Thanks for the feedback! I will try and update soon :)
Luke woke with a jolt, his heart was racing and he was sweating from head to toe. He groaned and looked over to see that Lorelai was still fast asleep beside him. He quietly pulled himself out of bed and walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He quickly stripped down, climbed in and stood under the scalding hot water and tried to relax.
For the last three days he had been having dreams where he faced Christopher again. In each dream no one was there to stop him when he wrapped his hands around his neck. He got pleasure out of watching the panic on Christopher's face, the way it turned white and then blue. And he loved the moment when he knew that the life had left his body for good. He huffed and slammed the tiled wall behind him to try and get the image from his mind.
He heard the bathroom door creak open and he knew who it was, "Luke...it's 4:30 in the morning. You aren't going work are you?"
Luke didn't answer, he rinsed his body and turned off the water. He heard Lorelai rummaging around for a towel, she held it out to him as he opened the curtain. She was sitting up on the sink watching him carefully as he ran the towel through his hair and then wrapped it around his waist. He sighed as he climbed out of the shower and just stood in front of her.
She frowned softly and touched his thigh with her toes gently, "Talk to me…"
He cocked his head back towards the bedroom and she followed him. She sat on the window seat overlooking the lake and waited as he put on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He plopped down beside her and put a hand on her upper thigh where he began to trace patterns.
"Luke…" She whispered as she put her hand over his, "I know you are concerned about Rory and I seeing him today...but we're going to be fine. I promise."
Luke nodded slowly, "I know...I know you will. But...I keep having these dreams."
She scooted closer to him and pulled her legs up under her, "Dreams? About what? Something happening to me and Rory?"
He shook his head, "No...about me killing him. About that night we found Jack...in the dreams no one is around to stop me. And I just wrap my hands around his neck...and he's just staring up at me in total panic. And I can't stop...and then he's just gone...and I'm standing out in the woods with his dead body."
Lorelai's eyes were wide as she stared at him in total shock, "Luke…"
"It's scaring me." Luke whispered as he pulled his hand away from her and put his head in his hands, "I can usually control myself...but when it comes to him I can't Lorelai. I can't. I fucking hate him."
"I know…" She whispered as she leaned into him, "But Luke-"
"Even before all of this crap...I'm not the kind of guy that gets into fist fights Lorelai. But I got such satisfaction from hitting that bastard. And quite honestly I'd like to do it again…" He said looking back at her, "What he did...to you to Jack...to all of us. It makes me sick and I want him to pay for it...and I can't control that rage…"
Lorelai swallowed hard and placed a hand on his cheek, "Look at me…"
It took him a moment, but he finally turned his face to look at her, "Lorelai…"
"I love you. You are so much more than my husband...you are my best friend and partner. I trust you with my life...with our family. We have been through so much together...even before we became an us." She held his face in her hands to make sure he stared at her, "You are feeling this way because you are angry...and I understand that. But I know you Luke...I know you. And you are not that man...you are not violent or aggressive. You are good...and kind. This isn't you...it's your pain...and you have to find a way deal with it or it's going to eat you alive."
He sighed and leaned forward to rest his head against her chest, "I don't want to be that guy...the violent one. That's what's scaring me…"
She ran her hands through his damp hair and held him close, "I know. I can see it...but Luke, Chris is in jail. He's not getting out again...We are going to make sure of that. And you can't let him get to you like this. We have such a good life...don't let him ruin anymore of it."
Luke closed his eyes and breathed her in, "I just...I wanted him to feel the pain that we felt."
"I know…" She whispered as she leaned down to kiss his head, "I get it. But we need you here Luke...I need you."
"I don't know what to do…" Luke whispered softly, "What do I do?"
"We need to keep going to counseling...I'll go with you or you can go alone. I'll do whatever you need me to do Luke. You aren't alone in this. And I love you so much for wanting to protect us...for defending us. But we need to find a way through this and we will." She said as she continued to massage his scalp.
"Lorelai?" He whispered softly.
"Yes?" She whispered back.
