The response hasn't been the best for this story, I generally get around ten reviews for every chap these days, so it was pretty humbling to get only two, but I don't blame y'all for that. I know I can make this story much better, and then you're going to have to review. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

But seriously, please review. No really, I mean . Please.

I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T

So I've decided to keep a diary. I don't know why, but thanks to all these years being with Hermione and other people, maybe my emotional range is now officially a teaspoon. I was thinking more like a ladle, because blokes don't keep a diary, they just don't. I feel like I have to, because if I don't, I'm going to go insane.

Oh yeah, the date, I fucking forgot. See, it's highly unnatural for a eleven year old to start dropping the f-bomb in public (Mum would go spare if she found out and send me a howler or something), but in this diary I can swear all I want, and no one can tell me any different. It's also protected, charmed, and everything, I even went to the library and learned how to do an Unreadable Charm all by myself, because this diary is going to be special, it's not only going to help me write down everything I've done, it's going to help me plan out my moves. And I'm going to have some moves.

I suppose I'll start with her, or at the beginning.

I was clearly not ready to see her again, I don't know how I was supposed to react, but only someone like me could forget something like that, I never was ready, and there she was, she entered the compartment, asking for Neville Longbottom's lost toad. I wasn't breathless, this was after all, a eleven year old version of Hermione Granger, she was far away from doing the great things she went on to do during the time I knew her, she had the bushy hair and the two rather large front teeth, she also had this sort of pompous air about her, it was something that didn't endear me to her at the start.

If you were to look into my Year One checklist, which is nicely written, and even underlined just one page before this, you'd see that one of my first objectives was to make sure to never make Hermione cry, ever.

What I hadn't expected was to almost break down and rush over and hug her, that was something I didn't really mean to do. Everything had gone just according to plan, I had pulled it all off. Harry had met Mum, asked to get on the platform just alright, and then I had introduced myself to him, I'd made it a point to not appear as awestruck as I had last time of course, that was only fair.

Why the hell did I have to hug her though?

Hermione had a really puzzled expression on her face, Harry merely looked bemused, I was glad that no one else was there to see me make a complete arse of myself.

I realized my mistake, and I knew I had a horrified expression on my face and my ears were turning red, the Ron Weasley people got to know very well. 'The more things change, the more they stay the same' I thought to myself, I knew I had to remain optimistic if I was supposed to not go crazy, but this was insane, this was torture.

'Think fast' I said to myself, before speaking out loud, trying to sound as apologetic as I could. "Sorry, I am so sorry, you just reminded me of my dead cousin, I took one look at you and I thought you were her embodiment" I wanted to slap myself, I was better than this when it came to thinking on my feet, what the hell was I doing?

Harry sniggered, the little bugger, he hadn't bought it either, and he wasn't as smart as Hermione. Speaking of her, she had a look of puzzlement on her face, it was very brief. It was something Hermione would never tell anyone, we are all afraid of things that we don't understand, but Hermione's fears of the unknown are parallel to none. The puzzlement was replaced with the same haughty expression she wore when she entered the compartment.

"It's a shame about your cousin" she said, not believing me at all. I didn't blame her. "So I can assume you haven't seen the toad?" she asked us cautiously, I wondered if she thought I was going to jump her and give her a hug again or something barmy of that sort.

"I can't say we have" Harry piped in, I was glad, because after the massive fuck up, I wasn't exactly ready to speak.

"I'm Hermione Granger" she said, ever so haughtily. She wasn't even looking at me, I was already something not worth her time. I wanted to bow my head down in shame. Here I am, a seventeen year old bloke, trapped in the body of a eleven year old, it's my body, but it's still fucking eleven years old, and I don't know how to deal with another girl who's only eleven years old.

This was supposed to go much, much better than this. I was supposed to be working on a spell when she came in, she was supposed to be impressed when I turned Scabbers yellow, I had timed it pretty appropriately, I had praised myself for being able to remember the minute details, and I went ahead and cocked it all up. Wonderful.

