Chapter 9

Family

AN:

I'm sorry it took so long to get this out. I went through a bad case of writer's block. Trying to force the words began to turn something I loved into something I hated. So I had to take a break, step away, and now I'm back. Thank you all for your patience and support.

OPIE

The room seems to get smaller with every minute that passes. I'm about to meet my firstborn son for the first time. The miracle I created with Jilly. I close my eyes battling back the headache that's threatening to form. I want it all out in the open. One thing I've learned is this; secrets were poison. No matter what your intentions were, the toxin spreads out and caused pain and destruction. I'll have a few hours with Leo, and then mom will bring over Ellie and Kenny. Those two deserve to know the truth, and it's past time I get my shit together.

"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you keep this up," Jill says.

I look over at her and experience a mixed bag of emotions. I'm happy she's back. She's always had a knack for balancing me out. The minute she stepped into Charming I rediscovered my purpose and remembered who I was before the club spiraled and took Donna down with it. I've been off the reservation for months, and now …she's grounded me. Initially, the anchor had been anger. Now it's more. I would never take back my marriage with Donna. That would erase Ellie and Kenny, but damn did I wonder what if.

Jill had always been down for the club. She wouldn't have cut off all contact the way Donna did. I can't compare the two.

"There's a lot riding on this," I say through clenched teeth.

She rises from the couch and walks over to me, placing a gentle hand on my arm. "He's excited about this Harry. He's been waiting for this moment over the years. There's no resentment for him. He knows this was on me."

"Why would you do that?" I ask, still stunned by her willingness to place herself up on the chopping block.

"Because it was my call. The mess we're in now was made by my own hands. I'm woman enough to take full responsibility for that. "

"Why didn't you come clean before now, Jillian? You've had over sixteen years."

She shakes her head. "Wasn't the right time. I was planning on waiting until he was eighteen when he was old enough to properly protect himself, or at the least learn how to. I showed him the ropes. I taught him to shoot, I tried to instill him with loyalty, integrity, and family. I kept him as close to Piermont as I could. I know it doesn't make up for anything. You lost out on years of his life. But I saw how happy you were with Donna, and once you two got engaged. I just couldn't come in and fuck that up."

"You know that was one of the things that always pissed me off. You're always so busy thinking about everyone else's needs, you throw yourself under the bus. For that reason alone, I know you raised our boy well. There'd be nothing you wouldn't do to give him everything he needed. I won't lie and say I'm okay with what you did, but for the sake of this fractured family, we're going to work through it side by side."

"You sure you want to bring Ellie and Kenny into this now?" she asks. The genuine concern in her face assures me I'm doing the right thing.

"They've had enough loss recently. I thought an addition to be happy about would be a welcome surprise … once the shock wears off."

"They're going to hate me, "Jill whispers looking down.

"Hey." I grabbed her chin and forced her to meet my gaze. "I'd never let that happen. Their anger has everything to do with losing their mother, and it's spilling out onto everything. Don't take it personally. You hear me?"

"Yeah. I hear you, Op."

I grunt. She did that a lot, deflected with a half-ass response. I blame her parents and their quest for perfection. It always made her feel like she wasn't' good enough. Anger flares. I always wanted to knock the rich fucks down a peg or ten. A car pulled into the driveway.

"They're here."

"Take a deep breath and be yourself," she says as she moves around me to answer the door. I wipe my clammy palms on the pants of my jeans and watch as the familiar barrel chest and unruly hair step through the door. Pop stops and hugs Jilly. He places a kiss on her cheek. The affection between them is palpable. He steps inside, and I catch my first glimpse of Leo. With his light brown skin, hazel eyes, tall frame and angular face, he's the perfect mixture of the two of them. The boy smiles and my heart damn near stops. Now that's all his mother. I can see myself in his feature sand the red tinted hair.

"Hi," Leo said.

"Hi," I say, unsure where to go next.

"What do you say we make ourselves scarce, and let these two have a moment?" Dad says.

Panic hits. I glance over at Jilly. She flashes me a reassuring smile, and I clear my throat as they disappear into the kitchen.

