I really hate writting on my phone, but i deleted the whole chapter six and I've decided not to use my laptop for a while because everytime I turn it on I get mad. 6k words died. I tried to do it like I had written it in the first place, but got tired and decided to save some things for the next chapter.
Anyway, it's derek's bday, will meredith say yes?, and what about that meeting at the hospital?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show. If I owned Grey's anatomy, well, Derek would be alive. And a lot of people wouldn't exist.
Chapter 6.— how to make a decision 101.
Decisions.
Her life had been full of bad ones, but the decisions she had made had been the ones that had taken her to where she is standing right now.
Right or wrong, it doesn't matter. How you deal with it?, that's what matters.
And no one teach you how to make a decision. It's just pick what you think t's better for you.
It sounds easy. But life is not easy. There is someone out there who loves making her life complicated.
It was just coffee. But the thing is she had never done this before.
Coffee, drinks. It's all the same. And even if it looks like it's just coffee, it never is. There is always more than that. She can do the one night stands thing. She is very good at it, and if I've seen you I don't know you. That's how it has been since she lost her virginity. Since she discovered sex.
Her 200$ per hour shrink had said that she had abandonment issuses, and that she looked for the love her father didn't give her in the men she had sex with.
She was afraid to commit. Because she was used to people leaving. But her fears was what pushed them away. She pushed them away. And she was trying to do exactly the same with Derek. The difference was that this time, everything was different. Bigger. The way he made her feel was not normal. She didn't feel normal when she was around him.
But was she going to risk it?, getting hurt?
Was it worth it?
That's what she needed to figure out.
Because it was easier. It was easier to hide. To not let people inside the walls that surrounded her heart.
But once in high school she had played Juliet. Brian Harper had been Romeo. Everyone was jealous. But she had learned something. It was not about kissing the hottest guy of her class. It was that people usually do stupid things for love. And she didn't love Derek. But dating usually leads to a relationship. And she didn't want to fall for him.
And she had a lot of things to think of before saying yes. For him, it may be just coffee, for her it changed a lot of things. Like the fact that she would be dating her mom's intern. Or that he would be dating his boss's daughter. If her mom found out she could destroy Derek. Ellis had wanted Meredith to grow up. But if she had repeated something to her her whole life it had been that love makes us ordinary. That everyone can fall in love and be blindly happy; but not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life.
And that may be true. But right now, falling for Derek seemed harder than her finals.
She did want to know him. Amelia was great, and she wondered if the rest of his sisters where like that. But she knew more things about him that he knew about her. And he said he liked her. But he barely knew her.
Anyway, her head was going to explode. Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't even have to make the decision just yet.
"Don't worry, , the surgery went perfectly, she'll wake up soon." He whispered after checking up the little girl laying on the bed.
This was his last post-op. It was 5pm and his shift was finally over, in a normal day he would be dying to go home and get some sleep. But sleep was overrated. At least whe it came to Meredith. He had regretted saying: if you say no, you'll never see me again." Thes second the words came out of his lips, but he figured it was his last option. He could't keep asking if she kept saying no. There is an amount of rejection a man can take.
"Thank you ." The woman, who was in her early thirties and had sixteen years old daughter smiled. He didn't like to pry, but he was good at asuming. Everything looked like she had gotten pregnant in high school and kept the baby. The father was not in the picture. It was going to be a hard recovery for Harper,— the daughter.
But maybe, it would be even harder on her mother.
He shook his head, they didn't have to thank him. It was his job.
He left the room, he was relieved, and almost thirty years old. Tomorrow was his birthday, and also, tomorrow, he was expecting his whole family. It was going to be a chaos. He could use some time with Meredith. He felt comfortable with her. And that was everything he needed to know right now.
He started walking towards the lockers room when the sound every surgeon hates when it's time to go home interrupted his lame thoughts.
His pager went off.
911.
And you can't ignore a 911.
This couldn't be. He needed to get to Meredith. If he blew her off he was sure that was it. She would never say yes if he didn't go right now.
" !" He saw Ellis Grey walking towards him." What are you doing standing there?, go to ER!" She yelled.
And well, ignoring Ellis Grey was worse than ignoring a 911.
Crap.
He needed to be quick, and even if it was a train collision, as tempting as it sounded he needed to avoid scrubbing in. Because if he scrubbed in he would never make it.
"How to see the future." Meredith groaned as she read the book's cover. In what kind of world was she living when they make books for that?
And to learn how to tie your shoes.
But they don't make books to learn how to make a freaking decision.
She needed help. She needed someone to encourage her to say yes. Beause she wanted to. But she knew herself, and she was going to say no.
Meredith sighed exasperated. It was cold, no one came to the book store when it was freezing outside. And in Seattle, it never stopped rainning.
