When their clothes were clean and dry, they walked out to Sebastian's motorcycle hand in hand, ignoring the comments and cheers from their colleagues.
Jim was grinning from ear to ear. It was so different from last time. Getting together with Sherlock had been the culmination of nearly two years of pining and despairing. Jim had been ecstatic but looking back on it, he had to admit that Sherlock had been far from enthusiastic. When they were alone he had played the part of devoted lover, but 'boyfriend' clearly wasn't in his repertoire. Not if it was supposed to be like this.
Sebastian had to bully him into putting on the spare helmet and then they were off, swerving through traffic, Jim clinging to Sebastian with a delicious mix of thrill and terror.
His knees were a little wobbly when they finally pulled up in front of his building, but walking with Sebastian's arm around his shoulders more than made up for that.
He got them two beers from the fridge and they spent a very enjoyable hour on the sofa, before their grumbling stomachs prompted them to call for pizzas.
"Do you want to watch something?" Sebastian asked.
"We could," Jim said, smiling. "But I'm afraid I've moved the telly to the bedroom. Helps when I can't sleep."
"Sounds comfy." Sebastian grinned.
"It is," Jim agreed. "Though if we eat while watching, please don't get cheese on the sheets..."
"Oh... You don't like getting your sheets dirty?" Sebastian winked. "I'm sure we can work around that..."
"I didn't say that." Jim felt his cheeks warm. "Cheese just makes these very annoying stains."
Sebastian nodded, his eyes twinkling. "I'll be careful. But I must say, I hadn't pegged you as the type that would lure me into the bedroom even before dinner."
"Shut up!" Jim punched Sebastian's shoulder. "You were the one who wanted to watch something..."
Sebastian chuckled and ruffled his hair. "Sorry. It's just so much fun teasing you."
Jim huffed, but couldn't help smiling a little.
"Let's go put something on before the pizzas arrive, then," Sebastian suggested, getting up and holding out his hand to Jim.
Jim took it and led him to the bedroom, but Sebastian stopped in the door opening, looking at the bed. "Black sheets?" he said. "Jim... You're a dream come true."
"Shut up!"
...
"Asparagus on pizza? Seriously?"
"What? It's delicious!"
"I very seriously doubt that!" Jim wrinkled his nose and then picked up a piece of pepperoni that had been hiding in the corner of his box and tossed it into his mouth, giggling.
"Wanna taste?" Sebastian offered him a slice.
"Ewh… No!" Jim held two fingers up as a cross between them. "Get your abominable pizza away from me!"
Sebastian snorted. "What's wrong with asparagus? I mean, I'd expect you to like them. Look at the shape…"
"Looks aren't everything," Jim said, still grinning.
"Well, I like them." Sebastian shrugged. "It's a wonder you aren't meatier with all you have on your pizza, though."
Jim glanced down at the heap of bacon, pepperoni, ham and sausages. "Yeah… I guess I can never make up my mind, so I just end up getting everything…"
Sebastian smirked at him. "Do you, now…"
Jim huffed. "Can't we even get through a meal without you wanting to get back in my pants?"
"Remember that thing I said about teasing you? It still stands."
"Oh… So you're not expecting more sex today. Okay…" Jim shrugged and took a rather large bite of his pizza, making sure to get a little bit of all the toppings.
Sebastian looked at his mouth and licked his lips. "Like you'll be able to keep your hands off me for long."
"Don't even think of challenging me on that," Jim warned. "Or you'll ruin something interesting before we've really begun."
Sebastian grinned. "I don't know… You don't always need your hands for interesting stuff. I'm sure you're clever enough to find a way around it." He sucked a bit of asparagus between his lips before chewing it.
"Oh no…" Jim couldn't help but watch Sebastian's mouth. "You're not tying me up again. That stuff is just for filming. You know it's not really my thing."
"And yet you're the one who always brings it up," Sebastian pointed out. "I wasn't talking about tying. Just about… not using your hands."
"Is this your subtle way of asking for a blowjob?"