He turned so he was lying on his back and he was staring up at her as he rested his head in her lap, "I love you…."
She smiled, sat him up and began to walk back to the bed, "I love you too. Come back to bed…"
"Lorelai I'm so tired…" He whispered softly.
She nodded and pulled the blankets down, "I know...I just want to lie with you for awhile. Just be us...you and me."
He smiled as she climbed into the bed and patted the space beside her, he climbed in and lay down before pulling her up against him. She breathed him in, kissed his chest, his neck and finally his lips and whispered words of love and encouragement. Luke relaxed and let himself fall asleep, and for the first time in days he didn't have any nightmares.
Later that afternoon, the Danes family packed up and drove to Richard and Emily's house in Hartford. It was a very warm September day and Luke was going to spend the day around the pool with the kids and Emily while Lorelai, Rory and Richard visited the prison. They unpacked the car and headed toward the backyard where Jack was excited to go swimming.
"You call us as soon as you are finished." Emily said with a stern look as she stared at her husband and daughter, "And you don't let that snake get to you...do you hear hear me? Whatever he has to say to you goes in one ear and out the other...he's worthless."
Lorelai smiled and leaned forward to hug her Mom, "We're going to be just fine. Try and enjoy the day with the kids...we'll be back before you know it."
Emily nodded slowly, "Good. Good. I'm going to get snacks for the kids because if I stay around here before you leave I'll come up with a million excuses for you to stay."
Lorelai smiled and watched her walk away before she felt a hand on her lower back, she turned and saw Luke staring at her with a nervous smile, "Hey…" He whispered.
She smiled and leaned up to caress his face gently, "Hey...you okay?"
He frowned slightly and leaned into her touch, "Sad…"
She nodded slowly and leaned forward to kiss his lip, "I'll be back soon. And we'll be one step closer to putting this all behind us."
He nodded and pulled her by her hips so she was up against his body, "Last time you went to see him in prison...I thought I'd die. And now both of my Gilmore Girls are going...and I feel even more scared."
She sighed and rested her forehead against his, "We need to do this Luke…"
"I know." He said as he pulled away to look at her face, "Just...be safe. Okay? And come home...right away."
She smiled and gave him a quick nod, "You know last time we went through this...I came home and you proposed."
Luke chuckled a little, "You asking me to propose again?"
She smiled and shook her head, "No...but in case you were wondering the answer would be the same as it was then."
"Good. That's good…" Luke whispered as he leaned forward to kiss her.
She kissed him softly and gave him a reassuring smile, "I love you."
He took a deep breath and nodded his head slowly, "I love you too."
She squeezed his hand, walked over to Elise, April and Jack and said her goodbyes. Then she took Rory's hand and they followed Richard back to the front of the house. They climbed into his car and drove off towards the prison. The ride was mostly a silent one, Richard occasionally asked questions about anything that didn't have to do with Christopher just to pass the time.
When they got there, Rory and Lorelai held hands as they walked in and waited patiently. They went through the necessary procedures to be checked in were given instructions not to touch the inmate and then lead to a room. Richard and their lawyer walked in first and then Rory and Lorelai followed and sat down quietly. The room was empty still, Christopher wasn't there yet.
Rory's hand started to shake, Lorelai reached under the table and took both hands in one of hers and gave her a smile. Her daughter seemed to relax, but only until the buzzer sounded and Christopher was led into the room by two guards. He had his orange jump suit on, his hair was long and tangled, he had a beard and large bags under his eyes. He didn't seem to be able to actually look at them as he was lead to his seat, he stared only at the table never daring to lift his head.
They were silent for a moment, no one knew what to say or who should go first. Lorelai glanced at Rory and saw the pain and shock etched on her face and it broke her heart. She knew in this moment she needed to be the strong one. She gave Rory's hand a squeeze and then opened her mouth to speak but suddenly Christopher's voice had filled the room.
