Chapter 11

August 2019

"Daddy, Daddy can I ask something?" Camilla said running towards her father and jumping up for Alex to catch her

"Yes you can" he answered and then kissed her on her cheek.

"Are the clouds made of cotton or paper?" the little girl asked with the most serious look on her face.

"Cotton. Fluffy cotton." He said not knowing how to answer his daughter.

"So why the clouds are white if the cotton candy is not?" Alex looked at Jo, who was recording their scene at the park, for help. Jo giggled and shook her head at him "I think they are made of paper."

"Oh really?" Alex asked "Why is that?"

"Because the paper is white too." She said and took off running to the playground where she had come from.

"Oh stop laughing at me…" Alex told Jo giggling, "What should I tell her? That clouds are made of water?"

"Yes. I would have loved to know what her next question would be."

"She would probably ask if we drink clouds then." Alex said and then turned to look at their daughter "Who is that woman she is talking to?"

"I don't know." Jo answered, "Camilla, come here." She called for their daughter; the child did as she was told to, she ran to her parents and then sat in front of them.

"What are the rules for the park?" Her father asked her pulling her onto is lap

"I can't talk to strangers and I can't go far away from your sight." She answered after gulping from her pink drinking bottle.

"Why were you talking to that woman over there?" Jo asked her

"I thinked she-"

"Thought." Alex interrupted her to correct her spelling mistake.

"I thought she was you when I was at the playground but then she wasn't you, Mommy."

"Oh… You don't know your silly head Mommy anymore?" Jo asked ruffling the child's hair and then tickling her causing their daughter to laugh.

"Daddy who painted the clouds?"

"Okay… it's time to go home." Alex said to his girls and they both nodded their head at him.

Alex was left alone, with no Camilla nor Jo, pondering what to and never finding answers to that, his life was spiraling down endlessly. All of the control he had was slipping away. All of his emotions had drained out and turned into a desperate rage, he found himself constantly breaking down and breaking stuff. He realized he was becoming helpless with each passing day without his daughter. Friday had come and Camilla had been gone for a week now. His life was great; it was perfect, everything was right until a week ago. Everything, every little detail of his life had drastically changed in a course of a week. Camilla was gone and Jo was slowly fading away too. One week had passed since he last saw his daughter, the day after would be a week since he last heard her voice, even if was not in person, he knew she was okay at that point but what about now? He had no idea if she was still okay. He dread every single day the thought of her daughter possibly be dead. Jo had left him on Monday night and returned the next afternoon only to leave again. She told him she was staying at their second house because she needed to be away from their home for a little or she would break down to the point of no return and that their home was making her lose control little by little, she didn't feel right in there, she needed a bit of space. They hardly ever went to that house; it was more like a house for a getaway when one of them needed a little bit of space from the other. Alex had placed a box of homemade videos in their living room and was watching them over and over again for the need to be reconnected with his daughter, until he would eventually fall asleep.

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"Mia, calm down. I can't understand what you are trying to say!" the woman she to the other line of the call "What's going on?" all she could hear was Mia crying desperately and taking heavy breaths "Mia!" she screamed.

"She… she… I just…" she breathed in and out again "I turned my back to her for one second only and within a second she was lying on the floor."

"Mia, what are you trying to say?" the woman asked with fear on her voice "What happened?"

"She fell and hit her head on the center table." Mia said through sobs, "I don't know what to do."

"Is she okay? Is she breathing?" the woman asked but got no response "MIA! Is my daughter okay"

"She is breathing but… but she is unconscious."

"Bring her in here now, pull yourself together and bring her here right now."

"I can't take her to the hospital. What if I'm caught?"

"This is my child we are talking about, you better bring her in here Mia." The woman said and then let go a breath she did not know she had been holding "Just, please, bring her here, I'll know what to do, you won't get caught, okay? Please Mia. Please. I cannot lose her. Not again."

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Alex once again fell asleep sitting on his living room floor with his back against the couch, the doorbell ring woke him up from his sleep, he got up and walked to get the door while rubbing the sleepiness off his face. When he open up his door he was shocked to see who was there, she looked different, a lot different , but it was her he knew it for sure. He would have never forget that person.

"Oh… Alex! I didn't…" she started "I thought this was Mer's house."

"You told me Izzie was blonde" he said it more like a question

"No I didn't, I told you I found her I never said what color her hair was" She answered him.

