The three cousins lay sprawled out on the living room floor, heads together, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm bored," Faith whined.

"You know, we've heard," Ashwin told her.

They lay in silence some more.

"God, yeah, I'm really bored," Cassandra agreed with her cousin. They'd been trying to come up with something to do since before lunchtime.

"Why aren't we hanging out with the Corduroys?" Ashwin asked.

"Their mom took 'em hiking."

"Oh yeah."

"Why not the 'enda's, then?" Faith asked.

"Too hard to pin down," Cassandra explained, "also I think like, half of them are at some kind of camp this weekend."

Faith grunted in acceptance.

"Who knew it'd be so hard to find something to do on the weekend?" Ashwin lamented. "Any weird, mysterious stuff to chase?" he asked Cassandra.

"Not that leaps to mind…"

"The lake is fun," Cassandra's dad commented, strolling by, "it's had its fair share of mysteries," Cassandra was more alert now, "and I bet it's kind of a ghost town since the pool opened today."

"The pool opened today?!" Faith blurted, sitting bolt-upright. "Can we go to the pool?!" she asked Ashwin and Cassandra.

"Um, I'm not sure I want to go to the pool if everyone else in Gravity Falls is there…" Cassandra pointed out, interest piqued by the idea of 'lake mysteries.'

"Cassie has a point," Ashwin pointed out, picking up on his cousin's interest in the lake, "I mean, you could swim at the lake, too."

"You guys are no fun," Faith huffed, "I bet Mom'll take me!"

As Faith ran off in search of Mabel, Abel grinned at his daughter,

"You can take the cart to the lake, if you need to. Have fun on your monster hunt," he commented, leaving the cousins in peace.

"Psh! I-it's not a monster hunt-" Cassandra insisted,

"Sure it's not," her dad retorted from the hall.

"It's totally a monster hunt, isn't it?" Ashwin said after Abel was out of earshot.

"I mean, more of a general-mystery-hunt but yeah, basically," Cassandra admitted.

They had a backpack full of water bottles, snacks, two of the notebooks and Cassandra's personal notebook, plus sunscreen and extra sunglasses, and though she'd hesitated, Cassandra had the blue and white trucker cap from The Shack on her head. Ready and rearin' to go, Ashwin and Cassandra started up the golf cart. Mabel had decided to rent one for the trip, as she was determined that it was the best way to get around the Falls, and it gave the kids a chance to do things on their own, something she and her brother had to spend a lot of time convincing their spouses to allow.

"We're going on a monster hunt, we're gonna' catch a big one! We're not scared!" Ashwin altered the old 'bear hunt' kids chant to fit the moment, as Cassandra checked and re-checked the backpack. "Are you?" he asked playfully, continuing the chant. He frowned when Cassie didn't answer, "C'mon, Cass! You gotta' do the echo!"

"Hm? Oh, OK," she accepted, leaving the backpack alone.

"OK, from the top! We're going on a monster hunt!"

"We're going on a monster hunt," she responded with far less gusto, but a little bit of a smile.

"We're gonna' catch a big one!"

"We're gonna' catch a big one."

"We're not scared!"

"We're not scared."

"Are you?" he asked again, tossing her a grin.

"Are you?" she returned, her own smile growing.

"Not me!"

"Not me!" she agreed with gusto. "Do you even remember where it goes from there?" she asked, realizing she didn't.

"Nope!" Ashwin confirmed. They shared a laugh for a moment before starting anew, together:

"We're going on a monster hunt! We're gonna' catch a big one! We're not scared!"

By the time they pulled up to the lakeside they had gone through three more rotations of the incomplete 'monster' hunt chant and had started making each other giggle with unorthodox answers, the most recent being:

"We're not scared! Are you?"

"You bet!" from Ashwin, after Cassandra had responded to the same question with: "I've killed a man. Does this look like a scared face to you?"

"I mean, I'm sitting next to a murderer!" Ashwin clarified over his cousin's giggles as he hit the brakes.

Recovering from her giggle fit and stepping out of the cart, Cassandra looked around.

"Dad was right," she noted, "if anybody's here, they're out on the water."

"…Except that one girl," Ashwin noted, directing Cassandra's attention to the dock. Full of excitement, Cassandra rushed over to talk to the girl in the water, leaning on the edge of the dock.

"Hi!" she said, startling the girl a little bit, "Who are you? We're out here looking for mysteries. Have you seen anything weird? Oh, and I'm Cassandra."

