Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
A/N: Anyone still reading this? I don't want to offer excuses so please feel free to rant your disappointment. The chapter is perhaps full of errors. This has been my first update this year among my ongoing stories so forgive the inaccuracies that will make you wince and curse. I really hope you will enjoy this even for a bit. Thank you for the patience and I appreciate any feedback.
CHAPTER 4
He has given his consent. He has accepted the idea of meeting with Sasuke; of talking to the man he loved then and now; of listening to his side, his reasons and possible excuses. Naruto doesn't really know what to feel. It was a mess of emotions and he can't simply settle for just one to explain the situation of his heart and mind. One moment he'll be feeling so relieved for the fact that finally he can ask and seek answers to the questions he's been running from. Finally, he'll face Sasuke head-on and hear what the raven has to say, no matter how deep it will hurt him and finally, he can decide whether he'll let go of the love that will never die. There are moments that the relief will vanish, to be replaced by fear and dread. Fear of what he will hear, fear that he might snap and blame Sasuke for everything, fear that they will forever remain uninvolved with each other. He fears that Sasuke will ask him to forget everything that has happened between them. Fear then will be replaced by fury. Was it enough to just agree and talk? Will his suffering for years be forgotten once they are done talking? He doesn't know and he's afraid to face it. And finally, fury will be replaced by hope. An unending and unyielding hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe Sasuke can choose him and they can escape the reality to fulfil the unspoken promise. So many qualms, so many reasons, but at the end of everything, every emotion forgotten, Naruto knows he owe it to himself and to Sasuke as well. They needed to settle what has been done or what should have been done. After eight years, they needed this second chance.
-SCoH-
The dinner with Itachi has been refreshing for Naruto. He was quite afraid that he will have reservations around the older man but he found himself like how he did the old times. Itachi has been generous with stories, albeit not delving into sensitive matters. While business pops in more times than Naruto can count, he immensely enjoyed the tale of the Uchihas, for the name has been engraved in the field for more than a hundred years. And for a novice like Naruto, it's greatly satisfying to hear it from the man who really knows his forte. They parted in high spirits and for Naruto; it feels like a thorn has been removed from his throat. It's the first step to everything.
The moment he laid down on his bed, he kept thinking of a thousand possible scenarios that can happen on his meeting with Sasuke. The thought just wouldn't die down and Naruto has been restless that night.
"This is Sasuke's number. It would be better if you're the one to come up to him with your decision. Remember Naruto, keep an open mind but let your heart decide. At the end of this, it should be your happiness that matters most."
The words of Itachi rings on his ears. He has made his decision. He will not prolong both of their agony. He has decided to give a call to Sasuke as soon as he mustered all the courage he needed. With a determined mind and hopeful heart, Naruto succumbed to sleep.
-SCoH-
It turned out that Naruto needed the weekend to decide. It took him two days to finally agree with himself that he needed to talk to Sasuke. He went to work that Monday morning with confusion and nervousness taking residence in his heart. How do you approach someone whom you love yet you don't want near you? How do you start a small conversation without your emotions taking over? It's supposed to be just a call, just a damn simple call but Naruto's nerves have been working on him. He cannot count how many times he found himself staring at his cell phone, particularly at Sasuke's number. Would it be acceptable to just send a text or would that be rude, too informal, too impersonal? The rest of the day passed, with the blond's concentration flickering between his work and the decision as to settle with a short phone call. Finally, he found himself standing in front of his glass windows, looking at the sky scrapers surrounding his own company building. Clutching the device on his slightly sweaty palm, he pushed the button before he can think otherwise.
It took five rings before the most familiar voice, yet made matured and deeper, resonated.
"Sasuke Uchiha."
Naruto had to gulp. He didn't expect the sudden flood of emotions to run through him just by merely hearing Sasuke's voice. It probably took him a few moment of silence because he heard the man's voice again, this time though, it was laced with irritation.
