It's a Friday night so it takes longer for Granny's to empty out. Emma is slumped over the table of the back booth, angrily punching the call button on her phone, the wine bottle now empty.
She looks at me, her face ashen. "She won't pick up."
I don't even ask who. "Let me give you a ride home."
"I can walk." She says gruffly, pulling herself to her feet and immediately falling into the booth. Someone is not used to heels.
"Emma, being my best friend's daughter occasionally has its perks. I'm not taking no for an answer." And I heave one of her arms over my shoulder, letting her steady herself and then marching her toward the door. "Can you stay til I get back? I won't be long." I ask Belle, and she nods. "Thanks." I mouth.
Emma crawls into the slung passenger side of my low-riders and bonks the crystal wolf ornament hanging from my rearview. She leans back and looks at me, her head lolling on the seat. "Please take me by her house. Please. I have to talk to her."
"Emma, while I'm sure you don't mind getting thrown down Regina's sidewalk for the umpteenth time, I refuse to let that happen to that dress. It's too nice."
"She wouldn't." Emma then laughs a little to herself. "Okay, she definitely would." Suddenly she buries her head in her hands. "She thinks I'm ashamed of her. She thinks- but how am I supposed to tell Snow?! It was all screwed up before I even got here."
I start the car and point it towards Snow's place. "Look, Snow is absolutely right to not trust or like Regina. I mean, do I really have to give you the history lesson? Regina was a hard core killer witch in our world, and hell in this one she tried to frame your mom for murder, she's cost Snow her entire family, she-"
"Hey, I know- believe me I know-" Emma groans.
"On the other hand." I am the worst friend ever, but what I'm about to say has been digging at me a long time. "I've never seen someone love a person more than Regina loves Henry. I could always tell she was strict and had really high expectations for him, but even before you got here she was always ready to drop everything for that kid. And now she's letting him choose to spend time with your family, even though I can tell it's killing her and she could use her power to keep him with her. And that…" I gulp. "…That goes a long way to redeeming her, in my eyes." I glance over at Emma, whose own huge green eyes are a little wet. She's staring forward at the road in front of us, hugging herself tightly.
"What did you mean before, about the beanstalk thing?" Emma looks up at me, slunched down beside me, absently playing with a curl of her hair.
"I mean that tomorrow, when you've had a full night's sleep and a huge glass of water, you need to sit down Snow and ask her to explain to you her full beanstalks plan. Because Aunt Red says so."
"Why can't Aunt Red just tell me?" Emma sits up a little. Her gaze is pretty focused. She's not as light a head as I thought. "Snow and James are really 'need to know basis' about Enchanted Forest stuff."
" Did you like the Enchanted Forest when you and Snow went back there?" I change the subject as casually as I can.
"Like it? What's to like?" Emma snorts. "It's a barren wasteland full of medieval soldiers and giant killer ogres. I still have nightmares about it."
Ogres? The ogres are back? Before I can even reply I see high beams in my rearview. It's…Regina's Benz tailing us?
"What the hell?" I say, pulling over by the side of the road. Regina is stepping out of her car. The wind whips her collar against her shoulder, exposing bare collarbone. I hear Emma gulp next to me, watching Regina slink over to the car.
"I've been waiting for Miss Swan to crawl out of that diner for the last hour." Regina says imperiously, ignoring me, her eyes fastened on Emma. "We've got some unfinished business."
These two. These two freaky freak-a-deaks. I put my hand over my face.
"I don't need to hear this." I try not to laugh. I look at Emma. "Your house is one block away." Emma gives me a heartbreaking smile.
"I should probably see what the Mayor has to say to me. Might be important Sheriff business."
"I'm so sure." I call after her. She's already hopping out of her side of the car, and I see her try and smoothly navigate the road with her heels- pretty smooth work, for a drunk newbie, I have to admit. In the red glow of my taillights I watch Regina sternly take her arm, her eyes fastened to Emma's red skirt that's riding up far above her knees. Emma's smile is coming back, her cheeks are bright pink. Their hearts are going like the feet of racehorses. I can feel the heat crackle between them. Regina's trenchoat buckle is not long for this world, I think to myself.
"You wore a dress." I hear Regina whisper. Through my car window. Over the wind. Wolf ears. I can't help it! Okay, I was listening a little.
"You asked me to." Emma's voice is thick and throaty.
I drive back to Granny's feeling slightly flustered, wondering if they'll even make it back to Regina's before the atomic sexual atmosphere I just witnessed takes over. As I approach the still lit-up door, I see Belle sitting at a sparkling counter, a book in her lap. She looks up and smiles when she sees me.
"Hey!" she hops up, her eyes sparkling, and it fully registers how lovely she looks in the soft blue of her white lacy t-shirt over her short jean skirt. Dessert smells waft from her, vanilla, rum, frosting. I want to grab her and eat her up- in the figurative sense. It's hard to restrain myself this close to a full moon from just grabbing her in my arms and kissing her neck, her throat, her smile. I put the counter between us and count up the till, forcing myself to think about numbers.
"I want you so badly its killing me." Belle says, and I whip around, startled.
She's holding the note, reading aloud, a playful smile on her face. "Pretty juicy stuff, huh? Guess where I found it."
My hand covers my mouth. Good thing she can't hears heartbeats because mine is chugging right now.
"Back booth. Crumpled up with the napkins. I don't know whose handwriting is whose but…" she lets out a low whistle. "It's a shame they left things on such terrible terms."
"Actually, they might be making up right now. Regina sort of intercepted us on the way home."
"NO!" Belle looks ecstatic.
"And I'm pretty sure she was naked under that trench coat."
Belle hops from foot to foot in a circle, making "squee" noises and giggling laciviously. Um, is she aware the effect this has on her figure? For a moment I can NOT look away. Not this close to a full moon Belle, please don't jump up and down near me this close to a full moon.
"Thanks for staying by the way." I look away at the nice, square, unsexy, un-bouncing tiles. "But if you want to head out I can finish up here."
"Aw come on, its Friday. Let's have some fun, can't we? Enjoy the nightlife?" Belle hops up on a stool and leans into me, her eyes as blue as summer sky. Frosting. She definitely has handled frosting recently. She must have snuck a fingerful of it because the smell seems to be coming directly from her lips.
" There's nothing doing in Storybrooke. Why do you think everyone comes here night after night after night?" I roll my eyes. "It's not just the pie. It's because we're the only 'nightlife' going in town."
Belle cocks her head to one side. "Well, how would you feel about…just like, going on a drive? I haven't really seen a lot since leaving the hospital."
Belle wants me to sit next to her in my low rider and drive her around? This close to a full moon? I can feel my hands shaking already. "I don't know…" I say uneasily.
Belle looks slightly embarrassed and picks her book off the counter. "You're right, it is pretty late. And I'm supposed to meet with Archie early in the morning. Well, I'll see you tomorrow." Her cheeks are turning bright pink. I can tell from the shift of her energy that she's super embarassed. I picture mounting the stairs to my room with Granny's snores wafting from the living room, the quiet blare of the TV bathing her in blue light. Belle is pulling on her jacket, her red face averted from mine.
"You know what, let's do it." I snap the till closed. "Let's live a little, Belle."
Belle's eyes flare open. She looks up at me, excited again.
"I'll put together a little picnic basket and we'll take a night drive." I say, and smile at her, I hope not too hungrily.