I am back! I had a great time, made a lot of friends, cried a lot but I met great people, and well, I still talk to them and it was just great! What can I say?
About the story, this chapter is long. A lot of things happen. I like drama, this is not bad drama. Just something our couple needs to get over with and well I wanna do it soon. And since i love drama, I had to do it my way. Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writting it. I've decided I am gonna reply the reviews in the end. I LOVE them. Thank you guys!
Ps: I don't know what happened on my other story. I posted chapter 2 and the it got deleted and people asked about chapter two so it obviously posted but now it's not letting me update . Anyone knows how to fix that?
Chapter ten.
It was like driving a fast car.
People die.
She learnt that the first moment her mom explained what she worked as. She said she was a surgeon. Surgeon. You get to play god. You have lives in your hands. You can decide who dies and who survives. The right thing to do is to save everyone. If you are a surgeon, that's your duty. That's what they trusted you to do. The families. The person. When they lay in your OR, you have them. They are yours.
And as a surgeon, you know death. Geez, sometimes, you feel like the death in person. In med school they tell you that people die. But they don't tell you that you are going to lose more than you save.
"Maybe if we had..." He tried to say.
"There was nothing we could have done, Dr Shepherd." Dr Weller said. He could still hear the machines beeping in his head. Screaming that life was leaving Amy Carlson's body.
The tiny girl laid in front of them. She was another one. Derek wondered, why did he do this? To save lives? Well, he was making a good damn job in that. He had been telling himself since monday that you can't save everyone. It was sunday. 8 people in 7 days. Too much blood.
"Dinner was great." She said, her fingers playing with his hand, entwined to hers as they made their way towards her front door.
"Dinner was excellent." He agreed; smiling.
"Uh-hm." She bits her lower lip."So... I have some... Coffee." She smirked, taking a step towards him, her fingers were now playing on his chest." Wanna come in and have a cup with me?" She raised an eyebrow.
He knew what coffee at 9pm after a date meant. He grinned, smirking back at her. He was about to open his lips to pronounce a soft of course when his pager spoke before he did.
"Crap." He cursed. Meredith sighed. "I am sorry. 911."
It was always a 911. She thought- She wanted to say.
"This is the fourth time in two days." She sighed.
"Mer..." He leaned towards her, his hands on her shoulders. But again, his pager spoke again.
She knew she was being selfish, and hypocrite. Her life was going to be like that sooner or later. She didn't own Derek. The hospital did. And he was an intern, he didn't have a choice. Doctors don't have a choice when it comes to a 911. She has studied that. 911 means you have to show up as fast as you can. 911 is a doctor's duty call. It would be like batman ignoring his sign in the sky or whatever.
Still, she took a step back. "My mom needs you." She said in a harshly voice. "You should go."
"Meredith, you know I am an intern you knew this... I am sorry. I can't help it." He tried to explain. He didn't know what else to do. She had been fine with it at first. But she never told him it bothered her. Well, he knows it's annoying. But he wants her to talk to him about things.
"I know, I know." She repeats." I am just... Tired." She shakes her head." Days move fast. I just want to spend time with you."
Before I leave. She didn't say it. She couldn't believe how fast she was falling for him.
His pager beeped again. He needed to answer it." I know, me too. But–" He groaned, clearing his throat."Okay, you... Rest. I... We'll talk about this, okay?"
She didn't reply.
"Mer, please." He begged.
"Okay."She gives in with a sigh.
That's all he needs, at least now.
When Derek reaches the hospital, all he sees is a huge chaos taking over ER.
"Dr Shepherd, over here!" Dr Weller exclaims looking at him for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the patient.
Dr Nancy Weller is a world-renowed neurosurgeon. Creator of the Weller method. Basically a rockstar. She is all he wanted to be. He loves working with her, and she was not like the rest of attendings. She is not an arrogant bitch. She is warm, tall and a good teacher. She always succeded. Derek can't imagine her in any other position.
"Hey, Dr Weller. Sorry I was..." He starts to say. That's not important. His boss doesn't want to know about his love life problems."I was a little bit far away." He says.
"It's okay." She smiles."I know you had the day off, but I just thought you would love this case." She smirks at him softly.