"I am a particularly busy man and don't have the damn time to spare for prank calls. State who you are and your business with me, now."
Naruto has to bit back a snort. He is Sasuke indeed, with little patience and all the arrogance of the world. The blond must have failed to hide his amused snort for he heard the man growl.
"You know what, fuck—"
"Sasuke."
If Naruto thought that his heart jumped out of his chest when he heard Sasuke's voice, he can't even compare what he's feeling at the raven's silence. Shit. He should have sent a message beforehand. God, what was he thinking?
"I'm sor—"
"Naruto, is that you?"
Naruto wasn't able to say his apology as Sasuke cut him off. The way Sasuke spoke his name almost made Naruto fall on his knees. The way Sasuke breathe his name was so full of emotions that the blond felt it was the only the two of them that matters.
"Y-yeah. This is me. Itachi gave me your number. Would you mind if I...uhm.. Is it okay if I... Shit. Sorry. I'm just really... Damn. This is fucking hard."
If he wasn't so nervous, Naruto would have yelled when he heard Sasuke chuckled at the other line but he can't really give a damn about that now. He needed to ask the raven now.
"Hey, it's fine. Take your time."
Naruto scoffed. "I can't do that. I seem to recall that you said you're a busy man."
Hearing Sasuke's laugh has been a rare treat. "Well dobe, I really am but you know I will always make time for you."
Will it be stupid to blush like a high school girl because fuck if Naruto can't deny the burning of his cheeks. He coughed to brush off the familiar emotion and tried to inject some seriousness on his voice.
"I'm glad to hear that because I want to talk to you Sasuke. I want to settle everything. I want to know your reasons."
Sasuke might have caught on his tone and the implication of his words. Once again, silence engulfed them but Naruto knew that the other man was choosing his words.
"Of course Naruto. I have been waiting for the chance to talk to you but I don't want to be a bastard and force you. You decide when and where and I'll comply. Please let me have this chance to explain myself."
The blond bit his lower lip. The urgency, the longing and plea in Sasuke's voice is almost enough to make him forgive him.
"I'll send you a message soon."
There was a hum. It seems that the conversation has reached its end. Even though Naruto would have wanted to hear more of Sasuke's voice.
"That will be appreciated."
Naruto nodded and noted that Sasuke can't see him. "Alright. Goodbye Sasuke." He was about to end it when Sasuke's next words almost made his heart stopped beating.
"I really wanted to see you again... More than ever, Naruto. After that evening when we saw each other, I wanted nothing more than that. I... thank you Naruto."
The words were whispered, said with so much feeling that Naruto almost felt the caress of Sasuke's yearning. He didn't know how to respond to such confession, not when his feelings are starting to act up on him. He decided to end up the call.
"I'll see you, Sasuke."
And before the dark-haired man can reply, Naruto ended the call. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He finally did it. There's no turning back now.
-SCoH-
Sasuke was still staring at his mobile phone moments after the call ended. He was insanely busy that day, working on a case about an executive trying to embezzle money from the company thus he can't afford to even waste any second. With his secretary and assistant being worked to death, Sasuke still needed to rush some papers. His phone ringing only made him irritable. He was tempted to turn off the device if only he's not waiting for Itachi's call about an important business meeting. An unknown number was flashing on the device's screen and that made Sasuke even more annoyed. He rarely gives his number to anyone even for some high-positioned employees in their company. He doesn't find the need to do so. If they wanted to talk to him, they can set an appointment or call his office. He regards his private number almost as he regards his privacy.
He eventually answered the phone fearing that it might be something of importance. When his initial greeting wasn't reciprocated, he grew impatient. Time's wasting and he can't afford that. When it seems that whoever the fuck was calling him don't have any plan on speaking he was more than ready to end the call but he had the surprise of his life when he heard that voice.
Naruto...
