AN: A glimpse into Merlin's darker potential.
A considerable amount of sexual tension.
(warning for some violence, blood, and death)
Working for the newly crowned prince had its perks, I could admit. The money I sent back to my mother in Ealdor was proving to be enough to buy her food and pay back some of her debt. I had decided that after the long days and early mornings of working for Arthur, I deserved a treat. So, while Arthur was meeting with his father, I headed to town with Arthur's shopping list and a mission to find something for myself.
Arthur's list was simple "Soap, belt buckle, bread from that one cart with the honey" so I finished it first. I sampled some of the sweet bread he requested before I purchased it out of Arthur's money. It was still warm and sweet and I smiled as I finished my piece and browsed the merchant stands. I considered a nice soap from the stand where I found Arthur's preferred scent. Maybe something with lavender? I continued to roam and until I came across the fabric merchant who had offered me a job before I became Arthur's servant. "Good morning, Mary," I smiled at her.
"Oh, good morning, Merlin," she replied, but sounded as though it was anything but good.
"What's the matter?" I asked and approached the stand closer.
"Someone stole our profits from our home last night," Mary explained while she continued to roll and fold fabrics in an organizational pattern I didn't understand.
"What?! Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that!" I exclaimed, my heart breaking for the woman. She and her husband worked hard for their profession. There was never a time that there wasn't dye on their skin and cuts on their fingers.
"It's no big thing. It wasn't much," Mary said dismissively. But I knew that it while it may have not been a large sum, but to them it was a lot.
"That doesn't matter, it shouldn't have happened! I'll tell Arthur and he will do something about it," I promised.
Mary blushed and put down her work. "No, don't bother the prince with our little troubles. He has much more important business to attend to."
"Did you say you were burgled?" A servant nearby asked.
"Yes, from our home last night," Mary replied.
"My employer, Lord Houser, was also burgled. Though he is a noble and their silver dining ware was stolen. I have heard of a few other cases, as well," the man said.
"Nobles and common folk alike? That's got to be a first," Mary almost laughed.
"I will definitely make sure Arthur is made aware of this," I said determinedly. Something strange was going on, and he had to know about this.
"Well then, for you my dear, fabric is discounted!" Mary said kindly and dug around before emerging with a deep ruby red fabric. "A servant of the royal house should be wearing the royal colors!"
"It's wonderful!" I exclaimed happily. I had found my treat at last!
"Ask that lovely Gwen, the blacksmith's daughter, to sew you a dress. She's quite the talent!" Mary offered.
"I will, thank you Mary," I replied and paid for the fabric. It was nothing rich or anything a noble would wear, but the fabric was beautiful and dyed like nothing I had ever worn before.
I still had time so I found Gwen at her home. The Lady Morgana was away visiting family, so Gwen was free of duties that morning. She agreed to create a dress from the fabric I had just purchased, and I was to pay for the work and pick it up when she finished it. We chatted while she took my measurements and sketched out a dress for me. The neckline she had drawn was much lower than I was used to, but she insisted that it would not impede on my work and that it would look acceptable. I reluctantly agreed, mostly because she was fast becoming a great friend and that meant I had to trust her judgement.
It was nearing lunch when we both left her home to go and serve our employers. I was content and smiling as I gathered Arthur's lunch to bring up to him. Sunlight slanted through the windows in Arthur's chambers and a small fire crackled in the fireplace. Arthur was standing, leaning against his bedpost, reading something from a long roll of parchment. I set the tray down on the table and went to tend to the fire.
"Your lunch, sire," I said and worked on the fire.
"Thank you," he mumbled, still reading while he sat at the table.
I considered Arthur's preoccupation with what he was reading before I informed him of the burglaries. He finally finished reading when he was halfway through his lunch and I was gathering up his clothes to be washed. He groaned and set the parchment down.
"Everything alright?" I asked as I put his dirty clothes into a woven basket.
"What? Oh, yeah, everything is fine. I have to approve of this doctrine now that I'm officially crowned prince. It's so much reading," he replied with a sigh.
"Well, I have something that could distract you," I suggested. The doctrine could wait, the people of Camelot were growing suspicious of their friends and neighbors.
Arthur turned hard in his seat to face me, the chair scraping sharply on the stone floor. He swallowed his mouthful of food in one go. "What?" he gasped, shocked.
I paused, why did he react like tha- …oh. He thought I meant I was the distraction. A blush rose to my cheeks and neck. I could have died right then and it would have been perfectly acceptable. My mouth went dry and my voice came out as a strange croak. "I was in the town and Mary, the fabric merchant, told me that she and her husband had been burgled of their profits last night."
"Oh," Arthur seemed to relax. "They need to take proper care of their profits, then."
"Sure, but then a servant of Lord Houser told us that his employers had been burgled of their silver dinner ware," I said and concentrated on the blood leaving my face. "He said he knew of other cases as well."
