If you're confused of what's going on, go back a chapter. I uploaded two chapters today! :D And any criticism is welcome, but please be gentle...
Chapter 3: So Much Stuttering
The three advisers had regrouped in the war room after Cullen had entered into the tavern. His entrance was met with a joyful warmth, until he looked at his men. Most of them were rowdily laughing with alcohol rushing through their veins, and the rest had joined Sera on the wooden floor, sleeping. Cullen had a look of horror on his face of their behavior, but he inwardly grinned at his recruits, thinking of how much they will hate their early morning drills tomorrow. He would make them work extra hard, maybe they would go on a longer run or do shield exercises.
Lost in his thoughts about training exercises, Cullen was interrupted by the voice of his second-in-command, Rylen. "Commander!" he waved with a drunken smile on his face. Rylen was seated with some of the other recruits at one of the tables, each one with a mug in his hand. He quickly took one last sip from his mug and hurried over to his commander. "Sir, would you like to have a drink? The Iron Bull is buying everyone drinks tonight."
"Right he is!" Sera yelled from the floor.
"Wasn't she sleeping?" asked Cullen confused.
"I-….I don't know, sir," replied Rylen.
Cullen replied with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. "Have you seen Lelianna or Josephine?"
"They were here, Commander, but I believe they left after taking the money."
"The money?" Cullen's eyebrows furrowed.
Rylen chuckled looking at Sera now fully asleep on the floor. "It would be better if you asked them yourself."
"Right," Cullen replied with a little concern.
"Commander Cullen," a petite voice called from behind him. He turned to see a woman with cherry-colored long hair, placed in intricate braids. The woman's makeup was done quite heavily and her light blue gown's neckline was hanging dangerously low.
Cullen's cheeks turned slightly red and he coughed a little, "Lady Trevelyan."
Elise noticed his reaction and smiled widely with pride, "Please Cullen, call me Elise. We are too close for 'my lady' or 'madam.'"
Rylen scoffed at her desperation for proximity with the man. The whole Inquisition was aware of Elise's want to court Cullen, well everyone except for Cullen. The man had always been oblivious to flirting. He raised his hand to his mouth as he tried to keep a straight face.
Cullen gave a look to his second-in-command before he looked back at Elise, "That would be highly inappropriate, my lady. I'm afraid I cannot. You are the Herald's younger sister and addressing you as lady is only right."
"But you address Cassandra as 'Lady Cassandra' and her family is lower than mine," said Elise straightening up her back.
Rylen's eyes had opened wide at her statement. Insulting Cassandra was not the most intelligent course, and insulting Cassandra in front of Cullen was even worse. He quickly nodded to Cullen and stalked away from the two back to his table.
Cullen watched as he walked away and wondered how such a girl could be the Herald's sister. He knew there was going to be some partiality from her because of her background, but not like this. However, he would let it go. The girl was young and still had much to learn. "Have you seen Josephine?" He changed the topic. The headache was beginning to come back.
An expression of annoyance dawned Elise's face, "She was here before, Commander." She put her hands on her hips and felt angry that he would bring another woman up during their conversation.
"Really?!" Cullen's face lit up. He showed her the parchment. "I've been looking for her. Do you know where she would be now?"
Elise's face was red. "I don't know, Commander." She gritted her teeth.
"Oh, then have you seen Lelianna by any chance?"
"I don't kno-" Elise was interrupted by a calm, familiar voice.
"I know where they are, Commander," said Solas walking towards the pair. His hands were placed behind his back and there was a slight grin upon his face.
"Solas," Cullen breathed out, his eyes widened.
"The spymaster and ambassador have both returned to the Chantry. I am guessing they are in the war room, perhaps," he said as he took a glance at Sera on the floor. "You just missed them."
"Solas," Cullen began. "I want to apologize for before. What I meant was- well what I wanted to say was-"
"That all mages are abominations?" Solas said amusingly.