"Meranda," the girl introduced herself, shaking Cassandra's hand. It was wet - not surprising, for someone in the water - but also kind of… slimy? Slick? Not wrinkled like a person's skin would be after a long time in the water. "And no, I definitely have not seen a single weird thing, you really shouldn't- Oh, hello, sailor!" Meranda grinned at Ashwin, "C'mere," she gestured.

"Um, yeah?" he asked, walking over to the edge of the dock, "Hey, I'm Ashwin."

"Mm-hm, great, c'mere," she reiterated,

"I'm here, what's up?"

"No, but, like, closer," she insisted, "in the water, even."

"Dude, why?" Ashwin asked, "I mean, you seem cool and all, but what's the big deal? If you're flirting, I really don't- That's not how I-"

"Jeez, I'm just really hungry, OK?!" the girl finally snapped, sharp teeth showing for a moment.

"Woah, are you trying to eat my cousin?" Cassandra realized, looking between the two of them.

"No," Meranda assured her quickly, "no, no, no eating. Never said anything about eating. Who said anything about eating?"

"Uh, OK…" Cassandra responded, "you can't eat my cousin, but do you want us to grab you a snack from the bait shop?"

"YES!" Meranda exclaimed, "Please! Anything! But particularly fish. Fish is really good."

"Um, OK, hang on," Cassandra said, hopping up and heading into the little building by the lakeside. She walked in a looked around, not willing to try to strike up a conversation with the middle-aged man behind the counter. He didn't seem to be the talkative type, anyway, with grey hair hanging over his eyes, and a bushy grey mustache across his face. She looked over her options: various kinds of snack cracker, snack cake, and candy, and certainly no fish. She settled for a pack of peanut butter crackers, some Twinkies, and for irony's sake if nothing else, a pack of swedish fish.

She placed them all on the counter and pulled out her duct-tape wallet. She was glad she'd bought it.

"Nice hat," the man mentioned as he rang up her items.

"Wh-? Oh, thanks," she acknowledged briefly.

"You're not a Pines' kid, are ya'?"

"Um, y-yeah," she admitted, full of nerves, "I- I'm a Pines,"

"I heard yer parents were in town. Asked me if I wanted to come 'round and reminisce, but I declined. I'm not mah father, rest his soul."

"…Reminisce about what?" Cassandra prodded, still curious as to what was so important that had happened thirty years ago. The old man paused,

"Never mind all that. Enjoy your snack foods."

"Um, th-thanks," Cassandra obliged, taking the plastic bag.

"And tell those twins Tate McGucket says hello."

"W-will do," she assured him, before rushing back to the pier.

"OK, so, they didn't have any fish, 'cause, you know, it's basically a quick-rip with bait, so I got some peanut butter crackers, a snack cake, and some swedish fish."

"What's a… 'swedish fish'?" Meriam asked.

"Like, gummie fish."

"What's a gummie?!"

"Just- try 'em, I guess," Cassandra relented, handing her the bag of gummy candy.

"So, why wouldn't you just get out of the water and get food yourself?"

"I'm lazy, it's cold, I- I'm all pruney and gross," she rattled off explanations, but none of them seemed genuine.

"Why were you trying to eat Ash?" Cassandra asked.

"I said, I was hungry!" she snapped through a mouth full of all the things Cassandra had bought her at once.

"Um, OK. Well, nice to meet you!" Cassandra concluded, legs swaying over the side of the dock.

The girl grunted back through a mouthful of food.

"And you're suuure you haven't seen anything mysterious?" she prodded again, "I mean, basically everywhere around here has something mysterious."

"Nope, no mysteries here," Meranda assured her, scarfing down the remaining half of the swedish fish in one go. "just a boring ol' lake. I would know."

"How would you know?" Cassandra nudged.

"I've been here for several days and haven't seen a single thing."

"Well, I've been in town barely a week and I've seen a lot of things," Cassandra snorted, "seriously, I got directions from a unicorn. I have a gnome bite on my arm," she presented the large bandage placed awkwardly on her arm, obscuring some of her orion birthmark.

"Good, great. Doesn't mean there's anything weird in the lake," Meranda insisted.

"Did you feel that?" Ashwin asked, rejoining his cousin after having wandered off to skip stones while Cassandra talked nerdy to this new girl.

