Episode 1: Never Take a Late One

Notes:

Bolds jarring text that interrupts the flow of the story means the narrator(me) is smash the 4th wall like that one Miley Cyrus video, where she's...talking some shit about a wreaking ball.

Some bold and italic text represents thoughts or letters,signs, etcs

Park Mu-Bong-FUCK,I mean...Jin, Park Mu-Jin, sat at his campaign post in the trying to win over the heart and minds of the people, even a snake like Mu-Jin found it extremely difficult to get the people to eat the fruit of his tree of 'knowledge'. The air swayed due to the raise in heat over the past few weeks. Might explain why there are hardly any people out, it's a desert waste land! It didn't seem to bother Mu-Jin, his stare was that of a hawk hunting down a mouse, he was clearly determine to sway the nonexistent crowd of people. To bad they were...nonexistent.

A formally dressed office lady with blue hair stood beside the deep thinker on the outside but broken spirit on the inside. She was clearly bothered by the heat.

"Sir, may I recommend we relocate to a different part of the area...maybe some place cooler?"

The words came from his most trusted assistant and sectary, Judge P. She waits head over heels for him. Because she wants to? Who knows, he doesn't seem to have any money left tho. But never call her his "maid". She gets defensive.

Sweat trickled from P's chin, a sign of this sweltering heat. Now that he realized it, he has been burning up all morning, and seeing her tank through this heat makes it worse on him. He doesn't want people to think he's a slave driver, making a beautiful woman stand out in the hell burning sun.

"Yeah...or maybe we should just call it a day." Mu-Jin said, scratching his temple.

Mu-Jin looked around, noticing the other Judges who were missing.

"W-where the hell did the rest go!?"

P walked up beside Mu-Jin, handing him a note. Confused, he plucked it out of here hand, and began to read.

Dear Mu-Bong-Jin, we decided to just head home, didn't look like you would notice, so we left P this note.

Your's truly, Judges P,O, and S

PS: You're a bastard ~ S

Mu-Jin's face was void of emotion, almost like he was looking at a cryptic message. He just stared at it, P could sense he was furious. The Soulless Sucker.

"That AB Blood bastard..."Mu-Jin whispered to himself in his calmest tone, face and voice.

P could feel the radiating of anger from his body, it burned more than the heat.

"W-why don't we get some sweets...s-sir?"She suggested, clapping her hands together, a gesture similar to asking please.

Mu-Jin calmed his flames and turned towards his sectary.

"Aren't we kinda broke right now...?"He exclaimed in a lazy fashion.

"D...don't worry sir, it'll be my treat."

Mu-Jin stared at P blankly, contemplating this kindness. Of course, in the midst

of his mind, he tried to grasp the interspectrum of which he possibly could not even spell, he searched for answers.

0.003 seconds

If I let her buy anything for me, it'll show that I'm weak!

I must refuse VERY kindly and non asshole-ish like.

0.002 seconds

Not only that, where did she get money!?

What is she trying to gain from this, it's not like I can give her a promotion. Maybe she's just being kind-NO, she'll shoot down your pride.

0.001 seconds

Fuck, I haven't eaten all day, maybe I sho-NOOO, just tank through it Mu-Bon-FUCKFUCKFUCK-I mean JIN.

0.0001 seconds

I've made up my mind, tsundere it! Sometimes I hate being a perfectionist, good bye sweets.

100% sure I fucked up on the counting...anyways.

"No, that's alright, but thank you." Mu-Jin said with a sigh.

"It's n-not like I w-want any sweets or a-anything..."

Why the fuck did I just say that?

P could feel it in the air, his act was clever, but she was sharp.

"Sir...must you always be so self conscious..."P huffed a whisper, thinking out loud to herself with the usual emotionless expression, but the tone of her voice was the complete opposite, her voice seemed like she was holding back her concern for her superior.

Park Mu-Jin heard her of course, she didn't intend him to, but he did. A thought came across her mind that he might have heard her. She gasp softly.

"S-...sorry...s-s-"Her voice was quite, but before she could finish.

He interrupted.

