Sonic sped off on another one of his daily runs. Today, he decided to head south to Seaside Hill Zone. Big Blue decided that a little fun, sun and sand would ease his pain. For a while, nothing was going wrong.

Then, Sonic slammed into something black and red. The resulting collision threw him backwards, hurtling end over end, until he was stopped by a palm tree. Fortunately, he still had enough strength to roll away before a falling coconut hit him. Clambering to his feet, the Blue Blur dusted himself off and shook his head. Before he could proceed any further, the something that he had collided with was upon him.

"Good morning…Sonic."

"Good mornin' to ya too, Shadow! Mind me askin' why ya took time outta your busy day to almost kill me?"

Shadow the Hedgehog crossed his arms and briefly cocked his head sideways. "Hmph, I could ask the same thing of you. However, I'm going to spare you any further damage and instead bring you this announcement…"

Sonic smirked. "Go ahead…make my day."

"As you know, tomorrow is my birthday…and Rouge's birthday as well."

"Huh?"

Shortly after, a few neurons jogged Sonic's memory:

Upon stepping foot inside, Sonic slipped on a bunch of mail and fell. When he hit the floor, he couldn't help but notice one piece of mail in particular. As if the Black Arms stamp wasn't already a giveaway, the sender's name was.

(A letter from Shadow?) thought Sonic. (Ah, probably one of his death threats again. Why doesn't that turkey just tell me in person?)

Sonic raised his eyebrows. "Ooooooooh." Then, he smiled. "Hey hey, congratulations!" He opened his arms and prepared to hug Shadow, but the Ultimate Life Form pushed him away.

"Spare me the celebratory gesture," said Shadow.

Sonic snarled.

"Well anyways, I gotta go," said Sonic. "I got business to attend to. Happy birthday!" He turned around, but Shadow grabbed him by the collar.

"Not so fast!" said Shadow. "Since it's my birthday, that means you have to get me a gift."

"What a load of crap! People get each other birthday gifts because they want to, not because they have to!"

"Listen here…"

Sonic broke free of Shadow's grip and grabbed him by his chest fur. "NO, you listen here! I just lost my uncle, and I'm NOT in the mood for your jive, ya dig!?"

Shadow pushed Sonic off of him. "I'm sorry to hear about your uncle, and I understand your pain, but know this: ever since I broke out of Prison Island, nobody – and I say NOBODY – has ever been kind enough to get me a single birthday gift. Therefore, I want everybody to get me one this year, and that includes you, you wretched worm."

Sonic threw his arms up. "FINE! I'll get your stupid birthday present, pal!"

"Would it kill you to calm down?"

"I dunno, would it kill ya not to hit me with your stupid surprise announcements?"

Shadow grabbed Sonic by the collar and jammed a Smith & Wesson Model 29 down his throat.

"You know, you're going the right way to have your brains decorating the landscape," said Shadow. "Now, I'm going to let you go, and when I do, you're not going to give me any more sass. Is that understood?"

Sonic nodded. "Uh-huh."

Shadow removed the .44 from Sonic's throat. "Good. Now, are you going to get me a present tomorrow?"

"Uh…yeah…sure…ain't no thang!"

"Hmph, barring your use of obsolete slang, I'll accept your answer."

Sonic gave a thumbs up. "Groovy! Check ya on the flip, Shad!"

With that, Sonic sped off.

Meanwhile, back at the shop, things were going pretty smoothly. Sonic rushed over to Tails, who was working on a jetpack.

"Tails…I got a big problem!"

"What is it?"

"OK, so I was out runnin' around and guess who I ran into?"

"Who?"

"Flippin' Shadow, that's who!"

"So?"

"So, he told me that tomorrow is his birthday and he threatened to cap me if I don't get him a gift!"

"I know." Tails turned around, revealing a pink lipstick mark on his cheek. "Rouge told me, too."

Sonic put his hands on his forehead. "Aw man, what are we gonna do!?"

Tails put down his tools and put his hands on Sonic's shoulders. "Sonic, you know Shadow and Rouge better than anyone else. I'm sure you'll think of a gift. Plus, Rouge said she'd wipe out your uncle's debts if you got her a really nice one. I'll even chip in for the gifts if it makes you feel any better!"

Sonic smiled. "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it!"

"You're welcome!"

"Now, all I need to…" Sonic snapped his fingers. "I got it! Just gimme a few Mobiums and I'll be back faster than you can say 'back in the groove'!"

"Sure thing!"

After receiving some dough from Tails, Sonic made a quick foray downtown and made good on his promise. Then, he led Tails to his office.

"Dig these babies!" Sonic opened up the containers with the gifts he intended to get for Shadow and Rouge – an AK-47 and a large diamond, respectively.

"Let me take a look…"

Tails picked up the AK first. Initially, he showed the same level of curiosity that he treated all machines with. Suddenly, he let out a loud gasp.

"Sonic, we can't give this rifle to Shadow!" said Tails.

"Why not?" asked Sonic.

"Look…"

Tails handed the rifle to Sonic and pointed to a spot on the left side of the receiver, just above the grip. Here, the word "HESSE" was engraved.

"So?" said Sonic.

"Haven't you heard?" asked Tails. "Hesse Arms is notorious for producing low-quality firearms!"

"Look on the bright side: it was cheap!"

Tails sighed.

"OK, OK, so maybe I shoulda read some reviews first!" said Sonic. "I'll go out and get another heater later! Right now, though, I think I'm gonna watch an episode of Motor Squad. You can keep doin' whatever it was you were doin'."

"OK."

Tails exited the office, while Sonic turned on the computer and fired up Firefox. Uncle Chuck really liked the news, which explained why the homepage was set to the website of the Emerald City Herald. He was about to log into his Netflix account when a certain headline caught his eye:

SEARCH FOR MISSING DIAMOND CONTINUES

Upon opening the article, he was treated to a rather unwelcome sight: the diamond referred to – the Kranzkowski Diamond – was the exact same one that Sonic bought for Rouge the Bat. Being the hero type, Sonic grabbed it and headed for the nearest police station – Sector 37, to be precise. This was one of the cleaner houses in Emerald City – rather unusual for a sector in the western part, but still pretty normal given its proximity to clean industry. Behind the desk sat a golden eagle.

"Good afternoon, Sonic!" said the eagle. "Sorry about your uncle. What can I do for you today?"

"Remember that stolen diamond that they're lookin' for?" asked Sonic.

"What about it?"

Sonic produced the Kranzkowski Diamond. "Here it is!"

Officers took notice of Sonic's find and began cheering.

"Amazing!" exclaimed the eagle. "We've been looking all over for that! Where did you find it?"

"I bought it at Savers," said Sonic, "and let me tell ya, it wasn't cheap!"

"OK, we'll keep looking for the suspects. In the meantime, we'll also contact you if the owner of the diamond decides to issue a reward."

"That's keen! Call me at my uncle's shop, and if I ain't there, ask for Tails, OK?"
"You got it!"

With that, Sonic left the station.

(Guess I got some askin' around to do!)