"I'm Harry Potter" Harry said, while I continued chastising myself for being a complete idiot. This was followed by Hermione telling Harry that he was in several books, Harry hadn't know what to make of this either, which was quite funny. It was around five minutes before she was done with dispensing her knowledge.

"You never gave me your name" she said, raising an eyebrow at me. It took me around ten seconds before I realized she was talking to me, but my behavior had already come off as strange to her, how much worse could it get?

"Ron Weasley" I said to her, I decided to smile, but she didn't seem impressed by that.

"You have dirt on your nose" she said before sliding the compartment door shut and walking away.

I absently cleaned the offending speck of dirt as I realized that I couldn't deal with any version of Hermione, even if I had the knowledge of a several dozen centuries.

-x-

"I don't want to be rude or anything" Harry began with a slight hesitation in his voice.

"No" I said pointedly, "No dead cousin, I don't know what came over me" I told him. It was after all partially true, he wouldn't understand, which was proven when he started laughing. Why would he understand what I was going through? He was eleven years old, he was going to face a lot of dangers, but he wasn't going to go insane. I felt like I was.

The look on my face told him to stop, it was one of the fine things about Harry. He was noble, he cared about what he did to other people, he felt like his actions mattered and affected things around him, and acted accordingly. He could be thick, but he tried to go out of his way to not hurt people. A real hero that guy was.

"I'm sorry for laughing" he said, he was probably worried that I was going to be angry at him. I decided not to be angry at him and just smiled at him instead.

"Don't worry about it" I told him, chuckling. "Sometimes I go insane and do really stupid stuff, how do you reckon the story was?" I asked him. He looked relieved that I wasn't offended by his laughter and began smiling again. We were smiling now, but as the years moved on, those smiles would grow fewer in number, and when I would wear that locket, in the tent, there wasn't going to be any smiles left. I wondered how we'd get on then.

"It was horrible, but it was amazing how you came up with that in such a short time" he told me honestly, I smiled at the compliment. So what if I couldn't do good improvisation, at least it was hilarious to other people.

"Do you think we should look for that toad?" Harry asked me, I shook my head, telling him that she was probably going to find it somewhere and that we shouldn't bother. If the meeting had gone well, I probably would have gone to help her and become her best friend already, but thanks to this massive failure on my part, I didn't really want to see her anytime soon.

"She seemed kind of-" Harry trailed off.

"You can say it" I said to him. "She seemed like a stuck-up bint" I told him. Harry looked scandalized at the usage of that word, but then began chuckling and so did I.

"She's probably not" I told him. "She's a muggleborn right?" Hermione had told Harry that she was when she was educating him about how he was famous. "She's scared, of this world, it's completely new to her, and she thinks that being haughty is an appropriate self defense mechanism" I began sagely explaining, Harry stared at me, transfixed. This was not something that happened in the previous timeline, I was sure of it. I was supposed to be the one who was transfixed, not him.

"So anyway, she'll probably loosen up, when I see her next I should probably apologize for hugging her like that eh?" I asked Harry, who chuckled again before telling me that it was probably the best thing to do in this situation.

As we continued eating sweets that Harry had so kindly bought for me, I explained things about the world to him, but I was still in thought. There were somethings that I knew about that were going to be really important in the future, but I had no idea how to go about them. The one thing that seemed directly in my power was Scabbers. I had done well to not let him know about anything I was doing, I didn't think he'd care if I was making some weird plans. I never talked out loud and the only one in on this secret was me. Who was going to believe me even if I told them I was living out a life over and over again?

I had to play this really carefully, I knew how the stupid relatives of Harry were going to treat him and I needed to be careful, if I was able to prove Sirus' innocence, it would help with Harry and we'd have a faithful member of the Order back, helping protect Harry. He'd probably not have to deal with the dementors, and after all he's done for me, it's only fair that I try to give him at least a small glimpse of a loving family, Sirius was just that.

