Kim looked at the counsellor like she had rocks in her head. That was completely out of left field, her suggestion was crazy. "Why?"

"Kim, I get the feeling that you have been pretty confused and perhaps a little needy when it comes to your love life in the past." Kim folded her arms across her chest defiantly. Well that was a lovely piece of feedback. "You tried to get over your previous relationship by jumping into a sexual relationship with your work colleague, which you admitted that even at the time you knew was a bad idea and now you want to jump back into bed with your ex-fiancé to make yourself forget about everything that happened to you."

"When you say it like that it sounds bad." Kim pouted.

"It's not good Kim."

"Adam and I are different. I am not trying to get over Sean by being with Adam. I just realised where I should have been all along."

"That's not a bad thing, to want to have someone in your life but it hasn't served you well lately, relying on being in a relationship or having sex to be happy." She continued carefully. "I think it would do you good to take a break."

"But things are going well with Adam. I can't now go and ask him to do this as well."

"Why not?" she looked up from the notes in her lap. "Remember this is what's best for you, not for him and I am sure he wants what is best for you as well. It will give you some clarity. The pair of you have both been through a lot recently. It just removes one obstacle and sometimes we enjoy that part of the relationship so much that you don't deal with everything else and if you don't deal with them you will eventually be back at square one."

Now, they had certainly had a lot of tough conversations lately but she didn't know even how to start this one. They were having dinner tonight. With his Dad's death and funeral and then going back to work they had decided that a weekly date night would be a good place to start.

"How did you go today?" Adam leant on the doorframe to her bedroom as she finished getting dressed. His eyes roamed over her long lean legs and the tall black heels made them seem like they went on forever, he couldn't wait to feel them wrapped around him again.

"Hmm, it was interesting." She mumbled as she struggled to do up her necklace. Adam stepped into the room and helped her clasp it. His fingers brushed against her neck and sent a bolt of electricity through her. She was mad to think she could even contemplate doing this. She watched him in the mirror as he focussed on the clasp. This was going to be hard because every time she saw him he looked more and more gorgeous. It wasn't just his good looks; it was everything about him. His generous heart, his gentle nature perfectly counterbalanced his fierce loyalty and his sense of humour and fun. She had never laughed as hard as she did with him.

"How so?"

"She had an interesting suggestion."

"Hmm?" He ran a finger along her shoulder blade. Softly and slowly and Kim had to swallow hard to have any chance to get the words out.

"She thinks it would be a good idea if I try and be celibate for a while."

"What?" Adam's jaw dropped, he looked like he had just swallowed an insect. His hand slipped from her shoulder. "Whoa, hang on. Back the truck up."

"I think it makes some sense. I've bounced around from you to…." Kim stopped herself from finishing that statement. Adam hated it when she mentioned his name and he would instantly pull away from her when she did. "Anyway, what do you think?"

"What do I think?" He grabbed his phone from his pocket and googled the word. "Let me see, have you actually looked at what that means, abstaining from sexual relations…"

"I know what it means Adam." She was very well aware of what it meant, it had been smashing around in her head since she'd walked out of the counselling session. "She just thinks that in order for us to work through all the issues we had and with everything that has happened lately that perhaps taking sex out of the equation for a bit might be good. Would you hate it?"

"Would I hate it? Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes I am seriously asking you that."

"I've been 'celibate' for months." Adam actually used air quotes "And I gotta say, I don't like it. I have a serious case of DSB going on."

"What's DSB?"

"Well it's starts as a dangerous sperm build up, then it becomes debilitating and right now it's becoming deadly."

Kim couldn't help but laugh. "You are making that up." The smile died on her lips a little when Adam looked at her sharply. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh."

He dramatically threw himself on the bed and whined. "Do you really want to do this?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Three months."

"Three months." He felt like he was right back in High School, desperate to get some action with a girlfriend who was suddenly acting as pure as the driven snow. He was not enjoying this conversation…at all. "Come on Kim, really? You expect me to wait three months, another three months. You are asking a lot." The pouting was quite adorable and Kim had to work hard not to go over and hug him and kiss him to make him feel better. She had a few hours to get her head around this latest development and she was pretty sure her reactions would have been similar had the roles been reversed.

