Chapter 4

Age had hidden the features Anakin should have recognized instantly. The person who had begun to fit into Anakin's mold of big brother and father had, for lack of better words, degraded. The vibrancy of Obi-Wan's soul had become a slow current of regret mixed with sorrow and Anakin wanted to cry at the feeling of it- as it was, he shook terribly, his unsteady legs leading him to collapse along the wall of the freighter.

Leia and Luke both reached for him but it was the ol- no, Obi-Wan, who caught him. At the instant, instinctually, their presences reached out and touched. The Force blazed like a hot and uncontrollable fire, managing to push away the sluggish and poisoned Dark tint away for a time. Time convalesced at the focal point of their energies and for a second, an eternity, Anakin basked in a story whose tale was as fragmented and incomplete as the man who narrated it.

Images materialized and floated away from Anakin's fingers as he chased after them; figments and shards of light were the most accurate descriptions of them despite the contradiction in that they held darkness within them. Emotions flowed as he opened his being as a conduit. Feelings he had never felt before were burning him, their intensity akin to a shot of pure alcohol laden with melted lead as the pure human aspect of it left him grieving.

Passion, love, sorrow, and anger. Regret, pride, emptiness and joy. Every base sentiment and their complement was presented to him and…Force, was it all a mistake.

Obi-Wan had managed to live with all this for so long and Anakin drowned in it during the fleeting seconds he was under its influence. His Jedi Master had made decisions that still haunted him to this day and while he was convinced they were thoughtless, Anakin disagreed and couldn't help but feel hurt by the admission at the same time.

Decisions were never thoughtless since they always required consideration; whether the decision was carefully pondered over was another matter entirely but Obi-Wan had always made do with what he had at hand and the situations that had presented themselves to the then young and newly named Jedi Knight were alternatives on their own.

How could his older brother and father-figure ever regret taking Anakin on as an apprentice?

And was Anakin correct in thinking that Darth Vader was his future rather than an alternate life? No possibility before had ever been as turbulent and strong on his physique as this one and that usually meant bad things according to the texts in the Archives had mentioned. A strong alternate reality allowed the Time-Walker to observe as a bystander, often letting the bystander do nothing more than to simply observe. From what Anakin had witnessed, this was more than a strong alternate reality- this was his future.

As he thought, Anakin felt the weight of Obi-Wan's unwilling projections as if they were literal bags of sand and the young Padawan knew it was time to withdraw and meditate upon what he had seen. Only then would he be able to correctly draw judgment and decided what he was required to do…what he was allowed to feel.

If Obi-Wan of all people had second thoughts about Anakin, then the Padawan had to take some wisdom from that; no matter how much it hurt him.

So, reluctant and slightly scared, Anakin attempted to relax, running his hands through his slightly wet hair in an attempt to imitate both his mother's form of comfort as well as Obi-Wan's. With his heartbeat slowing down steadily, his courage rose and Anakin opened his eyes.

Master Obi-Wan was looking at him from over Leia's shoulder and for the life of him, Anakin could not understand why the old man looked confused.

Given that the unexpected rescue became more than a simple rescue, Leia felt compelled to withdraw into a more private setting to regain her bearings. Vader's presence had drained her of her energy more than she was willing to admit and she needed time to recover- or rather, attempt to do so.

To be on the safe side, she also took poor Ani with her, who was looking as if his entire world had been turned upside down and frankly, she could relate. Besides, he was just a poor child stuck in this mess without even committing anything to deserve it. The least she could do was protect him as best as she could until they arrived to the nearest Rebel base and then he would be evaluated and taken in or sent somewhere safer depending on the verdict.

Still, she couldn't help but review her thoughts and observations on the earlier proceedings.

Ani knew Kenobi and strangely enough, Kenobi recognized the young boy and very well, judging by the reactions of both parties upon realizing each other's identities. But there was more to it than just that; there was heartbreak and something very dark and ugly forming a chasm between these two and she was hesitant in revealing what it was exactly.

