HER KISS

One of the worst parts about living in a werewolf colony, the one you didin't even at first realise, was the fact there was so much time to think.

Think of her.

Remus leaned his back against a tree and stared up to the sky; it was getting dark, the stars were starting to come out. He was sitting in the outskirts of the camp; most of the other werewolves were sitting around a huge, merrily crackling bonfire and making quite a ruckus. Remus felt more comfortable being at a certain distance away from the others, even if that meant he was quite cold and there was nothing more to do than to watch shadows grow more and more prominent around him. And of course think of her.

Nymphadora Tonks.

Remus let her name roll on his tongue for the thousandht time. The name was like a spell, conjuring up image of a young witch with everchanging hair and a glorious smile that filled his heart with an intense longing. Oh, how he wished to hear her voice again, her laughter.

All the memories he had of her came rushing back. They all featured the same brave, funny, clever and absolutely amazing woman he had quite foolishly let himself fall in love with. The same woman who had admitted she loved him back. The same woman he had had to leave behind, because he could not be with her.

He knew he had done the right thing to refuse her, for her own sake. But even if he listed all the reasons why he could not be with her (too old, too poor, too dangerous...), why it was better the way it was, she would not leave his head, and his mind would not stop creating different of scenarious where he'd be with her, teasing him with all kind of ridiculous romantic thoughts.

It was really her fault, you know:

She had kissed him.

Only once, but she had done it. And it was making him go crazy, because it had been everything he had dreamed of it to be.

And it could never happen again. He knew that perfectly well but that didin't stop him replaying the kiss (the only kiss he would ever have with her, he reminded himself, unhappilly) over and over again in his head.

He had been packing the last of the meagre things he had at Grimmauld Place, when he had heard her unmistakable stumble on the stairs. He knew it was her. From her steps, from her smell. Without even raising his eyes from his luggage, he said:

"We have been over this so many times, Nymphadora-"

But instead the usual slide of reasonings why they should be together, why the various problems he had presented to her were solvable, Nympahadora had walked briskly to him without as much as a word. And before he realised what was happening, she had risen to the balls of her feet, stared into his eyes for a split second and then without a warning, crushed her lips to his.

It had taken him completely by surprise.

For a moment he was frozen, unable to move a muscle. And just as he was beginning to comprehend what was happening and had instinctively begun to reciprocate the kiss, exhilarated, savouring every second, she had broken away.

Just as surprised, he had opened his eyes and saw her give him a pointed look, before storming away.

He had stared after her a long time after that, tentatively stroking his lips which had burned with longing to have hers against them again.

It had felt so good, so right. What if he was exaggerating the complexities of their possible relationship? What if she was right, and they could overcome all the obstacles? What if it was possible for him to experience yet again that wondrous feeling of having her close to him?

But before he could let himself to truly reconsider his actions, he happened to turn his gaze to the other werewolves, and saw Fenrir Greyback sink his yellow, stained teeth into a chunck of meat. Greyback felt his eyes and flashed him a ravenous, malicious grin.

No, Remus thought.

No, he could not allow himself to be near Tonks. That would only put her in danger. He would not, could not, be that selfish. That would not be fair to her.

And after all wasn't this where he belonged? With other outcasts, other monsters.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I'll try update next time sooner, but meanwhile you can go and read my two other RL/NT stories I have on this site, and of course leave me a review telling what you think about my little tales ;) Apologies for any mistakes you spot, English is not my native language.