Authors note: I decided to go ahead and get right into some rated M material. Be warned….
Chapter 3: Addiction
The second copy of the essay was finished quite quickly, which gave Hermione some down time. She hated downtime since she started thinking about how much Draco's words caused her pain. She tried so many times to ignore his comments, threats and insults; however she couldn't help herself to wonder if he was right about her. Maybe she was worthless, ugly, and mudblood filth.
These thoughts starting building, and Hermione's chest began to hurt. She could feel that need, that want, to do the one thing that made her feel better. Her breathing got heavier with excitement, her heart started to race, and like a person with an addiction to drugs, she got up to go to the bathroom.
She looked at herself in the mirror, and barely recognized the person looking back at her. The once strong, steady, dependable Hermione Granger was gone; in her place was this thing. She disgusted herself.
Hermione walked to the tub, turned the nob right for hot, and watched as the water started to fill the tub. She waited until the tub was half full and began removing her clothes. She was skinny; she knew this, but food just stopped tasting good, so she ate only when she was really hungry. However it was not the thinness anyone should care about, it was what she did in the tub that really mattered, it was also really demeaning.
It started about a month ago when Draco made a remark towards her about how no one would ever fuck her unless they were raping her because she was a mudblood. She never thought his words would cause this addiction.
Hermione thought it felt good. The pain was laced in pleasure; it made her feel like she was an explosion of blinding white stars. She was using one hand to touch herself, roaming her thighs, her stomach, and lightly teasing herself were a man had never been before. While the other controlled her wand which was cutting shallow cuts across her breasts. She cried of course as she did it, how disgusting this would seem to another person. She was a freak, and the only two things that made her feel better was; self-mutilation and masturbation. It was not until recently that she had to do both at once to really ignore the pain that was wrecking her mind. To make everything worse she had to think about Draco Malfoy raping her in order to get off, it was the most degrading thing a person could think of. The thought of him just today, throwing her to the ground, using stupefy on her where she was unable to move, was making her body have shudders of need. She thought about how easy it would have been to drag her to an empty classroom, remove her clothing, and rape her right there.
So close. I need more pain, more hate, more of him.
As Hermione was getting closer to her release, she took her wand and turned a bar of soap into a piece of rope. The rope was magically tied to the faucet, and she put it around her neck. She magically made the rope pull on her so that she was chocking, but leaving her wand hand free to do other things. She took her wand hand and dug her nails deep into the skin under her ear. She dragged it down her neck, between her breasts, over her belly, and then between her thighs were she left it there to grab at the inside of her legs, causing her to bleed from neck to thigh. The chocking added to the experience of her having a twisted fantasy of being raped by that man. She wanted him to punish her like she deserved.
"You filthy mudblood whore, you are worthless" Draco said to her in her thoughts as one of his hands wrapped around her neck. The other hand was left to abusing her body, like daggers his nails rolled over her smooth skin. She was pressed against a wall, legs spread, skirt lifted up and panties pushed to the side. The buttons of her shirt were undone, her breasts in the open propped up on her bra. He was pounding in to her, so hard, so fast. She could almost feel the cold stone of the walls on her breasts as they were being rubbed raw against the wall.
"You want this, you like this" Draco said as he slammed her head into the wall, and push her to the ground. He put her on her stomach, and grabbed her hips pulling her towards his cock. He slammed into her, blood rolling down her thigh onto the ground as he destroyed her body with thrust after thrust. He reached for her hair, rolled it up like a piece of rope, and pulled it back hard. You could hear a "click", and He brought a knife to her throat, the cold of it sending shivers through her body and just when he was about to slit her throat….
Hermione's body tensed, and relaxed as she came to the release she was looking for. As soon as she was about to pass out from lack of oxygen she released the charm on the conjured rope. She was breathing heavy, she was shaking, and then she started to sob to herself. There was something so very wrong with her for doing this to herself.