"Hm? Sorry for what, what you say?"He didn't even turn towards her, because if he did, his face would have given away the fact that he heard her.

"N-...nothing." She stood there, the look on her face was like she was mad with herself for slipping up.

All Mu-Jin could wonder is what could she have possibly gain from this knowledge, yeah he was self conscious, yeah he would never allow anyone to see him weak, yeah he'd struggle than let anyone else in. He locks people out because it's better that way.

The former senator ran his right hand through his hair and his other hand in his pocket.

"Lets stop wasting time P, besides, this amazing guy just thought of more ways to win over the people, so don't worry. Not only that, we gotta make more posters."

P was amazed at how dense her superior was.

P sighed,"Yes sir."But I guessed she liked him like that.

She tailed behind her superior, an empty box in hand. She notice the vandalism of the many poster they previously put up. She had been lagging behind cause she stopped to look at some. And she questioned whether mother nature was conspiring against them, cause it was no longer hot and muggy, but rather windy now.

"P..."

At the sound of that, she rushed forward. "Yes sir..."

"I'm surrounded by idiots and crazy people"

An eyebrow raised on her face.

"And which would I fall into sir?"

Mu-Jin kept walking, held his finger up.

"You...you would be crazy, because you are following me to hell knows no end, God knows where, and not even questioning where we might be going."

"That's very pleasing to hear, sir."P's expression, it was like, not bad.

And in all honesty, it was, cause following this bastard was VERY crazy, she even thought of turning and leaving right now.

"I feel the same way..." She said THAT as quite as she could.

She shifted the box from her front to her side. Pondering. As she was stray in thought, so much so she bumped onto Mu-Jin's back, nose first. The sudden impact made her drop the box at hand. She clenched on to her nose.

"OUCH, shit. I'm sorry sir-"she said while rubbing her nose

She notice the box was being blown away.

"-Fuck, *sigh* I'll get it sir-" She was interrupted.

"On second thought.-"

She halted and looked up at her superior, as he turned his head to her slightly.

"You might not be crazy after all, you got a good head on your shoulders."He focused forward and resumed walking.

"Forget the box...we could always get more."

Her face lit up a little, she felt her cheeks,warm. Her face confused.

"T-thank y-y-y-you ...sir?"

P was about to resume walking before she again noticed the box. She used her Maronite threads to get the box anyway, cause...LITTERING IS NO~GOOD.

They had finally reached the old office building MuJin was renting out as their base of operation. Park Mu-Jin took out a loan to paid for it.

God, now he knows he has to repay that gangster, Kim Doo-Shik, before he mutates him with a bat in his sleep. Which is the worst way for a man in his 30 year long lasting virginity.

Wait...wow...30 year old virgin? Really? ...Wow...close to 40. Damn, Mujin destine to die without seeing a naked woman~! HA!

"Don't patronize me narrator, get on with the story..."

Notice he doesn't deny it.~

"You bastard..."

"Sir...w-who are you talking to..." P had a creeped out yet concern look on her face. Like she was looking at a disgusting three legged, abandoned dog. You know, the kind you'd leave piece of bread for, and pray it doesn't follow you home. A look that you'd normally give a virgin man in his 30s who is getting a pot belly, has a receding hairline, and is overall ugly, the type you'd sleep with just once because why not, as long as he doesn't get attached.

"Wait...that description tho. What...what the hell...?"

Role with it Park...or Bak...one of the two. Besides, that might be you.

"Highly unlikely, I'm fit as a fiddle, handsome, and I'd rock the skin head before I let my hairline die..."

Still a virgin who's damn near 40.

"...Pfft...who needs women when I'll have power."

Yeah well you currently have no power in any place...unless you mean your Borrowed Power.

"You bast-..."

"S-SIR! Please stop talking to yourself..."

P didn't like Mujin's smashing of the 4th wall, hell, she didn't even knew it existed. She just sees this crazy fucker arguing with thin air.

"*sigh* Lets just get back to work."

TBC

A/N:The chapter was actually longer, but fuck it, I wanted to get it out now. R&R