The phone call turned out to be the best thing that he can imagine. He quickly motioned for his assistants to leave the office as he relish on the most familiar voice, the sound that he wanted to hear more than anything. When his brother told him that Naruto agreed to talk to him, he has already been on edge. But it was already two days since then and he was starting to get irritable because he fears that Naruto might have changed his mind. He can never be more wrong.
The call was short but the intent behind it is everything that Sasuke has been waiting for. Finally he can look at Naruto in the eyes and tell him that his love has never been gone, that after all these years it was still the blond that he loves, he can finally tell him of the reason behind his marriage and will hope that he's not yet late to start over.
Sasuke dreads the presence of the Sabaku on Naruto's life. The blond might have decided that it was time to move on and open his heart again. Maybe Naruto has gotten over his feelings for him and that he's ready to love another man. He cannot permit it. He now has the chance to get the love of his life back and damn if he's going to waste it.
-SCoH-
Naruto let another day passed before he sent a text message to Sasuke, noting of the place and time of their meeting. It was set on the coming Friday night at one of Naruto's favourite restaurants. The place is located about twenty minutes from his house. He's not aware where Sasuke is living so he had a second place in his mind in case it's too far from the Uchiha's residence. He cast his phone aside and buried his self in work but not even a minute has passed that the device started ringing.
Sasuke Uchiha calling...
Naruto wanted to bang his head on the polished desk because he was acting and feeling like a teenager whose crush has been calling. Really, even after so many years, Sasuke never failed to make his heart flutter. He composed himself before he answered the call.
"Sasuke."
"Good morning, Naruto."
Naruto isn't one to brag but the tone of Sasuke clearly sounds like the man is happy as he greets him.
"Good morning too. Why are you calling?"
"Can't I call you if I so desire?"
Naruto thought he heard a sigh before the reply came. There was an underlying tone of hurt on Sasuke's voice. Naruto wanted to slap himself because of that.
"No, no! It's fine. I was just surprised."
A hearty chuckle resonated and Naruto actually felt relieved.
"Good to hear that. I'm calling to inform you that I'm coming on Friday and the place you chose is perfect."
The blond's heart leap. It's really happening.
"Yeah? You should have just sent me a message. I know you're a busy man."
"I told you Naruto, I'll always make time for you..."
Naruto felt his breath hitched. God fucking damn it! He's really acting like a school girl now.
"...and I'm looking forward to it. If I can move the days, I want Friday to come sooner. Too bad it's only Wednesday. I can't wait to see you."
Has Sasuke been this smooth talker back then? Naruto didn't know whether to face-palm or feel giddy. He coughed to stable his voice.
"Uh, I was thinking that Friday's the best. End of the week and we can at least forget work the next day. But if you're working on Saturday, we can mov—"
Naruto wasn't almost finished with what he's saying when Sasuke interrupted him swiftly.
"There's no need for that. I told you that I wanted it sooner. If you can move it, move it tonight."
The blond almost choked on his spit. Is Sasuke on drugs? It's so out of the man's character to be that demandingly cheesy or so he feels yet he can't deny that it made him feel oh-so special.
"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I am swamped with work and I know you are as well. Another couple of days won't hurt us. I want to make sure you're accustomed to the fact that we'll be seeing each other to talk about the past, of our situation."
Silence has passed before Sasuke has his reply.
"Naruto, I have never wanted anything more than to talk to you and explain things. I want to pay for all those years that I caused you pain. Please, don't ever think that I'll waver. I want this as much as I need air to breathe."
Naruto's throat suddenly constricted. How can he ever think that their situation didn't affect Sasuke as much as it did to him?
"...I understand. I want to hear your side so badly, Sasuke. I can never emphasize it more than I can say. Let us wait until Friday and then there I hope everything will be lightened up between us."
Naruto thought he heard a sharp intake of breath and then Sasuke's voice, tinged with relief and contentment, if a little breathless was all he can hear.
"Thank you, thank you, Naruto."
No more words to be said as they ended the call. Everything of it now depends on the outcome of their impending meeting.
