The girls come over to check on me after lunch but they drop a bombshell instead
"You need to get out of here Mary's working with Rollins" Hannah says
"What? are you sure?!" I ask this doesn't seem right
"Yes Emily saw them" Aria says.
"Why should I believe you when you didn't even come back for me?" I ask defensively Mary's my family their not
"Look I was going to come back but I didn't want to tangle with Mary and honestly we gave you up to Uber A who had kidnapped Hannah, Look I'm sorry but we all saw you that night and though you had done it and Hannah's life was on the line" Aria says being honest
"Are you kidding me, Elliot tortured me because you told him I killed Charlotte?! What the hell GUYS?" I raise my voice aggravated as hell, how could they have handed me over like that
"We thought you were safe in Welby" Spencer says, oh yeah that's no excuse
"WELL I WASN'T!" I yell upset.
"What's going on?" Mary pops her head on the front porch looking worried
"Why don't you tell us, Why are you working with Rollins?" Hannah snaps
"Ali I was going to tell you everything tonight I swear, things were going so well and I didn't want to ruin it" She says looking upset
"Well you need to tell me now, I deserve an answer.. And girls you need to leave, Please just give me some time ok? I love you guys and I understand you were in a bind, I need time to cool off though" I say upset.
They leave and Mary walks to the kitchen counter and sits down I pull up a seat across from her
tears start to form in her eyes as she folds her hands out in-front of herself
"Alison, I was working with Rollins because I thought he was behind Charlotte's death, I was trying to find evidence and I was trying to protect you, the minute I found out she was dead I flew back home from over sea's
Charlotte was Biologically mine, I had her while I was in Radley and I wasn't allowed to keep her in there so Jessica ripped her away from me and adopted her
I found out you had married him and from the little I had found out about Charlotte and Rollins something was very off, They had been in love and from the research I'd done he was not who he said he was
I told Rollins I wanted part of Carisimi and used it as a way to get in with him and try to keep tab's to make sure you were safe
I visited you in the hospital when you had a concussion, I couldn't show up as myself I didn't want to freak you out, I was just happy I was able to see you, I told you he was good because I didn't want to freak you out
Look I went along with his plan to put you in Welby because I thought you'd be safe from him in there and I could get more directly involved through the nurses without you knowing about me till the time was right, and I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from everything that happened I wish I had done more to keep you safe
I used Carisimi because I didn't want Rollins getting any of the money especially if he had killed Charlotte, Which when I found out he was drugging you I told him he'd gone too far and he said If I didn't keep my mouth shut he'd do to me what he did to Charlotte, which confirmed my fear
Again I'm so sorry Alison I know now I shouldn't of gone along with his plans, I was just trying to protect you I swear I never meant to hurt you" She says covering her face in her palms in tears
"So Charlotte was yours Biologically and Elliot killed her? I don't understand, Ah this family is so warped and messed up! If he's not Rollins then who the hell is he?! I can't believe I married him! Why did you think going along with his plans was going to help keep me safe and why did you care so much about my safety, What is it you want with me, Where were you my whole life when I was getting ignored and abused? We didn't even meet until recently" I say upset and confused, she had good intentions but she was making my head spin I shouldn't of gone off on her like that though
"Ali, theirs something else I have to tell you and I want you to understand how sorry I am for everything you've been though(She looked deep into my eyes and held my hands, I let out a giant gulp)
Your my biological child too, Your father was an abusive alcoholic who used to beat me pretty badly, I had been out of Radley for a few years when I had you and I had gotten away from him
Jessica got wind of the fact that I had a baby a few days after you had been born and literally came and ripped you out of my arms, She had become infertile after Jason, You were sleeping in my arms and she ripped you right out of them and took you away from me, you started to cry and scream you looked at me with this look in your eyes
Like you had been abandoned by the only thing you had in this world, you were 2 days old and looked terrified, Like you knew I'd never get to hold you again you even tried to reach out towards me, my heart shattered
She was screaming that I was too mentally Ill to have a kid, She payed off the maternity wing to let her forge my signature for her to adopt you, I was devastated, you were my whole world and I loved you more than anything, I always have and it killed me inside when she took you away from me I wanted you more than anything, I loved Charlotte too so much but you were my baby girl
You were all I had, I kept fighting her for years only to get no where, I could tell she ignored you and didn't really want you and that made me so sad, It killed me inside that she wouldn't even let me see you or Charlotte
She already had Charlotte locked up in Radley and honestly as much as I hate hospitals needed mental help, but maybe she'd of come out differently if I had raised her
But when you were born I thought things were finally going to be okay for once, that we'd have each other and that I'd make sure you grew up to be a good person, You had my heart from the moment I saw you on the sonogram, you were so innocent and precious
I always wanted you and I love you so much, but when Jessica put out a restraining order on me for coming around asking to see you I left and just started bouncing around the world, I had a few suicide attempts and just kept running because I didn't know what else to
When I saw you in Welby and you said your mom had buried you in the ground alive my heart broke all over again, I never would have done anything like that or ever intentionally hurt you in any way, If I had known Jessica was dead before I would have come back and found you a long time ago
I'm sorry I know probably should of just told you the truth from the start but I was scared and so terrified that I'd freak you out or that you wouldn't want me and just not love me at all, I've had ptsd most of my life and have been traumatized, I had already been rejected so many times by people
I didn't think I could handle it if my own blood daughter didn't want me, If you want me to pack up my stuff and go I understand, I'm just so sorry my sweet girl" She says shaking and breathing heavily I go to get up but she bolts upstairs.
