7x10 Internal Affairs -2

Kensi wrapped her arms around Deeks's neck as tight as she dared, but it still wasn't enough. Wasn't close enough. She'd been so scared these past few days, and finding out that Steadman had Deeks had Kensi frantic. The minute she could, she ran to him and threw herself into his arms. Leaning back enough to look at his face, but keeping their bodies tight together, Kensi ran her eyes over him to inspect the damage that bastard had done.

"Are you ok? Tell me everywhere he hit you!" Kensi practically demanded as she gently brushed Deeks's hair off his face and took note of the nasty cut across his nose, the bruise on his cheek.

"I'm fine, baby. I'll heal." Deeks tried to reassure her.

"Are you sure? Should we go to the hospital? Maybe we should go to the hospital." Kensi rushed before Deeks placed a deep kiss on her lips. She kissed him back fiercely, her hands tangling in his hair, and seeking him out again when he pulled away.

"What about the boundaries?"

"I don't care." Kensi pulled his face back to hers so she could kiss him deeply again. The kiss, although passionate, was full of fear and longing. The past few days had been more than rough on them both and this deep kiss was the best they could do to reassure each other in public. Finally they pulled apart and Kensi buried her face in Deeks's neck. She had come to a rather confronting conclusion during this mess. Through every horrible experience she'd ever been through, she had never been more terrified in her life. The fear of losing Deeks was far greater than anything else. Once it would have been too much, and caused her to pull away, to distance herself from any chance of pain. But now... Now she just wanted to pull him closer, hold him as close as possible. Kensi wanted to shield him from the world that had caused them both so much pain. Yet another evil man had gotten his hands on her beautiful man, and there had been nothing she could do to stop it. Facing down with Steadman, she'd wanted to kill him. Had actually hoped he'd make a move and give her a reason. There had been plenty of times Kensi had faced evil people, had even thought about how much better the world would be without them in it, but never before had she wanted to hurt someone as badly as she wanted to hurt Steadman.

Reluctantly, Deeks and Kensi pulled apart and joined their friends and coworkers, they made plans and went their separate ways. Deeks stopped off at OSP, then his house to see his mother before joining the team at the bar. Kensi was practically glued to his side all night. She sat tight beside him in the booth, one hand resting on his thigh the whole time, as he kept one arm around her. He tried to be interested in the conversations around him, but he was clearly distracted. Kensi kept shooting worried glances his way. It had been an awfully long few days, and it was clearly time to go home. So with a quick apology and goodbye to the team, Kensi and Deeks excused themselves and headed home. But half way Deeks asked Kensi to pull off the road and head to the beach. Confused, but willing to go along, Kensi drove them to the beach, they parked and she followed Deeks as he moved down to the sand.

"Are you ok, baby?" Kensi asked as she sat beside him. He stared at the waves for a moment before turning to her.

"I need to tell you something." The moonlight bounced off his eyes and the fear, the doubt, the worry were all so blatantly present they overwhelmed the sky blue of his eyes.

"What is it? You can tell me anything, Deeks." Kensi whispered as she reached out to brush the hair off his forehead. He stared at her intently, the words on the tip of his tongue, and she waited with a breath she didn't even realise she was holding. He opened and closed his mouth several times, before dropping his head and looking out to the ocean again. He was shutting down. And Kensi released the breath, dropped her head too and prepared to let this moment pass without any revelations from the shaggy surfer she loved so damn much. But Deeks surprised her when he turned towards her again.

"There's something about my past I never told you." Deeks spoke softly and paused to gain courage to continue. Kensi waited for him, prepared to give him all the time in the world. But the words that came out of his mouth, however important they turned out to be, were not the ones he'd brought her here to confess. "When I was a kid, after I shot my dad. I went to juvi. They locked me up Kens." Deeks choked on the words and Kensi immediately wrapped her arms around him. She didn't care if this wasn't what he originally wanted to tell her. This was clearly a part of him he'd never let anyone else see. That was more than enough.

"What? How could they do that? You were protecting your mom!" Kensi's indignation rang loud as she she pulled away from Deeks to look into his sorrowful face.

"Mom had never pressed charges, had never made a complaint or gone to the hospital. She'd kept everything he'd done a secret, locked up in that god awful house. So he lied, he said that he wasn't doing anything to mom. That I was the one who hurt her, not him. He told them I was crazy and that they couldn't control me."

"What? What did your mom say?" Kensi was in shock. She knew that the justice system failed far more often then it should, but still couldn't believe that the system had allowed this to happen to the man she loved. But more than that, she couldn't help but be in awe of him. This amazing man had been through so much pain and suffering and still he was compassionate and kind. He was still the protector of the innocent. But then maybe... It was all the pain and all the injustice he had suffered that pushed him to fight for others.

"Of course she told them he was lying. But he was charismatic when he wanted to be and he had a good lawyer. They played it that she was lying to protect me. So they locked me up." The tears in his eyes, and tightness of his voice, broke Kensi's heart.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I just can't believe how badly they screwed up. But how did your dad end up in jail then?"

"It was months later, he was drink driving, crashed his car and nearly killed a lady. The bastard never did time for what he did to us." Finally a tear escaped, and Deeks angrily swiped it away. Kensi moved into his lap and pulled him into her arms.

"I hate that that happened to you." Kensi whispered as she held him tightly. His arms were strong around her, his face buried in her neck. It hadn't been the story he'd intended to tell her, but it turned out it was the story he'd needed to tell her. No one but himself and his mom knew about that horrible time in their lives, and sharing it with Kensi had taken some of the weight off his shoulders. He wasn't ready to tell her about Boyle, but he would be. One day, and soon. Kensi was sure of it. She had faith in him, she always had, and she knew him better than anyone. She knew his motives, she knew his mind, and she knew his heart.

That was my last take on the IA episode. Hope you all like it. Leave me some love and let me know.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. And hello to all my new followers.