AN: I'm uploading two chapters today!

The second one, chapter 9, is shorter but... you'll see!

xoxo

Chapter 8

The servants bell clanged in the distance and the first peek of sunlight was shining through the trees surrounding the city. I awoke with a sigh. I didn't get enough sleep and my body was letting me know through the aches and pains in my bones. I felt as old as Gaius. I stood up from my bed and stretched my arms over my head. I looked over at my clothes and saw my simple cotton dress with tears and stains of mud and grass.

I gasped. "I'm alive!"

I bounded down the stairs to the main room of the chambers to see Gaius. "Gaius, I'm alive!"

But he was crouching over someone who was collapsed on the floor by the door. Someone must have come in this morning feeling ill. I took a step closer, that cloak looked familiar….

"What is it? What happened?" I questioned, sensing something was wrong.

"Merlin, stay there!" Gaius demanded.

I didn't listen and pushed to see who was on the floor. I almost shrieked at the sight. It was Mother, covered in boils and sores and struggling to breath. "Mother!" I shouted.

"Merlin," she tried to croak out and touched my arm.

"What's happened to her?" I asked Gaius, panic consuming me.

"She's gravely ill," he said trying to hide his grief.

"Do something!" I demanded of him.

"If only I could," Gaius said quietly, ignoring my tone.

"Please, Gaius," I begged with tears in my eyes now.

"Merlin, this is no ordinary illness," he tried to explain to me.

"This cannot happen," I stressed to him as tears flowed now.

"Who did you meet at the Isle of the Blessed?" He asked me, looking curious and angry at the same time.

"Nimueh," I said and everything made sense. I was alive and my mother was dying. She had taken Mother's life rather than mine. "It was as you said. She demanded a price, but I bargained my life- not my mothers."

"Merlin. I wish there was something I could do," Gaius said quietly.

I Mother's hand. "I will make you better. I will," I promised her.

Gaius and I got Mother into my bed and he was helping her drink water when I quickly dressed and left. Someone was going to answer for this. I rushed to see the dragon in the dungeons. I whipped into the dragon's dungeon with an angry force.

"You knew this would happen! You had me trade my mother's life for Arthur's!" I shouted at the waiting dragon.

"You said you would do anything," he said coyly.

"Did you know my mother would die?" I spat.

"I knew the price would be a heavy one," the dragon explained.

"But you sent me anyway," I said, feeling mislead.

"We need Arthur to live," he insisted. "Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown, and when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free."

"Oh, so that's all you cared about?" I asked, venom in my voice.

"I am more than than, Merlin. I am your kin," he said as if this all had a larger purpose.

"No! The only family I have is my mother, and you had me murder her," I said, my voice shaking.

"Her life has not been taken in vain. We will achieve great things together, you and I," the dragon tried to convince me.

"You will never be released for what you've done! I'll make sure you never see the light!" I screamed at the dragon. My stomach burned with anger and my hands crackled with magic.

"Merlin!" the dragon roared as I turn and ran to go back to my mother. He breathed fire at me and I was able to turn and block it before it burned me.

"You wont see me again," I said coldly before leaving as quickly as I could.

I returned to Gaius' chambers to see my mother again. I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to go see Nimueh again.

Gaius was sitting alone by the fire in the darkened room. He looked sadder than I've ever seen him. "Where is she?" I asked hesitantly.

Gaius took too long to reply. "She's sleeping," he said and I knew that she was alive.

"I have to save her," I said desperately.

"You cannot," Gaius insisted.

"If the balance of the world needs a live, then Nimueh must take mine," I said and began to pack a bag again.

"No, Merlin," Gaius scolded.

"Yes, I will return to the island," I said with finality as I put a dagger into the bag.

"You are young. Your gifts, your destiny are far too precious to sacrifice," Gaius tried to reason with me.

"My destiny? This is my mother. My powers mean nothing if I cannot save her. You have taught me so much. Taught me who I am. Taught me the purpose for my skills. Taught me that magic should only be used for great deeds. But most of all, you have always taught me to do what is right," I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Merlin," Gaius said with a tone that said he was giving up the argument to me.

"I need to say goodbye to Arthur," I said with a sniffle. I owed him that much.

Gaius nodded and I went to speak to Arthur again. He was sitting up and pouring himself a drink. One arm was in a sling and he wore a loose red shirt, undone at the neckline.