Suddenly her phone's screen lit up. Paige, her roomate had sent her text. And that, was weird. They hated each other. Well, hating was a big word, maybe just... ignored each other.
« I hope you weren't on the train. » it said. Meredith twitched her eyebrows. Maybe she was high. Or she had sent it to the wrong M.
«sorry?» She texted back. She saw the three dots, Paige was typing.
Paige and her ignored each other, but when you live with someone you get to know them. Paige was messy, but never made a mistake. She was always presting attention at what she did. It was just weird.
«you said you were going to Seattle. There's been a train collision.»
Meredith's heart skipped a beat, quickly turning the tv on. That was awful.
Bad things kept happening on the world. And she kept wondering how everything could be so screwed up.
He had to find a leg. He had thought it would be an easy job, but apparently, a leg was not something you see everyday. Well, you do, but not an amputed leg. The paramedics were tired of telling him they didn't have it. And was waiting for him to appear in OR 1 with a left leg on his arms.
The fun fact was that they had found two right legs.
And one of them belonged to someone who was at Mercy West. So his leg could be in any hospital in Seattle. It was 7pm. He was going to miss Meredith.
"I've got a left leg" Olivia—, now his favourite nurse—, yelled.
"Mine!" He answered quickly, literally taking the body part from her and rushing down the tunels. He needed to get to that OR.
"I've got it!" He exclaimed, breathless and sweaty. looked up from the man's injuries to stare at the leg on his arms. He narrowed his eyes, shooting Derek a death glare. The intern frowned, but then, realised that the pacient laying on the table had hairy legs. His left leg was waxed and the nails were red.
He was never going to see Meredith.
Meredith started pacing. It was a major trauma. And it was 7:30 pm. It was starting to be a little late for coffee. She was used to live with a surgeon. They are never home. And Derek was an intern. She barely remember her mom's internship, but something tells her that it had been one of the reasons why her dad had left. She barely remembered her mother at the age of 5-6 years old. Just a man with a tired face who poured her cereal.
But anyway, doctors are the biggest liars. She loved surgery and medicine, but if she hadn't wanted to go to med school in the first place it had been because he hated doctors. They all had that stupid god complex. She wanted to save lives. She practised on cadavers, studied and watched surgeries and felt that rush of energy. She couldn't wait to scrub in a real one. That felt great. But she was never going to make promises she couldn't keep. A doctor lives at the hospital.
Doctors, usually sell their soul to medicine.
The store closed at 9. She was giving him one hour and a half.
And well, that was also the time she was giving herself to make a decision.
Meredith turned the tv off— It was giving her a headache. She licked her top lip, letting out a long sigh.
Then, the doorbell ringed and she felt excited. She turned her head quickly, hoping to meet Derek's eyes. But she found a brown chocolate pair, hiding behind a big glasses.
"Hello, Can I help you?" Meredith asked politely to the little girl, who may have been twelve or eleven years old.
"Yes." She replied politely. "Do you have cooking books?"
Cooking books. That was what Derek had wanted.
At 8:30 pm Derek had found a hairy left leg. At 8:56 pm he wanted to die. He had stopped to buy some wine. Because coffee at 9 pm was not a very good idea. He just hoped she would give him a chance after being this late.
He wished he had had more time. To buy some food. But wine was good. It suit the place where he had decided to take her. He was going to take her to his place. The one he had discovered his first night in Seattle. Derek was a sprotive person. He loved hiking, and somehow he had ended at some land. It was great, and there was a cliff where you could sit down and see the entire landscape of Seattle.
If he didn't have an intern's salary he would buy it. But with his family paying for Amelia's education they were almost broke.
Meredith was disappointed. She was going to say yes. Or at least try to. She didn't know what had convinced her because there were more cons than pros. But maybe, everything was about the cooking book she had in her hands.
Maybe, him not comming was for the best. Maybe life was telling her she should say no. But she definitely was dissappointed.
Meredith sighed, leaving the book on the bag again, she struggled with the keys for a few seconds before she could get it right.
It was rainning like someone was angry.
She turned around, planning on making her way to her car, but her tiny body collided with a bigger one, she would have fallen down if a big arms hadn't caght her quickly. She looked up to meet his eyes.
"Derek?" She whispered. He was there.
"I was supposed to come hours ago. " he tried to explain." But— a leg, a left leg and I..."
"What?" She half giggled, trying to understand what he was saying.
"It doesn't matter. I know it's late. Too late for coffee anyway." He sighed. He was holding something appart from her in his hands. When she had gotten her balance back, he let go of her, pulling a bottle of wine out instead"I stopped to go buy wine, because now... Now wine sounds good. And... I know this place where you can see the ferryboats."