Even as I was lost in my thoughts, I came across someone who had to be dealt with, and yet I'd completely forgotten about. The door slid open and in stepped Draco Malfoy, along with his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.

I looked at him and I was filled with loathing. Here was the person responsible for the death of Albus Dumbledore, I knew that it was Snape that did the killing, but Draco played his part. He was also a complete git and I couldn't find a nice thing to say about him even if I tried. I was filled with regret, as I wasn't sold on Draco Malfoy being a death eater when Harry had told me about his theory. It seemed like a crackpot theory at the time, and I wish I'd known. He had almost killed Katie Bell. He had almost killed me.

I wondered if I would wake up in bed had Harry not found the bezoar in Slughorn's cupboard, and found that I really did not want to know the answer.

Draco Malfoy introduced himself, and the way he did it was hilarious even now, so I laughed. The last time I remember trying to hold it in, to be polite. Fuck that, I began laughing out loud on purpose. I believe they'd call what I was doing hamming, and I was completely okay with it, because Malfoy looked bewildered and outraged, and it was a look worth seeing on that ponce's face.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked me with a sneer. "I know who you are" he continued. "My father always told me that the Weasleys had red hair, and more children than they could afford"

This had angered me, I remember that. Harry looked outraged already, but this time I didn't let it affect me, and I realized I had another, smooth retort that I thought up right then and there.

"I was laughing because you introduced yourself, there is no need to do that" I told him. "My father always told me that the Malfoys had black hair and looked like someone had shoved a giant rod up their arsehole" I told him.

Was it really appropriate to crack jokes about sticking rods up peoples arses, of course not, but I never said that I was a mature person who behaved appropriately now, did I?

"I do not look like I have a rod shoved up my arsehole" Malfoy told me, his face was red, probably from rage.

"Which proves that you know what people who shove things up their arsehole look like" I told him. "Are you seriously into that stuff?" I asked him casually.

Harry was now openly laughing, while Crabbe and Goyle, stupid as ever didn't even seem to comprehend what was going on.

Malfoy wanted to say something, but then it seemed like he gave up. Ron wanted to replay the moment where Malfoy decided that this was too puzzling for him in his head over and over again.

"You need to chose your friends carefully Potter, don't throw in with his lot" he said, looking at me with as much disdain as he could muster.

"Don't throw in with his lot too Harry" I fired back. "He might probably shove something up yours too" I told him. Harry and I looked at each other before breaking down in laughter as Malfoy exited the cabin.

This was going to be a fun ride.

-x-

As I looked at the giant, imposing looking castle, I realized how much I missed this place. I suppose I shouldn't, it was a conscious decision not to go back, although had Harry and Hermione gone back, they'd be death, they were both being persecuted after all, I could have lived. As I thought about that, I was stuck with a pang of guilt. They were being persecuted, they were just as much in danger as I was, and I was a prick, I just left them in that tent. I wondered if they'd be lost without me, but I was scared that they wouldn't. Deep down it scared me that me being gone would mean that Harry and Hermione would start working like a functional unit, or as my dad often used to say, a 'well oiled machine', whatever that meant.

I wondered if I was in another dimension, and somewhere in my original dimension, Harry and Hermione were coming around to realizing just how useless I was, just how much better they could do without me. It was scary to think that way, but I wondered how far off from the truth I was. The worse the thing a person thinks about, the more likely it is to come true after all.

'Stop that Ron' I said to myself as the boats went across the giant lake. It wasn't a full moon, but the light was bright enough to cast a nice little shine on the waters of the lake. I thought I saw the giant squid somewhere in the distance. It looked imposing but it really was tame. I remember Hermione feeding it toast once.

