Hey guys, here is the second part of Darker Days. Hope you enjoy. This is my take as something a little more humorous. I'm going to warn you now, I pretty sure I'm bad at writing humor, so have fun with that.

"Harry Potter is dead." Voldemort screamed as he walked in with the death eaters.

The battle had been going on for hours now. Harry figured out that he would have to sacrifice himself to destroy the horcrux in his head.

Hermione was standing with Ron, wands in hand, as all their fears came true. Before Voldemort could say anything else, Harry jumped out of Hagrid's arms and ran over to Ron and Hermione. Voldemort was furious, though no one moved.

"How is it that every time I kill you, you live. Why do you live Potter!" Voldemort said calmly. Much to calm fro the order and the light side. Harry frowned.

"Because I have something worth living for." He then reached over and grabbed Hermione's hand.

"I have a beautiful girlfriend, great friends and people who care about me Snake Face. Who do you have?" No one saw the blond smirk at the last comment or growl at Harry grabbing her hand.

"Oh I have lots of people Potter. I have a wife, three kids and a whole army." He said with a smirk. The light side at that point looked scared, perplexed, confused, or strait up shocked.

"You have a wife? Who would want you? You don't have a nose." Ron said oh so intelligently.

"You really are daft Weasley. This isn't my real form. I wasn't born like this. Besides, my wife certainly likes how I look and that's all I care about."

"You… you have kids?" Professor McGonagall whispered, wondering where there children were.

"Oh yes. Two are standing with you right now and the last, well he is at home with my wife."

"With us?" She whispered again.

"For almost 8 years now. It was so entertaining hearing all the secrets from the light side when they would come home."

"Just tell us which Slytherin's are you demon spawn already! Stop stalling!" Harry screamed, still holding onto Hermione's hand. Voldemort smiled coldly.

"I never said they were in Slytherin. One of them is, but the other, well she is in Gryffindor. Come out now my son. Your sister will be with us in a moment." People gasped at the proclamation that his daughter was in Gryffindor, but soon forgot as they looked for his son.

Making his way through the crowd, Blaise Zabini, now Riddle it seems, walked proudly towards his father.

"Dad, that was dramatic." Blaise said after hugging his father.

"Do you expect anything less?"

"Zabini! Zabini is your kid? He doesn't look anything like you." Ron screamed.

"Why are you so stuck on what I look like Weasley?"

"Because… because you look like a snake."

"I thought we gathered that I wasn't born like this."

"Why does it matter? You still look ugly."

"Merlin dad, just show everyone your true form. I'm getting a headache from hearing the daft Weasel run his mouth about what you look like." Blaise said with a sigh, rubbing his head. Voldemort chucked before lifting his hand and waving it over his body.

Suddenly, standing there before them was a tall brown haired man. He had green eyes with a small amount of red. He was muscular from what you could see.

"Happy Weasley. This is what I look like. Handsome as ever." Blaise rolled his eyes.

"Uh huh."

"Hey, you look a lot like me so don't complain. I know your girlfriend likes it."

"Yeah yeah."

"As much as I like hearing you two talk, can we get on with this." Harry said, sounding aggravated.

"Impatient I see Potter. We haven't even got my sister yet." Blaise said.

"About that, come on darling. I think you've had enough time with the light side." Voldemort said. No one moved. Harry let go of Hermione's hand, waiting to hex the girl in Gryffindor that was Voldemort's daughter. He never got the chance though because before he knew it, he was on the ground, pushed by none other then Hermione Granger. Hermione then starting walking over to Voldemort, wiping her hand on her torn pants. Reaching Voldemort, Hermione hugged him.

"Daddy." She said.

"What!" Harry said, getting off the ground.

"Yes Harry, Snake Face, as you put it, is my father. Must've forgot to mention that one." She said.

"Hermione, I missed you, just not your awful sense of humor." Blaise said.

"Oh brother, that wasn't one of my good ones. Daddy, can you magic me some new clothes, these ones are dirty." He nodded before turning Hermione's clothing. She now worse tight fitting leather pants, a green tube top, that showed off her curves and some black high heels. Her hair was pinned up nicely as well.

"The brat has him wrapped around her finger." Blaise muttered.

"Oh Blaisie. Are you jealous that Daddy loves me more." Hermione said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Oh there is the annoying sister I know and love." Blaise said.

"Now children, you two can argue when we get home. Right now we have to finish the leech that is Harry Potter."

"How could you Hermione. I loved you! I wanted to marry you. Wait, a leech?" Harry said.

"Merlin, he loses his train of thought quickly." Blaise said.

"I don't love you. For your information, I'm married. Have been for three years now."

"Yes she is." A voice drawled from behind Harry. Turning around, he saw Draco Malfoy strutting up. Walking right pat a shocked Harry, he walked towards Hermione.

"Your timing is amazing, you know that." Walking towards the blond and wrapping her arms around him.

"You know it." She then kissed her. Right in front of everyone. The onlookers thought it would never end.

"Oi! Drake, kiss my sister when I'm not here. Prat." Blaise said.

"I second that." Voldemort said.

"Would you rather me to kiss you Blaise?" Draco said with a smirk.

"No, I would though." A new voice said. Luna Lovegood walked out of the crowd and right up to Blaise.

"What too you so long?" Blaise said with a pout.

"Well you were arguing with your sister and brother in law. I was having trouble getting a word in." She said. Actually, no one could get a word in. Harry had been trying, but every time he tried to say something, Hermione, Draco, Blaise or Voldemort would take the opportunity.

"Sorry love."

"Alright, enough chit chat. We will come back later. Luca is at home with you mother and she will probably hex me to oblivion when we get back. Potter, you're lucky my family comes before you and your weasel of a friend. I'll kill you later."

"Ha, I told you Blaise. You owe me 30 galleons. I knew he wouldn't do it. I knew the idea of mum and Luca at home alone would get him." Hermione said smugly. Draco and Luna laughed. Blaise grumbled and handed her 30 galleons. The death eaters stared to leave. Voldemort laughed at their antics before leaving as well.

Blaise and Luna then left, leaving only Hermione and Draco with the order.

"Well bye Pothead. Have a nice life. What's left of it at least. And Weasel, next time you say my father is not handsome, look at Blaise. I know you did before you knew he was. We all know your gay. Don't hide it." Hermione said.

"Ciao." She said with a wave and they left. The order that too shocked and weirded out to respond. Ron went as red as his head.

The light side fell in the next couple day. Not because of the power Voldemort had, but because no one could kill Hermione. Boys found her too hot and girls, we they just weren't a match fro Hermione Riddle.

Well, I don't know how well that turned out. I'm not very funny when writing. Tell me id you liked this or if it was completely horrible. If so, I'll stick to less 'humorous' ones.

-Maya