"Oh, I'm not asking for anything," Sebastian said. "Either I give orders or I take what you want to give me. But asking makes it feel like I have to talk you into it and… nah. That rather takes away the magic, doesn't it?"
"What?" Jim frowned and shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense…"
"It does to me." Sebastian took another bite of Pizza From Hell.
"Well, you think asparagus on pizza makes sense," Jim pointed out. "So I really don't trust your judgement."
Sebastian laughed and finished the last piece, then wiped his hands on the napkin. His attention was on the shooting scene on the telly for a moment, before he explained: "When I'm giving orders, you have a safeword to stop me at all times. And when you're taking the initiative, it makes sense that you only do what you want to do. But if I have to ask… You might feel guilty if you don't give in. Or you might feel that once you've said yes, there's no way back. So… I don't like actually asking for stuff." He shrugged.
Sherlock always asked. Both when they were planning a film and when they were… when he was pretending that they were together. Jim had thought it was sweet. That it showed that Sherlock really cared about him and wanted to make sure that Jim was okay with everything. But if Sebastian was right, Sherlock might have been manipulating him the whole time.
Like when they had been filming Mind the Gap. It had hurt so bad, and Jim had wanted to stop, but Sherlock kept whispering if it was okay, every time the camera wasn't on his face. And every time he asked, Jim had nodded, thinking that he could handle just a bit more. And he had. And when he had seen the film, he had been shocked how that pain had translated into passion for the camera. He had believed that Sherlock must have seen it that way and really thought that Jim was fine. He had believed that it was his own fault.
"Jim…?" Sebastian said. "I… I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I mean… I hope I've made clear that what you want is important to me. We don't need to do anything that involves me giving you orders. That's what I want to avoid, doing stuff you're not into…"
"Why?" Jim asked, looking down at the last slices, realising that he didn't want them. "Why does it matter so much to you?"
Sebastian looked shocked. "We… We're together. Aren't we? What kind of a lover would I be if I didn't care about your needs?"
"The ordinary kind? Isn't that how most people do it? Go for what they want? What they need?" Jim closed the pizza box and leaned over to put it on the floor.
Sebastian's hand landed on his shoulder and gently pulled him back. "I don't know what kind of lovers you've had, Jim. But that's not ordinary. That's taking advantage of you."
Jim wanted to pull away. To get off the bed, leave the room and go hide. Instead he turned towards Sebastian and curled up against him, resting his head on that strong broad chest. "He did…" he muttered.
Sebastian wrapped his arms around him and dropped a kiss on Jim's head. "Then he was a bastard. I'm sorry."
He slowly leaned back, lowering them on the mattress, the film completely forgotten.
Jim closed his eyes and tried focusing on nothing but Sebastian's arms around him. It felt good being held like that. It felt safe. He thought about the things Sebastian had said. About telling him what to do rather than asking. About only making him do things Sebastian already knew Jim wanted to do.
It did make a kind of sense. But you'd have to know each other very well for that kind of game to work. It wasn't just for casual sex.
Surely Sebastian didn't know Jim that well. Yet. Though he did seem to have an almost uncanny sense for what would be really hot at any given moment. Jim supposed that was something he'd picked up working at the club.
Sebastian might not be as smart as Sherlock. His films might not be as unique and game changing. But he knew a hell of a lot more about reading his partner. About making someone feel good. About making Jim feel good.
Jim tried to imagine what it would feel like to hand over control the way Sebastian talked about. To let him take charge completely. "It requires so much trust..." he muttered.
Sebastian nodded, his nose still in Jim's hair. "It does. But I'll keep you safe. I promise."
His words broke something inside Jim. Something that had ached for so long that its sudden absence seemed to burn. But the fire passed through him, and was soon nothing but a warm glow, making him feel both excited and calm. Eager and safe. "I know," he said, pulling back so that he could look up at Sebastian. "I know you will."
Sebastian smiled and drew him in for a gentle kiss.