"Hm?" Cassandra responded, turning to face him. "Oh," she realized, feeling the prick of a raindrop herself,

"Is it raining?" Ashwin wondered aloud, looking up at the sky for clues.

"A little," Cassandra agreed, "but it's not that much," as she spoke more drops began to fall more frequently. By the time they stopped looking around like confused birds while they mulled over whether it was raining or not, a relatively solid sheet of rain was consistently falling.

"We should get inside," Ashwin mentioned, not waiting for an answer before rushing into the bait shop,

"You coming?" Cassandra asked, offering Meranda a hand.

"I'm already wet," she pointed out.

"Well, OK then. I- I'm gonna' get inside," she needlessly explained, gesturing to the old, run-down building before hurrying in after her cousin.

Ashwin meandered the rows of convince-store type shelves as Cassandra watched the girl out the window. After a moment of pondering she turned to the man who ran the shop,

"What do you know about that girl?"

"She's been out there a few days now," Mr. McGucket told her, "I'm not sure I've seen her leave the water. She's not always there, but I never see her anywhere other than right there by the dock. Anybody that goes out on the lake just sort of leaves her be. I don't think she's a real personable type."

"She's not, really," Cassandra confirmed. The girl shot a grim glance up at the sky and disappeared under the water. Cassandra stared with rapt attention out the window, muttering the seconds by under her breath.

"Uh, Cass? Y'allright?" Ashwin asked. Cassandra held up a warning finger as she kept counting.

"…fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty. Something's up," Cassandra told her cousin, "you can only really hold your breath about thirty seconds. She's either gonna' drown, or there's mystery afoot," she concluded, tossing the blue cap to Ashwin and heading out the door.

Cassandra stood on the edge of the dock, staring down into the lake. After a moment of staring sternly into the rippling water, Meranda's black-haired head resurfaced,

"What?" she asked, "Why are you staring like that? I thought you wanted to keep your precious clothing dry, or whatever."

"You just held your breath for over two minutes. There's very few people that can do that."

"Yeah, well, I'm one of the few."

"Bull," Cassandra insisted, "what's your deal?"

"Deal? There's no deal," the girl insisted.

"Yeah there is. Here," Cassandra decided, picking up a stone, "if there's nothing up you should be able to get this stone," she concluded, tossing it off the end of the dock.

"You already said people can't hold their breath that long," she interjected, "it- it's deep over there."

"But you already said you could hold your breath longer, and proved it to," Cassandra retorted. "Go get it."

Meranda fidgeted a moment before ducking under the water again. She stayed down a short while, then resurfaced.

"Looked, couldn't find it," she explained, "there's a lot of rocks."

"I could see your hair," Cassandra told her, "you stayed in place."

A realization hit Cassandra like a truck,

"You're stuck, aren't you?"

"No!" Meranda insisted weakly, "Who's stuck? I'm not stuck! Why would I be stuck?"

"You are! That's why you can't get food, and why you've been here so long! Hang on," Cassandra slipped off her shoes, despite Meranda's protests, and jumped into the lake.

It took some work to force her eyes open underwater, having grown up in goggles and swimming pools, but she managed, and through the murky water she found two things: Meranda had a tail, and said tail was pinned under a rock. The gasp for air she made when she surfaced again also doubled well as a gasp of surprise,

"You're a mermaid!" she beamed.

"Oh, jeez, yes, I'm a mermaid. What're you gonna' do? Take me away? Study me? Fry me up in fish fillets?!" Meranda asked, accidentally devolving into terror.

"What? No!" Cassandra assured her, "It's just cool, is all. Also your tail is caught under a bog ol' rock."

"Gee, thanks. Hadn't noticed," Meranda grumbled back.

"OK, I don't think I can lift that thing myself, I gotta' get Ashwin-"

"He won't fry me up, will he?"

"No frying!" Cassandra insisted, "Never frying! Don't worry about it! We just want to help you get out of here," she told her, scrambling back up onto the dock and running back to the shop.

Ashwin flinched as the door burst open,

"Ashwin! I need your help!"

"Um, OK?" he offered, before tacking on: "Do I have to get as wet as you are?"

"Yes," Cassandra confirmed. "but it's summer! You're not gonna' get cold or anything don't worry about it. I just need you to help me move a boulder underwater," she explained nonchalantly as she pulled him into the rain.

"What?!"

"Yeah. Meranda's a mermaid, and her tail is stuck under a big rock."