-SCoH-
Naruto knew the moment he opened his eyes that the day will be life-changing. Whether he'll come to terms with what he is expecting to hear or be surprised at the facts, it will result the same. He can never look at Sasuke the same way he has been all those years they were apart, all those years that he believed on the truth he chose to hear. Subconsciously, he chose to wear his best suit; not to impress but to boost his self-confidence. He worked through the entire day with enthusiasm and positivity. Even with the amount of work he has to do, nothing can dampen his mood. Sasuke has sent at least four messages saying that he's going and that he's looking forward to the night. As if Naruto isn't fazed enough that his heart kept beating so fast whenever he thinks of it.
They have decided to meet at seven, hence at exactly five Naruto was already making his way out of the building. He decided to go home earlier even though the place isn't far off from his house. He needs a bit of time to soothe his nerves. Although it didn't help him much that his old man has kept on pestering him ever since he mentioned that he'll be meeting with Sasuke. He found himself being teased while he was waiting to go.
"All prepared for tonight? Have you gone over your speech? Don't forget your tissues! And condoms, my boy! I have an entire box here if you need it."
Naruto didn't know whether to grit his teeth, throw the nearest vase at his grandfather or hide his now flushing face in his hands. It might be better to run to his room and bury himself on his comforter. Really, there's nothing to hold the old pervert back.
"Shut up, you perv! We're not going to do anything than talk! You and your stupid dirty mind."
Jiraiya gave a laugh. "But your face says otherwise. Blushing at this age Naruto? I think we're in the same page here."
"Damn. There's no helping you!"
"Well my dear boy, this is how I snagged all those women when I was your age. It still works these days, you know."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "I don't need to hear that."
The older man chuckled and slid a cup of tea in front of the blond, as he took a seat across his grandson. "Drink. It'll help to ease your mind. Don't over think things. Just stick to what you feel and what you want to know. Don't forget, Sasuke will have his reasons which may not be acceptable to you but you must learn to live with it. You cannot change the past but the present and the future is always at your hands, Naruto."
The blond enjoyed the warmth of his tea for a few seconds before he heaved a sigh. "You can say some sensible things at times, old man. Thanks."
"Hah! Show some spirit kid!"
Naruto shook his head and offered a grin. He spared a glance at his watch and received a shock. "Well, looks like it's time for me to go. I don't want to have him waiting." He stood and flattened his suit. "I don't know what time we'll be finished, so don't wait for me. You can interrogate me tomorrow. And no, I'm spending the night with him is not an option." He said with conviction. He can practically hear his grandfather's mind whirling.
Before Jiraiya can retaliate, Naruto grabbed his keys and left the house. On to the reality, no turning back now.
-SCoH-
Sasuke hates to admit that he wanted to impress someone. He was never the type who gives a damn about exerting effort just because he wanted someone's attention. No he's not, because let's face it, he's already intimidating and imposing as he is without even trying. But when it comes to Naruto, he wanted the blond to take notice of him. Want those deep, blue eyes on him, want every second of Naruto's attention on him, want the blond to remember how he looks in his suit or how he confidently strides amongst high-powered people. He wanted to be on Naruto's sight and more on Naruto's mind. Maybe attention isn't what he's seeking. Maybe he's really after Naruto's heart and it's that understanding that fuels him up to be at his best form.
He came at the restaurant twenty minutes before seven. The maître d' welcomed him without asking for his reservation. Maybe Naruto has informed the staff ahead. It is of no surprise. Uchiha is a name that speaks for itself and Sasuke has long received the recognition and approval of the society, which despite being himself is very hard-earned. Sasuke was lead in a more secluded part of their booth where the lights are slightly dimmed and the sound of conversations barely carries. As soon as he was seated, a uniformed staff asked him for a drink which he declined. It will not do to drink before Naruto comes, despite that a glass or two will probably help him calm his nerves. Not more than ten minutes and he saw the person he's looking forward to see more than anyone else. He straightened his back and mentally prepared himself. Naruto was held for a moment at the reception as he chatted amicably with what seems to be the manager and was eagerly whisked to the table where Sasuke was waiting, impatiently and grudgingly as the man placed a hand on the small of the blond's back. Blue eyes locked with his and Sasuke can guarantee that both of them held their breath for a second. He stood as Naruto sauntered to their table, albeit still being guided by the unwelcomed presence of the manager. Sasuke guessed that the man is more or less ten years their senior and has an air of confidence around him. To his utter relief he didn't linger long after he gave him a small nod and a kind smile to the blond.