"Ah, Merlin," he said pleasantly when I entered.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Good," Arthur said studying me. He knew something was wrong, I could tell by the way he was looking at me.

"I'm pleased," I said and looked away, busying myself with straightening up.

"Yes, I owe it all to Gaius," he said, still looking at me through narrowed eyes.

"I need to talk to you," I said in a rush and turned to face him.

"You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk," Arthur said and rolled his eyes.

"Not today," I replied with urgency.

"I sometimes wonder if you know who I am," Arthur said quizzically.

"Oh, I know who you are," I said with a scoff.

"Good," Arthur said with finality.

"You're a prat. And a royal one," I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

Arthur looked up at me angrily until he saw the laughter in my eyes. He chuckled. "Are you ever going to change, Merlin?"

"No, you'd get bored. But promise me this, if you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker," I said and walked around to stand in front of where he was sitting at the table.

"If this is you trying to leave your job…" Arthur said in what sounded like a threatening tone.

"No, I'm happy to be your servant. Until the day I die," I said and my voice was strangled for the last part.

He set down his goblet and looked at me strangely. "Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. And other times…" he shook his head.

"Well, I know you. And you're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king," I said, tears welling in my eyes again.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" Arthur asked and moved to stand up but put too much strain on his back and he gave a little gasp of pain before remaining seated. "What's got you so worked up?"

I was overwhelmed with emotion at the look of care in his eyes. I went down to my knees in front of his chair and broke out in a sob. He almost died because of me, and now he's better. And I was so deeply grateful for his good health. But now my mother was dying because of the choice I made. And in order to right that, I had to die for her. There was no way out of this without loss. I couldn't win this.

"Merlin," Arthur said with shock and worry heavy in his voice. He reached over with his good hand and pulled me towards him. I covered my face with my hands and cried into his legs. He stroked my tangled, braided hair despite its dirtiness. "What happened?" he questioned again after a few moments, gently pulling my tear soaked face up so he could see it.

"I-" I started and realized there was no way to explain this without getting myself killed or thrown into the dungeon before I could save my mother. "I made a choice and it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. And now I have to fix it."

"Is it Gaius? Is it Gwen?" he listed. His face went dark. "Is it Lancelot? Did he do something dishonorable?"

"No, no," I shook my head. "It's… complicated. I can't explain. But please, Arthur, please remember the things you've learned in the time I've known you. Remember to be kind and just. And to listen, as well."

"Any other pointers?" he asked, still looking concerned.

"Just… don't be a prat," I said with a light smile.

"I'll try. Merlin, if there's someway I can help you, tell me," he offered with a look of worry.

I shook my head and wiped my tears.

"Come and see me as soon as you're back," he said as I went to the door.

I paused, but didn't look back, before I opened the door. I couldn't bear to see his face, so open and full of concern, before I left.

Back at Gaius' chambers, I visited with mother. Gaius had gone to get supplies and left Gwen to sit with her. Gwen hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek before leaving to finish her duties in the castle. I promised Mother I would make her well again and held her hand before going to bed. I needed to be rested for the journey ahead.

The next morning, I awoke early before the sunrise to get a start on my journey. I looked around for Gaius but he wasn't there. That was strange, he always woke with the servants' bell which was a few hours away. I looked around to see if he'd left a note and saw a folded piece of parchment with my name on it. I grabbed it quickly and read it as fast as I could.

Dear Merlin,

My life is already near to its end. There has, for the most part, been very little purpose to it, very little that will be remembered. In contrast, Merlin, your life is destined for greatness. Live by the tenets I have taught you, and I believe you will, in time, become the greatest witch ever. To have known you has been my greatest pleasure, and to sacrifice myself for you is but an honor. You are and always will be the daughter I never had.

"No!" I shouted and grabbed my bag of supplies and took off running to the stables. The horse I would ride was saddled already, as I had paid a stable boy to do it, so it took no time for me to be out of the gates.

I raced to the Isle of the Blessed, possibly faster than I had when I was rescuing Arthur. I felt sick with exhaustion and the horse was sweating and foaming at the mouth when I stopped her by the lake. Again, the horse I rode must have understood the importance of our mission, because she didn't even slow as we raced. She nodded at me as I summoned the boat to the shore. Gaius must have already been there.

I got to the center of the Isle where I met Nimueh last time, to see Gaius on the ground and Nimueh standing over him. "Stop!" I shouted.

Nimueh looked almost startled. "Back so soon, witch?"

