Playlist
Crazy bitch: Buck Cherry
Bitter sweet Symphony: The Verve
Still Into It: Paramore
AN: Thanks to everyone for the reviews and follows it means a lot. Please voice your opinion and tell me what you think. It helps me improve my writing and keep the charcters well… in character. *laughs. We'll get a peek into Opie's noggin in this chapter.
I wanted her to have a better life. Knowing that's she still suffered because of me when I made the call to let her go, makes me feel like shit ~ Opie
Chapter Four
Jillian
I watch as Piney drives off in my car, and a prospect follows him. We decided it'd be best if Jax takes me to the cabin solo. I trust Leo and Piney to be okay until I get back to them. It'll do him good to spend some one on one time with his Grandfather. I wanted to go alone, but Jax insisted he needed to be there to play mediator until he's sure Opie wouldn't kill me. The thought chilled her from the inside out.
What happened to my gentle giant? Being on the back of Jax's bike feels wrong. I begrudgingly wrap my arms around him. He takes off, and the wind tugs at my hear. I lean into the curves as we wind our way up the road leading up to the cabins. My heart beats a staccato, and my mind runs over scenarios. I've thought about this moment so many times over the years. The days has come, and all I wanted to do is run. We pull up in front of th cabin, and my mouth goes dry. "You ready for this, girl?" Jax asks.
"Ready as I'll ever be," I whisper.
"Better get your shit together. I have no clue what we're walking into here. Last time I barely got him to open the door and what showed up was a broken being."
He cuts the engine, and I scrambled off. I'm jittery like I downed too many expresso shots. Jax walks up the path, and I follow behind him. He climbs the porch and pounds on the wood.
"Op, it's me, brother, open up," Jax calls.
The silence stretches out. I begin to worry. What if he hurt himself? Would he do that?
He pounds again. "Ain't going away until I see you, man. You know I'll break this shit down if I have to. Got someone you need to talk to out here."
"Fucking leave it, brother. You want to know I'm alive? Here's your proof."
I place my hand on Jax's shoulder and step forward. His methods aren't working. Just beyond the wood is the man I've sacrificed everything for. My hands tremble. Excitement and nerves meld and swirl together like a chocolate and vanilla ice cream cone.
"Think you can open it for a ghost from your past?" I ask.
Heavy footsteps sound. The door flies open. I stumble inside, righting herself. His face is pale against his auburn hair. His eyes are wide, and his lips are parted. He blinks. His mouth opens and closes. Holy Mother, he grew up well. The boy I loved is a man. A manly man. The lumber jack biker look has my panties wet. I am so fucked up.
"Jilly?" His voice is hoarse and full of pain.
"Hey, Op." My voice cracks I clear my throat. "I heard you could use a friend."
"Who… what?" He shakes his head. His nose wrinkles up, and I can all but see the wheels spinning in his brain. "You?" He points at Jax. His silver rings catch the sun.
"Don't be mad, Piney called. We uh –we have some things we need to talk about," I say.
"Is this for real? Have I finally fucking lost it?" Opie muttered, sounding lost. He tilts his head and studies me.
"No brother, she's as real as you and me," Jax says.
"I can't do this shit with you right now Jill. You got the world's worst timing." He runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the unkempt strands. His voice is soft. I cling to the almost tender moment before the bomb drops.
"Tough shit. You have to," I say, taking an antagonistic role. Cuddling him won't move him.
"You left and disappeared off the fucking earth for all this time. I had no clue if you were okay, where you were. Now you want to make demands?" He furrows his brow and scowls.
His words are a punch to the gut. He still cared back then. What about now? I squash the hope blooming up inside me. "We have a son," I blurt.
He stills. "What did you just say?" The fury in his voice is scary.
"We have a son, his name is Leo and he's sixteen years old," I say, rushing ahead beore he can cut me off.
"Bullshit." Opie roars. He rushes forward, grabbing my forearms and shakes me. I feel like a doll as my head rattles on my neck.
Jax steps in and grips his shoulder. "Whoa, brother. Calm down before you do some shit you can't take back. I saw him, kids definitely yours."
Opie stops. I take the moment to pull free of his hold and walk away, deeper into the cabin. The smell of alcohol assaulted my nose. I take in the interior for the first time. The place lay in ruins, Overturned chairs, broken glass, and broken relics lie scattered across the floor. The utter destruction of a place he once held so dear steals the breath from my lugs. I turn and find myself facing down a fire breathing dragon. Opie's nostrils flare. His gaze bores holes into my flesh. His chest rises and falls rapidly. A vein in his neck pulses. Rage emanates from him like heat from an erupting volcano.
My nipples go hard. I'm turned on and terrified at the same time.
"You have some fucking nerve. I thought I knew you," he says.
"You chose," I scream, finally losing my shit.
"So this is some bitter bitch thing? You kept my son from me because I stayed with Donna?"
"No. I did it, so you didn't have to choose. I didn't want that to sway you and besides you were in a fucking insane war with the One-Niners. You think they wouldn't hold this against you? Against the club? I was already their number one target. I bled for you, Winston, and I did it without complaint. But that was never going to be my child." I ball my hands into fists. "I did the best thing for you and your club. Isn't that what you wanted me to do? Be the perfect old lady?" Anger explodes. I shove him.
