A/N:

I'm so sorry for the delay but life got in the way of my plans. And thank you for being patient. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 19

"I don't know what to do anymore Jane... This has been going for months now, ever since his ex-wife died." Jo said as she filled a cup with hot chocolate and gave it to Jane.

"So why don't you go back to work, Jo?" Jane suggested, "It has been what? Eight months now? Nine? Don't get me wrong but you should be ready to work by now..."

"I know..." Jo sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, "I'm not ready ... That's what I have been trying to tell him. I just don't think I'll ever be ready to go there again."

"Jo, I don't know how it feels like to lose your own child but… You know you… Ugh." Jane grunted struggling to put to words what she was trying to say "Look, I know you lost her but come on… Just try… Please?"

"Janet, no. Let's just drop this. I don't want to go there!"

"See," Jane pointed at her sister and Jo shook her head not understanding what her friend meant by that "I knew this wasn't about you being ready or not… Seriously Jo, why don't you want to go back?"

"Because people are too… They look at me like a sold my daughter to some old man to marry. They are disgust by me and didn't even… I will always be the 'mother who kidnapped her own child'… I just can't Janet."

"But you didn't…" Jane said but it sounded more like a question.

"Jane, I thought you…" Jo said with disbelief lacing in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Jo. I'm sorry… But just see it from my perspecti-"

"That is all I've been doing!" Jo interrupted Jane by yelling "I have been putting myself in everybody else's shoes but no one wants to wear mine, Jane" she said and then sighed sitting down in front of her sister "No one wants, no one at least tries to see from my perspective. No one knows how hard it is for me…" She said losing some tears.

"Jo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to"

"No, no…" Jo said shaking her head "You know… They say you can feel it when… When…"

"Feel what?"

"When someone you love is gone and I… I don't feel her dead but…" she said and sniffed looking at her sister eyes "I feel like I'll never see her again" she sobbed.

"Oh Jo, you can't think like that" Jane said getting up and embracing Jo while she cried "You can't lose hope"

"How am I not supposed to? When everything in my life is falling apart? My daughter is gone… My marriage is falling apart… And I love him so much but I don't think we will ever be same. I don't think we can pull through this."

"Jo maybe you shou-" Jane started but Jo interrupted her.

"I can't connect with her… I thought I would be okay raising someone else's child but I'm not. I can't, not under this circumstances. It is too hard…" she sniffed again "It just keeps reminding me what my daughter and I could be doing if she was here"

"Have you ever told Alex this?" Jane asked and Jo lifted her head up to look at Jane and shook her head "Well maybe you should and then you can figure out your next steps. You can just bottle things inside and expect people to know what's going on inside your head."

"Thank you…" Jo whispered to her sister.

"Anytime. Now get up because I gotta go and I need my chauffeur." She said and Jo giggled.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Mia" Camilla yelled from the living room before she walked out of there and went to the kitchen where Mia and her mother were "Can I feed the fishie?"

"You'll have to ask her" Mia said pointing to her mother who was sitting next to her.

"Can I feed the fish, please?" Camilla asked timidly

"Yes darling, go ahead, just don't give them a lot of food." She said and Camilla nodded and walked away "I wish I could get to see her more often…"

"I know, Mom," Mia said and then sighed "but I don't think that will be possible. At least not until-" the sound of her ringtone interrupted her, she looked at her cellphone and close her eyes squinting them.

"Is that her?" her mother asked and Mia nodded.

"Hey…" Mia breathed into the phone

"Why did you take her there again?" the woman spat into the phone

"I'm taking her home now… Relax, we are on our way"

"No, you don't have to take her home, I'm outside. Open the door" the woman said and hang up the phone.

"She is… here." Mia said in disbelief "I can't believe she came here" she said and shook her head. They heard multiple knocks on the door and Mia stood up to get the door. When Camilla saw Mia pass by the living room entrance she followed her. The woman knocked one more time on the door before Mia opened it.

"Let's go." The woman said to Camilla and held her hand out for Camilla to take.

"Where are we going?" Camilla asked the woman and before she could answer her question Mia started talking.

"Go get your things, okay?" Mia asked Camilla and the little girl nodded and went to collect her things "Won't you come in?" Mia asked the woman opening the door wider and showing the mid-sixties lady that was standing on the hallway.

"There's no need for me to come in" she said after a brief eye contact she and the lady had made "Come on honey, we have to go" she said when saw Camilla reappearing in the hallway and hugging the lady goodbye.

"Hey J," the lady said to her daughter after Camilla let her go.

"Don't call me that… You don't even know my name" the woman said tapping her foot for Camilla to hurry up.

"Her name is Jo" Camilla turned around to the lady and said it smiling.

"Camilla!" the woman scolded her "Let's go. Now!"

"Bye" Camilla said and waved "You are not coming?" She asked Mia once she saw that Mia was going to close the door.

"Later, I'll go home later" Mia said and winked her eye at her.

"Do you like it in here?" the woman asked Camilla as they walked to the car "Do you like Mia's mom?"