Jim melted into the kiss, whining a little with a strange desperate need he could not understand.
Sebastian pulled him further up until Jim was leaning on his chest, his face cupped in those large hands as Sebastian's tongue explored his mouth. From there they slowly stroked down his neck, then tangled in the soft cotton of Jim's t-shirt, tugging it up to get at the skin of his lower back.
Wanting more, Jim began squirming, trying to get his shirt off without interrupting the kiss. A futile endeavor which soon had him all but fixated by his own clothes.
Sebastian chuckled, pulling back. "First you say I can't tie you up and then you do it for me?"
"Shut up!" Jim snorted. "And help me."
Giggling, Sebastian pulled the black shirt over Jim's head. "Hmm..." he said thoughtfully as he held the rolled-up fabric up in his hands.
Jim glared down at him. "What? What's wrong with my shirt?"
"Oh, don't worry, I won't judge your fashion choices." Sebastian smirked. "I'm just thinking it could be useful..."
"Oh, okay." Jim went in for another kiss. "Just don't ruin it."
"I won't. Trust me." Sebastian gently pushed Jim back until he could sit up on his knees. He rolled up the shirt a little tighter and then put it in front of Jim's eyes, knotting it behind his head.
Jim almost pulled away. But he did trust Sebastian. And even though he wasn't too keen on this, he figured it couldn't hurt, so he smiled to show Sebastian it was fine and then waited, wondering what he'd do next.
Sebastian spent another moment making sure that the shirt didn't fall over Jim's nose, then kissed him again and stroked both hands down his arms. "You really look good in black."
"You mean I look good when you cover half my face?" Jim teased. It was strange, not being able to see his lover. But it felt oddly safe too. And arousing. He tried to find Sebastian's lips again.
Sebastian chuckled and Jim ended up kissing his fingers instead of his mouth. "Believe me, I already miss those eyes of yours. But it'll be worth it."
A kiss landed on Jim's chest, and Sebastian followed a slow path down, never going in a straight line but randomly placing his lips on his ribs or next to his belly-button and once back on his jaw, sometimes moving up rather than down, but finally arriving at the waist-band of Jim's jeans.
He opened them quickly and dove in, brushing his hot lips over the fabric of Jim's pants, following the outline of his cock.
The gasp that escaped Jim was equal parts surprise and pleasure. Not being able to see what was coming definitely enhanced the sensation.
But Sebastian only lingered there for a moment before Jim felt a shift on the mattress. "Stay where you are," he said. "I need a minute and I don't want you to fall off the bed trying to touch me."
Jim was curious, but sat obediently, waiting.
The sound of a zipper sounded, followed by the shift of fabric over skin. Not much later, Sebastian took Jim's hands. "I'm going to help you up. Hold on and follow me."
After almost falling over the edge of the bed, Jim silently began questioning the whole project, but he was determined to show Sebastian that he could handle it, so he just laughed and smiled.
Sebastian kissed his cheek, still holding him up strongly by his hands, and finally stopped him a few steps away from the bed. Without further ado, he shoved Jim's trousers and pants down to his ankles and then grabbed one of his hands again. "Step out of them," he ordered.
"Yes, Sir." Jim would have preferred not to giggle, but he couldn't help himself.
It earned him an almost gentle flick of a hand against his bum. Then Sebastian's knee clicked as he crouched and his naked thigh brushed Jim's calf. He lifted one foot and then the other to pluck off Jim's socks.
"There. Much better," he said, hand trailing up Jim's leg as he straightened again. "Now... Tell me where I can find what we need."
Jim really hoped the heat he was feeling wasn't a blush. And if it was, that Sebastian hadn't noticed. "Top drawer of the dresser by the door," he said before remembering that he had also put his new plug in there after cleaning it. Fuck!
Sebastian rummaged in the dresser, but Jim was spared from comments. He heard the drawer being shut again and the telly being turned off, but then it was completely silent. Until suddenly two large hands were spreading the cheeks of his arse.