He turned his full and undivided attention to the man standing before him. "Naruto."
His greeting was replied by a curt nod as both of them took their seats.
"Sasuke. You're early. Have you been waiting long?"
"No. I got here a few minutes before you." As discreet as he can, Sasuke let his eyes roamed on the blond. Naruto is wearing a sharp suit that fitted him perfectly. He can see that the man has grown beautifully. His face sharper and reflects his experiences. Naruto now exudes of a man that is sure of himself and what he wants. He wonders if the Naruto he knew is lost under that maturity. He fears that the place he once held in the man's heart has been occupied by another or worse deeply buried. Just the mere thought is enough to make his heart ache.
"Thank you for coming."
Sasuke was jolt to reality as the words left the blond's mouth. Naruto has inclined his head slightly to acknowledge Sasuke.
"No. It's my pleasure to be here."
The blond offered a small smile. He opened his mouth to say something but at the same time a waiter appeared on their table.
"Would you like to order now, Sirs?" The waiter asked politely with a practiced smile.
The Uchiha almost threw the innocent man a glare for interrupting. As if anticipating it, Naruto smoothly took the situation in his hands.
"Yes please."
Naruto placed his order and looked inquiringly at the man sitting opposite of him. A gesture for asking his own preference.
Sasuke didn't even look at the menu but rather kept his eyes on Naruto. "I'll have what Mr. Uzumaki is having."
The waiter nodded, took the menu lists and left the table. The silence following the man's departure was deafening despite the low hum of voices of the other patrons conversing. Sasuke's mouth felt dry. Is it the time to open the talk or should he wait until they have eaten? It seems plausible to have them enjoy the food first before spoiling it with his tale, which is not an exciting thing, even less enjoyable. Perhaps he should wait for Naruto to broach the subject. Sasuke doesn't want to seem over eager or insensitive to the blond's feelings. Talking straight to business, more than usual, spoils the mood. He was tempted to tap his foot just to pass time.
Naruto might have been really tuned to Sasuke's way of thinking things that he foretells the dread that's creeping up on the black-haired man.
"You are not the only one feeling on edge here, Sasuke. But I would like us to enjoy the food first. After all, it is made by someone we both know."
There was a knowing smile in Naruto's lips as he said the words.
"Someone we... know?"
"Yes. You'll see."
Sasuke raised a brow but the blond didn't say anything else. He leaned a fraction towards the man sitting opposite him.
"How's your grandfather?"
The blond was clearly taken aback by the question but offered an answer.
"He's perfectly fine; being the old pervert himself." Naruto snorted as he talks of his only living relative yet it is noticeable that he's fond of the man.
"Have you met my old man, Sasuke?"
"I have. I bump shoulders with him on corporate events. Back then I was hoping to see you but it didn't turn that way. For a while I was afraid that you have chosen to do something else before I remember your words. In your letter—"
Sasuke paused to see Naruto's throat bobbed.
"—that we will meet again until your worthy, until you're the man I would be proud of."
Sasuke took a deep breath. "I have always been proud of you Naruto. Even before. You are strong unlike me and it was that fact that made ashamed of my actions in the past."
The blond blinked as he absorbed the words; Sasuke admitting his weakness, his mistake. Perhaps time has changed him and for the better it seems. He doesn't have the words to offer yet so he opted to nod his head. It was then that their food arrived, placing a temporary barrier to what's coming.