"Do you have any idea how they'll decide our houses?" Harry asked me, there was that doubt in his voice again. I smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry" I told him. "Fred told me that you have to fight a troll, but I wouldn't believe him. It's going to be something that is very simple, maybe like putting on a hat or something"

Harry looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face, but decided to shrug it off. After everything he had heard in the last month, this couldn't be the strangest thing of them all. Everyone gasped as we came closer, and closer to the castle. My stomach growled, and I felt guilty for even thinking about food, Hermione and Neville were also on our boat, and they had both heard my stomach growling, as had Harry.

Harry grinned and Neville looked puzzled, Hermione just downright scowled at me before looking back at the castle. I was the king of letting the quaffle in, not letting the quaffle in, saving nothing and every ring, but I was the fucking emperor of poor first impressions.

"What is her problem with you?" Harry whispered to me. I wished I could answer him, but there was no way I could. I didn't know what her problem was, but apparently I needed to save her from a troll to be friends with her, Hermione always did demand a lot from everyone.

I shrugged my shoulders, before putting a finger to my lips and telling him to be quiet lest she hear what we are saying, although she probably had already heard everything.

We finally made land to find Minerva McGonagall waiting for us. She looked as tough as she always had, but I knew that underneath that tough exterior there was just a complete sweetheart. The only problem was if anyone actually saw that sweetheart, they'd probably end up dead.

"First years, this way please" she said to all of us. There were nervous looks on everyone's faces, but I just looked at Harry and smiled again. I knew what was going to happen, and if things played out like they had in my original life, we were all going to be just fine.

-x-

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat then me.

You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve and chivalry,
Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,
And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin,
Where you'll meet your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means,
To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For a Thinking Cap."

'What an impressive poem' I thought to myself, wondering if the hat was right, and it could indeed read minds. The last time it hadn't really done much except tell me that I was yet another Weasley and that it knew just where to put me, so was this time going to be any different. Truth be told, I was really looking forward to it. I looked around and people seemed relieved that all they had to do was put on a cap. Apparently the rumor had already spread that we were going to have to fight trolls, which was completely ridiculous.

I saw McGonagall walk up towards the hat, which was placed on a nice little pedestal, she looked all formal. I wondered if Hermione would also end up all prim and proper like McGonagall when she grew old. The world we were headed towards, growing old seemed like a luxury not many our age were going to be able to afford.

McGonagall had in her hand, a list, with our names, and she began calling them out. Last name first, I watched as Hannah Abbott squeaked her way to the front and put on a hat.

I remember feeling extremely nervous the last time, being exposed like that. It was incredible that there was none of that now, all I could think of was planning my next move, and wondering about how to be friends with Hermione. I was really looking forward to not have to deal with the goddamn troll again, even if I did know how to deal with it this time around.

I watched as one by one, people began getting sorted. I was one of the last to be called. Hermione went straight to Gryffindoor, Malfoy went to Slytherin as did his too dumb to live cronies. People were whispering about in hushed tones when Harry's name came up, and the hat took time to decide where it wanted to put Harry, before finally putting him in Gryffindor. And then came my turn, but unlike last time, where I stumbled nervously on to the front, I was confident. I knew what was going to happen.

'What is this?' the hat asked me. 'Your mind, it's not that of a first year, oh no, you've done all this before haven't you?' the hat asked me.

'Yes' I said mentally, no one could actually hear what people said to the hat, I guess it was it's own way of having a nice, private conversation with the student it was going to sort. 'I have done this before'

'Your intentions are noble' the hat told me. 'Perhaps too noble, like you Gryffindoors often tend to be. Noble to a fault'

'I'd rather be noble to a fault than be a fucking snake' I thought bitterly.

'And yet you deserted your friends, in the time they needed you the most. Something that was most un-Gryffindoor like of you' the hat told me, it felt like it was laughing.

I didn't have a witty retort this time, but I did tell it something. 'That's what I'm here to fix'

In the distant background I could see my twin brothers Fred and George whispering around, I was sure they were wondering why it was taking so long to sort me into a house and if I was even going to be in Gryffindoor. It had never taken anyone in my family as long as it was taking me this time.