"I love ferryboats." She whispered. She did love them.
Derek smiled, taking her hand and guiding her towards his car.
Meredith Grey was tipsy. She couldn't stop giggling, just like Derek. — boys giggle?, chuckle, they chuckle. She just hated that word.
She was having a great time. Derek was funny, and this, was nothing like what she was expecting. Derek seemed like that kind of person who eats at restaurants. Although, being an intern you can't afford much. But this was perfect. She felt, somehow, free.
The stars were shinning above them, and the night sky was everything she saw when she left her body fall down on the wet grass. It had stopped rainning a few minutes ago. They were both soaking wet; but this time, she barely cared about that.
They had wine.
"What's your favourite color, Derek?" She asked.
Derek chuckled. "That's a lame question." Meredith rolled her eyes.
"We are on a date. A weird date. Not like the dates you see on the movies. Or maybe, this would be the kind of date you would see on a movie. On a very weird movie. " Meredith blushed when she realised she was rambling, and a very amused Derek couldn't get his eyes off her. "Sorry." She cleared her throat. Derek waited for her to continue.
» "what I was trying to say was that since we are on a date, we are supposed to know things about each other. " Her voice sounded funny. And maybe, it would be even worse after she finished the glass of wine she had in her left hand.
"Okay, okay." He chuckled again. "My favourite colour is blue. But not blue blue exactly." He said. What the hell is the color « not blue blue »?, Meredith wondered.
"Not blue blue exactly?" She finally asked." What does that mean?"
"It means... Indigo. I love indigo." He grinned, laying down next to her, taking a sip of wine, the red liquid covering his lips before his tougue swiped it off.
Meredith bit her top lip.
"What's your favourite color?" Now, it was his turn.
"Purple." She answered. It was a simple reply. She didn't like not purple purple exactly. She just loved purple.
"Your hair smells like lavender." He pointed out.
"Are you one of those creepy men who smells women's hair?" She joked, laughing openly.
"Hm... Maybe." He shrugged, his blue eyes shinning. His eyes were exactly like Amelia's eyes; the difference was that Derek's eyes were so deep. So... Warm.
But now, his blue eyes were not pointing at the sky. They were looking at her. In a way she was sure no one had ever looked at her.
"So... Next question... Your turn." She breathed nervously, trying not to look at him. The point was to know him, not to make out with him. She wanted to start this right.
"I am not very good at the questions thing." Derek admitted.
"Me neither, just pick a normal one. Things are cliché becaude they work."
"True." He nodded, it looked like he was actually thinking. "What's your favourite band?" He finally asked.
"We are awful at the questions thing." Meredith giggled. If anyone could read Derek's thoughts he would be thinking that Meredith's laughter was the best sound he had ever heard.
"We are." Derek agreed. "But you have to answer."
"I know. My favourite band is duran duran." Derek twitched his eyerows.
"You can't be serious!" He exclaimed.
"What?" She laughed." I am!"
Of course, Derek didn't seem like someone who would be into the music she usually listened.
"I hate to break it to you, but you have an awful taste" he shook his head softly.
"Really." She crossed her arms over her chest after slapping his arm." So, Mr.Ihaveagreatasteinmusic, what's your favourite band?"
"That's a long name." Derek laughed. " Well, The Clash of course." He said like it was actually obvious, and like if the clash was the best group band ever.
But in that moment Meredith didn't just discover that Derek liked the clash; she also discovered that Derek Shepherd had even a worse taste in music than she had."Now, I can't believe you were saying my taste in music is bad. Yours is even worse!" She exclaimed. Derek took his hand to his own chest, faking to be offended.
"Seriously?"
"Uh, uh." She nodded, taking a sip of her wine.
"Okay, you lost a lot of points just for that." He joked.
"You too." Meredith shurgged, leaning her head on his shoulder. She was confortable there.
"Since we've both lost lost points, we have to re- gain them. Next question?"
"My turn..." Meredith hesitated. "What do you do on your free time?"
"I am an intern, I don't have free time." Derek sighed, Meredith rolled her eyes. For some weird reason, he liked to annoy her. Maybe just because she looked cute. "Okay. I fish."
"You fish?" She asked, Derek replied with a nod.
"I wouldn't have pegged you as a fishing man." She admitted.
"Don't peg me, I am not peggable." He laughed."I also like hiking, that's how I discovered this place." He explained.
"Really?" She breathed." I love hiking two. It relaxes me. It's like... I stop thinking."
"Yeah..." He turned to look at her, this time their eyes meet. She grinned softly, and Derek did what he had been wanting to do all day. He kissed her. And when he kissed her there wasn't anything bot the two of them. Existing together in the same armony.
"Happy birthday, Derek." She whispered against his lips.