As they enjoy their meal, Naruto can't help but steal glances at the man opposite him. Sasuke Uchiha. A name that never fails to stir his heart and just looking at him sitting just across him made his heart race beneath his chest. It was both amazing and frightening. Of what he'll say, of what he will do after hearing his side.
The waiter just finished serving them coffee. Now that the meal has been out of the way, there's nothing else to do but to talk. Naruto can't bear prolonging it anymore. Placing his cup down, he looked straight into those dark eyes.
"Do you love her?"
Sasuke remained calm and collected as ever and Naruto wanted to pull his hair out. Is he the only one so affected by this? But no, Sasuke wanted this as much as he does.
"I did."
He did?
The blue eyes searched for lies, maybe of Sasuke trying to dodge the real score but he saw nothing. The dark orbs were holding his gaze, unperturbed and unabashed.
"You did. You're not together anymore?'
The blond can't help but steal a glance at the man's ring finger. Sasuke blinked and shook his head as he absentmindedly caressed the part.
"No. She's gone."
"Gone? You two are...?"
Something's not adding up and Naruto's brow constricted.
"You mean she left you or something?"
Their eyes met and Naruto saw a passing of sadness in the raven's eyes. Naruto was afraid he might have said something sensitive.
"She's been dead for years, Naruto."
"What?!"
Several heads turned to their direction but Naruto didn't think of it. He just heard something unbelievable right? How were Sasuke's wife supposed to be dead and him not knowing anything about it?
Oh.
Oh.
OH.
He refused to hear anything related to the man after his marriage. He felt betrayed back then and that was the fact that made him strive harder with work and in moving on. He never heard what happened to Sasuke after his marriage. It's not that he isn't interested. He was afraid to see that Sasuke has moved on and in the arms of another while he was still trying where to fit in.
This news of Sasuke being single again is not something he anticipated. He wanted only to hear of his reasons, of how he lived his life and if he's even a little guilty for committing himself to another. Naruto wanted closure. He wanted this dinner to be a parting of ways, leaving the baggage of their past behind but it seems that he'll be carrying more once he leave this place. He didn't know what to do with this information, a vital and perhaps a life-changing one.
"I— I didn't know. I'm... I'm sorry."
Sasuke heaved a deep sigh and held the blue eyes steadily.
"This is why I wanted us to talk. I don't want you to think I have betrayed you by marrying someone. It was more than that. Misaka, she's a dear friend. You would be surprised to know that I have managed to interact quite a bit better than before. It was you who taught me the beauty of having someone to treasure, of having friends."
There was a shadow of smile painted on the dark-haired man's lips.
"She was a daughter of an old family friend whom I only met when I was under Itachi's supervision. She reminded me of you a lot. She was always happy, selfless, a hard worker and I found myself liking her, but I didn't love her the way I love you. She was more of a family and that time I was still healing, trying to make myself a better man for you. And with her by my side, I know I have succeeded. She was an anchor. I still miss her."
Hearing Sasuke talking softly and emotionally about someone else brings pain in Naruto's heart. A moment ago, he was feeling lost, perhaps a bit elated but now his emotions are in disarray once again. He knows he doesn't have any right to feel jealous and the woman did nothing but made Sasuke happy when he was gone from the man's life, but still knowing that there's someone Sasuke treasures like a family is making Naruto feel nauseous. He wanted to berate himself, the woman is dead and he was being irrational, he knows it, yet he can't shake it off. She was there on the years that he was having problems sleeping because he kept on thinking about Sasuke. He missed out a lot of things about Sasuke and somehow he regretted his decision to exclude everything that relates to him. There's so much that he missed and he can't get them back.
Naruto gave a self-depreciating smile. "She sounds like a wonderful woman. I'm glad she's the one you married."