She had other things on her plate. Things like dealing with the Rebels now that the force had lost a pivotal ally in the effort. They had to organize better now, find a better base… find more suppliers too. Kuat would only provide for so long before the operations could no longer be hidden under the table anymore. Something had to happen and fast.

Perhaps that was what she had felt when she met both Ani and the duo of wannabe heroes. Something was going to happen but it would be too fast to be comfortable. Change hardly was every anticipated and appreciated. Especially with the Empire's new horror weapon. If the Rebel Alliance was to survive, it had to either adapt or take advantage of the momentary lapses where the Empire lost track of them.

Anakin very rarely lived in the real world, he found, much to his chagrin. He was hesitant to approach the real path because he was very much aware of the fragility of it and he recognized how precious it was. It was the main reason why he delved into the Force like he did; he didn't want to chance anything and the last thing he wanted was to commit a mistake so grave, it would undo the foundations of his existence to the very core.

He was afraid of change and he would always be, if this continued.

Gardulla had always been so smug and so cruel and he reflected that perhaps it was because more than anything, she had been aware of the effect she would continue to have, even if he was well out of her hands. Say what you wanted about the Hutts, dumb they weren't and their empire of crime was proof of that. The scars left behind, the ones on his skin and on his soul, continued to itch and no matter what, they would always whisper dark little lies into his ears to a degree that he had unintentionally begun believing them.

It wasn't as if he wanted to degrade himself. It was just that it was so easy to believe Gardulla when all she had said was the truth. Ignoring the fact that who he had been was no more, who he was now was a byproduct of who he had been and he could easily place himself in the past and bow his head as the accusations to his self flew at him.

Obi-Wan distrusted him. Obi-Wan feared the Anakin he could be. Gardulla's muddy brown and very evil eyes had been replaced by brilliant blue ones; eyes that accused.

It would be so easy to deny the probability that this would be his future but the calling was so strong. The more time he spent on the matter, the more he became convinced this wasn't a reality he could detach himself from if anything ever became too much.

Anakin missed his mother. He missed her so much, the imagined phantoms he conjured of her image were of no help. But his mother was gone- she always was. So strong a role she played in his upbringing that every time he lost her, every time without fail, Anakin was destroyed bit by bit. No alternate self of his ever went through her death unscathed. He still remembered that instance when he was forced mute and blind after heavy trauma when she was murdered right in front of him.

Perhaps Darth Vader had been formed from the ashes of Shimi's corpse.

"Ani?"

Leia's voice had a strange effect on him, he noticed. She could ground him, no matter how far gone he was. She was like a beacon of Ashla and Boga's essences together.

"M-Miss Leia? Wha-what's wrong?"

Miss Leia smiled kindly if not a bit worriedly and her forehead had crinkles. "I think it's me who should be asking that. Are you alright? You and Kenobi…you've met, right?"

Anakin frowned, looking over her shoulder to avoid falling for the supplication in her eyes. She wanted to help but he wasn't sure how to tell her anything. "I… I don't know Miss Leia. I-I thought I d-did. Th-things always change a-and I'm n-not s-sure I like it."

In the Force, one was always so connected with Life and Leia's bitterness as no exception. Bitterness tasted like rancid nuts and spoiled bantha milk and he hated to associate those particular perceptions to her so he shook his head and said, "M-Miss L-Leia? What w-will happen to me?"

Her reply was hesitant and unsure. "I don't know." He deflated, knowing that for him, it was likely that the only way out of this existence was to find the source of the problems and deal with it. He was saved from spiraling into deeper thoughts as Leia spoke once more, "Even so, Ani, I promise I will do anything in my power to ensure you are safe. Anything."

Touched, Anakin enjoyed how easily comforted he felt when she was with him and slowly, he allowed stirrings of hope to ignite once more. Whatever reply he wanted to make was forgotten as he slipped into sweet sleep, lulled by the gentle movement of the freighter and soothed by the warmth of the couch underneath him and the cover on him.

Meditation could wait a few more hours.

Way late but better late than never, right?

Water Creation