"I am so sorry." He said quickly, "I don't even know how it happened...it was so fast. One minute I was waking up in a hotel room after a night of drinking...and then I was standing outside the park. I honestly had no intention of taking him. I don't know what came over me! That isn't me. I know what I did was wrong. Is he okay?"
Rory was breathing fast and Lorelai opened her mouth to speak again but this time her daughter's voice interrupted her, "He's fine. He's amazing. He's forgiven you which I can't understand because I will never forgive you for this. I never forgave you for what you did to Mom...but this is so different. And knowing what you were planning on doing...leaving him there to die alone! How could you do that to a little kid?"
"Rory…" Chris whispered in a raw voice, "I panicked. I never meant for any of this to happen. It was all such a big mistake and you have no idea how badly I wish I could take it back."
"But you can't. You can't take any of it back. This is the worst thing you have ever done. You took my brother...and you were willing to let him die rather than go to jail...you're sick." Rory whispered angrily, "You're demented."
"I know…" Chris whispered as he lifted his hands to rest his head in his hands, "My mind is all messed up. God I'm such a fuck up. And you deserved such a better father Rory...you have no idea how badly I wish I was different."
"I do have a better father." Rory said calmly, "I have Luke. He's my father."
Lorelai tensed and squeezed Rory's hand, she watched as Christopher lifted his head to stare at them. She expected to see anger, the same rage she had seen the night he had attacked her. Luke seemed to be the spark that ignited that flame in him...but instead of anger she saw a calmness in his eyes.
"You're right. He is...he's been there when I wasn't. And as much as I hate him...I'm grateful that you have him. That you both have him…" Chris whispered as he turned slowly towards Lorelai.
Rory seemed just as shocked as Lorelai was, "What?"
"I thought money would fix everything...I thought I could come in and out when I wanted. I thought you'd always be there waiting for me to grow up enough to be the father and partner you guys needed. But I was wrong...and in that time you met Luke. And he took care of you both. It used to make me jealous...but I realize that it's my own fault for walking away so many times…" He said with a shrug.
Rory glanced over at her Mom and back at her father, "I don't understand what you're saying…"
Chris sighed and leaned back in his chair, "Rory I could apologize until I was blue in the face for every little thing I have ever done to you both. But it won't matter...it won't change anything. And I'm tired...I'm so tired of being angry all the time. I'm tired of hiding and so I'm just letting go...letting all the anger go. You don't need me...neither of you do. You have Luke...and he's a better man than I will ever be. I want you both to be happy."
There was silence for a moment and then suddenly Rory started to cry, "Why wasn't I ever good enough for you?" Lorelai scooted her chair closer to her daughter and rubbed her back as Rory broke down in front of them both, "I just...I wanted you to be there when you said you would be. I wanted you to want to be my Dad but you didn't want me. You didn't want to be around. You didn't want to know me. Why? What did I do wrong?"
Chris shook his head and lifted a hand to wipe his tears away, "You didn't do anything Rory...I just wasn't ready to be a father…"
"But when Gigi came into the picture you were there for her…" Rory whispered, "What was different then?"
He shrugged, "I was older...and I saw what I had missed with you."
"Then why didn't you try harder at that point to be in my life too?" She asked angrily.
"Because we both know by then you didn't need me anymore Rory. And I couldn't make up for all the years I had missed...I thought I could but I couldn't." He said sadly, "And I'm sorry for that...because you are an amazing young woman and I should have been around more."
Rory sniffled softly and looked up at him, "Sherry won't let Gigi see you…"
Chris swallowed hard, "I know...she came by last week and told me. I'm not surprised...and I don't blame her really."
"She's my sister. And I am going to be there for her…" Rory whispered, "But I won't mention you unless she asks. Because from now on...you don't exist to me."
Chris's eyes stung with tears and he nodded, "Rory…"
"All I ever wanted was for you to show you cared...to just be my Dad. That's all...I didn't need much." She said with a shrug, "But now...now I don't need you at all. I'll never need you or want you in my life because Mom gave me everything I ever needed." Rory turned towards her Mom and gave her a watery smile, "I should have realized back then she was more than enough...I never needed you Dad."