And truly he was glad. He means his words. Looking at the man opposite him, he saw a changed person. Perhaps Sasuke have learned how to completely trust another. Oh how he wish he can just jump into that and take him back. He glanced at Sasuke who has another rare soft smile in his lips.
"Yeah. I'm glad I did."
The slight throb of pain hit his heart again but Naruto won't acknowledge it. Or that's what he thought. Before he can stop himself, a question of great weight blurted out from him.
"Was she a replacement then?"
Confusion passed in Sasuke's eyes before it dawn to him. There was a hint of pleading in his eyes.
"Never. She was never a competition, Naruto. You know full well that I have only ever loved one person, a man at that. And that's you. There was no other."
Naruto gritted his teeth. He was torn. Sasuke's words were like a balm to soothe the pain in his heart but at the same moment, those words also hurt him deeply. The man must have sensed his emotions and he asked so very gently.
"You don't trust me?"
"I— I..."
The blond tresses swayed as Naruto shook his head. He trusts Sasuke with his life but why is it so hard to say that he trust him? The years that passed seem to flash before him. The incident on that girl— Sakura's house, Sai and him naked on the former's bedroom, Sasuke trembling in rage, accusing him. All of those were like needles that are prickling his heart. And most of all, how Sasuke ended up everything between them. How the man crushed his heart. How he insulted his love for him. Naruto knew he's well past behind those but it won't ever be forgotten and that is what holding him back. What if Sasuke is as insecure as before? Yes, they have matured but certain scars never fade completely.
"Trust isn't an easy word to throw away Sasuke. We both know that. What happened back then was an eye opener. You have to admit it. You doubt my love. My mistake was to put my entire faith in you, leaving me vulnerable but that was what my love was all about before. I thought you have been past that hurdle of being so quick to judge people just because your father betrayed your family. It didn't work out the way I thought it would be."
The black-haired man clenched his jaws. The words of Naruto hurt him even if they bore the truth. He wanted another chance. He's been working for it all these years. He needed to prove to him that he has changed and he will do everything to have him back in his arms. To earn his trust once again and to make him happy. The blue eyes were looking through him and Sasuke saw the emotions that are beneath the beauty of them.
Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I have to confess that I have not been fully honest with you. I thought when you got married it was the ultimate proof that you have no longer feelings toward me; that I have been forgotten, just a part of the past that you would rather forget. I thought maybe you will always want to have a woman beside you, to prove to the world that you are... not like your father. If I only did reach out to you but I'm not regretting it. Look at you, you're a man of the world Sasuke and I am proud of how far you've become."
But despite those words, Naruto smiled sadly at him.
"But I cannot just jump to your arms like nothing happened. With all those years that we're without each other, I have learned a lot. I trust you but I don't trust you not to commit the same mistake again."
Sasuke almost choked at the words. Panic started to bubble on his stomach. He won't let things be this way.
"Naruto, I admit that it was my fault and I have never regretted anything more than my hasty decision to hurt you. I don't want this to sound that I'm defending myself or my actions. Yes, I have been a fool, a coward. I was terribly afraid to be hurt again and despised by the people around me. I know that was stupid and I can never change how I acted before but I am not the same person anymore. When I lost you, I knew then that nothing ever matters and that my happiness was with you. I don't care about what others think of me. I am not living to please anyone. I have learned that the hard way, without you beside me. I can't justify my actions but please, won't you give me another chance? I thought this was what both of us wanted. Let me prove myself to you."
Naruto wanted nothing more than to agree and let Sasuke take him away; just the two of them together like before but there are a lot of things holding him back now. They have to start building their relationship, not entirely as lovers but as friends as the first step to everything. They have to acquaint to each other's presence until they are comfortable enough and brave enough to face all their fears without coiling inside themselves to run away from it. They have to fully trust each other to give way to a much deeper bond. But—
"I am dating Gaara."
To be continued...
A/N: Okay, so that seems a bit fragmented to me. Please tell me if I forgot to touch some matters that are needed to be explored. Thanks for reading. Reviews?