Hardcore Heaven (Chapter 2)

*Bell rings*

Justin Roberts: The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one fall.

(Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! At the Disco plays)

Justin Roberts: Introducing first, from Springfield, Illinois, Lisa Simpson. *Crowd boos loudly*

(Dirty Work by Halestorm plays)

Justin Roberts: And her tag team partner, from Union City, New Jersey, Louise Belcher. *Crowd boos loudly*

Scott: Well ladies and gentleman, the first of two pre-show matches for tonight. Lucy Heartfilia and Sue vs. Lisa Simpson and Louise Belcher, in an attempt to recover from what we have witnessed just a few minutes ago.

Bob: If you saw what we saw earlier, than you saw Dipper being brutally assaulted by this new group called the NOW, and two of them will be in the tag team battle royal later on in the show.

JR: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, and if you heard the response from TWAE owner, Charles Roberts, he and Impact GM Vegeta will be taking action against Chris Drahmin and the NOW for destroying their TV title and Dipper.

*Lisa and Louise get microphones*

Lisa: Well, well, well. We're finally here. In this disgusting old building known as the Hammerstein Ballroom. Home of some of the most despicable moments in wrestling, such as the crucifixion of the Sandman, the Mass Transit incident caused by New Jack, and many, many others. The fact that you moronic mouth breathers choose to cheer these actions is nothing short of infantile and pathetic. *Crowd boos even louder and chants "Fuck you Lisa"

Louise: You can say whatever you want, but you know it's true. In fact, we are elated that we won't be partaking in anything "extreme" just to make you bunch of nobodies happy. But, we will show Sue and Lucy how to be extreme without weapons.

Lisa: And maybe if Paul Heyman knew that, you're company wouldn't have been brought by Vince McMahon. You're welcome.

(Immortals by Fall Out Boy plays)

Justin Roberts: And their opponents, from Magnolia, Sue and Lucy Heartfilia. *Crowd cheers*

*Bell rings*

Sue hits a couple of knife edge uppercuts on Louise and throws her into the corner. Sue then hits a corner clothesline and a Samoan Drop on Louise and tags Lucy into the match. Lucy punches Louise in the face until Louise goes into the ropes. Louise then kicks Lucy in the legs, but Lucy counters with some leg kicks of her own. Louie then pokes Lucy in the eye and tags Lisa into the match. Lisa attempts to hit a clothesline, but Lucy counters into a tilt a whirl backbreaker and goes for the pin.

Ref: 1…2

Lisa kicks out and goes into the corner, which allows Lucy to hit an enziguri in the corner. When Lucy is about to perform a 10 punch salute, Louise distracts her, allowing Lisa to drop Lucy onto the turnbuckle and hit her with a neckbreaker. Lisa then goes for the pin.

Ref: 1…2

Lucy kicks out and Lisa responds by stomping on Lucy until the referee pulls her off. When the referee's back was turned, Louise hits a knee to Lucy's head.

Scott: The team of Lisa and Louise showing some aggression.

Bob: Well, my daughter did learn from the best

JR: Oh, give me a break. Anyway, let's go back to the action, as Lisa has Lucy in a headlock.

Lucy was trying to fight out of the headlock, but Lisa kept kneeing Lucy in the face to keep her form fighting out. Lisa then drags Lucy to her corner and tags Louise into the match. Louise hits a suplex on Lucy and starts dropping knees on Lucy's face. Louise then mocks ECW Original Tommy Dreamer by beating her chest and hitting a DDT on Lucy, which the crowd responded to by throwing things inside the ring.

Bob: Hey someone tells these people that they might hurt someone

JR: With paper cups and towels? Who would be hurt by things like that?

Bob: It's a precaution. We have 4 talented female wrestlers in the ring, and these idiots are throwing garbage into the ring.

Louise then flips the crowd the bird in response to the trash, and goes for a cannonball to Lucy in the corner, but Lucy rolls out of the way. Lisa and Sue are both asking for tags, and Lucy and Louise are able to tag in their partners. Sue hits 2 clotheslines, a jumping clothesline, and a Michinoku Driver on Louise and goes for the pin.