They had reached the dock before Ashwin could pose anymore questions or protests.

"Ready?" she asked, poised on the edge of the dock.

Ashwin offered a vaguely affirmative whimper in response, and she dove into the lake, her cousin hopping hesitantly in behind her.

Underwater the two teens put all their combined manpower into shifting the large rock, pushing and pulling, and after one break to get their air back, they managed to shove the stone aside, Meranda's tail flicking out from under it in an instant. Cassandra noted a tear in her fin, but she also noticed Ashwin pointing behind her. She whipped around in the water and saw the dark form drifting closer with alarming speed.

"Meranda!" she yelped, surfacing beside the mermaid, "There's something down there."

"Of course there is, it's a lake," she retorted, looking over her damaged tail.

"No, like, something big," Cassandra clarified. Ashwin was already out of the water. He grabbed her arm and practically pulled her out of the water while she scrambled to pull herself up.

"What are you talking about?" Meranda responded, before ducking under the surface to see for herself. She came back up with a yelp of pain.

"Meranda! What happened?" Cassandra asked, grabbing the mermaid's arm to help support her.

"Yep," she grunted through the pain, "there's something down there."

"Ashwin! Go get a cooler!" Cassandra hollered, "We gotta' get her out of the water!"

"I think it bit me," Meranda elaborated.

"Oh, man that's a lot of blood," Cassandra whimpered as a red cloud formed in the lake. She heard the door bang open again and Ashwin hurtled out, tossing a cooler down the dock, where it slid on the slick wood until bumping into Cassandra. "OK, let's do this," she braced herself, before trying to heft Meranda out of the water, and failing.

"Oh god I think I felt it swim by again," Meranda whimpered.

"Ashwin!" Cassanda barked, and her cousin was there. With their combined strength they managed to all but toss Meranda into the cooler. They crumpled from the effort, breathing heavily, but Meranda butted in:

"I mean, we're lucky it's raining, and I can probably last a minute or two, but I need water to breathe," she pointed out.

With a concerned, exasperated grunt Cassandra struggled back to her feet again, zeroing in on a hose on the shop. Ashwin got up and started dragging the cooler to meet her halfway. As the running hose clacked against the inside wall of the cooler the cousins collapsed in relief.

"…Y'all really aren't cut out for this kinda' thing, are you?" Meranda commented, leaning over the cooler's edge. She let the teens sit and pant for a moment before adding, "there is still a lot of blood coming from some very painful bite marks in my tail."

"Oh, man," Cassandra realized, "what do we do? Do we take her to a vet?"

"That seemed demeaning," Ashwin commented, "but I doctor would freak out, too."

"Who wouldn't freak out?"

"…and knows the first thing about marine biology," Ashwin added.

They sat in silence and rain, thinking.

"Aunt Candy!" Ashwin concluded, "She's science-y! Maybe she'll help us!"

"It's worth a shot," Cassandra agreed. "Oh, jeez," she added, her shoulder getting drenched again as the colder overflowed, "gotta' go turn the hose off."

The last thing Candy Chiu expected when she opened the door was two soaking wet teenagers with vaguely desperate looks on their faces. And one of the things she expected was a unicorn out for revenge.

"Oh!" she squeaked, "Hello, children."

"Hi, Aunt Candy," Ashwin returned, "do you think maybe you could help us with something?"

"Perhaps. What is it that you need?" she asked, adjusting her glasses.

"Um, w-well," Ashwin began, but Cassandra drowned him out,

"We found a mermaid in the lake and something big and scary bit her and now she's really hurt and we don't know what do to so we came to you because you're science-y and if you were friends with our parents maybe you knew about weird stuff!"

"…I see," Candy accepted, "we will see what can be done. Where is the mermaid?"

"In a cooler on the back of the golf cart," Cassandra explained, tossing a thumb towards the cart.

"Okay. Let us get her inside."

It was much easier to carry the cooler with three people, and it didn't take long to get the cooler up onto the kitchen table, though not without grunts and comments from Meranda inside. They opened the lid and Candy stared for a moment.

"That is a mermaid," she confirmed.

"You bet, lady," Meranda tossed back.

"I have now seen every magical creature that I dreamed of as a child!" she squeaked before commenting, "That is a very bad bite, and though I am more of a woman of tech, I do know someone who can help. Layla?"

"What's happening, hon?" another woman asked, stepping into the kitchen to join them. "Oh!" she gasped.

