Rating: T/M for language and some sexual references.
A/N: This is hasn't been proof read as of yet, so apologies.
All of your feedback has been absolutely amazing and I am glad you guys are enjoying this alternate universe as much as I am. I have a certain plan of how this story is going to go so, hopefully, it won't take me as long to write upcoming chapters. Also, I officially finish exam season in two weeks which means I have a whole summer to write freely.
Calls, Heaving and Betrayal
After much negotiation the day before, Veronica had convinced Logan to not call a doctor regarding her feverish temperature. He had been worried and sinfully, Veronica had distracted Logan with her body. She'd shoved him into her small yet fully functional shower and had her devilish way with him. Once Logan was done proving just exactly how much he loved Veronica - and vice versa- he had completely forgotten about the possibility of her being ill. To be honest, Veronica was certain that Logan felt just as hot as she had earlier; they'd fallen asleep on her bed after their sexual escapades.
But, as usual, Logan had dragged himself out of Veronica's bed reluctantly before Veronica had the chance to stir in her sleep. Logan placed a lingering kiss against her forehead before driving himself back home. He slipped through the front door of his swanky mansion and passed out on his bed with a humph; thoughts of Veronica swarming through his mind aggressively. By the time he got home, Veronica was usually waking up to start her own chaotic day. He envisioned her rolling around in bed before reaching out for him, only to realise that he'd gone. After mourning his absence for a few minutes, she'd pick up the phone and call him. Logan smiled as the light hum of his ringtone called from his trouser pocket.
"Morning." He mumbled into the phone with a yawn.
"Hey." It was conventional for Veronica to adore her morning phone conversations with Logan. Because of his faux marriage and the facade he was having to uphold as a result of it, Logan never got the chance to lie in with Veronica. So, their morning-after phone conversation was the idle pillow talk that they'd missed. They'd make innuendos, reminisce about how amazing the previous night had been and then discuss their plans to see each other next; plans which, usually, Veronica was eager to make.
But today, Logan could hear the sadness in Veronica's voice, a sound that made him feel so guilty. She had been so close to breaking up with him yesterday and Logan cursed himself for pushing her to her breaking point. Logan's marriage was complicated and he'd just expected Veronica to deal with it, for his sake. He hadn't realised that the lies and the secrets were taking such a great toll on her and consequently, their relationship.
"I want to see you again." Logan said, wishfully. Truthfully, he never wanted to let go of her but, he knew he needed to be home before Lily woke up.
Lily and Logan had never been in a romantic relationship. They had been good friends growing up and it seemed that their parents had mistaken their playfulness and comfortability around one another as love. Before either of the two could comprehend what was going on, Aaron was taking Logan ring shopping and Lily was out buying bridesmaids dresses with Celeste. It hadn't taken long for the press to here about the alleged young couple's affair either. Within mere moments, the whole world was talking about the mother of all weddings. Daughter of business mogul, Jake Kane, was marrying the son of Hollywood's biggest actors, Aaron and Lynn Echolls.
At first, Lily and Logan had decided to resist their parents' desires for a Kane-Echolls wedding and tell them the truth. Lily and Logan had planned a joint family dinner to do exactly that but ... they just couldn't muster the courage to shatter everybody's happiness. Lynn had never smiled so much in Logan's lifetime and he knew if he broke off the wedding, it would break his mother's heart. He couldn't do that to her. And, the same applied to Lily. Lily and Celeste didn't have the greatest mother-daughter relationship and the wedding brought the two polar opposite women together. They had finally gotten to a good place and Lily couldn't lose her mother, not when they'd just started to bond.
So, Logan and Lily decided to live out a lie. They smiled in front of the cameras and then enjoyed each other's friendship whilst behind closed doors. It was like living with one of your best friends. The duo fought over the remote and complained about each other's bad habits but at the same time, Lily and Logan both knew they had strong shoulders to lean on. They were there for each other through thick and thin; the good and the bad.
However, Logan only realised the detrimental consequences of his and Lily's actions once he met Veronica, the petite blonde who'd permanently etched her way into all elements of his life.
Logan ate, breathed and slept Veronica Mars.