"Woaw..." Jim was caught off guard and pulled away, so quickly that he lost his balance. His arms flailed as he both tried to catch himself and get rid of the blindfold, certain he would hit his head on the bed if he fell.
But Sebastian's warm, strong hands caught him by the waist and pulled him back. "I didn't say you could move," he teased, rubbing his stubbled cheek against an arse cheek and leaving a hand low on Jim's stomach to keep him close.
Jim was trembling, but still managed to sound almost cocky as he retorted: "Then don't startle me."
"You shouldn't let yourself be scared of anything. I've got you," Sebastian said. The cap of the bottle of lube clicked.
Jim tensed just a little. He hadn't been preparing this time, not expecting any of this to happen.
"I wasn't scared. Just startled."
"Right..." The back of Sebastian's hand brushed Jim's bum a few times, petting him. And then, suddenly, he bit down on Jim's right arse cheek.
Jim howled and twisted away. "Ow! That bloody hurt."
"Oh. You liked when I bit you... earlier..." Sebastian petted the sore skin.
Jim huffed. "I didn't say I didn't like it..." he muttered. "Just that it hurt... And it feels strange when I can't see you."
"Ah." Sebastian's chuckle sounded far too triumphant. "Yes. That's rather the point, isn't it?" And he slipped a slick finger between the cheeks of Jim's arse.
Jim gasped, this time with pleasure. And just a tiny bit of relief that Sebastian was going to take time to get him ready. At least he hoped that was what he was planning.
For a while Sebastian just rubbed between his cheeks, not even trying to breach. Then, finally, he started brushing Jim's opening, at the same time stroking his other hand down his stomach.
Once Jim had relaxed enough that Sebastian could slip his finger in, he pulled back, only leaving the hand on his stomach. And then, without warning, Jim was lifted off his feet.
"What... What are you doing?" Jim cried, squirming as he felt himself starting to panic.
"Ssh," Sebastian said in his ear. "I'm just letting you get a bit more comfortable." He lowered Jim on the mattress, manhandling him a bit until he was on his knees again.
As soon as Jim felt the bed under him, he relaxed. "Warn me next time, okay?" he said. This game was starting to mess with his head. "You know, I could just take it off. I'm only leaving the blindfold on because I trust you. But throw me around like that again and we stop, okay?"
"You know the word," Sebastian answered. The mattress dipped as he sat behind Jim and then the finger returned.
"Don't make me use it," Jim said, moaning as he felt the tip slip inside him.
He bent forward, resting his hands on the mattress and, when Sebastian didn't protest, he parted his legs a little. He was almost (but only almost) disappointed that the movement didn't earn him another of those silly little slaps. But before he could start debating why they felt so good but really shouldn't, Sebastian began sliding his finger in and Jim's mind went blissfully blank. A few minutes later, Jim had made up his mind about the blindfold. He was definitely into that!
Because he couldn't see, he was able to focus on feeling. And, absurdly - since Sebastian could still see him - he wasn't thinking about how he looked. On film it was always about the appearance. Was he turned the right way? Was he making a stupid face? And with Sherlock it had been the same, because the man was so bloody gorgeous, Jim had been desperately trying to live up to it. But now he didn't give a fuck if he looked like a fool. He just wanted Sebastian to keep pumping that finger into him, fast and hard. And that bloody bastard knew what he was doing. He wasn't just going for Jim's prostate, but moving and twisting his finger so that he'd keep missing it and then, just when Jim wasn't expecting it, he'd brush over it, making him shake and moan.
Soon Jim had to settle down on his elbows, unable to hold himself up. A moment later, Sebastian added a second finger and Jim whimpered. "So good..." he whined. "It feels so good."
"Yes," Sebastian said. "Tell me how good you are feeling. What you want me to do next."
Jim wasn't sure he was ready, but he still knew exactly what he wanted. "I want you to fuck me..." he gasped. "Please fuck me..."
"Not quite yet," Sebastian said. "I'm pretty big. You may have noticed..." But he did add another finger.
