Adam rested his head on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. It felt like it was the first fresh air he was getting into his lungs all day.

It was now dark out; he'd been here all afternoon. He was tried, bone crushingly tried. He looked at his phone and scrolled through all the messages. Mostly from his family and he stopped when he found the one her was looking for. 'No worries. Are you okay?'

Kim had also left him a voice message after her coffee date with Kevin. She had called him but it had gone straight to voicemail.

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the headrest wearily as he waited for her to pick up. "Hey Kim. Sorry I haven't called."

"Are you okay?"

"Ahh… Not really." Kim's heart leapt into her throat when he paused for a moment. "I'm at the hospital. My Dad had a heart attack."

"Oh god Adam, is he okay?"

"Yeah. I think so. He's had a stent put in and he's doing okay now."

"That's good right? Do you want me to come down?"

"No, it's okay. I'm heading home now anyway. Not much more I can do here. Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. It's just been pretty full on."

"It's okay. How are you?"

"Okay." He answered shakily. He sounded anything but okay.

"Do you want some company?" Kim asked quietly. She could hear him suck in a deep breath and she held hers in anticipation.

"Yes." His voice was barely above a whisper. It had been another emotionally draining day and in all honesty he had no idea how many more he could take. He wanted her. For once he needed someone to be there for him. Lately no one had been there for him, since all this started he had either pushed people away or pretended that he was fine. Once he had told her that he wasn't fine, just after they split up and she had brushed him off and since them the wall around him just kept getting higher. Right now he was anything but fine. And it wasn't just lately, since the day Kim had given him back the ring he'd been alone. Was it wrong to ask for help? He was scared that even if he asked he wouldn't get the help he needed? He didn't want to be hurt again.

His Dad's heart attack suddenly bought him to a screaming halt. The weight of the world felt like it was squarely on his back. He had spent the afternoon worried about his Dad, organising his work and making decisions about his treatment. He'd spoken to his Uncle and fielded calls from the rest of his somewhat absent family and he'd done it all by himself.

He didn't want to be alone anymore; that feeling was becoming too familiar, too comfortable. While they assured him that his father was stable and resting comfortably he needed to retreat into his own world and now that Kim was spinning in his orbit again he knew that's what he needed the most. He needed Kim.

Adam had barely walked through the door and dropped his keys and wallet on the bench before he called the hospital to check up on his Pops. He was still stable and they promised to call if anything changed.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and stood in the kitchen letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. Finishing off the beer he tossed the bottle in the recycle bin when he heard a knock on the door. Kim held up a take-out bag from Au Cheval. "Thought you'd be hungry."

"You thought right." He pulled her inside and wrapped one arm around her waist. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too. Are you okay?"

"Sure." He grabbed the bag from her hand and leant in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet but all too brief.

Kim followed him into the kitchen. "How's your Dad?"

"Not too bad. I just called the hospital and he's resting comfortably right now. It's been a pretty long day." He rubbed his face wearily as he let Kim grab some plates and dish out the burgers and fries. He fetched a couple of beers before they headed to the couch. It was the first time she had been back here since they broke up and not much had changed. He had always been a clean freak, if not a little untidy but it was never dirty.

"You'd be surprised. I did go through a period where this place looked like a brothel." He could see her looking around, seeing what had changed no doubt. "I've got my shit together now though."

"Last night was a long hard slog. We jumped from one call to another. I got home and just crashed." Adam sat and listened to Kim talk about her night shift as he finished off his burger. He hadn't really eaten all day and it barely touched the sides and he was happy to let her do the talking and not have to think about what was going on a the hospital for a few minutes. "I caught up with Atwater this afternoon."

"How is Kev?" There was a time that he and Kevin had been on the outer. Adam had found out that Atwater had caught up with Roman for beers at Molly's just after they all found out about Kim's relationship with him in Court. That had hurt him, he felt that he'd been kicked around by just about everyone and thought he could rely on his best friend, actually his Best Man to have his back. Obviously not and he had called him out on it. Of course Atwater had apologised and had decided to distance himself from Kim and Roman and be there for his buddy. They had got over it and now Atwater was just as angry with Roman as he was.

"Good. You know Kev, he's always good at talking me down from a ledge."

"What ledge were you on now?"

Kim blushed a little. "Oh you know me, I still over think things."

"You really shouldn't. It's not good for you." Adam leant forward and placed his plate on the table and grabbed his beer. "You over think things and I don't talk enough, right?"

