A/N Oh hello. I bet you were wondering where I was? Well I was babysitting my 4 month old nephew. And before you ask, No I won't tell you his name but I will say he's the coolest nephew a guy could have. Now I know what you're asking is what's my costume as Deadfox? Well...

Oh yeah. This is the perfect Costume it's a orange jumpsuit with foxy fur and a foxy mask ears with white eyes and two swords. Okay... it's similar to Deadpool. Just go with it, all right? Well anyway I was standing on the rooftop on a cloudy day. I sigh at the sight, looking for some bad guys to beat up. Suddenly I heard something I've wanting to hear for three hours. A woman's scream.

"Oh yeah. It's fucking hero time. Cue the theme... oh right. it's against the rules to post lyrics. This fic just got more fucked up." Oh well I jumped from the building then the stairs of an apartment. I then see two thugs attempting to grope a familiar looking woman. She had purple hair and white eyes... It's Hinata. The chick that had a crush on me since hight school and I never noticed it until she told me but that was a long time ago. You won't see a flashback because Hinata is irrevalant.

"Hey!" I called out to them they looked from behind and widen their eyes at my costume.

"Listen, Dudes. Here's what I'm gonna do." I told them as I took a piece of paper out of my pocket. It was a drawing of me punching clowns cause that's what crooks are. A bunch of clowns.

"This guy is me. And these clowns are you once I beat the shit out of you. And then you're gonna cry to your mommies after I fuck my girlfriend."

They both looked at each other and laughed while rolling on the ground. It's probably the orange. Why did Sakura make my costume orange? Oh yeah because a fox is orange.

"Yeah I know what you douches are thinking 'ooh.. orange.' Well blame the guy who is writing this fic... Speaking of which" I Get my cell phone to call the writer.

"Hey NSFK, when do I get paid? What? You mean I volunteered? When?" I Hear him telling me that it happened after he saw Deadpool.

"Oh yeah. So now what?"

"How about you get back to work and shoot those motherfuckers?" He told me. I turned off the phone and check out YouTube.

"Oh look, The Angry Video Game Nerd made a new video."

"Hey." The crook called out to me. "Aren't we gonna fight?"

"Oh Haha. James you clever bastard. You really brought us to the past.

"Hey, ASSHOLE! I'm talking to you!"

"Oh yeah." I said as I hit my I head. "I knew I was forgetting something." I pulled out my gun and shot the bastard's legs off as he winced. Hinata had her hands on her mouth then her white eyes stared at me with a shy smile.

"T-hank you sir." She stammered. And no unlike the canon Hinata, she's not a selfish woman whom knitted a scarf while her sister is kidnapped.

The other guy screamed while running towards me. I sighed then grabbed him and punched him unconsisously. I looked at Hinata again then gave her a salute.

"Well it's nice work Ma'am." I said in a stupid goofy voice. "But I gotta go kick other bad guy's asses." She stuttered then waved goodbye. And no you won't see her again because like I said, she's not important to the story. As I was leaping I heard the bank was being robbed.

"Well it looks like it's your unfriendly superhero may need a paycheck." I snapped by fingers and it teleported me to the bank. I see a bunch of losers holding a man at gunpoint. Luckily nobody saw me as I snuck from behind so no one can see me. I grabbed the dude, tied him up and did the most horrible thing a man can give to another.

"Tittie twister!" I exclaimed as I squeezed his nipples. He screamed in pain as I squeezed some more until he fell down and passed out. I then whispered to his ear.

"My girlfriend has better titties than you do." I said to the proably dead man. That's right! MY tittie twisters could kill a guy. I fought crime all day then took a break. I sat at the park bench in Konoha Park where I see kids playing together. Later a Man with whom looks to be indian. He looks pretty depressed so I decided to start a conversation.

"Bad day, huh?" He looked at me and surprisingly he answered me.

"You don't know the half of it, buddy." He mumbled. He then carries a cigarette and smokes it.

"Girlfriend problems? You lost your job? You lost a bet on that Warriors game?" He looked at me in a bewildered look.

"Wow! You seem to know my life problems. Are you an angel?"

"Nah, just a lucky guess. I'm a superhero that shoots bad guys... And fucks my girlfriend."

He scoffed then said "Lucky you. I'm a lowly cab driver with a girl I'm not sure that loves me. I wonder if I'm worth living/

"Hey, Hey. I protested. "You may not be the hottest guy or the smartest or the coolest. Or Chuck Norris. And no I'm not doing the Nostalgia Critic joke... yet. But the point is that even though I met you, I think you're a guy that a chick could fall for. Believe me I know." The man was touched by my words. I know it's not something Deadpool would say but I have morals.

"Hey.. you're right. I should give myself confidence and not give up on Sheray. Thank you...uh..."

"Just call me Deadfox." We shook hands and took off to his cab. Oh it's almost 5:30 and my mom is making ramen with chimichangas.

Deadfox: Mmm mmm. Damn those are good. Uh anyway. I just completed this chapter and the next one is a romantic one that involves me and Sakura. And no it's not a lemon. The author is not good at Lemons and I wish he wasn't much of a pain...

Me:Ahem.

Deadfox:Oh sorry. Anyway enjoy the chapter while I go bet on who wins the NBA Finals.