Arthur looked thoughtful. "Nobles and commoners? That is strange. I'll look into it."
"Thank you, sire," I said, grateful to leave his chambers after the embarrassing exchange.
Two days later, the knights and Arthur were to patrol areas of the upper and lower towns where the continuing burglaries had occurred with most frequency. The people of Camelot were growing increasingly suspicious of their neighbors, especially those who had not been effected by the burglaries. Fights were breaking out on the streets of the lower town as people struggled to make ends meet.
I was to go with them that night to keep the knights with water and berries to stay awake. It was late into the night, well after midnight and closer to the servants' bell. I yawned as Arthur and I entered Lord Houser's home. He had allowed us to use it as base while the knights patrolled as it was centrally located within the affected area. Arthur mirrored my yawn and sat at the servants' table in the kitchen. They had had no luck in patrolling for people out of their homes. I sighed, knowing that meant we would be back at it again the next night.
"What a disappointment," Arthur said what I was thinking and removed his armor on his own. I hummed in agreement and began to clean up the left over berries and bread.
He idly watched me work, his chin on his hand at the table, his eyes blinking closed. He was wearing his tunic and trousers, his armor on the table next to him. We were sleepy silent for probably a half an hour before there was noise outside the kitchen.
"We've already been down that way," a man's voice said. His accent was not of Albion, I recognized immediately.
I spun to look wide-eyed at Arthur. He was alert and slowly standing. I pressed a finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet. He looked pointedly at me to say that he was not an idiot.
"The Lord is staying at the inn this evening, he's not at home. I saw him there," another man's voice said.
"Wasn't this the home with the silver?" a third man's voice asked, closer now. I edged away from the window.
Arthur extinguished the flame of a small, dim candle on the table by licking his thumb and index finger tip and squeezing the candle wick. There was less smoke that way. It was dark now, only a thin stream of moonlight through the open window meagerly lit the room.
"It was, and it's empty," a fourth man said in a sing-song voice.
Fear rose in my chest as I realized that we were outnumbered. If they were armed it would be me and Arthur against at least four men. I wouldn't be able to help unless I used magic. Arthur knew the odds as well. He was the only armed one of us and he wasn't wearing his armor.
"The knights just went down that road to the left, so we should be clear for at least a quarter of an hour," a fifth voice commented, closer to the door now. Or was it the first man again?
In a blink, Arthur was at my side, grabbing my hand a pulling me towards a door on the far end of the kitchen. He opened it quickly and quietly and pushed me in. I shuffled my feet, realizing it was a broom closet, not wanting to knock into anything. Arthur followed me in, closing the door just as the kitchen door opened. Multiple sets of footsteps entered the house, quiet and measured, they knew what they were doing. Drawers and cupboards opened and footsteps walked past the broom closet.
I was standing in the broom closet with my left side closest to the door. The broom closet was not a large space and a broom handle was jammed painfully into the center of my spine and Arthur was pressed against my front, facing me. I tried to shift to relieve my spine of the broom handle but Arthur placed a hand on my side, stilling me. Light from a candle from the bandits passed by the broom closet, briefly spilling through a gap in the wood. Arthur was looking down at me and I was suddenly aware of our position. It was entirely improper.
My heart was pounding in my chest and there didn't seem to be enough air in the broom closet. I was beginning to panic, there was no way out of this without using magic. Arthur must have heard or felt my panic because he leaned down, his mouth next to my ear.
"Calm down, Merlin, Leon is due back here any minute and we will capture these bandits," Arthur barely whispered. His breath hot against my neck. I involuntarily shivered. Perfect, because every movement I made Arthur felt because of our closeness.
This was wildly inappropriate. We were pressed together tight enough that I could feel every breath he took and hear when he swallowed and when the fabric of his tunic rustled when he moved his hand from my side to check for his sword and put his hand back on my waist. We were so close I could probably feel his- yes, I could. Right there against my hipbone. And my breasts were pushed into his ribcage. Oh, god, I would never be able to look at him in the eye again.
I took a long, steadying breath and concentrated on my surroundings. I could smell his soap and sweat, the straw of the broom, and the wood of the door. I could hear the footsteps of the bandits, their hushed speaking, and their rummaging. I could feel the broom against my back, Arthur's berry scented breath on my cheek, and my dress tangled around my legs. My left foot was also beginning to tingle so I shifted my weight. That was a huge mistake. It caused my hips to jut against his with more pressure than before. The bulge in his trousers now directly on the most sensitive part of my body. I froze in fear, embarrassment, and regret. Arthur let out a strained breath.
"S-sorry! I'm so sorry!" a whisper spilled from my lips just as the front door of the house opened.
"On me!" Sir Leon's voice rang out, directing the other knights.