Ref: 1…2

Scott: Sue, like a house of fire, going after Louise with a flurry.

Bob: Come on Louise, you can do it!

JR: Don't get all bias on us, Bob.

Sue then hits a clothesline on Lisa and turns her attention back to Louise. Louise kicks Sue in the leg, and tries to turn her over for the Louise Lock (Walls of Jericho). Sue, however, pushes Louise off of her, and hits a Spear on Louise. Sue then goes into the corner to set up her finisher, the Superman Punch, but Lucy distracts Sue.

Bob: What is Lucy doing? Sue has the match won.

Lucy then grabs Sue's arm, and hits a hotshot on the ropes with that arm. Then, she goes to the ring, while Sue was kneeling down holding her arm in pain, and hits a kneeling Superkick to her face. Lucy then walks off, and stays at ringside to watch what happens.

JR: Sue was just attacked by her own partner. What the hell is Lucy thinking?

Scott: I have no idea, but Louise just got up, and is just as confused as we are.

Louise gets up to see Sue down, and Lucy just watching from in front of the announcer's table. Louise then tags Lisa in. Lisa then picks Sue up, and hits a Quick Thinking (Codebreaker) on Sue and pins her.

Ref: 1…2…3

*Bell rings*

Justin Roberts: Here are your winners, Louise Belcher and Lisa Simpson. *Crowd boos loudly*

Bob: My daughter and her friend pick up the win, with assistance from Lucy.

Lucy then comes back into the ring, and locks in the Lock and Key (Cross Armbreaker) on Sue. A bunch of referees try to pull her off, but she just keeps the pressure applied.

JR: Oh come on! Enough of this! Somebody stop her!

Scott: Lucy trying to make a statement by breaking the arm of Sue.

Lucy eventually lets go, takes a dollar bill, and puts it in Sue's mouth before grabbing a microphone.

Lucy: I'm just going to tell you this so I don't have to waste my breath later. I just attacked this peasant because she, like all of you, isn't worth my time. I mean, I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm talented, and most importantly, I'm rich. I don't need to keep pandering to all you peasants. And some next week, I'll be the inaugural Women's champion. See you there, Sue, if you can make it there, that is.

*Back to the Pre-Show panel*

Naoko: That was a great point by Lucy. You're not going to get anywhere in this business by pandering to these idiots.

Benson: Whatever you say. Anyway, we have the Diva's title match coming up, who's your pick. Mine is Rei. This new attitude of her's, I think, is going to help her fight the odds she has to overcome tonight.

Andy: I'll have to agree with you there, Benson. Rei has been very impressive these past couple of weeks, and I think that that is going to translate into the victory here tonight.

Naoko: Well, I disagree with both of you. Asuka has the advantage when it comes to the numbers game and brutality. I have to give my vote to her. What abut you, Ritsuko?

Ritsuko: I don't know. I honestly want to see Rei win, but with the Beautiful People out at ringside, you have to believe that Asuka has the edge in this match.

Benson: Well, we're even in this, what about the US title fatal-4-way? My pick is that Shinji retains.

Naoko: Why?

Benson: He's been a fighting champion, and even though he lost in the BITW tournament, he put up a hell of a fight, and it's that resiliency that will help him win here tonight.

Andy: Well, I hate to disagree with you, Benson, but I think that the extreme rules stipulation best helps Homer Simpson. I mean with his gigantic frame, and weapons on his side, this may not even be a challenge for him.

Benson: That is a fair point but…

Naoko: That sounds dumb. You think that that idiotic buffoon knows how to even use these weapons. My pick is on Kaworu. He knows Shinji better than most people do, and that will help him pick up the victory here tonight.

Ritsuko: Well, I think that Duncan has an edge, as he has been in the ring with all three of these men, and can use any underhanded tactic in the book to help him achieve victory here tonight.