Chris took his palm and rubbed his eyes hard, "I'm sorry Rory...I'm so sorry…"
Rory turned back to him and sighed, "I think I'm done here." She turned back to her Mom, "I'll meet you outside?"
Lorelai nodded slowly, "Sure hon. Go on...I'll just be a minute."
Rory turned back to her father and they stared at each other for a moment before she stood up slowly and walked out of the room. Richard gave his daughter a look and she only smiled at him to let him know she was okay and he could go. He followed Rory out to the hallway and Lorelai's lawyer stayed with her.
Lorelai turned back to Chris who had his head low and was crying softly, "Lor…"
"You were willing to leave my five year old son to die all alone…" She whispered, "You were that mad at me that you could kill a little boy?"
Chris groaned and lifted his head to look at her, "It wasn't that simple...I had no plan really. Once we got to the house I panicked...and he was so kind and I knew there was no way to get out of it without one of us getting hurt."
"You could have brought him home." Lorelai said leaning against the table.
"But I would have gone to jail and I couldn't handle that…" Chris said shaking his head, "You don't know what's it's like in here Lorelai! Being stuck in here for six years messed with me.'
She rolled her eyes, "It was your fault you came here in the first place. And yes you would have gone back to jail but you broke the law Chris! You kidnapped my son! Do you not get that? Do you not see how terrible that is? Jack was innocent in all of this. If you were still mad at me...you should have come after me. Hurt me...not him. Not my son!"
"I didn't want you hurt you again…" Chris said shaking his head.
"What do you call taking my son? Chris that was the one thing that would hurt me the most and you know that. You knew that the minute I found out you had taken him that my world came crashing down. I felt like you had ripped out my soul...thinking that you had him out there doing God knows what was terrifying. The entire time you had him was like going through the world in slow motion...I couldn't breath. You know me Chris...you knew that that would hurt more than anything else. You could have beaten me to death and that would have hurt less…" She whispered with tears in her eyes.
Chris hung his head in shame, "I didn't lay a hand on him…"
"I know that. But you still took him...and you were willing to let him die to escape prison. Once again you proved that you are only out to save yourself. You are a coward and pathetic man." She said slowly, "But you will never again hurt me or my family…"
"Luke should have killed me when he had the chance…" Chris said lifting his head to look at her, "God I wish he had...why didn't he?"
Lorelai smiled at him, "Because he's a good man. Because he could never take the life of another person no matter how badly he hates you. And because he knows that you want that...that you want an easy out. And for once in your life...you aren't going to get that easy out Chris. You are going to sit here and thinking about this for the rest of your miserable life and I'm going to make sure of that."
Chris whimpered and shook his head, "Lor please…"
"Do you know what Jack said to me and Luke? My precious son that you stole? He said he felt sorry for you...that you just wanted someone to love you. He said he forgave you because he knew you were scared...and that you just needed someone to pay attention to you." She sniffled softly, "But the thing is Chris...Rory and I did love you. For years we were there...and even if you and I weren't together I was there...I would have done anything for you and to ensure your relationship with Rory. You had those opportunities Chris...and you let them all slip away. That's on you...and I won't feel blame for this anymore. I know I did the best I could for our daughter and that I never kept her from you. We would have welcomed you with open arms...you chose to stay away. So you had that opportunity to be loved…" She shrugged, "I will not let you ruin my life anymore...I will not let you scare me. I will not let you scare my children or my husband. I will erase you from my memory for this moment forward. Because you were the one that made those choices. Not me…"
"Lorelai please…" He whispered as he scooted closer to her.
She shook her head and stood up, "You made your bed Chris...and now you have to lie in it. And I feel sorry for you...you had it all...but you let it all come crashing down. You have no one to blame but yourself. Goodbye Christopher…"
She heard him call out to her again but she didn't turn back. She walked straight out to the hallway and as soon as the door closed behind her, she felt Rory launch herself into her arms. Lorelai sighed and held her close as she cried, "Mom…"
"It's okay...it's over now." Lorelai said rubbing her back, "We both said what we needed to say. We can let go now, right?"