"You've talked a lot lately." Kim rested her hand on his thigh. "Do you think that'll stop anytime soon?"

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, but I want to stop talking about the same things over and over again. The going around in circles could stop. The rest can stay."

"Sure, fair point." He shrugged as he picked at the label on his beer. "I guess soon enough we'll decide that there is nothing more to talk about with regards to the last few months. Anyway I am glad you are here."

"Yeah?"

"It's been tough. I have pushed people away and tried to deal with everything by myself. Right now I need someone to hold me up. I want someone to be here for me for a change." He took a mouthful of beer as he stared off into space. "And I needed it to be you."

"I'm glad." Adam grabbed a cushion and laid it in her lap before lying down. He was looking up at her and Kim started brushing his hair gently back from his forehead. "I miss this."

"Me too." He closed his eyes and let the feeling of being so close to her wash over him. The feeling of having someone care about him was all that he needed. Did she want more? Probably… Could he give it to her? Probably not right now.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. I guess you freaked out a bit hey?" Adam looped his fingers through her free hand and rested it on his stomach.

"I tried not too."

"It was pretty crazy. I had only just woken up and saw your message and then I got the call. It all happened pretty quickly and by the time I got to the hospital everything was just spinning. Every time I thought I had a minute to call you something else happened. People were coming at me left, right and centre all wanting a piece of me. I had no idea what they were talking about half the time. And my phone didn't stop." He felt he had to explain his afternoon and why he didn't call. "I was worried that you would think I had changed my mind."

"It's okay Adam. Really. Your family is important and your Dad needed you."

"So you weren't all freaked out?" He opened one eye and looked at her and she knew he wasn't buying what she was trying to sell.

"Well, I little bit." She admitted.

"Sorry. It wasn't what I had planned for today."

"What did you have planned?"

"I was hoping that we could go out maybe spend some time down at the river or something and maybe dinner."

"At least we got the dinner part."

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks for the Burgers. They were pretty good." He bought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers before closing his eyes again and enjoying the silence.

Kim on the other hand, didn't want silence. She wanted to hear his voice; she wanted to see his eyes. They had always done it for her, his eyes. He was so expressive and most of it came from those dark soulful eyes. He was the only person who could physically touch her right now; she felt safe and comfortable with him and hadn't felt that for the longest time.

"Do you mind if I grab a shower?" Suddenly his voice surprised her as he pushed himself up. She had been a million miles away, lost in her own thoughts.

The silence had given him a moment to think. All day his mind had been taken up with his Pop and now he wanted to think about something else. Yet those thoughts were just as chaotic. What did he want? What did he want to happen right now? If he asked her to stay what did it mean? Could they take the next step? Was he ready to take the next step? Was she ready?

"Sure. Go ahead. I'll make a coffee." She stood up and grabbed the plates from table and headed to the kitchen. Adam watched her go before he wearily stood up and knew, by the sag of her shoulders that she was probably just as confused as he was.

He came out of the shower and Kim was back sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hand staring at the dark liquid in her cup. "Whatcha thinking about?" He dropped down beside her. Her nose was filled with his scent, fresh and clean with his familiar body wash. It surrounded her and made her heart beat a little faster. He never brushed his hair when he got out of the shower; actually she doubted he actually owned a comb or brush so it was a little wild looking where he had just run his hands through it. God, he looked spectacular, she had forgotten how good-looking he really was.

"Nothing in particular."

"Yeah sure." He was onto her.

"Okay." Kim felt the warming sensation of a blush creeping up her neck. "I was thinking about you, in the shower and that you were naked. Probably not appropriate right now though is it?"

Adam chuckled a little before looking at her seriously. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to push you. You've been through so much and I need you to be ready to put it all behind you."

"I know."

"If I ask you to stay tonight would you be happy if we just slept?"

"In your bed?" She asked. "In your arms? Yes."

He reached out and tucked a loose wave of hair behind her ear. "Then stay please." His thumb grazed her cheek lightly "Stay with me."

Kim leant into his hand and met his steady gaze. "Let's go to bed." She whispered.

Up until that moment she thought she was ready. And then she got into his bedroom and he started to undress Kim suddenly felt the room spinning and she sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong Baby?" he crouched down in front of her and rested both hands lightly on her thighs. Kim jumped a little and he pulled his hands away. "Kim, honey. Talk to me."