Benson: Well, as much as I would love to argue about this some more, we have another match coming up, one half of the BTWF tag team champions, Ed takes on Bender. Let's go to ringside now.

*Back to ringside*

*Bell rings*

Justin Roberts: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

(Get Up! By Korn plays)

Justin Roberts: Making his way to the ring, from New York City, Bender. *Crowd gives a mixed reaction*

(Time to Shine by Saliva plays)

Justin Roberts: And his opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Ed. *Crowd cheers*

*Bell rings*

Ed immediately goes after Bender with elbows and forearms. Bender tries to escape, but Ed grabs onto him and hits a back suplex followed by a knee to the back. Ed then irish whips Bender into the corner, and hits a running shoulder block. Ed then tried to go for the running hip attack, but Bender rolls out of the ring. Ed then goes up to the top rope, and hit Bender with a double ax handle.

Scott: Wow! We don't see high flying often from Ed.

Bob: But when he does, it's effective.

Ed then scoop slams Bender on the concrete before throwing him back into the ring. Ed then goes back to the top rope, and attempts a splash, but Bender puts his knees up, and once he gets up, he throws Ed into the steel ring post. Bender then rolls Ed up.

Ref: 1…2

Ed kicks out and Bender puts Ed into the corner and starts punching him. Bender then hits a running boot to the corner and hits Ed with a gutbuster. Bender then puts Ed into a Half Boston Crab. Ed is able to pull himself to the ropes. Bender let's go of the hold, and attempts a suplex, but Ed counters it into a Gourdbuster.

JR: What a counter by Ed! That should give Ed time to recover.

Bender and Ed both get up at the same time, and they start exchanging punches with each other. Ed gets the advantage and hits an ax handle, a big boot, and a running senton on Bender. Ed then positions himself for the Flipping the Tables (One Handed Spinebuster), but Bender counters with a spinning kick to Ed's face. Bender then goes for the pin.

Ref: 1…2

Ed kicks out and Bender started to argue with the referee, and Ed counters with a crucifix roll up.

Ref: 1…2

Bender kicks out and knees Ed in the gut before running at him. Ed counters it into a back body drop and once again prepares to hit the Flipping the Tables (One Handed Spinebuster). But at that moment, Fry comes to ringside and distracts the ref. Ed tries to get the ref's attention back on the match, but Bender low blows him and picks him up for the Back Bender (Argentine Backbreaker). Bender then hits it and goes for the pin.

Ref: 1…2…3

*Bell rings*

Justin Roberts: Here is your winner, Bender. *The crowd still gives a mixed reaction, but there are more boos than before*

Scott: Well, Bender is victorious here tonight, but with no small help from Fry.

Bender and Fry then pick Ed up and hit him with the Beating of the Future (Full Nelson Slam/Powerbomb combination) before leaving.

Bob: Well, those two sent another powerful statement.

*Back to the pre-show panel*

Benson: Well, that was a great match but…

*Chris Drahmin walks on the pre-show panel*

Chris: Hello. Am I interrupting?

Naoko: No sir. Just Benson's stupid spiels. What do you want with us, sir?

Chris: Oh, noting from you, I just wanted to show the viewers at home something.

*Chris takes out the destroyed TWAE TV title and a trash can*

Chris: You see, this title, represented Dipper and his career. Now that Dipper has been destroyed, and I have heard no word from Charlie about Mabel having a match on Octane, I just wanted to give this title the burial it deserves.

*Chris then throws the title into the trash can*

Chris: But, why just leave it to rot and decay in a trash can? When we can really make an impact?

*Chris pours lighter fluid into the trash can, and pulls out a lighter*

Chris: This fire not only represents the death of the TWAE, but the rebirth of the BTWF.

*Chris drops the match into the trash can, which erupts into a fire*

Chris: As you were

*Chris leaves while the rest of the panelists are looking on in shock*

Ritsuko: Well, ladies and gentlemen, up next, we have Hatchin returning from her 60 day suspension.