"Do you remember how I told you about the strange things in this town?" Candy began, sheepishly, "This is a good example."

"A mermaid!" Layla gaped, "A real mermaid!" she reiterated, turning to her wife with an expression of joy and awe.

"I thought this might fit your interests. She's hurt; do you think you can help?"

"Hur-? Oh my gosh! That's a lot of blood!"

"Mm-hmm," Meranda agreed, "it really smarts. And it'd be really nice if something could be done about it instead of everyone just milling around going 'wow a mermaid'."

"Of course!" Layla agreed, "Be right back!" as she rushed off Candy turned to the teens,

"Layla is a marine biologist! We met when I was brought on to build some trackers."

"That's convenient," Cassandra noted, but didn't press the issue, because Layla bustled back into the room with arms full of gear, ready to go.

"Alright! We'll need to bandage you up, then get the water optimized for healing- Actually, you may not be able to go out into open water for a while-"

"What?!" Meranda yelped, "But- but my family! My parents are probably already freaking out! I've been gone for two days!"

"Well, maybe we can find a way to contact them," Layla offered half-heartedly, "but you really need to stay here for a few days while this heals. If you leave in this state you're far more likely to be attacked-"

"Layla," Candy butted in, "Don't scare fish girl."

"Meranda," she corrected, "my name's Meranda."

"We might could figure something out!" Cassanra piped up, "We could do some research, see what we find!"

"On how to communicate with mermaids?" Meranda retorted, "I doubt it. We avoid the human world like the plague."

"Maybe, but there's accounts of mermaids in these notebooks," she pointed out, "maybe there's a way to communicate!"

"Why don't you two go do your research on that, and we'll get Meranda all bandaged up."

"OK!" Cassandra chirped, "We'll be back!" she tossed over her shoulder as she rushed back out the door to the golf cart. Candy wondered briefly if she should have mentioned Mabel's fling with a mermaid.

Ashwin walked back into the room in dry clothes and drying his hair after a much-needed shower to find Cassandra sitting on the edge of the loft, towel across her lap, flipping through one of the notebooks.

"Dude," he sighed, "you're still soaked!"

"Not really," Cassandra responded, "just a little damp around the edges. Everything's a little extra clingy, but that's fine."

Ashwin went quiet for a moment, tugging on his red plaid shirt over his t-shirt, before asking,

"So, are you usually that gung-ho about mysteries?"

"What?" Cassandra responded, perking up.

"You just got really invested in all that. I wouldn't have thought a nerdy suburban kid like you would just jump into a lake like that."

"Oh, I'm nerdy and suburban? You've never seen this many trees in your life!"

"That wasn't the point," Ashwin retorted through a grin, "do you like her?"

"What?!" Cassandra squeaked.

"Do you have a crush on Meranda? I'm just wondering. You seem really invested in helping her out."

"I- I don't- It-" Cassandra's mind wandered for a moment; she hadn't even thought about it.

"Hey, no judgement!" Ashwin insisted, "You know I'm the last person to think you're weird… for that."

"Gee, thanks," Cassandra retorted. "and anyway-"

Her train of thought was interrupted as Faith burst into the room, a towel wrapped tight over her bathing suit as she scampered in to grab some fresh clothes.

"Hi guys!" she chirped.

"Hey, Fatih," Ashwin responded.

"The pool was really fun! I bet the lake wasn't half as fun!"

"I don't know," Ashwin considered, "we did meet a mermaid."

Meer steps from the door she froze and turned on her brother, eyes wide and jaw slack,

"A mermaid?!" she gaped, "You met a mermaid?!"

"Yep."

"You're lying," she concluded, squinting at him.

"No! Really! Cross my heart! You can come with us to meet her when we go see her again!"

"I can meet her?" Faith gasped, immediately awed again.

"Sure you can! No problem! Right, Cassandra?"

"Sure?" she offered back.

As the golf cart bumped along the dirt paths Faith piped up,

"Why aren't we going to the lake?"

"Well, see, the mermaid-"

"Her name's Meranda," Cassandra mentioned, already filling in perceived holes in Ashwin's story,

"Yeah, Meranda - she got hurt-"

"Something bit her."

"Something bit her, yeah, so we took her to aunt Candy who's making sure she gets fixed up."

"Oh," Faith squeaked back in acknowledgement as they pulled up at the cabin Candy and Layla were renting while they were in town for the reunion.