Rory pulled away and stared at her, "I feel this overwhelming sense of peace...but sadness too."
Lorelai nodded and wiped at her daughter's tears, "I know hon...I know."
Rory sighed and leaned back into her, "I never want to see him again…"
"And you don't have too…" Lorelai whispered softly, "It's over…"
Rory sighed and looked down, "Mom?" Lorelai looked at her questioningly, "I just...I can't help but think if you had never had me...you would never have had to feel this pain."
Lorelai pulled her daughter close again and spoke softly to her, "I don't ever want you to say something like that again Rory. You are the best thing that ever happened to me…"
"But if you didn't have me...you'd never have to see Dad again. For all those years you had to see him time and time again because of me. And I'm sorry…" Rory whispered softly.
Lorelai glanced over at her father who gave her an understanding smile, he walked with their lawyer down the hallway to give them some space. Lorelai took Rory's hand and lead her over to the benches on the other side of the wall. She sat down, turned her body towards Rory's and tried to think of how to say what she needed to say.
"Rory...never in my wildest dreams did I expect to get pregnant at 16. And I will admit to you that there was a moment when I was pregnant...when I did consider giving you away." Rory grimaced slightly but Lorelai grabbed her hands and held them tightly, "But then I felt you kick for the first time...and as scared as I was...I knew that this was meant to be. That you were meant to come into my life and save me. And you did kid...I was so lost before you. My relationship with my parents was terrible...I hated myself. I was drinking and partying all the time because I was searching for something...anything to make me feel whole. And when those Doctors handed you to me for the first time...I knew I had finally found it."
Rory started to cry harder, "Mom…"
Lorelai shook her head and pressed on, "You gave my life meaning Rory. You gave me a purpose which I desperately needed. I can't even imagine where I would have ended up if I had never had you…"
Rory shook her head, "You would have found a way to do something great…"
Lorelai smiled sadly, "You didn't know me back then kid...I was a mess. I needed you to give me motivation. I needed you to show me what the world had to offer. And you did...and it wasn't always easy but it was so worth it." She shrugged and gave her hands a squeeze, "If I had never had you...I never would have gone to Stars Hollow. I never would have met Mia and started working at the Inn or become friends with Sookie and create our dream of opening an Inn. I never would have met all those crazy people in that town." She felt her eyes well up with tears, "And I never would have met Luke...or married him or had Jack and Elise or known April…" She wiped at her tears quickly and smiled softly, "And despite all the pain we have felt recently...I would do it all again because I have the most beautiful family. I have the one thing I always wanted...and your father is never going to be able to take that away from us. Okay? He tried more than once...and he has failed every time. Because we are stronger than he realizes...we can get through anything babe. You and me against the world, remember? We are going to get past this. We are going to keep living...and we are going to have the best life possible because we deserve too."
"Mom…" Rory whispered as she leaned into her, "I love you…"
Lorelai smiled and wrapped a hand in her hair and kissed the top of her head, "I love you too Rory. I don't ever want to hear you question whether or not I should have had you. My answer will always be yes…"
Rory nodded against her chest and then pulled away, "Can we go home now?"
Lorelai wiped her tears away and nodded, "Sure. Come on...there's a lot of people waiting to see us."
Rory stood up and let her mother wrap an arm around her shoulders. They walked together out to the lobby where Richard was waiting for the. He gave them both a smile and wrapped his arm around Lorelai's other side as they walked back to the car.
When they got back to the house, they walked straight to the backyard and smiled when they saw April in the pool with Jack. Luke stood up and handed Elise to Emily before he stood up to greet them. He didn't say anything at first, just waited. And then Rory's arms were around his neck and she held him close.
Luke wrapped his own arms around her waist and looked back at his wife who just stared back a thim. "Rory?" He whispered.
Rory pulled away and kissed his cheek, "Love you Luke."
