Kim finally had a moment to think and to breathe. When she got back at her place she jumped in the shower and as the hot water washed away the day she felt the sudden sting of tears in her eyes.

Adam needed her like never before but she was worried that he would lean on her because of this situation rather than because he wanted to re-kindle their relationship. What if in the end of it all this was just delaying the inevitable? What if they couldn't make it work? Was this just going to make it harder to say goodbye?

Drying herself off, she let her fingers rest on the faint scar on her chest. How could they ever move on if she couldn't even let him see it?

But then again sleeping in his arms again had been perfect. She felt like she'd come home after months of roaming aimlessly and she had to believe that this was just another slight change in direction and they could get there, they would get there. She was certainly going to fight tooth and nail for him.

She heard her phone beep with a message from the other room. Quickly throwing on some clothes she threw some toiletries in a bag along with a change of clothes. Adam had sent her a message. 'In case I forget to tell you later. I couldn't have made it through today without you.'

'I would do anything to make this hurt less for you. I'll be back soon.' She responded quickly.

Kim headed over to his place and grabbed some clothes for him. She made the bed, the bed that they had slept in last night before sitting for a few moments and ran her hands over his pillow. It had been so nice to be here last night. It was nice to be close to him again. It had been weeks of back and forth, drifting close and then pulling away again. Adam had been beside her through her darkest moments and that made her feel more guilty because she had turned her back on him the moment things got too hard and without talking to him. It was time to start showing him that she was strong enough now to be that person. The person he could rely and depend on. Whatever happened to them in the future she would do this for him now, she would be there for him.

Back at the house the visitors had basically all gone and only a few of Bob's closet friends remained. Adam jumped up when he saw the lights of his truck in the driveway and came out to meet Kim. "How is it?"

"Calming down." He grabbed his bag and smiled a little when he saw hers. "So you are staying?"

"Only if you want me too. I wasn't sure."

"Of course I want you to stay. I thought I'd made that quite obvious." Kim followed him into the house and he headed upstairs to put the bags in his room. He indicated that Kim should follow him. As he dropped the bags inside his room he pulled Kim in and closed the door.

"I just want a couple of minutes to talk to you. We haven't had much of a chance today." He led her over to the bed and pulled her down to sit beside him. "I'm a little lost. I feel like I am standing on the outside watching everything unravel. I never thought this would happen. I just always thought my Dad would be here."

Kim rested one hand on his cheek and the other on his thigh. He covered her hand with his. "I can't imagine what it feels like to lose your Dad. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but there is nothing that feels right."

"I don't need you to say anything. I just need you to be here. That's all I want."

"I am here. For as long as you want me to be."

"We can do this, can't we?" Adam's voice broke finally and he let the tears fall freely.

"I really think we can." Kim's felt her own resolve crumbling. "But Adam there is no rush. We'll take it day by day and right now you have more important things to focus on. Just know that I will be here."

They headed back downstairs and re-joined his family. Kim sat with his Aunt for a while. "Adam told me you'd been through a pretty rough few months and I am sorry. He really was worried about you."

"He's been amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better friend and after all we've been through it was unexpected. I've loved having him around and now I want to be around for him."

"He will need it. Bob adored him and lately they had been pretty close. I wish we lived closer; I used to love having him come and stay on school holidays. He was exhausting, always on the go but he had such a big heart. He just wanted to make everyone happy. I think he was like that because things were pretty shitty for him at home." Kim laughed a little because she could just imagine Adam as a boy. She doubted that he was much different from what he was like now.

"He's still like that. Drives people insane sometimes when he bounces around like Tigger."

"I feel so sad for him. He doesn't really have anyone here. His mother is a bit flaky and his step mother is a tad psychotic."

Kim looked across the room as he threw his head back and laughed. Someone she didn't know was obviously telling him a story about his Pop. While the laugh was genuine the smile didn't reach his eyes. "He does have people. I've had his phone all day and the amount of people that care about him is amazing. He's not alone and he has me, and everyone in Intelligence. They are his family too. We will look after him."

Adam caught her eye and that time the smile reached his eyes. Kim saw and as did his Aunt. She squeezed Kim's arm. "You are a lucky woman."

"I know." And she did. Now she did, God how she hated herself some days for her stupidity.

By the time Adam found his way over to her he was a little buzzed. More than a few of his Pop's colleagues had dropped by and they certainly didn't hold back on the toasts. He threw his arm around her shoulders as they sat on the couch and offered her some of his whiskey. "I do believe Adam Ruzek you are a little drunk." She took the glass from his hand.

"I do believe you are correct." They barely had five minutes before Adam was dragged away again.

He leapt from the couch when he saw who had come in. "What are you doing here?" his eyes narrowed as he was greeted by his Ex Step Mother, she leant in to give him a hug but Adam pulled away.

"Adam, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I just wanted to stop by and offer my condolences."

"You here to dance on his grave?" A hush fell over the room as the small crowd stopped to watch the confrontation. "Thanks for coming but I think it's best that you don't stay."