'Setting right what was once done wrong eh?' the hat asked me. 'Indeed, a very noble intention, and maybe you're meant to succeed, for time itself seems to want you to' the hat told me. I'd never really talked to the thing apart from at the time of sorting, and even then it was a one sided conversation that was around one sentence long.

'You are wiser than you were the last time boy' the hat told me. 'You have a long way to go still, and always remember this. There are times where we show courage, but there are also times where we don't show courage, and that is never something to be ashamed of, because fear makes us human'

'Then why do I feel like a complete piece of shit?' I asked the hat.

'Because you are human, and as long as you are human, you can be saved. Let me rephrase that, as long as you're human, you can save yourself' the hat told me. 'I sensed greatness about you the last time too, and I can tell just by looking at the memory of your last sorting, and the fact that everyone in your family that has been sorted out has the potential to go on and do great things' the hat told me. 'I never tell them, because I never feel the need to, but I think you need to know that you will be well suited in' I took a deep breath in. "GRYFFINDOOR" it shouted, and the hall burst into applause.

I wondered what the hat meant as I made my way back to the table, nodding my head and getting affectionately slapped in the back by Fred and George, who remarked that it really took 'too bloody long'

-x-

I am not an early riser, but this time I made it a point to rise early. I had things to do after all.

It was laying in a tent, staring at Harry and Hermione come up with grand schemes that I realized how useless I really was. Sure, I wasn't a failure, maybe even above average, but I was useless. Harry was a great duelist, as was Hermione, they both pulled their weight, while I just lay there, splinched, scared, and pissed off. I didn't want to be that guy anymore, I wanted to be good, but being good meant that I was going to need a lot of practice. I had all the hand me downs from by brothers, and I decided that my wand was going to have to get broken.

I knew we were short on money, but if I had to be of any use to this world, I needed a wand that had actually picked me, when I bought the new wand in my third year, I had instantly noticed a change in my spells, they seemed much more fluid and easy to perform (even with all that added skill, when put next to Hermione, I was pants)

The Hogwarts library opens at seven in the morning, I was all dressed up and decked out by six. I had left a note on the table telling Harry that I needed to owl my mum (which I had decided to do, only at another time) and that I'd meet him at the breakfast table at around half past eight. I then made my way to the library, which I knew was going to be deserted at this time of the day.

Madam Pince looked like she had seen a unicorn have sex with a manticore when I walked in, it was almost like no one ever came to the library at this time. I gave her a hasty smile, my short stature probably told her that I was a first year.

I knew what I needed to do, and I knew how I was going to do it. First Year was ridiculously easy, and even people who tried to flunk couldn't flunk. Since I was already well aware and already remembered a lot of those concepts beforehand, I knew homework would be a breeze. I was prepared to use the Room Of Requirement to the best of my abilities. My aim was to be good at two things, Potion making and Transfigurations, while also practicing all the spells I had learned, and hopefully learning some new ones.

I hadn't yet tried it out, but I could feel that I already knew how to do the spells I had learned in the life before, it was inexplicable, or maybe it wasn't. But I was glad that I kept those skills, because if I wanted to do things right, I was going to need all the help I could get.

I found a book on Potions and began reading it. It was really pretty basic, but it seemed to have logical explanations to a lot of things. I still remember when Hermione first told me about these things, it was the fifth year, and a day before the owl, she sat me down and cleared some of my doubts, telling me how some ingredients react in a particular way with each other. I wasn't that good a cook, but I could figure those things out.

I felt another pang of guilt coming on, I had no idea how to deal with Hermione. I continued working on it diligently, thinking about the potions only for half the time, the rest was devoted to wallowing away in guilt, having left my two best friends for dead.

"I've seen Weasleys with dungbombs, and caught Weasleys in a compromising position before, but never have I seen even a single one in the library at this hour of the day"

I whipped my head to see Albus Dumbledore smiling at me.

-x-

I didn't know where to end it.

Tell me how you feel.

Sorry about the arsehole comment, but it felt like something Ron would say.