CHAPTER 23
Elsa walked slowly through the halls of the castle, weighed down not only by the exotic weapon that she held in her hands, but the implications of its very existence as well.
She had found it uncomfortably restraining around her delicate hands, the leather straps and hard metal stirring up painful memories. As such, she had removed the unfamiliar instrument with haste as soon as she and Anna had left Mattias' chambers.
SHING
Anna, on the other hand, was fascinated by the device and had elected to keep hers on. She had been periodically deploying and retracting the blade during their brief trip back to Elsa's quarters.
SNNK
The Queen let out a small sigh. It had been a very eventful day, and the repetitive sound of metal moving against metal was beginning to weigh on her already frayed nerves.
SHING
Elsa winced through her teeth as she heard the sound once again. She immediately spun on her heel to face her younger sister, whose teal eyes were affixed on the blade that was protruding from her gauntlet. It was a wonder she didn't walk right into the now-motionless woman.
"Anna, please." She said, annoyance clear in her voice. "I implore you, that sound is driving me mad."
The Princess stood their looking quite perplexed, hand still held up in front of her face.
"Sound?"
Elsa groaned and grabbed her sister's armored wrist, waving it slightly to emphasize her point before letting the appendage loose.
"Oh, right. The blade."
SNNK
Elsa flinched as the blade returned to its sheath once again.
"Umm, sorry." The girl said sheepishly as she swung both hands behind her back.
"Why are you still wearing that thing anyway?" Elsa spat with much more vitriol than she had intended, and the redhead visibly flinched.
"Well, it's... interesting." Anna replied with uncertainty. "I like- I think it's interesting."
Elsa found herself unable to formulate a response, especially one at a reasonable volume. Instead, she turned to continue on to her room. For the remainder of the trip, the only sounds were light footsteps, giving Elsa much needed time to think.
Why did she snap at Anna like that? Sure, the repetitive sound was bothersome, and yes, she was under a lot of stress, but even she could see that her outburst was unwarranted. It's not like she didn't expect Anna to be fascinated by the device. The Princess was an inquisitive person, which was made abundantly clear by her investigation into the symbol on Mattias' pistol.
Her introspection was interrupted by the portal to her chambers, which she opened and passed through in stride. She noticed Anna briefly hesitate to follow her and thought to say something, but her breath hitching in her throat silenced her. The door clicked closed a moment later, and the sound of the lock sliding into place confirmed that the Princess had indeed come inside.
Elsa strode across her room to her vanity, where she placed her own weapon into a small chest that rested there. She slammed the chest closed and was once again caught off-guard by the force that she unwittingly used to do so. She noticed that frost had begun to creep across the chests surface and she quickly pulled her hands away. With an annoyed grunt, she turned back towards her sister, and for the third time in a short period, was once again surprised.
Anna stood, arms crossed and shoulders square, eyes locked on her from under a furrowed brow. The Queen folded her hands behind her back and met her sister's gaze, though she remained silent. As rare as this particular look was, she knew very well what it meant. Anna was mad at her.
The standoff lasted only a moment before the Princess unleashed her volley.
"You know, I was telling the truth when I said that I found this interesting." She said, voice shockingly calm as she tapped the weapon affixed to her wrist. "It is beautifully crafted, intricately designed, and,"
SHING
"Masterfully engineered."
SNNK
Elsa jumped when the blade shot out from its sheath as well as when it retracted. Her eyes widened; she had never seen Anna be this intimidating. She felt a strange sense of pride welling up inside her, as well as another feeling which she quickly dismissed, seeing how wildly inappropriate it was.
"That being said," the Princess continued. "I like it. I am going to learn how to properly use it, and I am going to wear it."
"Anna, that..." she paused and waved her hand slightly as she searched for the proper words. "That thing is a weapon; an, an instrument of death and-"
"This is much more than a weapon!" Anna cried, cutting the Queen off as she held out her wrist.
"This is a symbol, Elsa. It is a symbol that I am willing to stand up and fight for what I believe in! My Kingdom, my friends, my family, you, us..."
Anna's eyes fell to the floor as her unarmed hand tinkered gently with her weapon. She let out a small sigh and then refocused her gaze onto her sister.
"I don't have powers, Elsa. I can't use magic to protect myself or anyone else. But with this,"
She raised her wrist once again.
"With this I can. This is the closest thing to ice powers that I'm ever going to have. With this, I feel strong, and confident, and- and powerful!"
The Queen's eyes closed, lids heavy with growing frustration. "I understand wanting to feel those things, Anna, but that thing is barbaric."
"If wearing this and wanting to protect you makes me barbaric, then so be it," Anna stated as she crossed her arms in front of her and turned her back to her sister. "but this is nothing like the barbarism that we have seen already. Hans, the Duke, Captain Stenson... maybe to fight barbarians you need to be a little barbaric yourself."
