CHAPTER 19

Cover my eyes
Cover my ears
Tell me these words are a lie

At Crater Lake a disjointed soul sat under a large oak tree.

Adam sat there with his knees tucked into his chest as he tried to think, but truth be told he couldn't. He had been at the lake for the entire day he had yet to return to the farm. More to the point he couldn't go back after what he had done.

The kryptonite had completely wore off now and what deeply saddened him that the doors and locks in his mind returned also. He also was relieved as the little parts of the previous day were still lingering in his fragile mind. He now realized that having these emotions or more to the fact his emotions were dangerous and all that ends up is hurting people.

His hands clutched his head as he was reminded how many people he had hurt yesterday. There was Clark he had said some hurtful things to his brother which he did not intend to say out loud. Also making the situation between Clark and Lois more strained and there feelings for one another. He had also hurt Lex by taking advantage of Lana's advances under the Red-K and he knew Lex would not forgive him for that. Lana however he realized was as guilty as he was and held no remorse for her actions.

The last person he thought of the most which he felt an ache in his heart which he had never felt before. He felt he had hurt her most and the pain and tears that he saw on her face last night was the worse feeling he had ever felt. But as he look out to the lake as he watched the calm ripples of the water brushing against the boardwalk, he now felt an even worse pain that before as he now was realizing what he had now done.

He had lost Chloe.

It cant be true
That I'm losing you
The sun cannot fall from the sky

In the Talon 2 cousins sat across each other on there respective sofas with both coffee mugs held tightly in there by there face but not drinking it but merely watching the vapors of there hot drinks envelope there vision.

Lois still couldn't believe how she had let her feelings break through her exterior walls. She couldn't believe that Clark now knew how she truly felt even as she had tried so hard to conceal it. But what she couldn't believe at how hurt Clark looked as she was in a major lip lock with Adam of all people, she never had seen such sadness in his eyes like that before not even Lana. These were the only parts she remembered as the rest was annoyingly a blank. She just couldn't understand what it all meant.

But she then looked at her blond cousin across the room and realized that nothing that Lois had experienced compared to what Chloe was feeling. She also remembered the look on Chloe's face seeing her tears was the worst thing Lois had felt for along time. Chloe had reassured her it wasn't her fault as it was the drug that affected them all. Lois watching Chloe shift slightly in her place on the sofa, knew that her baby cousin was hurting.

Can you hear heaven cry?

Chloe of course was, all she kept thinking of was those 3 words Adam said to her that sent her heart to another level. But also the betrayal that she had to watch Adam kiss Lana and Lois. She had not Clark had tried to defend Adam by saying that his brother had never experienced the affects of Red-K before and that as he had never experienced the high felt emotions he did yesterday that he had no control what so ever of his actions. She understood that in a way but it didn't help the pain that was crushing her already scarred heart. The only question that was running through her mind was did Adam truly love her or was it the kryptonite ego talking?

Chloe then realized a hand gripping her arm and came out of her trance to notice Lois was sitting next to her on the couch. Lois brushed a lock of Chloe's hair from face which revealed a fresh tear running down her cheek.

"…I'm so sorry" Lois said as her watery eyes breached letting her strand of emotion fall freely across her face.

Tears of an angel
Tears of an angel.

Chloe's lip quivered as she just fell into Lois's open embrace and Lois knew she had forgiven her which made didn't make the tears stop as they both held each other for comfort until the dawn of night.

Stop every clock
Stars are in shock
The river will flow to the sea

The moonlight shone across the barn of the Kent Farm. Clark was busy conducting repairs to the staircase of the barn. Martha had reluctantly been called to an emergency meeting regarding the financial climate and had to leave for Washington. She had said her goodbye's to Clark and was in the car heading down the dirt road when she caught something that immediately grabbed her attention.

"Driver could you stop for one moment" Martha asked the driver of the limousine in which he immediately did.

She quickly got out the car as it had stopped by the entrance of the farm. She watched as Adam was staring upwards toward the "Kent Farm" Sign.

"Adam…" she softly spoke approaching to his side. His stare still remained on the sign.

"…are you ok?" she said putting her hand on his arm.

Adam reluctantly met her gaze and she saw for the first time truly sore the sorrow that filled his eyes.

"I don't know…" he tried to smile but he couldn't.

Martha just gave him a reassuring hug which he welcomed and gathered warmth from it.

"Talk to him…" she whispered as she ended the hug.

"Thanks…Mom" he then spoke without thinking which brought a smile to Martha's face.

I wont let you fly
I wont say goodbye
I wont let you slip away from me

In the barn Clark was making himself busy repairing the damage from the scuffle he and his brother had yesterday. Clark's mind reluctantly replayed the day and the words spoken between Adam and himself. Because of that now his friendship with Lois was left in tatters. And then there was Adam himself, as he truly saw the pain his brother had been hiding all these years the fear and loneliness of his life he can remember in the phantom zone. How Adam had blamed his family for abandoning him and trying to forget he ever existed. Even watching as the Red-K fueled through Adams veins as he sung his heart into the Saliva Song – Always. He saw the real heart of Adam revealed as his pain echoed through the words which in essence made his feelings known. The question remained did Adam truly blame him and envy the life he had on earth?

He nailed the last of the reinforcements onto the staircase and immediately felt a new presence in the barn with him. He walked down to the staircase to look toward the entrance to see his brother slowly enter the barn.

Adam watched Clark approach and both kept a strong stare between.

The silence lasted for a few moments as Clark realized this was going nowhere he just politely stated.

"I'm glad your ok"

Clark went to walk away but his brother quickly replied.

"I messed up Clark…" he said in with a scratch tone of guilt.

Clark slowly turned around about to reply when Adam continued.

"I just wanted to keep the feeling what it was like to be like you, just for that brief period to feel what it is to be human"

Clark said trying to not show his annoyance and disappointment.

"And what did you find out" Clark asked approaching him again. That's when he saw for the first time as Adam lowered his head as he spoke very low.

"That I don't want it…"

"What?" Clark replied immediately completely taken back by his brothers evaluation.

Adam voice was beginning to show shine's of loosing the battle to control.

"I don't want to feel like this Clark, I don't want to be human"

That is when Clark realizes as he is watching Adam's inner battle trying to hold all the emotions in which he had done all his life beginning to show signs of defeat as he could see Adam eyes begin to squint to give it one last try to stop his emotions to breach.

"Adam you can't switch of these feelings this is who you are"

"NO CLARK…" Adam shouted as his eyes were beginning to show signs of watering as he continued.

"I don't want to be that person…I've hurt everyone I care about being that person, how is this suppose to be life as a human? How do I go on knowing how much damage I've caused to you and Lois?"

And in that moment as he raised his head back towards Clark, Clark watched as the walls around Adam broke as he spoke a single tear fell from his eye as he concluded.

Can you hear heaven cry?

"How do I go on knowing I hurt Chloe?" Adam quivered. That's when Clark felt his own lump in his throat as he watched his brother breaking in-front of him. Then Clark did something that took Adam by surprise, Clark enveloped Adam in a tight embrace and used his hand to maneuver Adam's head to rest on his shoulder.

Tears of an angel
Tears of an angel.

"Its gonna be ok Adam"

Adam slowly shook in his grasp as the tears flew freely as he cried in his brothers arms.

Clark hoped that Adam could do the most important thing to start with and that is forgiving himself.

"Its gonna be ok"