Well ... that was a challenge to 'fix'. Here's my take on Heartfelt Passages and after this, I will be wrapping up this story. It will not continue into season 18 because WL managed to seal the deal before leaving the show. In a way, I feel sorry for the new showrunner because there is no way around Tuckson now, unless they want to break Liv's heart once again. And I am very conflicted about that ... go Tuckson?

...

"Have you ever had one come back to you Liv?"

The seriousness of Elliot's question didn't escape her, and while they had just been joking, it deserved a serious answer.

"No," she answered truthfully. "So far, none of the men that walked away have ever come back to me."

She'd hooked up with Brian Cassidy a second time, but he had never walked out on her. She'd broken it off the first time, and they did it together the second time. But David had never come back. And neither had Elliot. Until now.

"All men are idiots Olivia."

"Takes one to know one?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

"Absolutely," Elliot answered, still very serious. "Walking away from you was the dumbest thing I ever did."

Olivia didn't know what to say. She was glad they were finally talking again but she wasn't sure if he just wanted to be friends again, like they had discussed at the playground, or if there was still more between them. There had been times she'd been sure of it. The lingering looks, the smiles and little touches. And their wordless conversations, feeding off each other in interrogations and encouraging each other when things went badly, either at work or personally. She'd felt so grounded with Elliot by her side. But it had been so long. She didn't want to set herself up for more heartache yet again. So she finally dismissed Elliot's words.

"Well, I'm glad you're walking my way again El. We should stay in touch this time."

...

The team managed to solve the case and get the show's producers to admit the cover-up. All they were left with now, was Melanie, the victim. She was going back home to Idaho and Olivia walked her out.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do when I get home. I feel lost," Melanie admitted.

"That's normal," Olivia assured her. "It takes time, Melanie. But you will get through this, I promise."

"Do you know what the worst part is?" Melanie asked her, a deep sadness in her eyes. "I actually thought that Ryan and I were in love. I thought he was going to ask me to marry him in the finale, and we were going to live happily ever after."

Olivia sighed when Melanie walked off to greet her mother, who had come to pick her up. Did she even believe in happily ever after anymore? It was her and Noah now, and maybe it should just stay that way. She loved Elliot, but she'd been used to loving him from a distance for years. He was a free man now, but she couldn't just pick up where they left off five years ago. Too much had happened to her since then. They had both changed, and maybe that was a good thing. They weren't at each others' throats anymore. A small smile played on her lips when Olivia walked back up to the squad room. It was sad really, that she considered her fights with Elliot as part of the good old days. But she'd felt so alive then. It had all been so intense.

Deep in thought, Olivia didn't even notice Ed Tucker standing outside her office until she practically bumped into him.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't see you."

Tucker raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Here was another intense male specimen in her life. Her fights with him over the years definitely weren't part of the good old days. But he was getting softer now that he was getting older, and he had become a different kind of constant in her life. A friend. He followed her into her office and asked her if she would like to have dinner with him. Just like that, out of the blue. Registering her surprise, he grinned.

"Yeah, I know. You're seeing Stabler again. But you can still have dinner with me, right? Just to catch up? Bring Noah too, we can go early."

Olivia smiled at the mention of her son. Noah had been her lifeline this past year. He was the one she calmed down with after a disturbing dream and he was the one who woke her up each day, whether she wanted to get up or not. Having dinner with Tucker and Noah together sounded like a great idea.

"Alright, that sounds like fun," she said, smiling at the Captain of IAB. "But I can't set a date yet. You know ..."

She gestured around her, indicating the piles of case files on her desk.

"Yeah, I know. I'll call, okay?"

"Okay."

...

Dinner plans were on hold for a while when SVU caught a case against Munson, one of the Corrections Officers and Rikers. The case turned ugly fast and everyone was on edge after Barba received some threats. Munson's wife was now also convinced of his guilt and wanted to leave him, with their two children. The union was busy raising his bail so Olivia gave her her phone number and told her to get out of the house before her husband came back, and to call if she needed anything.

Back in the squad room they had a small farewell party for Sergeant Dodds, who would be leaving the unit after today when the wife called. Munson was already home and she didn't know what to do. She wanted out and asked for her help. Mike Dodds volunteered to go with her to get them out, on his very last day in the unit, saying that the man would listen when confronted with a Sergeant as well as a Lieutenant. Olivia couldn't argue with that and they left.

Things got out of hand and while Olivia managed to get the children out of the house, when she returned, the door was locked and Mike was still inside with the Munsons. Gary Munson had pulled a gun on him and his own wife. Mike got shot while trying to get the gun from the husband and guilt washed over Olivia when she saw him lying there, bleeding on the floor. She never should have left him alone. He shouldn't even have been there on his last day. The only one she could think of to send a quick text was Ed Tucker, and he met her at the hospital.