Derek's eyes spark. He feels bad. He wanted to be with Meredith. He hates himself for leaving her in the middle of the date; but well, he didn't have the choice. And if he had to be here, this was at least a good thing.
"She had a car crash a few hours ago; She is stable now, but I am going to have to do a very special operation. I thought you would like to participare in the weller Method." She explains. His heart skips a beat.
This is like having the holy grail of surgery in his hands.
"Hell yeah I am in." He replies quickly."she has a tumour."
Dr Weller nods."One of the size of a baseball ball." She says. "It was incurable, they had given up. Every other doctor told them there was nothing they could do." She sighs. "Of course, they hadn't tried me." Derek smiles as they walk.
"And you are the best."
"Exactly." She smirks." We just need the parents consent. I think I can save her."
Derek nods again.
This was a good night.
"Mr Carlson?" His boss asks. A tall man turns to look at them. His eyes were empty.
"How is she?" A short, brown haired woman jumps from her seat quickly.
"She is stable." Nancy nods. The parents sighled in relief.
"But she is not okay." Mr Carlson whispers. "She is dying, and she almost acelerated the process. " he laughs harshly.
"Gary..." Mrs Carlson shakes her head.
"My name is Nancy Weller. I've seen her chart. You have tried lots of doctors and-"
"And there is nothing we can do. We know that." Gary Carlson snaps.
"That's not what I wanted to say. I think I can help your daughter. I believe that there is nothing imposible. I am the creator of the Weller Method. There is a surgery to take the tumour out. Or at least, make it smaller. Reduce the brain damage and make it easier for the chemo to kill it." She explains softly.
Derek sees the two parents break in front of them.
"But..." Gary's voice breaks."They said she was going to die in six months. Two now I..." He looks at them confused. "Why the other doctors didn't tell us about this?"
Nancy clears her throat. She knew this was comming."It's a trial. My clinical trial. They are not experienced enough in it to do it." She explains , but before she could go on, Gary cuts her off.
"A trial?" He frowns." That's not a proved procedure. That's like a theory."
"I've had 4 patients survive. They are tumour free right now." She says.
"Out of...?" He asks, with a hard voice.
"15." She whispers. She knows how it looks for those who don't understand. "But now, the succeed rate of the operation is at 50%. Right now, your daughter survival rate is at 0. "
"That also means that she has a 50% chaces of dying on the table, Dr Weller. We still have another 2 months..." Gary shakes his head. "She's my little girl..." He whispers, hiding his head betweeen his hands.
"That's true. I'll let you a few minutes to think about it. I know it is hard but this is the only chance you've got." Nancy sighs, sending a sad look to the parents, who are now holding each other. She knows the impact something like this could do to a family. Thinking there is nothing you can do and then... Situations like these need to be thought of for a while before doing anything.
Both doctors leave the waiting room in silence untill they reach the patient's room.
"What would you do?" He asks. Dr Weller turns her attention to him. She shrugs.
"I don't have kids. I have never been in this position before but if I had to choose I would want to do everything in my power." She said, sitting on the chair next to Amy.
"You said on your book you never succeed if you don't fight hard for what you want." He remembered with a smile.
"You've read it?" She asks excitedly.
Derek nods softly."Loved it. Inspired me to pick neuro." He confeses, leaning on the wall.
"Really?" She smiles. "That's really great. Makes me feel proud, Dr Shepherd." She admits.
"Thank you." He says softly, then sighs." I really hope they accept." He whispers before leaving the room.
"Hey." He says when she picks up.
"Hey. " he hears on the other side of the line.
They stay a few seconds in silence.
"I am sorry."both say at the same time.
"Oh." Meredith laughs nervously.
"Yeah I..." He trailes off." You go first." He breathes.
"I... Okay." She whispers. He can tell she is smilling nervously." I was selfish. I know. It's just... Frustrating, you know." She admits.
"I do know. I've missed you so much this week it's just... I am an intern and I can't say no. But... In less than one year you'll be here with me. " he says, Meredith smiles at the thought of them working together.
"And I can't wait." She nods." I just want to spend the more time posible with you before I leave. With the both of us leaving..." She shakes her head.