"Y... Yes..." Jim groaned. "It did occur to me that the cock ripping me open was a bit larger than average."
"As if you cared." Sebastian laughed. "I've seen that toy you have in your drawer..."
"I got that when I learned I would be filming with you..." Jim admitted. "A real pain in the arse the first time I used it."
Still laughing, Sebastian pressed a kiss on his shoulder blade and then slowly pulled out his fingers. "On your back," he said.
Trying to hide his surprise, Jim lay down and turned onto his back. He had expected Sebastian to keep him on his knees for this. It was strange facing him, but not being able to see him.
"Lift your hips," Sebastian ordered. As Jim obeyed, he put a pillow in place, and then pulled Jim's feet out from under him so he fell down on it.
"So..." he said, pushing Jim's legs further open, the mattress dipping between them. "You bought a toy especially for me?" A wrapper was torn and then the cap of the lube clicked again.
"I bought it for me," Jim said. "Because I wanted to do that film. With you."
"Exactly." Sebastian leaned over him and gently bit his earlobe.
"Using it wasn't exactly pleasurable." At least not the first time, but why tell Sebastian that?
"And the real thing?" Sebastian's cock nudged against Jim's arse.
"Hurts too," Jim moaned. "But feels so good... Please..."
Sebastian shifted so he could start pushing in and bit down on Jim's collar bone, harder this time.
Jim cried out again, but this time it wasn't in protest. This was just the right mix of pleasure and pain and he flung his arms around Sebastian, eager for more.
Sebastian slowly started working himself in, always pulling back a little before he slid in the slightest bit further. As he licked and nipped more at Jim's neck and chest, Jim felt himself relaxing, only now realising how much he'd been expecting pain.
"Still with me?" Sebastian asked, thankfully not stopping his deliberate rhythm.
Jim quickly closed his mouth and nodded. "It's... good..." he whispered.
"Okay." Sebastian pressed a kiss to his neck and then pushed in even more slowly until he couldn't go any further, letting out a long sigh of pleasure.
He held still for so long that Jim had almost made up his mind to demand that he move when Sebastian began rolling his hips. Every slow thrust went deep, making Jim moan with pleasure and almost-pain. Being less prepared made him feel Sebastian's size even more keenly than the other times and he could not deny that it felt good being stretched and filled to the point where he thought he couldn't take it anymore. And then finding that he could. Over and over again. Clinging to Sebastian, he matched his movements, whimpering in a very undignified way, that he would never have allowed himself if there had been a camera present. Or Sherlock. Sherlock was so controlled that Jim had not dared let go with him.
But right now, he just wanted Sebastian to continue pushing into him, his hands groping and caressing him. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced and he did not want it to end.
But eventually it did. Sebastian began moving faster and then lifted himself up so that he could get a hand between them. As he wrapped his fingers around Jim's cock and stroked him in time with the thrusts, their lips came together and Sebastian kissed him through his climax, muffling the cries and moans.
Finally the fingers of Sebastian's left hand hooked behind the rolled-up t-shirt and he pulled it over Jim's head, allowing him to see. He broke the kiss, smiling down at Jim, before carefully sitting back, holding the condom in place as he pulled out. Then he sat up on his knees, giving Jim a good view as he fucked his own right hand, which was partly covered with Jim's come.
Jim squinted and blinked, trying to cope with the all too bright light, not wanting to miss a second of the sight in front of him.
It didn't take long before Sebastian curved his back and groaned, watching Jim until he was filling the condom, his eyes falling shut as he gave himself a few last strokes.
Jim laughed breathlessly. "My own private show..." His voice sounded strange to himself.
Sebastian gasped out a laugh too. "All yours." He tied off the condom and then lowered himself half on top of Jim, putting an arm around him and kissing his temple.
Jim wasn't sure who had drifted off first, but when he woke, Sebastian's arms were still around him, his chest hair tickling in his nose. Jim fought the urge to sneeze and turned his head a little, so that he could look up at his sleeping lover's face.