"No! I-I…" Cullen stuttered looking away from him. "Look, I did not mean to insult you. When I said those things I was not thinking straight. I was angry and I-I should not have said those things," he glanced down at Solas.
Solas looked down and smiled slightly, "It is alright Commander. I understand your problem. There is no harm done."
Cullen peered at him, "You understand?"
"Yes, you are referring to your withdrawals, yes?" his eyebrows furrowed.
"What are withdrawals?" asked Elise with a deeper voice, her eyes perked with curiosity.
Cullen's head began to pound painfully at her question. He had told no one of his withdrawals, and yet Solas had found out.
Solas glanced at the twitch of pain in Cullen, "It seems I have said too much. Commander, you were looking for Lelianna. She is in the Chantry."
Cullen nodded to Solas and felt a sudden need to run out of tavern. It felt as though the walls were closing around him. But before he could, a hand stopped his movements.
"Cullen," Elise looked up at him with doe eyes. "Could I join you? I also had some business to discuss with Josephine." Her lips were slightly parted and her hands were clasped together softly.
Cullen's forehead began to sweat. He needed to get out. His pain was returning, and he was suffocating. But rejecting Elise's offer would pose as if something were wrong, so he simply nodded his head, with which Elise responded to with a wide smile.
They walked out of the tavern, Cullen in front and Elise in the back. The cool air hit Cullen's face and cooled the sweat, which covered him. He sighed in relief at the touch of the wind on his temples. It did not stop the pain, but it soothed his head somewhat.
Elise fell into step with him by increasing her speed. His legs were longer then hers, and his shoes were more suited for the snow than hers were. She began to open her mouth to say something, but after looking at his expression, she stopped herself. Cullen was eyeing the moon with longing.
Elise looked at the moon, following his line of sight. She wanted to understand him. It was no secret that she fancied the man, but he had never responded to her advances. Her constant flirting towards him had never been successful. He was obviously attracted to her, but Cullen was never open about it. Did he not want her? Or was he oblivious in matters such as these?
"Isn't the moon lovely today?" Cullen suddenly asked.
Elise looked upon his face, noticing a look of sadness in his eyes. His stance was uncomfortably rigid, and his voice was laced with a deepness she had never seen before in the stern and stubborn Commander. Maybe this different Cullen was caused by what Solas had mentioned before? Withdrawals? She didn't know what those were, but she would ask Vivienne later.
"Yes, it is," she carefully replied. Yes, she would be discrete and diplomatic about this matter. She wanted to help Cullen, especially if he would court her in the near future.
They arrived at the door of the Chantry. Cullen reached his arm out to open the door, but stopped at the sound of Elise's voice.
"Cullen," she said nervously. "Can we talk maybe?"
Cullen turned towards her confused. "Yes, of course. Is there something you needed?"
She sighed shakily. Never had Elise been so anxious, and romance was not something that she was unexperienced. But something about the man in front of her made her feel like a small girl. She looked up at him with hooded eyes. "Cullen, I care for you," she took a deep breathe. "And I was wondering if you felt the same way?"
Cullen brought a hand to the back of his neck in surprise and looked away awkwardly. "I don't-"
"You don't want to court me?"
"Maker! It's not like that… It's just we're in the middle of war and…" Cullen's voice trailed as he glanced up at the moon. "I-I'm not ready," he breathed out.
"What was her name?" Elise asked quietly.
Cullen slightly smiled, "Solona." He looked back at the girl in front of him. "I'm not ready for anything yet. Maybe when all of this is over, we can consider something, but not now. There is too much to do."
Elise blinked tears back. No, she would not cry. Not now. This wasn't rejection, not yet at least. She swallowed a lump in her throat and grinned up at him. "Don't forget then."
Cullen laughed, "I promise. I won't forget."
Suddenly, they turned their heads towards the sound of horse hooves. Cullen's laughter changed to a look of seriousness, with no hint of his previous conversation with Elise. A soldier ran up to them frantically. "Commander!" the soldier called to him. "The Herald has arrived!"