"I know. Me too. " he says sadly. For a few seconds he regrets his excitedment with the surgery with Dr Weller. " But you are not going to believe what I am scrubbing in... Or well, might be scrubbing in..."
He can feel her sharing his excitedment. She likes seeing him happy. "What?" She asks, sightly curious.
"Have you studied The Weller Method yet?" He asks.
"Is that a question? Of course! I love that woman, she is great. "She says." Her trial of curing unoperable tumours is brilliant. I've read everything about it." She stops herself before she starts rambling. "So... Don't tell me you are scrubbing in with her? Are you gonna watch her perform The Weller Method?!"
Derek laughs at her excitement. Sometimes he forgets she is a med student. For Meredith this is better than gold.
"Yeah, at least... I hope so. We are still waiting for their parent's confirmation but..." He explains.
"Derek that's fantastic!" She exclaims." Don't worry about the dinner or anything. We'll celebrate this when you are free again."
"I know, thank you, Mer." He smiles. All he needed was her support. He feels like he can do anything if she believed in him. It's a weird new feeling, but he likes it."And we'll celebrate it. "
At least, he hopes they will.
"Good. Great." He can see her smile throught the phone. "Um... Good luck. I... Call me later, okay?" She says softly.
"Okay." He whispers.
"Bye, Derek."
"Bye, Mer."
They hang up. Derek already misses her voice.
When he puts his phone back to his scrubs pocket, he hears his pager vibrating. His heart pounds on his chest. It's time. He runs to the waiting room where Dr Weller and the parents are waiting for him.
"Nice of you to finally join us, ." Nancy smiles, raising an eyebrow.
Nancy pausesfor a few seconds, looking at the parents, then she nods. "They have decided to give us their consent to do the surgery. You know what to do. Book an OR and prep the patient." She orders.
Derek decides to hide his excitement till he is out of the room.
"Man. I heard." Mark's voice appears behind him.
"Jealous much?" He smirks, Mark joins him as they walk towards the OR board. The floor is busy tonight. In the hospital you can't actually tell if it's dark outside or not. The same white lights brighten up the corridors everyday. He is used to lose track of time at the hospital. As an intern, you don't really care about leaving these walls.
"Damn right I am." He sighs. Both interns share a small laugh, after that, Mark turns left and Derek keeps walking straight.
It's almost one am aready and he is not tired at all. He books an OR and goes to the patient's room. Amy is still asleep thanks to the drugs, which gives him some time to send Amelia a quick text telling her what he is about to do. He doesn't expect her to reply right away, since that knowing his sister Amy must be too busy at some party to check her phone.
"Let's get you ready."
With the nurse Hannah he takes Amy straight to the OR. He scrubs in, walking into into the operating room sconds later. They are in Nancy Weller's OR. A sanctuary. She has requested a small gallery, just the most privilegied interns are sitting there to learn.
And he is right there. Actually standing next to the surgeon.
"Okay, everything ready?" Nancy asks.
"Yes, Dr Weller. Everything is ready." A nurse replies.
"Good. Let's get started." She says." Scalpel."
"Maybe if we had..." He tried to say.
"There was nothing we could have done, Dr Shepherd." Dr Weller said. He could still hear the machines beeping in his head. Screaming that life was leaving Amy Carlson's body.
The tiny girl laid in front of them. She was another one. Derek wondered, why did he do this? To save lives? Well, he was making a good damn job in that. He had been telling himself since monday that you can't save everyone. It was sunday. 8 people in 7 days. Too much blood.
Nancy left her OR. Like a champion who loses a battle. She didn't walk like she owned everything. Like she was a goddess. She walked like she was out of self-steem. Amy had died. She froze. Actually froze. Nancy hadn't known what to do.
Mistakes happen. People are not perfect. But you can't use that as an excuse when that made you kill someone. It was going smoothly till she coded. Coding could happen. Codding could be controlled.
He had seen a hero fall down tonight. They had killed a person. He was not going to recover from something like that in a long time. But he was not going to forget it. Every doctor has this patient that teach him or her a huge lesson. Amy may be his.
Derek follows his boss towards the waiting room. Nancy doesn't have to open her lips. Her eyes say it all. Gary starts screaming and kicking things. His wife just cries, still sitting on the chair. He kept saying they had killed her. He felt like a killer.