It was comforting to have Ed around, and she even managed to get some sleep during the night, nodding off on his shoulder in the waiting room while they waited for news about Dodds. At first, it looked like her Sergeant was going to be alright, but after a few hours, blood clogs caused hemorrhaging in the brain and then a massive stroke, and he was pronounced brain dead. Chief Dodds was heartbroken and Olivia spiraled down fast into her feelings of guilt. She managed to push through until after the funeral but took a week off after that, holing up in her apartment with Noah. She didn't want any visitors and didn't answer her phone. She would only read text messages, in case something really urgent required her attention, but other than that, she just needed to be with her son.

The weather was great and after a few days, she didn't think it was fair to Noah to keep him cooped up all day long, so they went out for a stroll to a nearby playground. When she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, she checked it for a text and saw it was from Elliot.

'Heard about your sarge. Want some company?'

She checked her missed calls, and sure enough, a few were from Elliot. The fact that he'd reached out with a text told her that he still knew her well. She replied to his question.

'At the playground with Noah, catching some sun. Are you in the neighborhood?'

His reply was almost instant.

'Be there in 5.'

Olivia kept a watchful eye on Noah, who was playing happily with a few other young children. She was sitting on a bench where Elliot had just joined her. She knew he was looking at her, trying to read her mood. She was still devastated over Mike's death and the pain Chief Dodds must be feeling. If she ever lost her son, she didn't know if she'd survive it.

"You're feeling guilty," Elliot said out of the blue and she frowned when she looked at him.

One corner of his mouth tugged up and he shrugged. He could still read her like a book. Olivia looked down at her hands and then back up to check where Noah was. She nodded slightly.

"He shouldn't have been there. It was his last day ..."

Her voice gave out and she blinked back her tears, pursing her lips and looking away from Elliot completely. She tried to sit up straight when she felt Elliot's arm wrap around her shoulders. He was holding her loosely but she felt like she was going to explode. Everything she was trying to keep inside, for Noah's sake, was bubbling to the surface.

"Have you talked with your therapist yet?" Elliot asked softly, and she found comfort in the sound of his voice, that had always been so familiar to her.

She shook her head.

"Not yet."

Her words were barely a whisper and she was taking deep breaths, trying not to break down in front of him.

"You should."

She knew. Dr. Lindstrom was very good at putting things in perspective. But she wasn't ready to deal with Mike's death. It shouldn't have happened. Not on her watch. Elliot's arm held her a little tighter and she leaned into him a bit.

"It's okay," he said softly, rubbing his cheek against the side of her head, and it was all she needed. Her shoulders started shaking and she buried her face in Elliot's chest, clinging to his jacket when she finally allowed the tears to flow. Elliot wrapped both arms around her and just held her while she let it all out. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore and Elliot waited patiently, keeping an eye on Noah for her, and glaring at anyone who looked at them too long. When Olivia finally came up for air, they leaned back against the backrest of the bench and she put her head on his shoulder. She chuckled when he handed her a handkerchief, because it was a little late for that. His jacket and shirt were already soaked.

She pulled a bottle of water from her bag, took a few sips and breathed out slowly.

"Feel better?" Elliot asked.

"A little," she admitted. "I'm just exhausted."

"Understandable. Just don't put it all on yourself, okay? Talk to your shrink."

"I will, El."

She looked up at him and Elliot reached up to caress her cheek.

"You'll be fine," he assured her, and for once, she believed she would be.

Their eyes remained locked and she could see the emotion in his blues while he was reading her browns. When he leaned in, she wasn't surprised. Her heart was beating fast but she'd known it was coming. When his lips touched hers, their eyes slipped shut and something resembling a surge of electricity coursed through her body. Only in her dreams had they ever dared to take this step. To cross that invisible line that had always been between them. And now he was kissing her. And she was kissing him. It wasn't a long kiss but his lips were soft and when she sighed he nipped at her lower lip before releasing her to look into her eyes again.

She stared at him and saw regret seep into his eyes. He was sorry he kissed her?

"Liv ... I ... I don't want to take advantage of ... your state of mind, okay? I'm sorry if that was too soon."

His words implied so much that Olivia needed a minute to collect herself. 'Too soon' meant that he had wanted to kiss her before, but that he didn't think it was time yet. It hadn't been a spur of the moment thing. She pulled away.

"El, it's ... it's okay. It was ... nice."

She averted her eyes, scanning the playground and blowing out a breath when she saw Noah. Relax Benson, it was just a little kiss. Only it wasn't. A kiss between her and Elliot could never be just a kiss. It had been their first kiss. Ever. And it had moved her deeply. She was still trembling inside. Elliot put his arm behind her on the bench again, and touched her back with his hand.

