"Alex?"
"Alex~, can you hear me?"
"Are you ignoring me?"
"ALEX~!"
Alex felt her eyebrow twitch in irritation. The two was wandering around the forest after the whole catnapping situation. Currently, Alex was ignoring the obnoxious cat-man who was getting the hint that she was ignoring him. What does he think she is currently doing? Being deaf?
"Oh no! Alex has gone deaf!"
Alex facepalmed, the narrator had rest her case.
Before long, they reached a fairly large, red tree with gigantic roots coming out of it. Many signs were nailed onto it with arrows pointing in various directions. Some said up, down, this way, that way, death, left, right, and happiness, but there were still much more.
What kind of signs are these? Alex thought. They're not helpful at all… Better yet, I'm starting to hate signs just by looking at them.
"There are so many signs," Canada said, poking the 'up' sign. The poor sign flopped to the ground causing the both of them to stare blankly at it. Alex then glared at Canada, obviously blaming him for the murder of the inanimate object.
"Now, there's one less. Great job, Canada," Alex said sarcastically.
"Alex, are you mad at me?"
"What~? No~," she stressed, smiling sweetly, "But I would appreciate it if you checked out the death path for me, please~."
Canada shivered, looking as though someone stole Sir Meows-a-lot from him, "B-B-But," His eyes noticed another sign, "I know! How about we go down The Path that Oozes Sex Appeal instead?"
Alex cringed and gave Canada a 'What in the world is wrong with you' look, then an 'Are you freaking nuts' look, followed by an 'I can't believe I haven't killed you yet' look. She then had a hopeful thought, maybe it wouldn't be that bad of an idea to go down that path. She might find some hunky, muscular men to entertain her. Better yet, Sir Meows-a-lot could appear, oozing sex appeal which she could then use to distract that thing-she quickly glanced at the cat-from her.
She pretended to sag her shoulders and gave a fake sigh, "Sure, have it your way."
The two of them made their way down the path. One of them is excited, the other one, anxious. In Alex's mind, she pictured dozens of half-naked men frolicking out of the trees, showering her with affection. Alex quickly wipe away any drool before Canada could notice. Stuck in her fantasy, she didn't realize that Canada was skipping around her like a little girl.
"Sir Meows-a-lot~! Sir Meows-a-lot, our love for you shines bright like the scales of a sweet, succulent sockeye salmon."
Alex felt her lip twitched, her train of thought breaking for a second before she recovers it.
Just keep thinking of those juicy muscles, Alex. She told herself.
"Salmon~! Salmon~! Oh sockeye salmon!"
Those juicy, red, piece of flesh that you could just sink your teeth into-wait, what?!
"Canada! I!" Alex quickly took a deep breath, forcing down her anger. "I'm fine," she quietly said, "It's… okay."
"Listen Alex, I know a song about love! I sing it all the time to Sir Meows-a-lot!" Canada yelled.
"Oh god…" The idea of Canada singing struck fear into Alex.
"I'm going to sing it! It's in French though, so I'll translate it into English for you, okay?" Canada bopped her nose.
He touched her nose…
Alex's nose…
Her nose!
Canada had invaded Alex's territory once again! He had dared to bopped her nose, her nose!
All of the rage Alex has been holding in spewed out like a volcano. Alex's eyes turned red with fury and she immediately pounced at the cat-man. Unfortunately, she missed. Canada was surprisingly nimble for once as he skillfully and merrily skipped out of the way of Alex's amateur attacks.
He further irritates her by starting to sing, "Love is a rebellious bird that no one can tame,"
Alex got back up and continued trying to attack the cat-man.
"And you call him quite in vain if it suits him not to come."
Alex's hand would always skim the surface of Canada's clothing before he twirled out of her reach.
"Nothing helps, neither threat nor prayer. One man talks well, the other keeps quiet."
"YOUR SINGING SUCKS! STOP SCREECHING YOU CAT!" Alex roared and reached for his ears. Again, she barely grasped it.
"It's the other one that I prefer, he's said nothing, but I like him." Canada stopped skipping and paused.
Alex found it to be the perfect opportunity and so she lunged forward.
"Love! Love! Love- Alex landed on top of the poor cat-man sending both of them down. Canada's last lyric came out as a yowl. "LOVE!"