He smiled back and gave her hand a squeeze, "I love you too kid…"
She nodded slowly and then looked back at her Mom before stepping past Luke and sitting at the pools edge to talk to April and Jack. Richard gave his daughter's shoulder a squeeze and walked over to his wife and sat down before he took Elise into his arms. Luke glanced back at his wife, she didn't say anything, only held her hand out to him hopefully.
He took it in his and let her walk them back towards the house. He didn't ask where they were going, he felt like he had a pretty good idea of her destination. They climbed the stairs in silence and Lorelai led him to her old bedroom. She closed the door behind her and then sat down on her bed and waited for him to join her.
He sat down silently and squeezed her hand, "How did it go?"
She was quiet for a moment and then began to trace the lines on his hand slowly, "It went...as well as expected I guess. I'm proud of Rory...she was strong. She said what she needed to say…"
Luke nodded slowly before whispering, "And you?"
She smiled and lifted her head, "I think I said it all...and I think he heard me even if he didn't want to hear it."
"How did he seem?" Luke asked curiously, "Not that I really care...but did he yell?"
Lorelai shook her head, "No. He cried...apologized. Said he never meant for it to happen...that hadn't meant to take him."
Luke scoffed, "You're kidding me...he cried?"
Lorelai ignored his comment and kept talking, "He acknowledged that he had screwed up...not just with taking Jack but for always disappointing Rory. He said he was glad that we had you...then and now. That you were a better man…"
"Lorelai…" He whispered scooting closer to her.
"He said he was letting it all go...all of the anger. I told him it was his fault...that I don't feel guilty anymore." She whispered.
"And you shouldn't." Luke whispered, "He made his choices Lorelai…"
She lifted her head to look at him and nodded with tears in her eyes, "I think I finally get that now. I mean…" She sniffled softly and looked out at the balcony, "We were kids back then...and I was so desperate to feel anything. And so I latched onto him...and then I got pregnant and I honestly thought my life was over. But I was so wrong...my life began when I had Rory. And from that moment on him and I started to grow apart...and in some ways that made me sad. But it wasn't because I wanted him...it was because I wanted Rory to have her father. I wanted her to have the family I never had." She sniffled softly, "I love my parents...I do. But when I was a kid...I always felt so damn unsure. And I wanted more for her...and that's why I always let him back in...I thought at some point he'd get it together and be the father that she needed. But I know now that he never could have been that man…"
Luke wiped at her tears, "Lorelai…"
"I gave him chance after chance...and he blew them all." She swallowed hard, "And when you and I broke up…" She sighed and shook her head, "I went to him because it was easy...I knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong...I never should have done it. But I've forgiven myself for that only because you have forgiven me…"
"I do forgive you...I forgave you years ago." He said squeezing her hands, "He knew you weren't in any place to be with him…"
She nodded slowly, "Chris likes to take the easy way out...he always did. But for once in his life he's not going to get what he wants. Life is hard...it's so damn hard sometimes. And he's never had to face it head on. But now he will…"
"Lorelai…" He whispered again as he leaned towards her, "Tell me what to do to make you feel better…"
She smiled at him and pulled away so she could see him, "Luke...you don't need to do anything. I'm...I'm at peace with it in someway. I mean…" She shrugged, "It still breaks my heart that Jack had to go through all of this. But I know it's not my fault...I know I did the best I could with the situation I was given all those years ago. I always left a space open for Chris to come see Rory...I didn't push him away. He had the opportunity to have a family...to have love that he so craved. And he turned away from it...it's not my fault. I couldn't change any of it…"
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Lorelai…"
"Rory said she felt like if she had never been born...if I had never gotten pregnant then I never would have felt all this pain." She shook her head slowly, "But she's wrong...I would still be in pain if I had never had her. I was so alone then...so confused. And she gave me a reason to live...she gave me purpose. And she led me to you…"
Luke squeezed her hand, "She's a great kid…"
"She is the greatest thing I have ever done. Because without her...I wouldn't have the family I have now. And that is not a life I ever want to know or live in. This is where I belong...this was all supposed to happen in this way. As scary as it has been...it was part of our plan." She glanced out at the balcony, "This was all part of my plan…"
Luke followed her gaze, he knew that the balcony was where Rory had been conceived, "Lorelai…"
"So in some ways...what people see as my biggest mistake was my biggest triumphant. Getting pregnant at 16 probably saved my life." She said with a shrug, "It did save my life...and it gave me a life I never thought was possible…" She turned back to him and smiled, "When I was 16 I thought I loved Christopher...I really did. But that wasn't love Luke...that was fear and desperation. That was an escape…" She pulled his hands up and placed them against her heart, "But what I feel for you is so much stronger than love...I can't put it into words. And I need you to know that he was never really a threat to us...or to you. He could never give me what you do…"
Luke felt tears burning in his eyes, "Lorelai…"
"No one will ever understand me the way you do. No one will make me feel loved or safe like you do...and I can't ever imagine a world without you. I don't want to imagine a world without you." She said leaning forward to kiss his lips, "Christopher is my past...you are my future. My present...my everything. And I am so damn thankful that I met you...and that you fell in love with me. Because I never want to be without you…"
"Lorelai…" He tried again.