"If I had known about you. I would've been in your life."

Leo smiles and nod. " I know, my mom told me. One thing my mom doesn't do is lie."

"Good, that's important to me, that you know that."

Leo nods. "So, what happens now?"

"Well. I'd like you to stay and get to know your brothers and sisters. You have a family here and a place to belong. I want to introduce you to that world. "

"and Mom's okay with that? I mean what about her jobs and our place back home" he asks.

The words jobs makes me frown. How many was she working?

"Your Mom has agreed to let me steer the family ship for awhile. After all, she's had sixteen years, so I think it's only fair."

"Is she just going to leave me here?" He asked.

"No, she'd never do that. She's going to stay here too." She just doesn't know it yet.

"Mom just agreed to that?" Leo asks skeptically.

"We're still ironing out the details, but we both agree it's time you learn about your roots here."

" It'd be nice to see Mom get a break too. She's always working two, sometimes three jobs," Leo said with a sigh.

"Well, all of that is over. She's not doing it alone anymore. The club takes care of its own, and both of you are family." I place a hand on his shoulder. "Understand?"

His brow furrowed. "I think so. It's just such a foreign concept, having someone to help us."

My son's words hurt. He'd missed out on everything I love most about the club.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I ask.

"What happened with you and Mom?" he whispers.

I sigh. "I let her go to give her a better life. I never knew you were a possibility. The club comes with its pluses and minuses. It can be dangerous. There are people out there who want to take what we have. Battles break out. Sometimes there's blowback."

"Blowback?" he asks.

"Retribution. See…. I dated my wife before I ever knew your mother. We broke up when my mom took me a few towns over."

"Then you met mom?" He asks.

"I did, and my life changed for the better. I was an angry kid. My parents didn't get along, and my mother hated Dad after the divorce. I became a tool she used to try to hurt him. I resented it. When she forced me to leave against my will, and tried to keep me from the club I rebelled. Your mother she's got a magic way about her. She brought me calm and clarity. I loved her hard."

"So why did you break up?"

"Somethings happened that made me believe she'd be safer without me. I wanted her to have a chance at a regular, successful life far away from Charming."

"Backfired." His son's face darkened. "She's worked so hard my entire life, at times, I felt guilty. She's too smart to be bartending in strip clubs during the night and in retail or whatever else she could get her hands on during the day. "

"I'm sorry kid. Best I can do is promise you she will never have to do that again."

Leo sighs. I like his attitude toward Jilly. He's protective, and considerate, the way a good son should be. I learned that from watching Gemma and Jax. 'Cause my example was piss poor, to say the least.

"How about we take a seat kid. I'm sure you have a lot of questions. I do as well." We sat down side by side, and I got to know my son.

"You don't do anything by halves, do you?" Dad asks.

"Might as well get it all out of the way. Leo's been a secret long enough. I won't ask him to hide himself for any longer," I say watching Jilly and Leo talk on the back porch as they wait for me to break the news to the kids.

"I'm proud of the way you're handling this."

"How'd you know this is what I needed, Pop?"

"That girl always had a way of getting you to pull your head out of your ass. I loved Donna. But she had no love for this club. Jilly was always different. Let her help you ease Leo into our world and help with the kids."

"You playing matchmaker, old man?" I ask with a scowl. "Donna's barely cold—

"One thing we both know is life is short and fleeting. She's not some new piece of ass that's come on the scene. Look at me and tell me you haven't carried her in your heart and your mind all these years."

I shake my head. "You know I can't."

"Eventually, you'll have to give her reason to stay if that's what your aiming for."

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing, Pop. Last thing I need to worry about is a relationship."

"Maybe not, but staying out all hours, sleeping with those crow eaters, and living on the road has to stop. You had your time to mourn and get your head right. Those kids need you and Mary told me she's done caring for him."

"What?"

"Yeah, said she was done parenting years ago. She's not going to start back up now."

"Fucking figures," I mumble shaking my head.

"Those are your kids. All three of them. It's time for you to step up and be the Father they deserve."

