What is Snape's worst nightmare? It's Harry dying, no, it's Lucius dying, no, it's someone finding out about his love for Lily Evans, no, it's someone finding out about him and Lucius.

Snape's life is a nightmare.

Severus is suffering the injustice of having to comfort Narcissa on the day of her husband's imprisonment. He is standing in her drawing room, holding her as his robes grow wetter and wetter from her tears. While she cries, he is staring at the family portrait over the mantelpiece.

Later, Severus agrees to protect her son. Draco reminds him so much of his father. Now he is in charge of making sure not one but two children of his lost loves survive this brutal war.

Somehow, a letter from Lucius arrives. The Dementors are more lenient on Dark prisoners, he guesses, and maybe they can help transport such things. It doesn't matter how he did it, though. It only matters that it is there, in Severus's hands.

Dear Severus,

I wanted to write to you the night before I was to go to the Department of Mysteries, but Narcissa wouldn't keep her hands off me. She was worried about the danger, and I told her there was no way the plan, my plan, could go awry.

Before I found myself here, in this grimy cell, being with her had become a chore. I love Narcissa, Severus, but I don't think it is the same as your love for Lily Potter. I think I love her as a family member, as someone I could not choose but got anyway. Sex with her had become a sin against sex, something that should be wonderful turned into a dreaded task to be checked off a list. I would think of you before, during, and after.

Severus, I want to be with you when this war is over. Once things have settled, I will have a divorce and you can stop teaching and we can be together, proud of who were are. Can't we? I know I have never spoken this way before but being here has left me to reconsider the things I once thought of as solid and unchanging. I've been cold to you, I've been using you, but I want to stop that.

Maybe, when I leave here, I will forget what I have written. I'm not sure if I'm myself or not at the moment, but I know that what I'm writing is the truth. Keep this letter, show it to me when you can. I will make good on my promise.

Love (yes, Severus, love),

Lucius

Severus doesn't remember sitting down, but somehow there he is, on the floor. He must read the letter 15 times before he folds it up very small and tucks it into his breast pocket.

One balmy night, Severus is lying in bed at Spinner's End with the window open. The Muggle family next door, who can't see his house, and do not know it is there, is still up laughing and barbequing. The children are catching lightning bugs, based on what he hears the parents saying. They sound very, very happy.

His Mark burns blazing hot, and he jumps out of bed, slamming wardrobe doors and drawers to get dressed. If the Muggles hear the crack of Disapparition, they make nothing of it.

He lands at Malfoy Manor, and before his eyes can focus he hears a great crowd of people. Then one thing stands out – he can hear Narcissa weeping and repeating Lucius's name, over and over. Thinking the worst, he searches the room for her, even though he wants nothing more than to curl up into a ball and die.

But then he turns, and there he is. Lucius is standing, looking terrible and dirty and tired but very much alive, with his family. And all around them, other prisoners are with their families and friends, and it is the closest thing the Death Eaters have ever had to a party.

Snape composes himself, shoulders back and hair pushed out of his face, before he approaches them. He reaches out a hand, and Lucius takes it.

"Are you…uh…well?" Severus asks, feeling like an idiot. Narcissa is still holding hard onto Lucius's left arm, even as his hand lingers in Severus's. Next to them, Draco has cracked a smile, unable to play the moody teenager at his father's return.

"You may take one look at me to answer your question, Severus," Lucius says, braving a smile even though it looks as if causes him physical pain. "But I am alive, and with my family again."

"Of course," Snape says, bowing his head to hide the blushing. "I suppose I should go say hello to the others, then." They drop hands.

They are all there for a long time that night, sitting at the table. Voldemort welcomes the returned, although there is undisguised disgust in his voice as he turns to the Malfoys. Their turn at being in favor, it is clear, has ended.

Plans are laid to begin to weaken the Ministry, to weaken Hogwarts, to attack certain families at certain times. When it is over, it is past midnight, and parchment litters the table. Everyone has been assigned a task, and failure comes at the price of death.

"Please go to bed, Narcissa." She and Lucius are lingering in the doorway. "Go, and I'll be there soon. I promise." He kisses her, hands at her waist, and then she obeys, pulling Draco away with her.

Lucius turns his eyes to Severus, and catches him watching the scene from the far end of the room. He smiles. Severus smiles.

There's a little closet in the hallway outside the drawing room, and it is there that they meet and kiss, and kiss, and kiss. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Severus is aware that time is passing, but he cannot make himself care.

"Your letter," he says, gasping. "I keep it with me always."

Lucius looks a little concerned at this.

"Yes, my letter. Perhaps a topic for another time."

If Severus thinks this is strange, he doesn't have the strength to say.