"I know you feel angry...and scared. I get it...you know I do. But babe we gotta put this behind us. We need to start living again...not just existing." She pressed her forehead against his and breathed him in, "I choose you Luke. I will always choose you...I choose our life together...the good and the bad times. This is all I need…"
Luke let out a small laugh, "I don't know what to say to all that…"
She smiled at him and pulled away to wipe at his tears and then her own, "You don't have to say anything. I just...I needed to say all that. Seeing Chris today...it was overwhelming. But it was what I needed to finally start to heal a little. We still have things we will have to work on...but we can do this. I know we can…"
Luke stared at her for a moment and then smiled before whispering, "Will you marry me?"
Her smile grew and she laughed a little, "We're already married…"
He nodded slowly, "I know...but let's get married again."
She sat up a little straighter and let his words sink in, "What?"
"Fresh start…" Luke whispered, "I mean...it would just be a renewal really. We recommit ourselves to each other. This time Jack and Elise would be there...we can make it small. Just immediate family...and then we can all go away together somewhere if you want. A big trip...some time away for all of us to just heal." He said with a shrug, "What do you think?"
"You're serious?" She asked softly, "Really serious?"
Luke smiled, "Lorelai the one big regret I have in my life is not marrying you sooner...and now I'd marry you 100 times if I could. All of this...this pain and fear we've been feeling...it's only made me love you more. It's made me realize how damn much I need you in my life and what I would do to protect the family we have. And I want to put this behind us...I want to marry you again."
Lorelai smiled and leaned in to cup his face, "God I love you…"
"I love you too…" Luke whispered against her lips, "So is that a yes?"
She giggled slightly and pulled away, "Of course it's a yes! You think I'd say no?"
He shook his head, "Not really no...just wanted to check."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed him in, "So is this your thing? After I go see someone in prison you propose?"
Luke laughed and squeezed her close to him, "Well hopefully you'll never go see anyone in prison again. But apparently it is…" He pulled away and smiled at her, "I think it's both of the times you left to see him...it scared me. Not because I don't trust you but because I couldn't protect you. It makes me love you and need you more…"
She smiled and gave him a quick kiss, "So...does this mean we get to celebrate two anniversaries?"
Luke laughed, "We can if you want...we can do whatever makes you happy."
"You make me happy…" She said as she leaned further into him.
Luke smiled and kissed her lips softly, "That's all I want…"
Lorelai went to deepen the kiss but the door to her bedroom burst open and Jack ran in, "Mommy!"
Lorelai pulled away and smiled at her son, "Hey buddy, you okay?"
He walked over to her and climbed up in her lap, "Yeah. I just missed you. You didn't come say hi when you came back."
Lorelai smiled and hugged him close, "I'm sorry...I had to talk to Daddy about something."
Jack sat on her lap for a moment quietly and then asked, "Did you see him?"