He just wants to go home. To hold Meredith. He wants this feeling to go away.
Then, like a coward, like someone who ahs been beaten up; he runs. He hides on the nearest on call room and sits down on the bed.
He needs some time to breathe, but he is tired, it's been a long night, and maybe the mix between all the emotions make him even more tired. Slowly he lays down and closes his eyes, falling soundly asleep.
Meredith can't stop pacing. It's 4 am and still doesn't know anything. She had been so excited about him but then her mom called telling her about some shooting at the hospital. The hospital where Derek works. Then she had turned her tv on and saw it on the news. She couldn't believe it. She had talked to him a few hours ago and everything was okay. Now it was mess.
She didn't want to make any assumptions because if she did she was gonna break down and that was not okay at all. She didn't know anything yet. She had talked to Amelia, who was informing the whole family throught her. So now, she didn't only needed information for herself, now, she needed information for his whole family. And also, she needed to ask for a guy named Mark. Who the hell was that?
Meredith groaned. "Pick up. Damn it."
Hey, you've reached Derek Shepherd. I didn't pick up, I am busy now but maybe... Try to call later?
His voice said. She was starting to hate that fucking reply.
That was it. That had been the straw that broke the camel's back. Meredith picked her keys and her coat and stormed out of her house.
Like always, it was rainning. And well, she liked rain. She liked Seattle. But she didn't need it right now.
She hated driving. She usually tried to avoid it, but she didn't have another option tonight if she wanted to get to the hospital fast enough.
"Stupid car." Meredith groaned as she tried to put it to work. It had been a long time since she had last used it so it was a little bit... Well, whatever you say when a car is being stupid and the universe hates her. She turns the key one more time and finally, she hears it. The motor is alive.
"Yes!" She exclaim."See that stupid car! I won!" She yells.
Then she realises that she is talking to a car and stops. She looks around and gives thanks that she is alone. She blames it on the time. Its 4 am...
When Meredith finally arrives to the hospital she sees a big crowd there. Doctors and patients families yelling and screaming at the police. Meredith knows that that's not gonna tell her if Derek is alive or not so she makes her way throught people till she reachs te hospital's front door. She needs to get in there. She knows it's stupid and insane and that Derek will kill her but she can't sit down and do nothing.
Her phone vibrates on her pocket.
Know something? - Amelia asks. Meredith sighs.
I am at the hospital. Im gonna ask. I'll text you when I know.- she replies with a sight. Meredith bites her lower lip. The police is everywhere. She needs to find a way to sneak in...
She knows the hospital like the palm of her hand. She basically grew up there since her mom is declared workaholic. She also knows there is a small emergency exit by the tunels only one officer seems to be watching.
Then, an idea crosses her mind. There is no way it's going to work. If it was a movie maybe it would. But we are talking about real life. People is not that stupid.
But she hopes this officer is.
"Excuse me!" She yells. The officer looks at her. He is not bad. Fourties, maybe. And men in their forties love girls in their twenties.
His brown eyes keep looking at her as he makes his way towards her. "Do you need help?" He asks, now that he is in front of her, he takes a moment to look at her from her head to her feet. Meredith smiles in a seductive way.
"Actually I do. My- .. sister." She clears her throat. "Works there. I was wondering if you could ask for her?" She gives him her best smile.
"I am sorry Miss... ?"
"Um, Dempsey." She quickly makes up a fake name. "But call me Martha." She bites her lip.
Martha Dempsey? Seriously? What kind of name is that?
"Okay, Martha" the officer pauses for a few seconds."I am sorry, but I can't...-
She cuts him off before he can finish."look. I know you are a very busy man. I m just so worried." She makes her eyes tear up a little. " please? I'll bring you a coffee. I can give you some company later. You know, make up for that huge favour..." She whispers softly.
Now, she feels desesperated. But well, she knows men. If that's not enought to control him... Well, she needs to think of a better plan.
The officer sighs again."Okay." He finally says, Meredith breathes relieved." I'll go ask. Don't move!"
Yeah right. Like she is going to stay there.
"Thank you very much! My sister's name is... Um, Clara, Clara Dempsey." She says nervously. She needs to calm down or she'll expose herself.