When she lifted her head her eyes were brimming with tears. "I'm sorry Adam."

"What?"

"I thought I could do this. I want to do this."

"Kim, if you are not ready that's okay. I can sleep on the couch."

"No, god no. It's just….I'm embarrassed." She finally admitted. "About the burn." Although the wound had healed well every time she looked in the mirror she could see it. It was an ugly reminder of the worst days of her life. A painful reminder of all the mistakes she had made.

"I don't care about that. I care about you. That doesn't define you; it means nothing to me. Like those scars from when you were shot, they are battle scars; scars that show how tough you are." He held out a hand and waited for her to take it again. Slowly she did and he entwined his fingers through hers and they stayed there for just a moment. Eventually he pulled her up off the bed and led her over to the chest of drawers and pulled out a t-shirt for her to wear. "You can wear this." While she changed he turned off the light.

Adam got into bed and waited. He didn't say anything as Kim climbed in bed and he opened his arms and welcomed her back where she belonged. Where he could keep her safe and protect her. Kim rested a hand on his stomach, relishing the feeling of his skin under her fingers. She moved them lightly and at first Adam barely felt it. When he did he turned his head towards her and kissed the top of her head. "You Okay?" he whispered.

"I am." It was the most peaceful night's sleep she'd had in weeks, probably months. They were woken by Adam's phone well before dawn. He sat up quickly, squinting at the number and he felt a wave of dread rush through him.

"I'm on my way." Kim was sitting up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist as he dropped his head. "I've gotta go. My Dad.." his voice was hoarse. "He's had another heart attack."

"Adam, I'm so sorry. Can I do anything? Do you want me to come with you?"

"Could you? Is that okay?" Something deep within him told him that the outcome of this day wasn't going to be positive and he didn't want to go through it alone. They both quickly got dressed, grabbed a coffee and were out the door in less than twenty minutes. Adam held her hand all the way to the hospital, he couldn't let go because he felt like things were slipping through his fingers and if he blinked or let go she would be gone too. He was hanging on for dear life because part of him knew that life was never going to be the same after today.

Adam sat with Bob for an hour before he came out and sat with Kim. Bob's sister had arrived and Adam let her go in and see her brother alone. Kim offered to call the District for him and let them know what was going on and that he wouldn't be in today and she reminded him. "Then people will know about us."

He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes. "Do you think I care about that right now?" The hand that she had on his thigh was quickly removed. He opened his eyes quickly and grabbed her hand again and put it back on his leg. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I am glad you are here and I just meant that I don't really care what people think. I need you here now and people can make up their own minds about what that means."

"Are you sure?"

"Kim. Stop over thinking everything." He was a little exasperated, he couldn't deal with her insecurities right now. He knew by the drop of her head that he had spoken a little harshly and apologised immediately. Kim brushed it off with a gentle kiss. "It's okay." She whispered against his lips. "It's okay Adam." His lips were a little salty, he'd obviously been crying when he was with his father. Kim felt her heart breaking for him and was surprised at how much his pain affected her. These moments only reinforced how wrong everything had been over the last few months.

Kim called Voight for him. Out of everyone she knew that he wouldn't even bat an eyelid that she was calling or make a big deal of it. Although Adam didn't care what anyone thought, Kim wasn't sure she was ready for all the inevitable questions. He told her to call him if Ruzek needed anything and let him know if things changed.

And change they did. Not for the better. The second heart attack had killed off far too much heart muscle and it became a waiting game. Adam spent some time with him and although he was unconscious he liked to think that his Dad could hear him.

"Pops." He started slowly. "I owe you everything. I am who I am because of you. I am the cop that I am because of you. I hope you are proud of me. Thank you for coming home to me everyday when I was a boy, thank you for coming to watch me play, taking me to ball games and ice hockey games. I know the last few months have been rough and that you were worried about me but I want you to know that I am going to be okay. I have Kim, she's going to help me get through this." Tears streamed down his face. "I love her, I know you always knew that but let me work it out for myself. You didn't push me, you supported me and I know you hurt for me too. I want you to be happy for me. I carry you with me everyday; everyday when I pick up that star I know that's you; that you'll be with me. I love you Pops." He kissed his father's forehead and rested there for a few moments.

He fell into Kim's arms when he came out. Letting his Aunt and newly arrived Uncle have their time to say goodbye to their brother. He didn't speak and he had no idea how long they sat in silence for. A nurse eventually came out and tapped him on the shoulder. "You should go in." and he knew it meant that it was the end.

