A/N - Thank you for the interest so far in this. Any comment or criticism is very much welcomed and fills me with encouragement. I've been reading a lot of the latest suits fanfictions to help recover from that season finale and you're all such wonderful writers. I will try to keep up.

Disclaimer- I unfortunately don't own any part of suits.

Mike had no idea how he had got home until he got to the door of his apartment with Rachel. He was not thinking straight and had gone into some sort of autopilot as his body carried itself, his mind still on overdrive.

He felt the craving for drugs, to switch his mind off for a few days. After all, what did it matter now? He had no reason to keep his life together.

He walked into the apartment, carrying the box with all his life's worth. He placed it on the coffee table and took a moment before heading to the kitchen to face Rachel. She was already waiting for him, drink in hand.

"I heard."

"How?"

"Amy." The word hit Mike harshly. What would happen to her now he no longer had a job? He didn't even bring himself to say goodbye to her, let alone sorry.

"Shit. I didn't even think about what would happen to her."

"Mike you don't need to think about anyone except for you right now."

Mike laughed at the stupidity of the situation. "I don't want to think about me. All I've done is let everyone down. Including you."

He pushed past Rachel, taking a gulp of the drink she passed him. This was going to be a long night.

"You have not let me down." She said it so matter-of-fact. How did he deserve her?

"You don't even know what I've done." There was no point hiding it anymore.

"Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as-" Rachel was grasping at words, trying to sympathise with Mike. He had no idea what she'd done. She needed to tell him so that they could move on.

"As I think? Rachel I lost my job. I lost the takeover. I lost Walter Gillis his company. I cut a deal to sell out the man who gave me a chance in the first place. And to top it all off, the guy who made me do that called me his guy and offered me a job. So what does that make me?" Mike was reeling in his anger at himself. He was despised by his own actions. No longer was he a good guy.

Rachel knew that this was not the right moment. Mike was broken and she really needed to put him back together. If she told him now, it would push him over the edge and totally destroy him. She couldn't bring herself to do it. "It makes you a human being."

She could see the tears in his eyes and approached carefully, embracing him in a hug and allowing him to lean into her, bearing as much of the weight on his shoulders as she could.

Mike gave up on his rant at once. This was what he needed right now. Rachel was what he needed in life. Everything else would work out fine so long as he didn't lose her. He found comfort in running his fingers through her soft brown curls. He'd lost everything but still was lucky enough to have her.

"I don't know what to do," he muttered softly. Never was he so vulnerable and lost than in that moment, which in Mike's case was saying a lot.

"I don't either." Rachel's guilt was eating up at her insides but there was no way she could tell Mike now. "But we don't have to do anything tonight."

Mike barely slept all night. Tossing and turning, he couldn't turn his thoughts down. He always had been a worrier. Fortunately, Rachel also was unable to sleep. He saw the fretting lines on her forehead and felt awful that she was so worried about him.

They had shared a peaceful night together with very few words. Ordered a pizza, had a few drinks to calm themselves down once the reality had settled in and even watched his favourite childhood film 'the lion king' before taking a shower.

But once in bed, he couldn't hide or shelter from the demonic thoughts. At around 3am, he walked into the bathroom, still wide awake. He climbed into the shower in an attempt to relax his tense body. What was he going to do with his life now?

When he returned to the bedroom, Rachel was finally asleep, looking slightly more peaceful. He sat for a few moments, observing her calm state. He'd do anything to protect her and hated the fact that he was the one causing her to worry and be upset. Placing a light kiss on her head and, being careful not to wake her, he climbed into bed. He stuck some earphones in and finally drifted into a disrupted sleep.

He awoke in a panic. Reaching to the other side of the bed, Mike was disappointed to find cold bedsheets. Rachel would be off to work by now of course. He couldn't leave it to her to pay bills when she had law school and collapsed from exhaustion not so long ago. She was still under strict orders to take it easy.

No, he would have to go out to find a job, even though all he wanted was to sit and wallow in despair. Maybe for the time being he could pick back up his bike messenger job. Phil had always been good to him and Mike had always managed to get the job done well, so it was a possibility there would be a position for him available. Of course, that wouldn't last long term. This apartment was considerably more costly than his previous one.

But he wouldn't get anywhere whilst still laid in bed. So Mike forced himself up, made some breakfast and got changed.

He looked at the suits in the wardrobe and thought for a second of Harvey. He was sure the man would be able to pull some tricks with Jessica and get him back on board at Pearson Specter. But Mike had accepted that he now needed a fresh start. He couldn't go back to being a fraud. That constant threat that he was going to be found out. It wasn't his own freedom he was worried about, he'd be putting all those that were practically family to him in danger to. No, he would have to leave his partnership with Harvey out of this. What was it Donna had called them once? Marvey? Those days were firmly stuck in the past.

He put on a fresh pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt instead and headed out into the brisk New York morning, feeling somewhat more at peace now.

It was several hours later that Mike found himself aimlessly strolling the streets. He'd been to a number of places and had had no luck. Phil was full to the brim and wasn't able to offer him any temporary placement but had wished him luck. He had no idea where to go next.

Mike found himself heading towards a much busier area, in the exact direction of the skyscrapers where Pearson Specter was located. He wanted to meet Rachel for lunch but was torn as didn't want to bump into Harvey at all or anyone else that he previously worked with for that matter. He needed inspiration though. In the distance, the coffee cart guy was slyly conducting business. How was it he could be so successful when Mike was here struggling to get a fast food job? Mike was tempted to call it a day and head home despite the fact it was barely afternoon.

Then he realised a car pulling up alongside. He groaned internally when the window rolled down to reveal Forstman.

"How's the job hunting going?" the older man asked in a condescending voice. Mike sensed his laugh.

"What do you want Forstman?" He might as well just get to the point.

"Now you don't want my money it's Forstman? Not Mr? What happened to the little shit that approached me in a coffee shop with his hands down."

"You realise that you don't deserve any respect." Mike reminded himself that this was the guy who had sold him out to Sidwell.

"I don't need your respect. I need an answer on my job offer," Forstman smirked.

Mike schooled his expression to not look confused. "I thought I was pretty clear."

"You're mouth said one thing, let's see what your eyes have to say." Forstman passed Mike a slip of paper that he didn't have to look at to know was a cheque. He reluctantly took it out of curiosity. As he did so he thought his eyes were at first deceiving. "A million dollars." He was questioning Forstman's motives. What did he have to offer worth a million dollars? "Is this a joke?"

"It's your signing bonus." Forstman was smiling ear to ear now. "Are you ready to come work for me now?"

"I thought I was an obsequious little shit?" Mike opted for humour.

Forstman chuckled, "You are. But so was I at your age, and look what happened to me."

Mike would be lying if he wasn't tempted. He currently had very few options and this was by far better than the rest. A million dollars would secure his and Rachel's future and more. He could afford her law school. She would no longer have to work such long hours. Still he thrust the cheque back through the window. "You could make it 10 million Charles, I don't want your money." He wouldn't trust this rat again.

"The offer is one. And that's where it stands. You have a day. Then if you decide not to take the offer, I will know you're not only an asshole: you're a fool." And with that he drove off leaving Mike stood stupidly on the side of the kerb. He glanced at the cheque one last time in disbelief before shoving it in his pocket and heading back towards the coffee cart guy.