"You know?" He seemed surprised, although he knew how talkative his sister was, so in fact, he really shouldn't be surprised.
"You sister told me." She admited, leaving his embrace softly to reach her bag. "And I know we barely know each other, but... I hate birthdays, which is a long story, but Amelia said you love them, or that you were going to love your gift. I don't really remember. And It's stupid, and corny. But... Well, our first date is weird. Not bad weird just... Great. But cosmopolitan said we are not supposed to have sex till third date, I guess we skipped that but—before she could keep talking, he shut her up pressing his lips against hers.
"I... I was rambling..." She said between kisses." Again." Kiss." So—"kiss" rry.." She giggled.
"Okay, my head was trying to catch everything you were saying, but It was way too fast." Derek smiled.
"Sorry." She apologised again.
Her mom hated the rambling.
"It's okay, I love it."
"You do?" She asked with a frown.
"Yeah, it's cute." He chuckled." Althought I need you to explain what you were trying to say. "
"Oh right." She said quickly. "Anyway... Since it's your birthday, and you are spending the first hours with me... I bought you this... " she whispered, her cheeks taking a soft shade of red as she handed him the book.
"A cooking book?" He asked. She could tell he was smiling.
"If you don't like it I can give it back... I mean, I work at the store so It would be easy and...– " she stopped herself before she could start rambling again.
"I didn't lie about that. Cooking, I mean. I love it. And I love the book. It's perfect. " he said heartly.
Derek had dropped Meredith at the library where she had her car parked. She had said she had forgotten about it. Derek couldn't help but smile at the memory of the clumsy cute girl. And looking at the time it was, you could say they had had a good time since it was almost three am. He had stayed having a conversation that seemed to be infinite with Meredith Grey. And he hadn't wanted it to end.
Derek didn't want to check his phone either. He had turned it off when he had decided to go see Meredith, he was not in the mood to talk to anyone, but since it was already his birthday, he was sure that all of his sisters, including his mom and friends had already sent him their happy birthday Derek messages.
He would look at them tomorrow.
His family's plane didn't arrive till 1pm, so he had time to be a good brother and son in the morning. He could use the train collision as an excuse. He just needed Mark to back him up. But like everything else, he would take care of it in the morning.
He missed Meredith. He had learned that she was a med student, which made her even better for him. She was funny, beautiful, sexy and smart. What else could he ask for?
He was happy; and it was even better than that surgery high you get after your first surgery.
Meredith Grey was trying to avoid Derek. Not avoid avoid him exactly; but she was trying not to run into him at the hospital. Because that was not how he wanted him to find out that she was Ellis Grey's daughter.
She made her way towards the nurses station. Debbie was already smiling. Debbie was like the queen of the gossip at the Seattle Grace show, which was another reason to avoid Derek. If someone saw them, her mother would know. She had ears and eyes everywhere. It didn't matter if she was in surgery or not.
"Are you my birthday present?"
Crap.
She freeze on her spot, afraid to turn and look at him. Maybe if she didn't look at him he would disappear.
She would make the worst spy ever. Meredith tried to draw a smile on her lips, turning to see Derek, but she didn't just see him, alone. Because he wasn't. This was her worst nightmare since the panties one.
"Mom!" She exclaimed, sending Derek a death glare, to keep his mouth shut.
Derek kind of understood her; but he was looking at her in the way everyone looked at her when they learned who her mom was. Although, this time, there was something else there.
"I thought you were never going to come. When are you going to learn that punctuallity is important if you want to be a surgeon?" Great. Now she was lecturing her, in front of Derek.
He seemed like he wanted to run. He was going to run. She wouldn't blame him, but again, she would be dissappointed. And maybe, something else. She liked him. Their date had been great and she couldn't stop thinking about him. It was wrong and crazy. And probably would end up badly, like right now. But she had decided to risk it.
"And what are you doing standing there, ?" Her mom asked him. Poor Derek. Ellis Grey was a cold bitch. She didn't have friends; everyone was too scared of her to try to socialize with her. Maybe that was why she was so bitter.
"Der— ." She corrected herself quickly." Was telling me where I could find you." She lied nervously.
"Well, he can go now." Ellis indirected. Meredith bit her lip awkwardly, muttering a soft «sorry » under her breath.
After her semanal check up with her mother, not exchanging more than a few fines, and of course, her usual lecture about growing up and stopping partying and focusing on her studies, Ellis left.
Meredith needed to find Derek.
She would run if she was him. She just hoped he didn't.
To be honest, idk how i feel about this chapter, the fact that I had to write it again destroyed me, but well, writting it again made me see some things in a different perspective. Hope you guys liked it too!
please review:) and thank you so much to the people who left a rv on chapter 5.