Alex was on Canada, pinning him down. Her breathing was heavy as she panted, "I've-finally-caught you."
Canada squealed as a blush blossomed his face and he squirmed, but he couldn't get past Alex's grip. Alex's eyebrow quirked curiously at Canada before she was struck with realization. She narrowed her eyes into a glare.
"You perverted cat..." Alex growled darkly. Alex was about to rip that beating organ, along with his baby maker into shreds when suddenly something reached their ears. They both paused and looked at each other in confusion, their previous predicament shortly forgotten. It was a nice male voice… singing. In fact, it was continuing Canada's song.
"L'amour est enfant de bohème; il n'a jamais, jamais, connu de loi. Si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime, et si je t'aime, prends garde à toi!"
It was a beautiful and divine accent. It even brought a smile to Alex's face.
"Mais si je t'aime, si je t'aime, prends garde à toi"
The singing stopped and Alex got off of Canada and immediately clapped. She scanned the forest, wanting to find the lovely voice.
"I'm right here, mademoiselle." A husky voice spoke.
Alex followed the voice to a tree to see a handsome man with shoulder-length blonde hair and romantic blue eyes. He had a bit of facial hair which made him seem slightly older than Alex and Canada. He was wearing a sleeveless purple striped shirt and black very short shorts for a man. He has a purple collar with a lilac bell around his neck. He was wearing long purple boots and just like Canada, he has cat ears and a tail. Different from Canada, his tail and ears are striped, purple and slightly curlier and better than Canada's. He was fashionable.
She clasped her hands to her chest as she breathlessly spoke, "My muscle man…?"
The stranger jumped down from the tree and placed a finger under Alex's chin. Using that finger he lifted her face up to his. "I think you meant to say, ton Malabar? (A/N: "Muscle man" in French. A literal translation.)"
"Yes…whatever that is."
He lifted her face closer, if that was even possible. "Ma cherie, what caused you to follow down this route? Perhaps you saw the sign and were hoping to meet someone like me?"
Alex smiled dreamily. She prefers this cat over Canada.
"I got what I wished for," she smiled.
The man smiled, "I'm Cheshire, but you can call me France, and if you want I can lead you out of this forest…" He winked, "And to many other wondrous places too."
Alex knew what he was implying with the last part, but she didn't care. Anything to be rid of her current companion was fine with her.
"Actually," Canada said, forcefully splitting them apart. "I'm already escorting Alex."
France glared at Canada with a disgusted look. He looked him up and down and let out a small, amused chuckle.
"Ma Cherie, or should I say Alex, you should ditch this loser and follow me instead."
"Okay!" Alex immediately chirped, nodding and gave France a cute smile, "Okay."
Canada's heart shattered as his face transformed into a silent scream, similar to that famous scream painting.
Alex and France strolled down the path arm in arm while Canada trotted behind them. His status had been reduced to a lowly third-wheel at this point.
Alex would occasionally rest her head on France's shoulder and every time she does, France would look over his shoulder and stick his tongue out at Canada. This pissed Canada off so much that he tore Alex off of France and started a fight.
"Stay away from Alex, you French beast!"
France laughed, "Beast, me? As-tu te regardes dans le miroir?"
Canada looked taken back, "What'd you say?"
France rolled his eyes, "I said have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Obviously with that bushy old tail and hideous outfit you clearly are the beast."
Alex swooned, "My knight, my very hunky knight."
"My tail is a nicer colour!" Canada yelled.
"Beige? That is so last season. Haven't you heard? Purple stripes are the new beige."
"Well, my sweater is comfier!"
"That may be," France smiled, "But by going sleeveless, my muscles are clearly visible."
He started to flex them, causing Alex to sigh.
Tears started to line the edge of Canada's eyes. "I love Alex more!"
"Well, I hate you." Alex replied bluntly causing Canada's eyes to flood.
"B-B-BUT Alex~, what about all the good times we had together?"
"What good times?"
"Alex!"
"Now then," France said, stepping between the two, "Will my lady like to follow me down this suspicious, dark, path?"
Her conscious was telling her to not follow the stranger, but she was too dazed by his charms to deny him. Like a little kid, she followed the stranger who offered her sweet eye candy.
"Alex~! No~! Didn't your mom tell you to not to follow stranger down dark, suspicious paths?!" Canada shouted, chasing them as the three disappeared into the dark path.