"Yes you did Jo. You told me you gave the paper to a blonde woman who turned out to be my ex-wife!"

"I said I gave the paper to the blonde woman that used to be your wife, because I remembered you saying she was blonde but-"

"So is Isobel Stevens blonde or brunette?" the detective asked them but the question was for Jo since Alex hadn't seen her in years so he had no idea how she looked like.

"She used to be blonde, but her hair is as dark as mine now."

"Alex?" Izzie said snapping him out of his flashback.

"Izzie. Hi, I'm sorry I… You… You are brunette." He said "How are you? Come in?" he said and stepped aside so she could come in to his house and then closed the door once she was inside. She stood not far from the door waiting for him to direct her where to go next. He walked past her pointing for them to go to the kitchen and se followed behind him. Once they got there, he asked her to take a sit at the kitchen table. "Can I get you a coffee?"

"Yes sure, thank you." Izzie answered, "I'm so sorry for everything that is going on in your life right now… Alex, how are you doing?" She asked but Alex didn't answer her he just limited himself by getting the coffee done. When the coffee was done, he poured it into two mugs and handed one to Izzie as he sat in the sit in front of her.

"I'm… I don't know. I'm hanging in there I guess." He answered her question after a little and shrugged his shoulders "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Are you still living in here with Meredith?" She asked looking around at the kitchen that once was familiar to her and now was completely modified.

"No, I bought the house from her. It's just me, Jo and our daughter now… I mean it used to be." He said and look down at the table. Not knowing what to say or what to do Izzie just looked at him with sorrowful eyes and they stayed in silence for a little until Alex broke it "Jo told me she met you…"

"Yes. I did meet at 5th avenue last week." She said nodding her head and then took a sip of her coffee "I saw you guys on TV, and I immediately recognized her. How is she?"

"She is okay. So… a kid uh?" he asked her changing the subject. Izzie looked puzzled at him not knowing right away what he was talking about "Jo told me you have a daughter…"

"Oh! Yes, yeah I have a daughter. Abby, her name is Abigail." She said smiling.

"I didn't… I mean I would never thought that you would adopt someday…," he said smiling at her too "How was it? The adoption process?"

"Why would she be adopted?" she asked looking puzzled again, "She isn't adopted. She is mine. I gave birth to her."

"Oh, I'm sorry I just assumed because yo-"

"I know, Alex. It's okay." She said with a small smile. "It happened. I got pregnant when I wasn't expecting to."

"Are you happy?" he asked her after finishing his coffee.

"Yes, she is my happiness. I wasn't thrilled at first when I found out I was pregnant neither when she was born because she would constantly remind me that she was the only thing I had left from-" she cut herself realizing what she was about to say "Yes she makes me happy"

Alex noticed the look she had on her face and feared for what he was about to ask his ex-wife. "How… how old is she, Izzie?" Alex phone started ringing on the living room and got up to answer it, before he left the kitchen he gave one last look to Izzie "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere." Izzie, without being able to say something nodded her head at him and swallowed hard the lump that had formed on her throat.

Oh my god, what did I just do? Izzie thought to herself, he cannot know! A few minute had passed and Izzie was pondering to leave without letting Alex know, when she decided she would do it Alex entered the kitchen again with a death expression on his face.

"Izzie can you give me your number?" he said with a voice that indicated that he was about to cry, he cleared his throat and then spoke again "We can't finish this conversation right now, but we will. Give me your card, please" he asked.

She nodded while taking a card where her contacts information were and handed it to him. "I'm sorry, I really need you to leave now." He said and turned around walking back to his living room to call Jo, expecting that Izzie would find her way out. Izzie gathered her things and made her way towards the door passing through the living room and watching him talk on the phone with somebody.

"Goodbye Alex…" she whispered and left.

Alex heard the sound of the door being closed and stopped talking to hear what Jo was saying on the other line.

"Jo, I really need you to come back home now. I… I can't do this without you. You need to come now." He said walking back and forward on his living room, "We have to go there together for her. She needs us. Camilla needs us, not just me and I can't do this alone, Jo." He pleaded with tears streaming down on his face.

"I'll meet you there, Alex. I'm on my way, it isn't her. It isn't our baby."

With every single phone call Alex got, he hoped it would be the one to inform them that their daughter was found. But never, not even once did he thought that he would get the 'We need you to identify a body' call.