"Yeah… She is nice and…Mommy?"

"Yes?" the woman answered climbing up in her seat.

"That's Mia's mommy? So she is your mommy too?" the girl asked intrigued "You have two mommies? Why she doesn't know your name?"

"Slow down, honey. One question at a time." The woman said giggling and Camilla smiled "She is Mia's mom but she is not my mom…"

"Oh!" Camilla wrinkled her brows and tilted her head to the side "How come?"

"Well, I didn't know her when I was little… I had a lot of mommies and daddies because I didn't know my real mommy and my real mommy didn't know me."

"But she is your real mommy?"

"Hmm… Kind of"

XXXXXXXXXXX

Alex was just about to start to prepare himself to do a minor procedure on a five year old when he felt his phone vibrate on the pocket of his lab coat. He took his phone out of pocket to see who was calling him and when he didn't recognize the number he ignore the call planning to call back after he finished the surgery, but it didn't take long before his phone started vibrating again.

"Alex Karev." Alex greeted the caller

"Dad?"

"Hey, Abby. What's up?"

"Um… So, who's coming to pick me up from school?" Abigail asked

"What do you mean who's picking you up? You're still at school?"

"Hmm yes… I've been waiting for ages. I called Jo but she didn't answer her phone" She answered and Alex banged his hand on the sink.

"Alex?" he jumped slightly at sound of Arizona's voice since he hadn't heard her walking in there.

"I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

"Okay, bye."

"Alex? What's going on? Is everything okay?" Arizona asked him worried about his behavior.

"I have to go somewhere really quick. Can you do this without me?" he begged her.

"Yes… sure. Is ever-" before she could finish Alex stormed out of the scrubbing room.

On his way to the school he tried calling Jo, which was all for nothing because she not once pick her phone up. He then called Jane who told him that Jo dropped her off at the airport and then went back home, but knowing Jo, he immediately knew that she hadn't went back home. He got Abby from school and took her to the hospital where they stayed until his shift was over. As he approached his driveway he noticed that Jo's car was there which could mean nothing because she could've gone to her night runs. They entered the house to find going to the laundry room with a basket full of clothes that she had brought from upstairs.

"Hey…" she turned to greet Alex when she heard the back door open "Abby…" she said when she noticed that Alex wasn't alone. Oh, Abby. She thought and closed her eyes.

"Why don't you like me?" the child asked Jo. "I have never done anything to you…"

"Abby, I'm so sor-" Jo tried to apologize but Abigail interrupted her

"No you're not! You did it on purpose"

"Abby, can you go to your room please?" Alex asked his daughter and she nodded and left.

"Alex, I'm so sorry… I completely forgot. I'm sorry" Jo said and put the basket on the floor and walked towards her husband.

"What is wrong with you, Jo?" he asked shaking his head in disbelief "Now, seriously… What is wrong with you?!"

"I forgot she was coming today" she said and looked at him with apologetic eyes which made Alex give a humorless chuckle.

"Do you have any idea of what could have happened to her?" he yelled at her

"You're making it sound like I did on purpose, Alex!" she shouted back at him "I forgot!"

"You CAN'T forget things like that! Why don't you ever answer your goddamn phone?"

"Alex, I said I'm sorry… What do you want me to do?"

"That is not the freaking point! Saying sorry isn't enough. Act like you fucking mean it, Jo!" he spat as his face turned red from all the anger he was feeling at that moment "You don't even have the decency to call people back."

Jo just stood there taking everything he was saying. Every word that came out of his mouth stung her but she knew he was right. He had all the right to be worried and angry with her.

"How do you even forget to pick your child up from school?" he asked her skeptically "After everything that has happen? How?"

"She is not my-" Jo said as the tears fell down her cheeks

"So that's why you left her there? Because she is not yours?"

"I'm sorry… I don't know what else to do…" she said shaking her head

"How could you be this irresponsible?!"

"Stop it, Alex… Please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave her there… She was just sleeping… I thought she would be okay if I left her there for a couple more minutes."

"Jo, what are you talking about? This isn't about her… We're talking about Abby"

"It is, Alex. It is in some sort of way…"

"Why do you deny her so much?"

"Because she is not mine!" Jo said sobbing.

"What happened to the 'what's mine is yours too'? She is not just mine… She is ours. Someone could have taken our daughter away"

"SOMEBODY ALREADY DID!"

Where did my Jo go?" he asked crying himself now "The one that cared about the others, the one full of love to give, strong and independent to Jo I once knew and loved?" he sniffed "Where is she? Because this person standing in front of me, I… I don't know her. I don't know you… Not anymore…"

"This is so hard, Alex. I… I… I don't even know when was the last time we kissed each other or had a normal conversation without ending up fighting… When was it Alex?" she asked him and then sniffed "I can't keep doing this anymore…" Jo said pointing to the space between them and looking down at the ground shaking her head.

"I love you Jo… I really do love you but I don't think I can keep doing this either…"