"Adam…." She started. Kim looked at the woman. She had never seen her or a photo of her. She was tall and willowy and done up to the nines. Fake was a word that sprang to mind. She looked fake. The make-up was a little too heavy, the hair a little too styled and the clothes were pretending to be classier than they were.

Kim didn't know much about that marriage, but she knew it ended quite nasty, a bit like his marriage to Adam's mother. No wonder Adam was running scared. He hadn't exactly had any good examples to learn from.

He turned on his heel and left the room. He couldn't deal with her right now. At some point he would have too but not right now. Kim jumped up and followed him.

"Adam, Baby." She rested a hand on his back as he leant on the kitchen counter. "You okay?"

"No." Kim rubbed his back. "I wasn't ready to deal with that."

"I know. She was a bitch to your Dad hey?" He had never really talked much about his Stepmother or his childhood.

"My Dad and to me. She hated me. The last thing she wanted was some annoying kid around so she did everything she could to make my life hell when I came to visit Dad." The only time Adam really talked about his childhood was late at night and usually in bed. Often it was dark and he would just talk without looking at her, he would just stare off into the darkness and she knew from those few stories that his childhood was far from sunshine and roses. By the time the morning came he just pretended like it didn't happen. At first Kim found it unsettling but soon discovered that it was his way. "I don't want to talk about right now though."

"Okay. Maybe later."

Adam didn't really leave her side for the rest of the night. Even if they drifted apart it was only for a few moments. He would find her. Every time he felt like he was spinning he would find her and let her centre him. The visit from his stepmother rattled him. Up until then he felt like he had some sort of control but now it was gone and he felt things crashing over him in waves.

It was late when Kim told him she was going to bed. "In my bed?" He asked as he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her close and whispered in her ear.

"In your bed."

Not long after she went to bed he came in. He wasn't exactly sober and as he lay down Kim could hear him sigh and felt his body relax, probably for the first time all day. She rolled over and rested a hand on his stomach, lightly dragging her nails over his bare skin. Adam didn't move and she knew he was about to start talking.

"I won a drawing contest at school. First prize and I was so excited. It was a picture of me and my Dad. He was standing beside a cop car. It is funny I can still see the drawing; my Dad was twice the size of the car. I think his star was bigger than the headlight." He spoke slowly and deliberately. He felt for her hand on his stomach. "Anyway I bought it home for my Dad. He was at work that weekend and I took it with me to his place. When he got home from work I asked my Step mom where it was and found it in the bin. She'd spilt red wine all over it and had thrown it out. I was so upset."

Kim kissed his shoulder but didn't say anything. "I cried like a baby and she sent me to my room. I spent a lot of time in my room. I guess that's why I hate closing the bedroom door." Kim had often wondered why he always insisted on sleeping with the door open. He usually just shrugged it off as being claustrophobic. Her place was tiny and he'd found a place that was very open plan and there were no doors on the bedroom. Now she knew. "As soon as dinner was done I was sent to my room and the door was always shut. One day I had to spend all day in there because I had knocked over a vase and broken it."

"Adam…"

"It's okay Kim. Really it is." He turned his head towards her. "I guess that explains a lot hey?"

"It does."

"I hated it when I heard that in court, that he'd locked you in your room."

"Please Adam, I really don't want to go there right now. This is not about me. It's about you." Kim held his hand beneath the sheets.

"It's about us. It's about what makes us now. This happened to us and I guess, until I heard that I never really understood why I was the way I was. Why you thought that I was scared about getting married. Growing up wasn't great and I don't want to be like that, I don't want my children to go through what I went through. I don't want them ever to feel unloved or unwanted." He was reaching into his future but it was explaining who he was now. How much his childhood had affected him.

"You are not like that Adam. I don't see that with you. What I do think though is that all you can do as a husband and a parent is take the good things that your family gave you and learn from the bad and promise yourself that you won't make those mistakes. You might make other mistakes though."

"Can I ask you something?"

Kim kissed his shoulder silently urging him to continue.

"If we decide that we are going to do this, and I know we will. Can we not talk about marriage for a while? Maybe a year?"

She was honestly stunned by his question. It wasn't at all what she expected and he started to get nervous the longer she was silent. "I just want us to focus on being together without everyone asking us about getting married. I don't want that pressure."

"Okay." He wasn't convinced by her response.

"It's not that I don't want to marry you. I always have but it didn't go well for us last time and I think if we don't worry about it for a bit that might be good."

"So a year?"

"Yeah and in a year's time we will sit down, rationally and see if it is still what we want." He felt Kim tremble beside him. "I'm sorry Kim."

"Adam, don't be sorry. You're being honest and that's all I wanted, right from the start."

"But it's not what you want to hear."

"It's okay." She didn't know if he could hear the wobble in her voice and she was glad it was dark so he couldn't see the tear that slid down her cheek. She had no idea what to think. This felt like a step back.

Could she take a step back? Can she just forget that they were once planning to get married and now they were just back being an ordinary couple? Was this just him again being unable to commit? Had she been right all along?