So pass'd we through that mixture foul
Of spirits and rain, with tardy steps; meanwhile
Touching, though slightly, on the life to come.
For thus I question'd: "Shall these tortures, Sir!
When the great sentence passes, be increased,
Or mitigated, or as now severe?"
The Shadowwalker belt prevented them from separating while they fell. Though Pam was grateful to be rid of her pursuers, she now found herself tied to a man she'd previously tried to beat to death. No one knew how long the plane shift would take which led to an uncomfortable stretch of quiet and shifting gazes, none of the three daring to break the silence as they descended a featureless vortex with no discernible light. At one point she felt G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. inhale before making some inane comment which she promptly aborted by pinching his soggy fur. Now is not good time.
The smell of pizza hit them after several minutes. Soon after Pam realized she was undergoing a change. Her clothes morphed and she could sense her abilities gain strength. Her companions were altered too though neither spoke, realizing they didn't understand the situation enough to say more than "Oh geez that's new." They'd all figure it out eventually.
Their journey to the Corridor proved mercifully short. Before any real tension developed the trio hit the ground with a thud. Pam still couldn't see anything. She pulled herself to her feet, dragging Chris and G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D along since they were still attached at the waist. But the ground felt much different than any surface they were used to. Pam's new combat boots trod along some sort of stone floor, but she struggled to tread through some viscous substance that came up to her knees. Pam tried to access automated maps or any internal computer interface, but again her abilities were restricted. She had to rely on magical intuition to pinpoint an exit.
Damp and sticky sleet began to float down from above.
After several more minutes of trudging in silence, Pam felt pulled toward an unidentified source. G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D.'s head jerked up as well and he paddled in the same direction. Chris tried to help as best he could, but the odor of pizza grew stronger and raunchier, and he really was not about that. When they finally found the thing which called them closer, Pam's only sense was that of standing at a cliff's edge, shivering against the cold. She still could not see.
"Pam, maybe we could-"
No one will ever know what the three of them could do. Pam knew she had to keep moving, so down they went off the cliff. Immediately following Pam's leap she witnessed a That's So Raven-style vision. Out of the darkness appeared an elderly woman draped in a dark purple robe. Her gnarled, fungus-covered face drew close to Pam's own, and she could felt this woman's pupil-less eyes boring into soul. In her left hand she held a paper bag which Pam knew was full of delicious Arby's meat slabs, and in her right she held a white and green disc. Pam reached out but grasped at nothing. While they descended a frail voice whispered in her ear.
Wash out the blood from sinful hands
Escape my world of Comic Sans
Seek out a stud you know too well
A flag unfurled inside this hell
Luckily the drop remained brief and the landing soft, primarily because they now found themselves treading tomato sauce in a rank and cheesy swamp. While G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. appeared to enjoy the exercise, Pam preferred not to die with lungs full of grease and so swam to a nearby ledge. She heaved the three of them up over the side with ease and they sat for a while, panting. Sleet continued pelting their sauce-drenched clothes, conveniently cleaning off the majority of the marsh's remains.
Pam tossed off the now-powerless Shadowalker belt and examined her new appearance. The clothes were familiar- red dress with fur trim, military-grade boots, white sunglasses. She also felt the comforting weight of a steel battleaxe strapped to her back. Acceptable for now. Her companions too had changed. Chris' wounds vanished and bones were intact once more. He now faced a different problem, as he'd spawned wearing a full suit of knight's armor that had not been crafted with his frame in mind. His spindly fingers twirled a flat shield with a game show host's visage engraved directly into its wood. G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. was naked and content to cover his junk with a slice of pepperoni he found floating in the swamp. Chris tried his best not to stare.
"Well," asked the cat, "now what?"
Pam pointed. The quagmire they'd emerged from lay next to the ruins of a dilapidated fortress. From where they stood, they saw a cobblestone path cut through rocky cliffs which appeared to lead to a bridge in the distance. She did not wait for her companions. The witch's words struck a nerve within her and she would not stop until she solved this riddle. G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. cheerfully followed in her footsteps while Chris clanked along behind, clutching his sagging armor.
As the trio reached the bridge they noticed several objects of interest. Firstly, the bridge was made of pizza. Straight up. Secondly, the bridge stretched about half a mile over a misty expanse before connecting to another cliff upon which a huge castle was built. Thirdly, the castle too was made of pizza.
"G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D., is this really all pizza?" Pam questioned, irritated by the thought that her suspicious were true.
He nodded. "Affirmative, ma'am. The sauce and toppings indicate pepperoni and the crust confirms it's no pasta." He sounded disappointed.
Pam ignored his sour tone and focused on the castle's spire. At its peak flew a flag, though she couldn't make out any details from this distance. "We go there," she stated plainly. The witch had mentioned a flag. No one could or wanted to argue, so they continued making their way across the bridge.
"Pam, you never ended up saying what you were doing this journey for." Chris tried to probe politely, but his interest overwhelmed him. "How come you're all the way out here instead of back in your home world?" G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D.'s audio sensors perked up. He had wanted to enquire why Pam didn't return home during their first meeting, but he'd become so caught up in his own narrative he'd forgotten to ask.
She didn't turn around to face Chris. Though he'd proven resilient, she neither trusted nor respected him. But it wasn't often anyone cared enough to ask about her past. "A lot of bad things happen in my world. I try to fix them. It go wrong. Now I look for someone."
"Darlin' everyone's lookin' for someone, right?" His youthful enthusiasm was too genuine to dampen. Pam chuckled. G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. shuddered at the sound; it was unnatural.
"This is true." She didn't allow time for more questions since they had reached the bridge's other side. What waited for them was a crumpled body laying at flight of stairs leading to the encrusted castle. Pam studied the corpse while G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. stripped it of its now unnecessary belongs- robes made of pizza and bottles of Mountain Dew. The unfortunate victim's flesh comprised mainly pepperoni pizza, though its disfigured face was solid red. All three noticed claw marks which raked the body numerous times, presumably leading to its demise. Chris removed his helmet and placed it on his breast.
"We go now." Pam noted the wounds continued to seep marinara; clearly whatever killed this being still hunted in the area. G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. and Chris nodded, but the robo-feline stopped to dress himself in the dead creature's clothes. While he struggled to fit his furry form into squishy robes, Pam felt several new presences. Sure enough, a tall, armored warrior appeared on the bridge behind them, halberd at his side. Pam unsheathed her battleaxe, walking calmly toward this new foe.
She came within 15 feet of the knight before a shrill hillbilly shriek pieced the air.
"Run!" yodeled an unseen speaker. "Don't let 'im git you too!"
As the warning faded the knight dropped its halberd and stretched out its arms. One side sprouted brown tendrils which twisted into an ethereal claw, and from the other burst a grotesque tyrannosaur head with glowing red eyes. Pam was not afraid, but knew that practicality served as a better guide than pride. She erected a wall of flame between her and the blood dinosaur before booking it off the bridge. Chris and G.A.R.F.I.E.L.D. were way ahead of her.
I hope I don't get used to this stupidity, she thought as the dino-knight lunged after them.