Logan had been seeing Veronica for two years now. Their relationship was messy and by all means highly unhealthy but Logan knew he couldn't live without her. It was one of the reasons why he hadn't told Lily about her. Lily wasn't against Logan seeing people, she was completely for it actually. Lily, herself, casually dated rich men that she would blackmail so that they never sold the story of her unfaithfulness to the media. She lived for the mystery surrounding unfaithfulness and promiscuity. It gave her such a rush.
However, Lily was one hundred per cent against dating seriously. She and Logan were in a sticky situation and getting into a serious relationship meant severely threatening the happiness that her and Logan's marriage had created within their families. Lily never fit in her with her family and finally, she had. They actually consulted her on serious issues, called her over for dinner; paid an overall interest in her life. There wasn't a single person that Lily would let threaten the bond that she'd managed to create with her parents. Logan knew if he told Lily about how serious he was about Veronica, Lily would do everything in her power to keep her family satisfied, even if that meant ruthlessly ruining Veronica's life.
Logan would never be able to forgive himself - or Lily - for ruining Veronica's life, hence his sneaking into the house quietly most mornings.
"Logan, I know we didn't get to finish talking properly yesterday but ... I really think ... we should take a break." Veronica stated as she began transcending through her morning routine before work. The phone rested between her ear and her shoulder as she tried to scramble into her Java Hut uniform. Veronica heard Logan's breathing hitch loudly and she sighed. "This is really hard for me and ... I just ... I need time to think. I love you, more than anything but I woke up without you next to me and I'm not sure if this is what I want for the rest of my life-"
"Veronica," Logan's face was planted into his mattress as he tried to think of a rational solution to Veronica's worries and doubts. "Let's have dinner tonight, we can talk properly, discuss what we are both feeling in depth ... If you decide that a break is what you want after we talk then ... that's what I'll do, I'll give you the space that you need."
Veronica thought over Logan's proposition carefully. Truth be told, her heart was instructing her that she did want to see him again, she always wanted to see him. It was just her mind and general logic that was telling her that she needed a break from her relationship with Logan. She just needed time to figure out what she truly wanted from Logan. If she did choose to stay with Logan, Veronica knew she was going to have to sacrifice the chance to get married, the chance to have a traditional nuclear family ... because, it had been two years and Logan hadn't mentioned divorcing Lily - not once. And that was enough to tell Veronica that divorce wasn't an option that he was contemplating.
"Logan, I don't know-"
"Please?" Logan's voice cracked. He wasn't born yesterday, he knew what breaks in relationships meant; they usually meant it was over and Logan wasn't prepared to give up on Veronica.
Not now, not ever.
"I have a lecture at nine but ... can you meet me at my place around six?" Veronica finally agreed and Logan let out a breathe that he felt like he'd been holding in for an eternity.
"Yeah, that's fine." Logan answered back with a hint of a smile on his face; early dinner meant he got to see Veronica sooner; got to overcome this hurdle in their relationship sooner. "I'll bring take-out, Luigi's?" Logan now had a few hours to figure out how he could convince Veronica that their relationship was worth fighting for. She wasn't materialistic but Logan mentally reminded himself to pick up some peonies - her favourite flower - and some Italian food; anything that would show her that she was better off with Logan by her side.
Veronica got off the phone with Logan once she realised just how late she was for her shift at the cafe. After struggling to squeeze into her tight pencil skirt and white shirt, Veronica made her way to work speedily. She was certain she'd broken the speed limit a good few times and she silently thanked the gods that her father was the town's beloved sheriff.
Veronica parked up her car towards the back of the Java Hut parking lot before she made a run for the door. She was two minutes early which gave her enough time to throw her bag into the break room and grab an apron. Straightening out her crinkled shirt with her hands, Veronica walked through the door of the cafe, only to be greeted by her friend and fellow waitress, Cindy Mackenzie, and a surge of sweetly sickening smells. Before Mac could even mutter a hello, Veronica rushed to the bathroom; her stomach churning violently.
Veronica threw down her bag on her way there, her feet stumbling over one another as she gracelessly fumbled around for the door that led to the staff restroom.
"Veronica?" Mac yelled after her distressed friend. The cafe was relatively quite at this time of the day and Mac left the restaurant in the hands of their youngest employee, Heather; a high school student who was skilled at the job. Mac chased after her friend and made it to Veronica's side just in time to pull her hair back from her face as she vomited into the toilet. Veronica hadn't even eaten breakfast and she found herself dry heaving once the little content of her stomach was emptied. "Hey, it's okay, it's okay." Mac rubbed at Veronica's back comfortingly until she was done throwing up. "You're going to be okay."
