7x19 The Seventh Child.

It was late. Probably too late to still be awake considering they had work tomorrow, but they'd had an amazing night and lying blissfully happy in his arms was more important then sleep. Kensi turned her head to place a gentle kiss on his naked chest and smiled when his arms tightened around her.

"I want to have a baby with you." The words slipped out of her mouth. She hadn't intended to say them. She'd made it perfectly clear how she felt today. But she'd opened her mouth to tell him she loved him and that's what came out.

"I want to have a baby with you." He answered without wavering. She could hear confidence and truth in his voice. Could hear that his heart didn't so much as stutter under her ear. Her words hadn't shocked him, hadn't upset him.

"You do?" She questioned. It wasn't that she believed he'd suddenly had a change of heart after years of proclamations regarding his love of children and his deep desire to be a father. But rather that she was confused as to why he was so hesitant now.

"Of course I do. Since we met all I ever wanted is you and us and our family. You know that." Deeks whispered with cPonviction. Kensi shifted to sit up, and Deeks immediately mirrored her.

"Then talk to me baby. Tell me what's wrong." Kensi cupped his cheek in her hand and looked into his eyes. She knew there was more to this. That there was something much deeper. Their communication had gotten so much better but there were still times when they both needed prompting to open up.

"I don't want to lose you." He choked out and her heart broke to see the pain swimming in his eyes, the fear.

"You will never lose me." Kensi replied vehemently. She was determined to spend the rest of her life with this man, and that that life would be long. Very long.

"You don't know that. You can't promise me that. And I can't do it without you." Deeks shook his head as he spoke, tears filling his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall.

"Are you afraid something will happen to me? Because I'm healthy, baby. The chances of any complications are slim. But I'll have the baby in the hospital, not at home, if it'll make you feel better." She wouldn't do anything in regard to their children, and both her safety and the baby's, without Deeks approval. It was his child too. So if he was this frightened of complications, she would happily give birth in a hospital rather than in their home.

"Its not that. Well... Not just that."

"Talk to me." Kensi pleaded. Deeks needed to get this out and she needed to hear it.

"What if I walk into work one day and you're gone again? What if they take you away from me?" Deeks's voice was smaller than she'd ever heard it. She was surprised, to say the least. Kensi didn't realise that this was a pain he was still holding.

"What?"

"When we finally took a step, when we finally... You were gone. They sent you to Afghanistan and I nearly lost you." The pain in Deeks's voice was almost overwhelming, so Kensi took his hand in hers and squeezed it, offering her strength to help him continue. "Then we find our way back to each other and the IA investigation happened, and I thought I was losing you all over again. And then, then we decide to move in together and your ex shows up. And I know he wasn't a threat or anything like that but it just seems like every time something good happens with us, something bad is waiting right around the corner. So what horrible thing is going to happen when the best thing that could ever happen to us - a baby - comes along?" He stopped to take a breath, to compose himself, before whispering. "I can't lose you Kensi, I won't."

And there it was. She understood now. His fear. He was terrified that she would chose the job over him and their family. Terrified that he'd be left alone to explain to their children, to raise their children. Terrified that if it ever came down to it, that she would chose the job over their family. She wanted to reassure him, was happy to do so, because choosing NCIS wasn't something she was prepared to do, no matter how much she loved her job and her country. Deeks and their family would always come first. Always.

"Look at me, baby." Kensi asked as she climbed into his lap and took his face in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eye. "You are not going to lose me. We survived all those things and we can survive anything this world throws at us. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of you and us. We're good, remember? No one is going tear us apart."

"But what if..." Deeks started just to have Kensi cut him off with a quick, hard kiss on his lips. She pulled back and looked at him with a fierceness in her eyes that he'd never seen before.

"If they try to take me away from you, from our child... I will quit." Kensi's voice was strong and full of conviction. She meant it. Every word. And she needed him to understand that.

"What?" Deeks asked with wide eyes.

"They can't force me to do anything. And I will not do anything that will take me away from our family. Whether it's for weeks, months or... worse. I will always chose us." She watched Deeks eyes fill with awe and love as she spoke and tangled her hands in his hair.

"I love you. So much." He whispered with a voice choked by tears and emotion. There were many times in their relationship when he made her feel loved, but in this moment, she felt more loved and cherished then she ever had before.

"I love you too. More than anything in the world." She didn't say the words as much as she should, but she meant it, and she wanted him to know and to feel as loved as she did. His arms wrapped tighter around her waist, and she willing moved with him to be pressed even closer to his chest.

"I want to have a baby with you." Deeks whispered as a smile pulled at his lips and his eyes lit up with happiness. Kensi smiled in return and rested her forehead against his.

"Me too."

I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. I only write when I feel inspired to do so. If there's no story in my head, I just can't force one. And for a while there I was trying to force a chapter for every episode. But it didn't work. So I waited for inspiration to strike. And finally it has. However now I'm not going to worry about posting in order, I'm just going to post as the stories come to me.

I open you're all still with me. Please review.