"I know."

"What about a month?" He bargained, suddenly feeling like he was in the middle of an auction. Probably not the best way to go about it but what they hell, he wasn't going down without a fight.

"Two?"

"And then what happens when the two months is up. Is it like a date circled on the calendar? Do I set an alarm? Do we wake up that morning and just go for it? Or is it as soon as it ticks over midnight? It's hardly romantic or even sexy."

Kim wrinkled her nose trying to hold back on her giggle. He sounded panicked, the whining and volume increasing with each sentence. "So are you saying yes?"

He breathed out very slowly. She certainly hadn't given him much of a choice or time to digest this turn of events and make a rational decision. Could he do it? Did he even want too? What would happen if he said no? He surprised even himself as the words came out. "If it's what you really want and need then of course I'll do it. I'll hate it but I'll do it."

The smile of her face wasn't exactly one of joy but one of relief. Somewhere along the way she had realised that it was probably a good idea. The counsellor's blunt assessment of her behaviour had been confronting but not necessarily untrue.

Despite his agreement he was still up for negotiating the finer details. "Hey does this mean we can't share a bed, because I like that? Does it mean I can't kiss you?"

"I think that's allowed."

"Can I feel you up?" Adam winked at her and it made her laugh. "Can I sort myself out?"

"You can continue to do whatever you need to do to stop things turning deadly." She waved her hand in the direction of his groin.

"Good to know." He jumped up off the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Now let's go to dinner and I will try not to think about how much I really want to have sex with you. While I know we haven't really got there yet now that I know that I can't have it for another two months I suddenly really really want it."

"You're funny."

He followed her out of the bedroom and down the hallway muttering away to himself. "I wonder if I can get a refund on those condoms? Do they expire? I should check the date." Kim rolled her eyes; he wasn't going to make this easy.

"So, I've got the will reading next week." On the way to dinner Adam promised to stop teasing her about her celibacy challenge. "Should be fun."

"Makes it real huh?"

"It's very real, trust me."

He looked down at the hand on his thigh. "Move that hand any higher and I think you might be breaking the rules on day one." Kim snatched it away but he reached out and grabbed it and put it back. "Sorry Baby, if I can't have you at least I can enjoy feeling you touch me sometimes."

"Do you want me to come with you?" She changed the subject back to his father's will.

"No, it's okay. There shouldn't be much to it. Just a formality really."

They enjoyed their dinner. Adam told her a few stories about when he visited his Aunt as a child. Kim had got on well with her while she had been in town and they were definitely planning to head up there soon. Probably not for the next two months now, there was no way he was going away with her and not be able to have her. That would be torture. "I'm surprised she still likes you after all you put her through."

"I am that loveable."

"Yes you are." Kim nodded. "Kinda unforgettable really." Adam winked back at her.

"Do you think this partner will stick?" To date Platt had not settled on a new partner for Kim so she would have someone for a week and then start all over again the next week. Adam wouldn't have been surprised if Platt was doing it deliberately to make sure Kim didn't get too comfortable with anyone. In reality it was probably because she was just wary of anyone new these days and they needed to prove themselves to her that they weren't going to turn out to be some nutter. No one needed to go through that again.

When they got back home Adam propped his feet up on her coffee table while he waited for Kim to join him. He was thinking about whether you could classify this date as a success. Sure they had got on well, they were comfortable and happy and he knew that he loved her, almost to his detriment but he so desperately wanted her completely. He wanted to complete the circle. "Are you going to stay?" Kim handed him a glass of whiskey as a nightcap and dropped down beside him with her own glass.

"Probably not. It's probably not the best idea tonight."

"Are you upset?"

"No."

"You know this is not about not wanting to be with you."

He rolled the glass between his palms, watching the smooth liquid skim around the sides. "I know. I just need time to digest it. I'm not sure I really understand why we need to do this. Actually, it's more that I am trying to understand why you feel you need to do this. I guess I am just collateral damage."