Veronica smiled meekly as Mac sought out a bottle of water and some gum once she was done comforting her. Veronica took the two things together, the unconventional cocktail of mint and icy water leaving a cold and refreshing burn down the inside of her throat.
"Thanks for the help, Mac." Veronica squeaked out between her large gulps of water, the liquid slowly filling her now barren stomach. Her stomach rumbled with hunger and yet the thought of food made Veronica heavily nauseous again.
"Veronica, I think you should go home." Mac looked at her friend with worry clearly evident across her facial features. "Go get some rest. Me and Heather have the Hut under control today."
"I'll be fine. I can stay if you need me to-" Veronica tried to protest weakly but to no avail, Mac wasn't going to take no for an answer. Veronica Mars was a work machine. She went to school and she worked and she was training to get her P.I. license, all at the same time. Mac knew if she didn't push Veronica to take a break, the girl would work herself down to the bone. And deep down, Veronica, herself, knew that the invitation to go home and rest was enticing. Veronica felt flimsy and fragile and the thought of collapsing in bed was exactly what she needed after the whirlwind of emotion she had faced the night before.
Veronica was officially emotionally drained.
"Try getting something to eat, try something like soup or broth if you can't keep solids down." Mac advised as she escorted Veronica back to her car. Mac had had much practice caring for her little brother when he was sick and so she regurgitated all the information that she knew to Veronica. "A hot shower might help if you're still feeling queasy, a bath might make you feel worse so I'd try avoiding that ... and if you start to feel worse call a doctor." Veronica simply nodded as she clambered back into her car. "Call me if you need anything, okay?" Mac tapped her knuckle against Veronica's car door lightly and then made her way back into work.
Veronica rested her clammy head against her steering wheel, her chest heaving up and down as if she'd just ran a marathon. The cool leather against her hot skin and the silence in her car coalesced to catalyse a train of thought within Veronica. The feverish temperature, the yearning for more with Logan, the nausea ... it was all piecing together like a jigsaw puzzle, a puzzle that Veronica wasn't sure she wanted to fix.
She was having pregnancy symptoms - she couldn't be pregnant, could she?
One thing that Veronica was utterly certain of was that she needed to consult a doctor and, she needed to talk to Logan.
After arranging an evening - and rather expensive - appointment with her general practitioner, Veronica collapsed onto her bed. The sleep came to her within seconds of hitting her duvet, enveloping her raging thoughts and settling her into a blissful slumber.
In the evening, Logan, who had a key to Veronica's apartment, let himself in after knocking a few times and receiving no answer. He smiled sheepishly to himself because he knew he was early and she was probably still at work or in the shower. He just couldn't wait to see her. And so, Logan began setting up for dinner whilst he waited for Veronica to get back. He'd pulled out the full works in order to show Veronica how serious he was about keeping her happy. The two dozen ivory peonies were in a vase at the center of her kitchen island, small tea light candles littered around the dimly lit room. He'd put their fettuccine and lasagna into plates carefully, hoping to make their take-out a little more formal.
Logan couldn't take Veronica out in public and so, this was the closest thing he could arrange to a candlelit dinner.
"Logan?" Logan was pouring drinks when he heard Veronica's voice call from inside her bedroom. Logan - who hadn't heard the shower running - jumped, presuming Veronica was on her way home from work rather than at home. Wine spilled down the kitchen work top and he clumsily tried to clean it, the burgundy colour stark against the white surface.
"Jesus, Veronica!" Logan cursed as she walked into the open plan living room and kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the back of her hand. "You scared me."
"You scared me!" Veronica chuckled dryly, her eyes finally taking in the sight of what Logan had done to her kitchen. The place looked really nice - he'd made an effort - and Veronica smiled gingerly. She appreciated the gesture, especially after everything that had gone on between them recently; it was reassuring to know that he wanted to make her feel appreciated.
"When did you get back from work?" Logan walked over to her, his bulky arms enveloping her small waist. He acknowledged the fact that she was still in her work uniform and she had disheveled bed-head. "Did I wake you up?"