"Anna, that's-"
"That's reality, Elsa!" she shouted, throwing her arms up as she once again turned towards the Queen. "The world is a dangerous place; you and I have both seen it. So we can either turn tail and run, or stand and fight back! I know what I'd rather do."
Elsa sighed and lowered her head. She knew better than to fight the unstoppable tide that was her sister's persistence. She also knew that Anna was right, but it was still a difficult fact to accept.
"I'm sorry Anna," she began. "I didn't realize you felt this way."
Anna remained silent, standing resiliently with a down-turned brow and her arms still laced across her chest, which was now heaving. Elsa realized from her body language that she was still mad about something.
"Anna, I-"
"And another thing!" the Princess interrupted, just as Elsa had expected her to. "Why is it that you are allowed to be violent? Threatening Mattias, conjuring daggers and crushing him with ice. Why can you do that, but I'm not allowed to simply wear this?!"
"I... I just..." Elsa began, tripping over her words in an effort to respond properly.
"You were in a position to actually kill him! But I can't wear this as I would any other piece of jewelry?"
"It's just- I didn't-"
Panic was rising in her chest. She could feel the stress of the last few days crashing down on her as she absorbed volley after accusatory volley from the Princess. At the forefront of her mind were the words that Anna had said to her on the North Mountain, so many months ago.
'You don't have to protect me anymore! I'm not afraid!'
Elsa's eyes slammed closed. If she had listened, things may have been different. Anna's heart may have never been frozen.
'You don't have to protect me!'
Her eyes opened again and she was back in the Ice Palace, snow swirling around her as her sister approached her in defiance, yelling over the roar of the wind.
'PROTECT ME!'
"How can you possibly justify that?!"
"I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!"
Spikes of ice cascaded outward from Elsa's sides in lines parallel to her now outstretched fists. She had lost her temper, just as she had at her coronation, and similar to that night, the implications of her actions hit her like a brick wall.
Though this time, the shock of the spoken words was much greater than the appearance of ice.
"Elsa, you... you were..."
The Queen knew she had betrayed her sister's trust by feeling this way. It was the one thing Anna was most adamant about. She squeezed her eyes closed and reluctantly repeated herself.
"I was trying to protect you."
One bright blue eye inched open, meeting two teal orbs that were tinged red from the fires of anger.
Surprisingly, Anna did not react with the expected vitriol. Her response was quiet, almost to the point of being reassuring.
"You... do NOT... need to protect me." she said through clenched teeth. So much for reassuring quiet. "I survived without you for THIRTEEN YEARS."
Elsa recoiled slightly at the painful reminder.
"I can handle myself, and you know it." Anna affirmed, jabbing an angry finger towards the monarch to punctuate each syllable. "For you to say anything to the contrary means that you don't believe in me; that you don't trust me."
"What? No! Anna I would never-"
"Never what?!" the Princess spat. "Never let me take care of myself?"
Elsa's shoulders lowered in defeat. She had no response. With a miniscule twitch of her fingers, she willed the ice away.
"I know I can take care of myself." Anna stated as she tapped her extended index finger into her chest before turning it towards the Queen. "You know I can take care of myself."
"But this?"
SHING
"This let's the world know that I can take care of myself, which means for once, I'm lessening your burden instead of adding to it!"
Elsa remained silent as the Princess threw her balled fists down to her sides with the blade still extended. The younger woman's shoulders moved up and down in sync with her anger-laden breathing. Elsa could sense the rage building inside her younger sister, which was confirmed as clenched teeth became visible and a growl began emanating from her.
"RRRAHH!"
Elsa recoiled as the Princess spun, raising her wrist and dragging the blade across the wooden door behind her. A deep scar remained behind where the sharp steel had previously traveled.
Anna stayed facing the door, her head hung low and her chest still heaving. Elsa, though frightened by the sudden violent outburst, began to move towards her. She faltered, however, when a choked sob escaped the fiery Princess' lips.
"Damn them..." Anna whispered between sobs. "Damn them both. This is their fault. This is all their fault..."
"Anna," the Queen began curiously. "Who-"
"If only they had believed in you!" Anna cried as she spun back around to face her elder sister. Her eyes were red and heavy with unshed tears. "If only they had trusted you..."
Anna fell to her knees and retracted the blade. Tears began to freely fall down her face as she began to undo the leather straps that secured the hidden blade to her wrists.
"Mama and Papa..." she uttered.
Elsa stood, frozen in place, as a leather strap came undone.
"The burden they put on you..."
Another string of material came unlaced.
"What they did to you... it was deplorable..."
