Day 5 – Regret

-Aug 22 Again, two sentences were changed...-

A/N Oh my gosh how long has it been? I feel so bad…. It's finally summer, so I'll try to write some more. If you're curious I was suffering from a phase of after breaking up. Which somehow involved not wanting to see any romance….But it's all good now, I think I can handle it a bit better.

Thank you .SP and Dthfb2rchs33 for the reviews! I'm glad that you like it!

Hope you enjoy! I did work hard until I started talking a bit like Feliks…

And it would be lovely if you left a review

If I could only go back and change what I had done

When Yao woke up that morning she thought it was a dream. Or would it be a nightmare? To be loved by someone was a dream, but to hurt someone…

Probably not quite pleasant.

But the looks that she got from her siblings when she went down the stairs gave her a clue that what had happened that night was definitely real.

She abandoned Ivan when he had no one else.

And yes it was true, Alfred would have told her that it was the right thing to do and Kiku would have agreed (he agreed with whatever Alfred said).

Maybe they weren't always right. Maybe listening to them was her mistake. But then there was Toris who told her about the violence that Ivan would use against those that he was close to.

The haunting image of Ivan punching someone over and over while saying that he loved them popped into her mind.

"Hey Yao! Yao can you hear me?"

Alfred had come up from behind waving his hands in her face. She hadn't noticed at all, she was completely spaced out.

"Geez Yao, you seem so out of it lately, what's with you? Something happen with Ivan again? I told you to stay away from him…"

Kiku sort of gave him the look and Alfred shut up.

They walked in a chilled silence, definitely an uncomfortable one.

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Period 1 Calculus

Yao stared at the blackboard as the teachers words kept pouring out of his mouth. She couldn't even hear what he said, she just couldn't think clearly.

And Ivan wasn't at school.

She wondered briefly where he was, it was too difficult to think of other things yet so painful to only think of him.

You didn't know how much you lost till they're completely gone.

And that's what she realised now.

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Art Day 1, Period 2

There was something really calming about this class since they never really did anything but draw. There were projects but no one really bothered to try to finish them.

"Yao?"

It was a seemingly sparkling little boy with brown hair. He wore a sweet smile.

"Kiku always talks about you, you're his brother right?

"Yes I am…"
"Does Kiku ever mention me? I'm Feliciano!"

Somehow Yao felt like the youth was rather familiar. Oh. It was the boy that hung out with Kiku's stoic blonde friend.

"Um…sure he did…"

A small lie wouldn't hurt right?

"Oh are you friends with Ivan? Ludwig told me to stay away from him… he's seems scary."

"Ivan's not scary, he's just lonely and misunderstood!"

Ah. Another mistake. The room was rather quiet after Yao's sudden outburst. Feliciano's face suddenly held a smile.

"Oh, I see now."
As Feliciano suddenly continued talking about how to cook pasta in the best way, Yao wondered off in her own world. And she thought that just maybe she should believe her own words.

That Ivan was lonely and misunderstood. That Ivan had changed from the time that Toris knew him. Maybe he didn't know that hurting people was wrong.

After all, lies were always used to cover the too painful truth.

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Ivan wasn't there at lunch either.

Yao noted that Alfred was overjoyed and the table seemed genuinely in peace.

She didn't say a word to anyone, and Alfred was too distracted to notice. Kiku seemed to send various worried glances across the table.

Feliciano came over, seeing her distress and offered pasta as it supposedly made everything feel better.

Which Yao politely declined as pasta had often caused indigestion for her.

So she continued sulking throughout lunch.

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Period 4 Chemistry

It was one of the few classes that she didn't have with Ivan, so she wasn't haunted by his lack of presence.

But it was the one class that she had with Feliks, who though a person with a kind heart was not the best lab partner.

Nor was he the best company.

"…so like Toris thought it was totally a good idea to go… Yao are you even listening?"

After having to listen to valley girl speech for the last 20 minutes Yao had already zoned out.

Feliks sighed.
"Look Yao, you're acting like something horrible happened. If it's about Ivan again you shouldn't worry about it. You're acting like he's your crush or something but like he isn't. He's like a total creep and-"

"He's not scary."

"I was gonna say he isn't even that hot, but that does it." Feliks leaned towards her and tilted his head. "I overheard Feli saying that you and Ivan were like really good friends and I was like oh my gosh cause you were all-"

Yao sent a glare over which without words seemed to say "get to the point".

"Okay okay I get it, it's like the small things. Like it's really obvious that Ivan is totally into you. But for a while I thought that there was NO WAY that you would ever even like look at him. You're like way out of his league. But I guess I was wrong about the looking at him thing. Because every time he walks out of the room the face you make is like priceless. And then when he walks in, and you know stuff like that. You're sulking when he isn't here and defending him when people say he's scary. It's like so-"

Feliks trailed off as Yao tried to carefully pour in the Hydrogen Chloride.

But Feliks' second valley girl speech made some impact.

More confusion and maybe give Ivan a chance. People weren't always static and maybe he was open to some sort of change.

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After School

On her way home Yao trudged through the snow, her small footprints left marks.

Then she saw a set of larger footprints next to hers.

In front of her house stood the silver haired mess.

He turned and a whisper could be heard,

"Yao"

"Ivan"

She decided not to make the same mistake this time.