Lover… That's what they were, right? Things had gone way beyond casual and not just because of them sleeping together. In Jim's bed. Last night had been like nothing Jim had ever felt before. Not some cliché about mindblowing sex. It had just been so very… different.
When Sebastian blindfolded him, Jim had expected things to get rough and hot. That Sebastian would tie him up and tease him before using him. Like in that film they'd done. But instead he had been so tender. Gentle. Jim would not have believed that sex could be like that.
He had always thought it was just a myth. Something people made up to justify their needs or something. But what they had done… It could only be called one thing. Right?
Sebastian made a sort of grunting sound and, giggling, Jim surged up to kiss him. "Good morning," he purred against his lips. "And thank you."
Sebastian smiled and kissed him back before croaking: "Hey."
"That was really good," Jim said, grinning. "Last night. It felt amazing. Both the sex and the… Not being able to see."
Sebastian hummed and brought up a hand to play with Jim's hair. "Yeah… It was." For a moment he just lay there, sleepily scratching his nails against Jim's skull, before their eyes met again. "Would you like some more?"
"I'd love some," Jim said. "But not right now. It still aches a bit. It's almost like you're still inside me." He giggled again. "It's not a bad feeling. But if we tried again now, I'm pretty sure I'd be feeling it for a week."
"You can get some without me being inside you…" Sebastian muttered, his breath hot against Jim's ear as he propped himself up on his elbows.
"Or maybe I can just get some breakfast?" Jim suggested. "Without the blindfold." He frowned as the unbidden image of himself sitting blindfolded on a chair while Sebastian fed him treats popped into his head, making him shiver.
Sebastian looked puzzled for a moment, but then pecked his lips and leaned back against the pillow. "Alright. Need any help?"
"Thanks," Jim said, rolling away from Sebastian. "I think I have some eggs. And there's bacon in the fridge. I'm out of coffee, but tea will do." He sighed and closed his eyes, smiling.
Sebastian snorted. "Right… I guess it's only fair you put me to work now." The mattress shifted and he padded to the door.
Jim opened one eye, surprised that Sebastian had actually gone to the kitchen. Sherlock had never gotten him as much as a glass of water…
Sighing happily, he stretched and nuzzled his pillow.
"Jim?" Sebastian's voice sounded softly. "Are you awake?"
"Mmmmmhhhhh?" Waking up the second time was a lot harder. He blinked and tried to focus.
Finally Sebastian came into view, holding two plates and smiling. "Sorry it took a while. Had trouble finding a pan."
Jim sat up, yawning. "'s fine..." he mumbled. "I took a nap..." He shifted to one side, making room for Sebastian.
Sebastian sat down and handed Jim his plate, balancing his own in his lap, then turned towards the night table to pour them both tea.
"You actually cooked me breakfast?" Jim asked, looking at his plate, not quite believing it. "I was only joking."
Sebastian shrugged and handed him a cup. "I'm a bit peckish myself. Hope it's okay." He also handed Jim a fork and knife, then attacked his own plate.
Jim sipped the tea but it was too hot to drink without milk and he put it on the nightstand, deciding against mentioning this to Sebastian. Instead he leaned over to kiss his cheek before starting on his own food. It was very good.
"Any plans for today?" Sebastian asked when he'd almost finished his food.
Jim nodded. "I want to get started on that script. About the office romance."
"Right." Sebastian smiled. "So do you want some input, or should I... you know, leave you alone with the muse?"
"You're my muse, " Jim said before realising how soppy that sounded. "I mean, I would like it if you'd help. Please."
Of course Sebastian's wicked grin woke up at that. Of course. "If I'm a muse, does that mean I should wear a sheet? Like an Ancient Greek?"
"Of course." Jim giggled at the mental image. "Or nothing. I'm sure that would be very inspiring."
"I'm not sure 'inspiring' and 'distracting' always mean the same thing." Sebastian winked and then put his plate aside.
"I'll be the judge of that." Jim grinned and picked up a slice of bacon, crunching it between his teeth.