"Yeah, I hear you Pop."

"Good, 'cause here comes your bitch of a mother now."

I chock on my laughter. There's no love lost between the two of them, and at this point, their bickering is legendary and amusing.

I crack my neck and my knuckles as she pulls into the driveway, and the kids climb out. I open the front door and kneel relishing the feel of their bodies as they hug me tight.

"I missed you guys," I say.

"We missed you too Daddy," Kenny says.

Ellie pulls away and studies me carefully. "Are you here to stay, Dad?"

"Yes, Daddy had some things to work out. I'm sorry I left you two like that, but I didn't want my anger to spill over onto you. I couldn't be the parent I needed to be then. I can now."

She seemed to accept the answer as she returns my hug. She's a lot like Donna. You had to show her in order for her to believe you. Words do little. I'd hurt her badly when I went away to prison. Kenny was too little to remember anything else. Reconnecting with him was easier in many ways for that reason. I'd just gotten Ellie back when Donna was killed. Now I'm back at ground zero.

Well stand, and I lead them to the couch.

"Dad has something he wants to talk to you about," I say.

"What, Daddy?" Kenny asked, cheerfully.

The distrust in Ellie's eyes slays me.

"Before I was with your mom. I had another girlfriend. You've asked me about her before. She's in some of the older pictures with me and Uncle Jax. Her name was Jilly"

"She was black, right Daddy? Because you taught us it's all about what the person's like on the inside, not the outside." Ellie whispers softly.

I grin. "That's right. Well. I just found out, that Daddy and Jilly had a baby."

They both gasp.

"Just now?" Ellie asked." The anger in her eyes was all me.

"No baby, before Mommy and Daddy were together. A boy named Leo, he's sixteen now."

"So- we have a brother?" Kenny asks

I nod. "That's right."

Ellie jumped off the couch. "Why?"

"Because Daddy wasn't as careful as he should be—

"No, why is she telling you now?" Ellie says.

"Because Pop asked her too. They've kept in contact. She raised Leo by herself because he wanted Mommy and Daddy to be happy."

"But he didn't have a Dad," Ellie whispered. The sadness in her eyes speaks to Donna's gentle temperament. She did such a good job with our children.

"I know. But we know sometimes we make sacrifice for those we love. She thought this was best for all of us."

Ellie shook her head. "I know this is a lot to take in, but I don't want you to try to keep an open mind. They just came to Charming and they want to get to know us. Jilly was once my best friend, like Uncle Jax long before we dated, and she's going to pitch in while she's here.

"She's staying here?" Ellie says.

"I'd like her to. I'd like to blend our families. We want you guys to be close. We've lost enough recently. I figured gaining a brother would be a good thing."

Ellie's face flushes.

"I'm just asking you to give it a go, Ellie."

"Okay, Dad," she says softly.

I hug her close to his side. "There's my girl. I'll go have them come in now," I say knowing we're precariously balanced on a ledge. With a little luck and a lot of patience, we might make it through. "You two stay here."

I move from the couch quickly , before they can change their minds. Kenny's more like his old man. He'll study everyone and take it all in before he decides how he feels.

"I ain't heard screaming of things slamming, so I'm guessing they took it okay," Pop says when I step out back.

"As well as it could I suppose. You two ready to come in?" I ask.

Jilly nods. I watch her rub Leo's back before they stand up and smile. It's clear they both adore each other. I led them inside.

"Kenny, Ellie, this is your brother, Leo, and his mother Jilly."

I hold my breath and watch as the children study one another. Their two halves of the same coin. Light and Dark, old and young, brunette, and red-haired. But I can see the similarities, especially with the boys. Jilly smiled.

"Hi guys, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Hi, Ms…

"Jilly will be just fine I think," she said.

"Hi, Ms. Jilly," Kenny and Ellie said in the polite way drilled into them since birth.

'Hi, I uh-guess I'm your big brother," Leo said with a silly smile.

My heart lightens. I have my entire family under one roof, and no one's dead yet. I'm counting it as a win.