Lorelai frowned and rubbed his back, "Yes honey...Rory and I went to go see Christopher."
Jack nodded slowly and shrugged, "I thought about that trial...and I don't think I want to go to it. But I could do a video...I just don't really want to see him."
"You don't have too Jack. We want you to do whatever it is you are comfortable with." Luke whispered.
Jack looked up at his Mom and smiled at her, "Are you sad anymore Mommy?"
Lorelai took a deep breath and hugged him close, "How could I be sad little buddy? I have my two best guys right beside me…"
Jack smiled at her, "Me and Daddy?"
Lorelai nodded slowly, "That's right babe."
"Speaking of best guys…" Luke said with a smile, "Jack, Mommy and I are going to have another wedding...do you want to be my best man?"
Lorelai smiled at her husband and Jack beamed up at his Dad, "Me?"
Luke nodded and lifted Jack off of his wife's lap to hold him close, "Yeah you. What do you think?"
"Aren't you and Mommy already married though?" Jack ashed with a shrug.
Luke nodded, "We are...but sometimes people have another little ceremony just to say how much they love each other. And that's what Mommy and I want to do...and we want our family to be there with us."
"What about Jess?" Jack asked, "Wasn't he your best man before?"
Luke nodded, "He was...but now I'm asking you."
Jack smiled, "Okay! I wanna do it!"
Luke smiled and kissed his cheek, "Thanks bud. There is no one else I would want beside me. You are my best man…"
Jack smiled and looked over at his Mom, "Are you gonna wear a pretty dress Mom?"
Lorelai smiled, "I don't know what I will wear buddy...Dad just asked me. Plus we technically already got married...might be something more simple."
"Can you get married on the boat?" Jack asked softly, "That would be cool!"
Lorelai chuckled softly, "We could...but we need a captain. Not a Cruise ship…"
Luke grimaced, "Hey now...let's not go there." She laughed and stuck her tongue out at him, "We could get married on the boat if we want…"
"Who's getting married?" A voice called from the door behind them.
Lorelai smiled at April and Rory as they walked in, "We're renewing our vows."
"You are?" Rory said with a smile, "That's so sweet! When? Where? On the boat?"
"We might." Lorelai said as they walked in, Jess stepped in behind them, "Hey maybe Jess can marry us!"
Jess frowned, "What?"
Luke shrugged, "That's an idea…" He turned to his nephew, "Wanna get ordained? I kind of gave your old roll up...Jack's gonna be my best man."
Jack shrugged, "Why the hell not? I've done crazier things…"
"So...we're gonna have a wedding?" Jack asked as he looked over at Lorelai.
Lorelai smiled, "I think we are bud...what do you think about that?"
Jack smiled, "I think that it's about time we had something to celebrate…"
Lorelai smiled and leaned forward to kiss his head, "I couldn't agree more."
"So...who's gonna tell Grandma?" Jack asked, "You know she loves a good wedding…"
Lorelai laughed and scooped up her son, "Jack...what would we do without you?"
Jack sighed dramatically, "Your life would be pretty boring without me…"
She smiled and kissed his cheek, "You are right about that." She paused, "Why don't' you go tell Grandma? I think she needs something to be happy about too."
Jack jumped down and ran towards the door with his siblings and cousin in tow. Lorelai smiled and leaned against Luke's shoulder. "We're getting married…again…"
Luke smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Looks like it…"
She sighed and kissed his cheek gently, "Now you're really stuck with me."
Luke chuckled and wrapped a hand in her hair, "Only place I want to be…"
She looked around for a moment, "Think we can spare five minutes to make out? Gotta celebrate the re-engagement…"
Luke chuckled, "Sounds good to me…"
Lorelai giggled as he lay her back on the bed and immediately attached his lips to her neck. In that moment as she held him close she realized she had never loved him more. Luke was the love of her life...and all the pain she had faced not just in the last few months but her whole life was worth it because it brought her to him. And there was no where else she would rather be...this was where she belonged.
Hope you liked it :) I will try and write sometime this weekend so I can update soon.