The knot was almost completely undone.
"Despicable...
The lace came free from the final loophole, and a slender hand worked its way through the device.
"Inexcusable..."
The weapon was ripped from her wrist.
"Unjustifiable..."
It was raised above her head.
"And UNFORGIVABLE!"
The vambrace flew across the room, landing innocuously next to the window. Elsa's eyes darted nervously between the weapon and her sister. Unsure of how to react, she simply stared as Anna's body shuddered with each sobbed breath.
"To think that they did all of it in the name of protecting us. I just…"
Anna let out a mocking chuckle and shook her head slightly. Elsa took a cautious step towards the Princess as tears began to well up in her own eyes.
"I wish they could see what they've done." she continued, and Elsa stopped her slow advanced towards her, opting instead to simply listen to what the Princess had to say.
"They kept us apart for so long, trying to protect me from you. If only they had spent even the slightest fraction of that time helping you instead of hiding you..."
Anna's voice trailed off and the room was quiet. A tear trickled down Elsa's cheek as she observed her younger sister. She noticed that despite her sobbing, Anna's face was dry. Her expression was defiant, not upset, and in that moment, Elsa saw the outcome of thirteen years of isolation.
Anna did not need protection.
"And despite all their effort," the redhead continued. "Despite all the years of locking you away from the world, who was it that saved you, that day on the fjord?"
Anna lifted her head for the first time in many minutes and locked eyes with the Queen.
"Who was it that saved me?"
Elsa didn't speak. She could tell that Anna already knew the answer.
"That day was the way it should have always been. That day, we protected each other."
Anna's lip quivered slightly and her head fell back down to stare at her lap.
"You willingly locked yourself in your room for thirteen years because they told you it would keep me safe. You missed so much, all to make sure I was alright. Everything you sacrificed… you were so selfless, Elsa."
With that declaration, Anna finally stood again, though her gaze remained fixed to the floor.
"A thousand lifetimes isn't long enough for me to repay you for what you did, so I'm not even going to try. Even I know when something just can't be done."
The self-deprecating joke elicited a small, if sad, smile from Elsa.
"The very least I could try to do is even the odds a little; start to give after taking so, so much from you."
Anna raised her head once again, and teal met ice blue.
"Let me do my part, Elsa. Instead of only you protecting me, let's protect each other. Let's keep each other safe."
Elsa looked upon her younger sister in a new light as a realization hit her. Anna was never the frail, vulnerable girl that their parents had made her out to be. To deny Anna her privilege- no, her right- to wield that blade would be a mistake at best, and an insult at worst. To deny Anna what she had wanted for so long, to be the protector instead of the protected, was something Elsa was not willing to do.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Elsa smiled lightly at the young woman before her. Instead of answering with words, she turned to retrieve Anna's blade from where it had come to rest on the floor. The weight of the blade still felt foreign and uncomfortable to her, but she could adjust, just as she had so many times before.
Elsa walked back towards her sister and looked her dead in the eye. Nothing in Anna's expression betrayed even the slightest hesitation or doubt about what she was asking.
The Queen slowly reached for Anna's hand. Taking it in her own, she placed the blade in the Princess' open palm before using her fingers to close Anna's around it. She quickly looked at her hands, now entwined with the Queen's own, before looking back to Elsa.
"Thank you." she whispered. "This is all I ever wanted."
"I see that now." Elsa replied. "I am not about to make the same mistake our parents did and deny you the ability to keep yourself, or me, or anyone else safe. If this is what you want-" she gestured towards the gauntlet "-this is what you shall get."
Without warning, a brilliant smile overtook Anna's features and she threw her arms around the Queen.
"Thank you, Elsa." she said. "Thank you for trusting me where our parents never did. I'll keep you safe, I promise."
Elsa laughed as she returned the hug. "And I will keep you safe."
"We'll keep each other safe." Anna immediately replied.
"Always."
A/N
WISE FWOM YOW GWAVE
Howdy everyone, welcome back! Sorry for the massive delays, but life gets in the way of stuff sometimes. A lot has happened to me in the almost-year (yikes, sorry again) since my last update. Some good, some bad. But the gist of it is that things were very hectic for a long time. Now life has calmed down enough for me to start really working on this again. I meant it when I said I would finish this. In fact, I have the rest of the story planned out. Just gotta write it.
This chapter and what is now going to be chapter 24 were originally one chapter, but in the interest of actually updating within a year, I split them up. So they are each shorter than my usual updates. But hey, it's something, right?
Anyways, sorry sorry sorry again for the delay, it will never again be anywhere near this long between updates. To those who are still with me, a million thanks to you, and feel free to drop me a review (scathing or otherwise).
Much love,
Cosmic