"You know, as well as I do that the sex is great. Better than great but what if that just papers over the cracks? We broke up for a reason." Kim held up her hands when she could see that Adam was about to protest. "Stupid as they were and let's not rehash that nightmare. Now I really want to put that aside and focus on every other part of what being in a relationship is about."

"Having sex is a part of being in a relationship."

"I know it is. Don't you want to know that that's not all we have?"

"Of course I do, but I already know that. Why do you think I agreed to it?"

"I hope you agreed because you think it will be good for us."

He dropped his head back against the back of the couch and exhaled slowly. "Kim, if it is what you need to do then that's what we will do." He rolled his head to the side to look at her. "Will I enjoy it? No. Will it be hard? Yes. Am I going to swing from the rafters with joy? Absolutely not. Am I going to respect you and your decision? Yes."

Kim rested her forehead on his. "Thank you." She moved to kiss him and he welcomed it for just a minute before gently pushing her away.

"Ah, not right now Kim. I'm still coming to terms with my sudden enforced celibacy." His smile was a little painful and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Being close to her right now was not helping but he sensed how much she needed to do this for herself. If it was what she needed to do then he would support her. No matter what had happened and all the drama they had gone through to get to this point, which was a sharp left turn he had to admit, he always wanted to do what was best for her.

He stepped back when she started seeing Roman, as much as it hurt him because if she was happy that's all he wanted. He desperately wanted her to be happy with him but at that point in time she wasn't. It had killed him but it was always Kim that mattered the most.

"What's an extra two months?"

"It's much easier to be a monk when you don't have anyone to share a bed with but when you have this incredibly beautiful and hot woman in your life it's a little harder."

"Imagine how good it's going to be."

"Stop talking please." He begged.

Kim sat back and bit her bottom lip. "Sorry Adam. Look if this is too hard for you I get it. I'm sorry that I am making you do something you don't want to do and if you don't want to hang around I understand. Perhaps you just want to come back in two months time and knock on my door."

"Kim, please stop talking." He groaned. "Don't you get it yet? Don't you get that I would do anything for you? I've tried to get over you, I've tried living without you and I can't. I want you. It's not an option. You need to do this, for yourself because you need to be ready and you need time to get over what you went through. If that's what you need to be with me completely then I'll do it."

"I don't deserve you."

"Probably not." He shrugged and took the last mouthful of his whiskey. "But you're stuck with me anyway."

Atwater slapped him on the back when he slid into the seat beside him at Molly's. "So date night last night. How'd it go?" he winked. "Although spare me the gory details."

Adam rolled his eyes and downed his shot.

"What did you fuck up now?"

"Nothing. I didn't fuck anything up. We are fine. Dinner was great." He forced out between clenched teeth. Still after everything that he had done over the past few months to prove otherwise nobody seemed to think he was capable of not being a complete dick.

Atwater laughed. "Sounds like it."

"Well I suddenly find my self in some kind of weird celibacy challenge."

"A what?"

"Celibacy…. You know the act of not having sexual relations. Funnily I've been celibate for months because I couldn't move on and now I have her back she suddenly decides, thanks to her counsellor that she needs to not have sex for three months. I've talked her down to two."

"Wow." The look on Atwater's face may have been similar to his the previous night, although he seemed to find it slightly more amusing than Ruzek was.

He grabbed the shot that Atwater just ordered and slammed it down. "Yep. Fucking awesome."

"Why'd you agree to that?"

"Because I love her man."

Atwater shook his head and laughed. "You have balls of steel man."

"Yep and that's exactly what they feel like. Not sure it's a good thing though." A painful smile played at Ruzek's lips. "Don't tell Burgess I told you, she'll be pissed at me. Although that might make things easier."

"How the hell are you going to do it?" Atwater was enjoying this a little too much.

"I like a challenge." He shrugged with a wry smile. "And lots of cold showers." He paused and took another mouthful of beer. "..and alcohol. I am going to need a lot of booze. Let's just hope Chicago goes fucking nuts for the next two months and we don't have time to scratch ourselves. And man am I gonna be ripped." He flexed his arm to make his point.

"Gotta hand it to you brother, I hope that I love a woman as much as you love yours one day." Atwater tipped his glass at Ruzek.