The nurse returned a little while later and told her that he'd gone. Kim pressed her hands to her eyes as she fought back tears. Not only for Bob, who she had met a few times but mainly for Adam. She was devastated for him.

"Baby I am so sorry." She could feel the wetness of his tears on her neck. He held onto her so tightly. He was grateful that he had someone to hold onto and he was grateful that it was Kim.

He had given her his phone while he went back into his father's room and she called Voight. He didn't want to talk to anyone just yet.

Voight came out of his office and stood quietly in the centre of his Bullpen. "Bob Ruzek passed away a little while ago. Adam was with him." A sad silence fell over the room. "We all know that Adam doesn't have much family, except this one."

Al stepped away from his desk after they took some time to let it sink in before he called him. "Hi Al, it's Kim."

"Burgess." He wasn't completely surprised to hear her voice. "How's the kid?" Kim smiled a little. Adam pretended to hate it when Al called him 'Kid' but he knew it was a term of endearment that he only used with Adam and right now he would need to hear it.

"He's pretty stunned. I am pretty sure it hasn't really hit him yet, it all happened so quickly."

"It's good that you are there for him. You are exactly what he needs. Hey, give him a hug from me."

"I will Al. I think we are heading back to his Dad's place soon. I will let you know."

Holding onto his phone was comforting. It was heart warming to know how many people cared about him. Everyone in his unit called and there were so many messages of support from the District and his father's colleagues. He said he felt alone and wanted someone to be there for him for a change. He had so many people surrounding him; all he had to do was look up.

The day was a blur of visitors, decisions and tears. Kim felt a little out of place as Adam gracefully greeted the visitors once they were back at the house. There was a steady stream of cops, old friends and neighbours all coming through, filling the house with noise, flowers and food. It had always amused her how people turned up with food when someone died. Did people just have something in the freezer, ready to go? She was grateful for the cakes though because it also seemed that when people came to pay their respects the awkwardness of what to say next could always be relieved with a cup of tea or coffee and something to eat.

Kim busied herself in the kitchen and with finding homes for all the flowers that started flooding in by the afternoon. She had barely spoken to Adam since they had been there although he did find her briefly. She rested a hand on his cheek. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay I think." Before he disappeared again.

"Kim." She swung around in surprise when she heard Erin's voice and as Erin wrapped her up in a hug she let a few tears fall. "Are you okay?"

"Yep. I am just trying to help." She offered meekly.

"I am sure Adam really appreciates that you are here. He told me that you had been here all day."

She looked at her feet shyly. "I was at his place this morning when the hospital called." She admitted.

Erin giggled. "I figured as much."

"Nothing like that happened." She clarified quickly. "With his Dad yesterday he just wanted some company."

"Kim, you don't need to justify anything. As long as you and Adam are happy with everything, that's all that matters."

She could tell that he appreciated that the entire Intelligence Unit turned up for him. It was nice to see his family crowded around him, because that's all he had left. When they eventually all left Kim found him in his Pop's study, staring out the window. It was the only quiet place in the house. "Hey." Kim closed the door softly behind her. Adam turned his head and smiled sadly.

"You're hiding?"

"Just for a minute. I needed to catch my breath. It's all pretty full on." Adam held out his arm and Kim wrapped her arms around his waist and he enveloped her. The silence was just what he needed and instinctively Kim knew that he didn't need her to say anything

It wasn't long before they were interrupted by one of his cousins. "I'm coming." He sighed when he was told that the Chaplain was here. He kissed Kim softly.

"Hey I'm going to take off for a bit."

Adam felt his heart tighten a little. He really didn't want her to go. Although he had barely had two minutes alone with her all afternoon knowing that she was there was enough.

"I need to have a shower and change of clothes."

"Will you be back?"

"Are you staying here tonight? I can get you some clothes if you want." His Aunt would be staying as she had driven down from Minneapolis and would be staying at the house. She didn't want to stay by herself as husband was still on his way. Adam got on well with his Aunt, not that he saw her much these days but growing up he had spent a fair bit of time with them. His cousins were of similar age but were pretty much all settled now and he didn't keep in touch with them either.

"I guess so, at least for tonight. If you could grab me some stuff that would be good." He dug around in his pocket for his keys. "Don't be too long."