"Okay. I repeat, Martha. Don't move." Martha. That sounds really weird.
She nods, smiling at him like if she is actually going to get something out of this. Once he dissappears Meredith crosses the policial line and sneaks up into the hospital throught the tunels door.
Once she is in, she finally breathes again. Now she just has to find Derek...
There are moments in the OR when Derek knows what's about to happen. When he woke up from a short nap, his whole body felt tired. Like he had been sleeping in the wrong position. But he had been laying down. He had felt comfortable enough to fall asleep. He groans, his heart starts racing. An hospital never stops moving. But now... Everything felt quiet.
And it was confirmed when he walked out of the room. The intern frowned. It was like a ghost town. He decided to look for Mark, but he couldn't find him anywhere.
"I've been looking for you." A voice said behind him.
Derek turns quickly. "Mr Carlson." Derek breathes. His blue eyes catch the gun that's pointing at him.
He doesn't think he has ever been this terrified in his life.
"You killed her. You killed my baby." He say
s. His voice is hard and full of pain. His eyes are red. He has gone mad. "You made me do this. This is your fault." He is shaking.
"Derek!" Someone else gasps behind them. He knows that voice.
Meredith.
Everything freezes. She can't be here. What is she doing here? She is not supposed to be in danger.
Now, he has never been this scared in his life. "Meredith." He whispers.
Gary is pointing at the two of them. "You care about her." He smirks.
"No..." He can feel what Gary is thinking. He can't let that happen. If something happens to Meredith...
"I want you to feel what I am feeling!" He yells. Meredith jumps a little, watching the scene. She is terrified. What kind of joke is that?
Then the gun is pointing at her. She knows that the man is about to shoot her. She is going to die. Her eyes meet Dereks. He is paralyzed. So is she. Is that how they end? They didn't even start...
This isn't fair...
She closes her eyes, waiting for the bullet to hit her head when she hears a shoot gun.
But it doesn't.
Time keeps running and she is still alive.
But someone falls down on the floor.
Still, she doesn't open her eyes.
"Meredith." He whispers. His arms are around her and all she can do is hug him.
"I was so worried. You wouldn't pick up... We thought you were dead." She cried on his chest.
Gary is laying on the floor. Bleeding. His eyes are opened. They look at his body. Still.
She doesn't know what man or why he wanted to kill them but... He is dead.
Then she starts laughing. Derek looks at her with a confused expression." I am sorry I am just... In shook. And nervous. I thought I was gonna die and..." She starts rambling so Derek cuts her by kissing her softly.
Then she opens her eyes and realises that they are outside. They are safe.
"What the hell happened?" She finally asks.
"Do you remember the operation I told you about?" He sighs.
Meredith nods.
"We lost her..." He explain. Meredith squeezes his hand soflty.
"I am sorry." She says, hugging him again.
He kisses her cheek, holding her in his arms. That's all he wants after today.
"Meredith?" But reality hits them.
Meredith opens her eyes to fins the last person she wants to see right now.
Ellis Grey is standing in front of them with her arms crossed over er chest.
Yep, they are screwed.
Replying reviews!
Patsy: first of all thank you for your sweet reviews and always reviewing! I read about your cat, I am glad you got it back, I wanted to reply you on ch2 but since it's not working I'll do it here. It's not gonna be an addek story since I am a Merder shipper, in fact Addison doesn't appear on the story at all she is just mentioned a couple times and it has a happy ending! And it's okay, I have 3 cats and lots one once for an entire week, I was a mess! I am glad you like my story! And I am not breaking them up! (Yet?) who knows... Muahaha. Anyway I love Merder way too much to make them suffer.
Hasi2012: I hope you liked the chapter and the drama. More interesting things are about to come! Thank you for taking the time to review.
Judy: woah, great in caps, that feels great! Thank you so much for your review and I am so happy you are enjoying this story.
Jackie: hope you had fun! Thank you so much it makes me so happy to know that you are enjoying this! :D
MerDer2015: Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! More things are about to come stay tunned! :) thank you so much for your reviews!
Susan: thank you for your sweet review, I will keep writing, all the reviews motivate me so much! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!