The muscles in his jaw tick. His face turns beet red. His hands come up and wrap around my neck. He pins me against the wall. No pressure is applied. The tremor of his body sets me on edge. "I let you go because you had a chance at something better. It wasn't a matter of love. For once in my miserable life I thought with my head. Donna was in too deep. Her connections were known. You- you could go anywhere, be anything and thrive. I wanted that for you. I loved you enough to let you go, because I knew you deserved better." His thumb strokes my pulse point.
"Well fuck you very much for making that decision for both of us," I say nastily.
We're locked in a starring contest full of malice and distrust. It sickens her. We've become the exact opposite of what we once were.
Opie
My first mistake was thinking life couldn't get any worse. It left me open for the shaky ground I stand on to continue to crumble. The brown-skinned woman in my grasp is so different from the girl I once loved. Her hips are fuller, her breasts are larger, and her eyes are harder, tired. It tears me up. Everything I did was for nothing. I let her go and it hurt us both in the long run. Whatever life she's lived obviously hasn't been smooth sailing. We need to be alone and talk. I understand that. Problem is, right now I can't decide if he want to kill her or fuck her. What an asshole. Donna isn't even cold in the ground. My stomach sours.
It was no secret, Donna never cared for the club. Not really. Not the way an old woman should. Stupidly, I thought I'd be able to change her mind. That she'd come around, but I'd been dead wrong. This woman in front of me had been down for me and Samcro. Which is why I can't help but believe her now.
"The hell am I going to do with you, Jilly?" I whisper, unable to hold onto the killing rage I first felt.
"Whatever it takes to make you okay with Leo." Her lower lip trembles.
I release her and box her in, placing my arms on either side of her head as I support my weight. "He hate me?" I ask.
"No, I told him straight up this was my call and had nothing to do with you. That I thought it would be safer."
I lean in and touch our foreheads. "Why'd you take this all on yourself? This is fucking crazy."
"Because it needed to be done. I couldn't see any other way, and I know your stubborn ass wouldn't have listened to anyone when they told you the same thing I already realized."
"It wasn't your call to make, Gotdamnit it." I growl. "I want to meet him."
"You will. He's here, and he's excited. I wouldn't – I made sure of that."
I can't cycle through my emotions fast enough to understand them. "Brother, we're going to need a minute," I say.
"Uh. I don't know if that's such a good idea, man," Jax says. I can't blame him. We're just as liable to duke it out right now as we are to talk peacefully.
"We'll be fine," Jill says, never breaking eye contact. That small act of trust, soothes the best raging inside me.
"Alright. I'm going to be just outside," Jax says. His footsteps faded away, and the front door closes.
"Fuck. I didn't want this for you," I whisper. It's my fault Donna died. My stomach plummets. The same shit would not happen to Jill or my boy. I'll make sure of that shit. My guilt doubles. I loved the fuck out of Donna. She was my first love, the person I lost my virginity to and learned how to care for a woman with. But she was never my heart. Not the way she should've been. Now the woman who tatted her name on my blood pumping organ is back. The weakness I thought I carved out rises up and I surrender, grateful to feel something other than despair. I slam my mouth down on hers, biting her full bottom lip, hard. She moans, opening her mouth, and I thrust my tongue inside.
She's sweet and juicy like a ripe peach. Her tongue tangles with mine and she presses her breast against me. The hardened points grazed my bare chest. A monster rips free. Donna and I hadn't been intimate in months. Our relationship had been held together by a tether, and nothing I did was right. Now I have a woman hot and ready for me. I'm weak. I grip her hips and lifted her up. She wraps her long legs around me, and I grind into her center.
The heat rolling from her core makes him grunt. She runs her nails down my neck, and I fist her hair. There's nothing gentle about the brutal mouth mating. Our teeth clash. I eat her mouth. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth. Wither its mine or hers, I can't say, but it has my dick hard. Suddenly, all I can think about is being inside her again. Moving away from the wall, I stumble through the cabin and into my room. Falling to the bed with her on top, I drink her in with my eyes as I continue to fuck her mouth with mine.
The years were kind. I rolled us over and disconnect our lips.
"Off," I grab the edge of her shirt. She lifts her arms, and I yank it up over her head. "Shit, Jilly." Her breasts are twice the size they were. Presented like a present in her lacy black bra., the twins have me drooling.
"Having a baby will do that to you." She says with a laugh.
It hits me. She had my child. Her belly is fit, but not ripped. The stretch marks don't detract from her looks. For me, they enhance them. She was permanently marked bringing my boy into the world. My first born. I latch onto a dark nipple through the lace, and fumble with her jeans. Popping a button, I slide my hand inside. Her heated liquid coats my fingers, and I moan. I thrust a finger into her entrance. She arches off the bed, and I work another finger inside her, marveling at her tightness.
"Shit, you're so fucking tight, Jilly."
"Oh, Harry." she whimpers.
"That's right. I'm the one making you feel like this." I angle my fingers and circle her swollen clit. She cries out, bucking as her walls clamp around my fingers. She spurts, and I groan in appreciation. I forgot how fun it was to play with her pussy.
"Everything okay in here? It's too quiet." Jax yells.
They sensual spell we wove breaks.
"Shit," I say.
"We can't do this right now. Jesus, shit. What was I thinking?" she rolls away, straightening her clothes. "One minute with you and I forget everything."
The feelings mutual. Not one to waist things, I suck my fingers into her mouth and taste her, damning us both.