"Hmm." Veronica found herself leaning into Logan's touch. She still felt weak from earlier on in the day and being in Logan's arm made her feel less panicked. She took a few small steps into him, her head resting against his muscled chest. Logan responded immediately, his arms cocooning her into a circle of homely warmth. "Logan, we need to talk."
"I know-" Logan pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her blonde hair, her strawberry shampoo swarming his senses - he loved that smell.
"No, not about us." Veronica pulled away to look into Logan's hazel eyes. "Well, yes about us but ... not about us taking a break."
"You don't want us to take a break?" Logan's eyes lit up with a hopeful look - had the flowers and the Italian food won her over? Was some tender care and affection all that Veronica needed?
"Look, Logan, I have some news-" Before Veronica could tell Logan about the possibility of them being pregnant, Logan's phone rang. Veronica didn't even respond to the shrill ring of the phone, she simply continued talking. Whoever was on the other end of Logan's call could wait until she was finished. "Logan, I really need to talk to you-"
"Hold on, it's Duncan." Logan held up a finger to pause Veronica for a second. He planned to answer the call and tell Duncan that he'd call him back when he wasn't busy. However, Logan picked up only to find Duncan ranting frantically down the phone, his sentences incoherent and fragmented. "Duncan ... Duncan, calm down and talk to me properly-"
"Logan-" Veronica tried to interject, she was beginning to feel sick again and she gripped Logan's bicep as she tried to steady her swaying body.
"Hold on." Logan tried to wrap his thoughts around what Duncan was rambling on about and his tone with Veronica was harsh. He'd never used such a tone of voice with her and she jerked back from him suddenly. "Lily's what?" Veronica sat on the arm of her couch, her eyes sinking to the floor as she tried to both control her churning stomach and listen to Logan on the phone. "Where is she?" There was a small pause as Duncan answered back. "Okay, okay, relax ... I'll be there in like twenty minutes."
Duncan Kane had gotten a cryptic call from his sister, Lily, on her way to the hospital. She'd been crying like a crazy person down the phone and Duncan had reassured her that he and Logan would meet her there. She hadn't told him what was wrong and what had happened, just that she was on her way to the Neptune Hospital. Like any family member would, Duncan pictured the worst of scenarios and rang Logan, utterly distressed.
"What's going on?" Despite, her worries about possibly being pregnant and feeling highly queasy, Veronica saw the expression on Logan's face ... something was definitely wrong. Logan practically ignored Veronica as he gathered his things. He glanced around quickly as he tried to grab his keys and his wallet and his phone. Duncan and Lily needed him - now. "Logan?" Once again, Logan ignored Veronica. It was like he had tunnel vision, all he could think of and see was Lily. He could see her unconscious and pale or bloody and bruised.
She was one of his best friends and she needed him.
Logan made his way out of the apartment and Veronica chased after him in disbelief. He was making his way down the stairs of her building and she couldn't believe that he was going to leave without saying two words to her. "Logan!"
"Lily needs me right now." Logan paused abruptly on Veronica's stairs, his eyes taking in the sight of Veronica in her doorway through his lengthy eyelashes.
"I need you right now!" Like she had been the night before, Veronica was yelling through her silent tears. She just needed a second … a second to tell Logan what was going on with her and when she needed him to, he couldn't seem to put her first.
"I'm sorry." Logan said sullenly. He knew this wasn't fair to Veronica, he knew that, but, Lily's life could be at stake and he couldn't stop to talk to her. Because, Veronica would be here in the morning ... Lily may not be. Duncan didn't even know what had happened to Lily and the thought of the unknown was beginning to scare the hell out of Logan.
"I'm sorry too." Veronica muttered under her breathe, the tears now seeping through the top of her shirt. "Logan, I can't do this anymore." Logan closed his eyes, his heart shattering violently within his rib cage. "If you can't put me first when I need you then, there's no hope for us."
"We'll talk later, I promise." Logan pleaded but his legs were still slowly progressing down the stairs.
"Logan, I don't want to talk later!" Veronica's hands flew upwards in incredulity. "I can't ... I can't anymore ... we're done!" Before Logan left her line of sight, she slammed her apartment door shut, her body falling in a heap on the floor against it. Veronica stared back at the dinner that Logan had planned and cried harder than she ever had. Wine was dripping from her counter tops, half of the candle flames had blown out and the lingering smell of Italian polluted the air.
Her life was a mess - and it was too late for her to fix it.