2 years ago:

My eighteenth birthday is tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Only one more night stuck in this awful house. Most of them had left. Well, everyone but Trenton. Off to college… off to work. Basically anything that got them out of the house and away from me. The unwanted Maddox child. The reminder. I shouldn't blame them… and I don't… not as much as I blame myself.

My phone buzzed. It was Gavin, the only person that stayed around through all my crazy and mood swings. I pushed all my other friends away. Gavin wouldn't have it. He still sat with me at lunch at school and talked to me every day. He'd texted me to ask why I skipped the last day of school.

Not feeling it. Pointless day anyways.- T.

Still, you're not okay, Tess. –G

After tomorrow I will be. Tomorrow I'm leaving. Forever. –T.

I had it all planned out. It would be over tomorrow. Every last detail had been arranged. Every detail except Gavin. I hadn't expected him to catch on so quickly. Or to have a contingency plan. But he did. Full of surprises that boy.

Come with me. You don't want to do that. You just think it's your only way out. Come with me. –G.

When I didn't reply, he texted me again.

Give me six months. We'll leave tomorrow. I promise in six months; I can make you happy. –G.

I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Six months wasn't long. Now, I hesitated on my plans. He was right. I didn't really want to… not deep down. Gavin would be devastated.

They'll find me. –T.

Not this way. I have a plan. Let me try. Please?- G.

I chewed on my lip and sighed. Six months- T.

I'll be over at seven. Make sure the house is empty and you're ready to leave. –G.

I tossed my phone aside and rolled off the bed onto my feet. I didn't own much. I'd gotten rid of a lot of my things and others had gotten broken during fights. They called it learning to defend myself. I never saw it that way.

Trudging down the stairs quietly, I went to the kitchen to get a drink before I started to pack. Maybe Gavin was right. Leaving here, it would hurt them more than if I ended my life. At least, I'd give it a chance. I promised and maybe I'll be happy. I hadn't been happy in a long time.

"Finally hungry?" Trenton asked from behind me.

I jumped and dropped the glass I had in my hand, causing it to shatter. "Shit! Dammit." I cursed quietly and bent down to pick it up. I'd gotten the big pieces and Trenton returned with the broom to sweep up the little ones.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said.

"It's fine. I'm going to bed," I said quickly and started to leave. Of all the brothers, Trent and I used to be really close. He seemed to be the only one who acknowledged that I was depressed. The rest of them thought I was being a moody teenage girl.

Sleep escaped me again. I'd been having some insomnia since I started high school. Tonight, I took it as a blessing while I packed away my few things into two suitcases and four boxes. I hid them in my closet. Gavin told me to pack light. He'd been saving up for this.

The next afternoon, I pretended to leave but climbed back into my room through the open window. Surprisingly, all the brothers showed up, even Thomas. They all stayed down in the living room, playing poker. I had to bide my time carefully. That left me in a vulnerable position. I could hear them talking, while they thought I was gone.

The typical gossip about me didn't faze me as much anymore. Comments about me being wimpy and unable to fight back like they did. I closed my eyes. They never understood.

"Mom might still be alive," Taylor threw out. There it is. They blamed me for her death.

Tears spilled over as dad said it was the cancer that killed mom but didn't defend me. I knew as well as they did that because mom was pregnant with me, she couldn't undergo the chemo that could have prolonged her life or even saved her all together. Selfish me had to be conceived.

I typed out a message to Trenton's phone through blurry eyes at ten till seven and hit send. I heard him say, "Tess wants us to meet her at that burger joint downtown instead." They all left, grumbling about the change of plans. From my window, I watched them all get into their cars and leave for the last time.

At least I'll be gone.

Gavin's SUV pulled into driveway at exactly seven. I'd already carried the two suitcases and boxes down to the main floor, and then Gavin loaded them into the trunk. He hugged me tight once everything had been packed away. "Let's go, Tess. Before they come looking for you."

"Be right there," I said and went back up the stairs to my room.

It was pretty empty now. I'd ripped my posters off the wall and thrown them into the trashcan. My mirror that had been cracked the last week when I punched it was still sitting on the floor. No one had noticed the cut marks on my hand. I scribbled a note on a piece of paper and left it on my mattress.

No more.

I wouldn't be here for them shove around, trying to toughen me up. Or to blame for mom's death.

I scanned the note again.

Enough.

I'm sorry.

-Tessa

I'm sorry. That was always my response. Tessa, you're so weak. I'm sorry. Tessa, you're such a girl. I'm sorry. She's the reason mom is dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Those two words always muttered from my mouth.

In Gavin's car, I watched the house through the side mirror as we drove away. Trenton's car pulled up first and he jumped out, running inside. Next Thomas's car with dad and the twins, and finally, Travis's bike. Then it was all gone as Gavin turned onto the main highway.

He took my hand with his free one and didn't say anything. I stared out the window, the small town fading away into the distance soon after we were on the interstate. I had no idea where Gavin planned to go but it really didn't matter. Anywhere where would better than here. Six months… Gavin wanted six months to prove that life was worth living. I hoped he was right.