They rapped on the door and Layla answered,

"Oh, hey guys!" she beamed, gesturing them inside, "I got her all bandaged up, and she's grumpy, but she's doing just fine. She's down at the end of the hall - I put her in the bathtub to make it easier to change the water every so often."

"Hopefully they do not charge us an extra cleaning fee," Candy commented with a small smirk.

"The rental company never has to know," Layla waved the comment away.

The three kids headed down the hall without hesitation, quickly finding a bored mermaid in a bathtub.

"Wooaahh!" Faith gaped, "You're a real-live mermaid!"

"What is this, a zoo?" Meranda asked Cassandra, "You keep bringing more people to go 'ooh, aaah, she has a fish tail!'"

"Sorry," Cassandra responded, "but it's basically impossible for people not to be amazed. But I did some research!" she added, "OK, so, first I wondered about these magic bottles that the writer talks about, but since I don't know who he - I'm pretty sure it's a he - either way I don't know him so I can't really get my hands on one of those, but then I read that some mermaids could speak dolphin or something? And I thought of all the fish in the lake, and if maybe one of them could get a message?"

"Maybe," Meranda acknowledged, "but you can't speak to any fish, and I can't leave, so how do we get a message across?"

"You can really speak to fish?"

"Yeah, mostly. Freshwater fish might have a weird dialect, though."

"Wait! Do you think we could use a fish like a carrier pigeon?"

"What's a carrier pigeon?" Meranda asked.

"Oh, OK, so, I mean, like, could we give a fish a message - like literally attach it to a fish - and it could swim it out to your family?"

"That has potential," Meranda agreed, "it's just a matter of how to tell the fish where to go. But maybe we can work that out… can fish read?" she wondered aloud, "I guess they can? Or, at least, I can write something fish would understand, I think. I think," she added with a stern gesture at Cassandra, "I'm not sure."

"Well, you could try! It's worth a shot! Particularly if there's no other way we can think of-"

"Is it fun being a mermaid?" Faith interjected.

Meranda blinked at her, befuddled, before responding,

"I guess? Is it fun being human?"

"Sure!" Faith beamed, "I get to meet a mermaid!"

Meranda snorted,

"That comes with the territory, huh?"

"Well, no, but if I wasn't human I wouldn't get to meet you!"

"OK."

"Do you have underwater candy? Like saltwater taffy?"

"Um, well, lemme' think about that…"

The Q&A went back and forth around Meranda, questions coming from both Cassandra and Faith, Ashwin occasionally tossing one in, until Cassandra and Ashwin's phones buzzed with a curious text from their parents.

"We gotta' get home," Ashwin insisted, "Dinner's in like ten minutes."

"Alright," Cassandra reluctantly agreed, heading out of the room.

Meranda hesitated, but finally managed,

"You'll be back tomorrow, right?"

Cassandra turned back, a little stunned,

"Y-yeah, of course."

"Good. I need somebody to talk to other than these nerdy old ladies," Meranda explained, trying to play it of.

"See you in the morning," Cassandra grinned.

"Alright, nerd," Meranda responded, having picked up the term from Ashwin, "see you then."

…

…

…

Though the hexagonal demon had no eyes, you could get a sense from any and all of his expressive features that he was not invested in the conversation the small boy was trying to have with him.

"…And then she just walks on past me! There's mystery afoot and she asks if it can wait 'till morning! Who does that?! Am I wrong?" Mervin asked the demon in exasperation, "So I need your help to, I don't know, scare some sense into her?"

"And make her 'like' you?" Hectorgon prompted with a sigh.

"I mean, yeah, sure, but that's not the first priority."

"Listen, kid," the demon sighed, "it doesn't work like that. You can't just call me up and I'll do your bidding. You gotta' have something to give me in return. If you had some venison, three pounds of glitter, maybe some gold - a particularly fancy or peculiar hat, perhaps, I'd be willing to help you out a little, but demons don't work for free."

Mervin's hopes and confidence sank visibly.

"Look, I don't make the rules," Hectorgon responded with a shrug, "now can I get back to my millennia-nap, or what?"

"…You're saying I can't get a demon to help me screw up the Pines' girl?" Mervin confirmed, disheartened.

"That's right. It just doesn't work like- now hang on," the demon turned on a dime, "you said she was a Pines? Now I think I might just know a guy…"

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