who slapped him? I don't make OCs, and also, if you you've read the original, or not, still, why's there blood on Zoro's bandana?