I burst into hysteric's myself, no wonder I had felt so connected to her, she was my mom it all made sense, this feeling I kept having like I had met her before, why I felt an instantaneous attachment to her
No wonder I had so much abandonment issues I had been taken away from my only family member who had ever genuienly wanted me, from what she had told me I was so attached to her for an infant, I saw the files on the table
They were my birth certificate and adoption records, if I had any doubts I didn't anymore, I can't help but feel so distraught and angry at the woman who had raised me here I was thinking I had a mom who had died and had never cared that much about me or really loved me, who never hugged me or was affectionate in any way.
Thinking I was defective for having a mom who didn't want me and buried me alive only to find out all this time later that I had been taken away from my real mom who had wanted me more than anything, loved me with all her heart and would of never tried to hurt me like my "Mom" had
God I don't even know what to call her anymore she's not my mom and what she did was awful and just cruel to both me and my real mom, if I had gotten the love, care, support and motherly affection I needed I never would of gone through my mean phase or held my breath to get what I wanted I would of been different as a kid I never would have been brought up as a professional liar.
Oh god Mar-Mom I don't want her to think I don't want her or am abandoning her I rush upstairs and find her curled up in a ball in my bed panicking in hysterics, I lie down next to her
"Come here" I say wrapping my arms around her protectively She sobs into my shoulder "Shh, It's okay, I'm so sorry I didn't know, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I want you as my mom and nothing is ever going to make me stop loving you" I say softly stroking her hair, her breathing starts to level, shes just as traumatized as I am and she deserves so much support, We've finally had each other again.
She looked up deep into my eyes "You really mean that? You want me?" She says looking so broken.
"Of course I mean it.. My-Jessica, she was so cold and distant towards me, she never hugged me or told me that she loved me, I don't know that she even cared or wanted me, she warped me into her web of lies at a very young age and I had to raise myself, I had no one and I thought I was defective that there was something wrong with me that my parents didn't want me
She buried me alive and I was on the run for years, in hiding everyone thought I was dead for most of that time, sometimes I was on the street's sleeping on benches I went through hell and back again, I had a few suicide attempts too I felt so broken, All I ever wanted was just to be loved and wanted.. When you came in my room and touched my hand I felt this connection, a feeling that I just couldn't place no one had ever shown me a kind touch like that, I had this deep intuitive feeling that I couldn't place like I had known you before
When you hugged me all of a sudden I wondered where you had been all my life when I needed someone like you? from that moment on I wanted you in my life more than anything, I didn't know anything about you other than what you had told me, I just knew that I had been running chasing trying to find what you had made me feel my whole life and you had made me feel it in seconds
I'm so sorry If I had known about you and what M-Jessica had done I would gone looking for you a long time ago. I went through hell and years of thinking no one wanted me and here you were all along and it breaks my heart, we both needed each other so much and she kept us apart. Your everything I ever wanted and I never want to get separated from you like that again, I love you more than anything, Oh mom" I say emotionally crying.
I kiss her cheek emotionally
"I love you too Ali more than you'll ever know, I'm so sorry you went through all of that, You deserve so much more than what happened to you, If I had known you were on the run I would have tried to find you.. We've got each other back again and that's more than I thought I'd ever have, you mean the world to me sweetie" She says giving me a long kiss on the forehead
We snuggled into each other and stayed like that for an hour just lost in each others arms, she fell asleep about 10 minutes in I didn't mind though I had been taken away from her once before and we had both been through hell alone, it made me never want to let go of her again.
She woke up and rolled away from me slightly "What time is it?" She asks groggy
"6:30" I say softly
"That late already? Do you want to go downstairs and have dinner?" She says wrapping her arms tight around me drawing herself closer
"Dinner sounds good, but can I ask you something?" I couldn't get that dream off my mind ever since she had told me she was my mom
"What's up honey?" She asks looking into my eyes I could tell she was worried.
"I had a dream last night.. Someone came to the house and was arguing with m- Jessica, said they wanted to see me and that I had been taken away from them among other things.. She made them leave. I just want to know, Did it really happen? was it you?" I ask she looks at me sadly
"Yes, you were about 4 that was the day Jessica filed the restraining order, I just wanted to see you and make sure you were okay, she wouldn't let me do that, I threatened to take her back to court and try to fight for them to reverse the adoption again, I just wanted you back so badly and I knew she was ignoring you by the way she was acting" She says tearing up again
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, it was just haunting me, I remembered having this panicked feeling that something was really wrong and just feeling this overwhelming sense of emotional pain
I was very confused as to why someone would of been looking for me.. Yes she was ignoring me she told me to not bother her and go watch tv.. I just wish I had known what was going on, I would have run out the door and ran off with you, I knew she didn't want me" I say emotional I bury my head in her shoulder.
"It's okay don't apologize.. If you had done that I probably would have gone to jail for kidnapping you, But I know what you mean, I wanted to break down the door, wrap you up in my arms and just never let go. I'm sorry too but I'm here now and I'll try my hardest to be the mom you need I promise.. I love you so much Alison" She says cradling my head in her hand
"I love you too mom" I say, it felt so natural calling her mom, this is how it should have been all of those years, no lies, no being ignored, Just love and motherly attention.