"It was nice," he confirmed. "But too soon, right?"

Olivia sighed.

"I don't know."

"Wanna try it again?"

She whipped her head around to look at him and caught his cocky grin.

"You're an asshole, Elliot Stabler," she huffed, but she was glad the mood had become lighter again.

They laughed off the moment and after a while, when Noah was beginning to get tired, Olivia thanked him for coming and being her shoulder to cry on.

"No problem," Elliot shrugged. "Anytime Liv. You know that, right?"

...

She kept wondering about that kiss. She did go to see Dr. Lindstrom like she'd promised, and he helped her put things into perspective a little better. She couldn't have known what was going to happen and she hadn't fled the scene to leave him behind on purpose. Maybe Mike's death could have been prevented, but it didn't make it her fault. She was beginning to deal with that a little.

Ed Tucker called again, and they finally decided on a lunch together with Noah on a Saturday in stead of dinner. Noah was getting used to Tucker a bit and she enjoyed seeing her son interact with someone who might become a male role model for him. She'd never seen Tucker dealing with young kids before, but she had to admit he was less awkward than she'd expected. After lunch, they went for a walk along the river. Olivia glanced at Tucker from time to time, and caught herself comparing him to Elliot. Tucker was a few years older, obviously, but he was in good shape. He had a temper so that was the same. And he cared about her. So, the same. Because Eliot showing up at the exact right time to help her through her grief proved to her that he still cared about her. They had both known her for years and knew what made her tick to some degree.

And then there was that kiss. That electrifying kiss. If she really wanted to complete her comparison, she knew what she'd have to do. She knew Tucker wouldn't mind and tried not to think about the fact that it wasn't really fair to him. What was he talking about now anyway? He was leaving IAB?

"Wow, Ed," she said. "You know, I never did ask you how you ended up in IAB to begin with."

"It's a long story," he replied so she thought he wasn't going to answer her. But then he continued. "Actually, no, it's not. After my ex and I ... she, ehm ... I just thought I could never trust anybody again."

Okay. So he'd been cheated on.

"So you joined IAB to confirm that belief."

She could relate to distrusting people. She hardly let anyone get close to her either. But then Tucker told her that he was wrong and that he did trust her. And she wasn't so sure he should, given her earlier musings. But he was the one who had pushed her towards Elliot in the first place, so why was he trying to get closer to her again?

"We have a good thing going here, the three of us," Tucker said, after tickling Noah.

She couldn't disagree with that. They were having a very nice afternoon.

"So... it might be nice to get away for a while," Tucker suggested and before she could ask him what he meant, he added, "How do you feel about Paris?"

Paris! She had always wanted to go to Paris. Would this be a good time to steal a kiss and see what happens? Wouldn't it be unfair to lead Tucker on like that?

"Paris?" she asked, smiling and moving closer to him.

"Yeah," Tucker said softly, clearly happy with her reaction as well as her proximity.

"I like it," she said, standing on her toes until they were face to face. It wasn't a lie. She liked Paris.

She pressed her lips to his and closed her eyes, waiting for the fireworks. And then ... nothing. They broke apart and both grinned. She wasn't going to shoot him down on the spot and had to think about what she'd just felt. Or rather, hadn't felt. They continued walking and played with Noah a bit but she was very quiet. When they walked back to the parking lot to get the car, Olivia glanced at Tucker again. She didn't want to hurt him but she had to be honest.

"Ed," she said, and when he looked at her, she could tell he already knew. Maybe he could read her better than she thought after all.

He nodded, a sad look in his eyes.

"I know, Olivia. I'm sorry. A guy can hope, right?"

She busied herself strapping Noah into the car seat and once she was done, she closed the car door and walked over to Tucker's side of the car.

"I'm flattered and it's always been my dream to go to Paris but ..."

"But not with me."

Olivia looked down and took his hands in hers, resting her head against his chest.

"I understand," he said, a slight tremor in his voice. "I'm glad you're being honest with me."

She looked up then and smiled.

"Well, like you said, you can trust me."

He leaned in and she thought she owed him at least one more kiss. Tucker wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close when he kissed her, a little more forceful than their first try. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't exciting either. More like a comforting gesture and she smiled when they broke apart.

"I do hope we can have lunch again some time," Tucker said, a slight blush on his cheeks. "You know, as friends?"

Olivia nodded.

"We can. Only ... no more of this then, okay?"

Tucker let go of her and bit his lip. She felt sorry for him but she had nothing more to give him than friendship.

"Am I going to regret getting Stabler back into your life?"

It was an honest question that deserved an honest answer, as painful as it would be.

"No Ed," she replied. "It wouldn't have made a difference for you and me."

...

...

A/N I thought that was rather creative, even if I say so myself. I'd love to know what you think so please leave a review and/or shoot me a PM.