Arthur burst out of the broom closet pulling his sword from his belt. Sir Leon's eyes flashed to me still in the closet as he fought the closest bandit.
I felt chilled in the pre-dawn air now that Arthur's body heat was gone. I was yanked from the closet by a bandit who raised a dagger to strike me. I instinctively used magic to make the dagger fly from his hand and stick in the wooden ceiling. I had no weapon to fight back physically and the man still had a hold on my arm. I stomped on his foot and smacked and punched at him. He said something menacing to me but I didn't process his words before he struck me down.
Rage filled my body and magic snapped at my palms and against the wooden floor, charring it beneath me. I rose to my feet, feeling a thin trickle of blood falling from a cut on my cheekbone from where the bandit hit me. He would regret this. I summoned the dagger from the ceiling and into my hand, approaching the bandit whose eyes widened in realization. He saw me use magic. This had to end. I had to release some of this rage, so I let out a scream like battle cry and lunged at the bandit, slicing into his chest. He tried to fight back as he fell backwards from my force, a fist meeting my face again, this time at my jaw. His head snapped at the stone counter top and he slumped to the ground. I kneeled over him and stabbed him once more in the chest. Blood sputtered out of his mouth and I jumped back in realization of what happened- what I had done. The fighting around me was winding down and I heard the clanking of the knight's armor. I collapsed in a heap next to the fallen bandit with dry, painful sobs wracking at my body. I had never felt that kind of rage before. My magic had never taken over my body like that. What had happened to me!? I had taken someone's life, something I had never thought would happen in my entire life. My chest felt like it was ripping open and spilling my deep black regret all over the floor.
It was silent around me except for the labored breathing of the knights. Shame filled me and tears began to fall from my eyes and mixed with the blood from the cut on my face.
"Did you-?" Arthur asked the men around him.
A few replied with quiet negative statements and some must have shaken their heads. Arthur was asking if any of them had killed the bandit in front of me. Gentle hands pulled me into a sitting position, with my back against the counter. My hands covered my face and I cried choking sobs.
"Merlin," Arthur said in a quiet voice, kneeling in front of me. He pulled my hands from my face to see the cut on my cheek and the bruise blooming on my jaw. He tilted my head up and looked at the cut. "He did this to you?"
I nodded.
"And you overpowered him?" Arthur asked as if he didn't believe me.
I nodded again.
"Remind me not to piss you off," he said, humor in his voice. A few knights chucked behind him. The humor didn't reach me.
I looked over at the bandit's body. Blood had pooled around him on the floor and his eyes were open. I fought a dry gag.
"I'll go get Gaius," Sir Leon said before leaving.
"Leave us," Arthur directed the rest of the knights.
Their armor slid and clanked as they left, the door shutting softly behind them. I chanced a look at Arthur. He had to be mad at me. I wasn't a knight and I took a life. I murdered someone.
Arthur was looking at me like he wasn't sure what to do. "Merlin, he was attacking you. You had no choice."
"I murdered him," my whisper came out dry and scratching. I clutched at the fabric of my dress at my thighs, balling it in my hands.
"He struck a woman. He bloody well deserved what he got," Arthur said confidently. "I know you don't think of me as the most chivalrous knight, but that is something I do not tolerate."
"You're going to arrest me," I said, looking away. I could see the tops of a few knights' heads outside the window as sunlight began to peak over the city. The servants bell tolled in the lower town.
"For what? Being brave?" Arthur scoffed. "Merlin, look at me. You are not being arrested. I am… proud of you."
His words still didn't reach me. I shook my head.
Arthur stood up and opened and closed a few cupboards. "Aha, I knew that old lush had something in here," he said and handed me a bottle of something dark. "Drink up, you'll feel better."
I took a long swig of the liquid and swallowed eagerly. Wine. "Good girl," Arthur said, his voice a bit deeper than usual, with a chuckle and watched me drink. He sat in a kitchen chair, facing me, his elbows on his knee and his hands clasped between his legs.
Something about the way he said that brought my mind back to our time in the broom closet. "Sorry about the closet," I said meekly, my voice coming back after the liquid wet my throat.
He let out a laughing breath and shook his head. "You know what, Merlin? We don't have to talk about that… ever again." The smile was still on his mouth.
"Yes, sire," I said and drank more.
Gaius burst through the door, concerned eyes searching for me. Arthur stood up and spoke to Gaius in a hushed tone, his hand on the physician's arm. I drank deeply.
"Well I see the knights have medicated you," Gaius said, approaching me.
I snorted in a laugh. "Works well."
"Alright, Merlin, let's get you home," Gaius said and Arthur helped me stand. "I'll clean that cut for you."
"See you after noon, Merlin," Arthur said. "I'll need my armor cleaned." The last part was said less as a command than usual, but more as a promise and an offer. A promise to not reject me, and an offer for my life to go back to normal.