"What have you done?" I wailed as I kneeled next to the fallen Gaius.

"Your mother is safe. Isn't that what you wanted?" Nimueh asked.

"Have you killed him?" I asked, still kneeling next to and looking at Gaius.

"It was his wish," she explained.

"I bid my life for Arthur's! Not my mothers! Not Gaius'!" I shouted at her, my voice trembling.

"The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies! Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken. Gaius knew this," she defended herself.

"It is not the Old Religion that has done this. It was you!"

"Come now. We are too valuable to each other to be enemies," she said coyly.

"No! I share nothing with you!" I spat.

"With my help, Arthur will become King," she tried to bribe me.

"I will make Arthur King. But you will never see that day!" I shouted as I stood up. I sent a spell towards her from my palms. The release of magic felt amazing and I wasn't sure what spell I sent towards her, but I hoped it hit its mark. But she absorbed it in her own magic.

She laughed. "Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin. I am a priestess of the Old Religion. You, too, are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me." We fought with spells going back and forth and colliding in between us.

"You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never!" I said and pushed back against the magic she sent my way.

"Pity. Together we could have ruled the world," she said and sent a spell towards me much faster and more forceful than her previous ones. It knocked me back off my feet and made the ground around me shake.

She walked away from me, assuming me unconscious. I waited a few moments and caught my breath. Even though it felt like I had been trampled by a horse, I stood up. I gathered my magic and let it take over my body. It felt like mulled wine warming my body. It felt powerful and almost sensual. It was almost like it was a separate person within me saying "It's okay, I've got this one." I wasn't sure if I liked it, but there was no turning back now.

"You should not have killed my friend," my voice came out deep, powerful, and echoing.

Nimueh spun around, surprise on her face. I reached out and pulled power from the sky, creating a lighting and thunder storm right above Nimueh. The lighting came down and struck Nimueh, killing her.

When I was sure she was dead I ran to Gaius. "Gaius! Gaius!" I called his name and shook him. But he didn't respond. "No!" I screamed up at the sky from which I had drawn that power. It didn't work. Nimueh's life didn't spare Gaius'.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked quietly as he woke up.

"You're alive!" I exclaimed, my sad tears turning to happy.

"What did you do?" he asked me, suspiciously.

"Nimueh's dead. The balance of the world is restored," I explained to him.

"You amaze me. You've mastered the power of life and death itself. We'll make a great sorceress of you yet," he said with great pride for me.

"So, you believe in me now?" I challenged him lightly.

"Well I would if… if you could stop this blasted rain!" he joked.

And I did just that before helping Gaius to the horse. I used magic to heal the horse's exhaustion and she nudged me in thanks. The horse Gaius had ridden here needed to be summoned but arrived soon after. Gaius and I rode back to Camelot, quickly but not at the speed we had arrived with.

When I knew that Mother was well and Gaius was settled, I went to see Arthur. It had been a day and a half since I cried into this lap and alluded to my own death. So, I was a little embarrassed to go to him now. On the walk up to his chamber I almost wished that I had indeed died on that quest to avoid this embarrassment. Or at least been injured or something. In a moment of desperation, I used magic to rip my dress skirt some. But it ripped further up the side than I had intended. Ever since defeating Nimueh, my magic had been a little more powerful than before. I had to learn to adjust to this heightened magic. Now I had a rip up the side of my dress skirts that showed some significant leg. I couldn't go in to see Arthur like this! It was improper! I was just about to turn to leave to go change when the door opened. Arthur was at the table, not looking at the door. And nobody else came out. It must have been my magic that opened the door. Yeah, I really needed to get a handle on this new magic. Arthur looked up to see who opened his door without knocking or even announcing themselves. He looked irritated until his eyes met mine.

"Merlin!" he exclaimed with what sounded and looked like relief.

I smiled sheepishly and walked into the chambers in a way as not to draw attention to my ripped dress. "Hello," I said shyly.

"You're alright! I mean, you're here!" he said coming towards me. Then he caught himself and tried again. "I mean, you've not been tending to your duties for days. Look at the state of my chambers!"

I looked around at the mess he called his chambers. This man could not function without me, I swore it. I laughed. "I'll get started at first light tomorrow. I need to tend to my own first."

"Well, that's not what I pay you for," he said with jest.

"You'll just have to deal with it, I suppose. I could arrange for another servant…"

"No, I could wait. I've been waiting for at least four days, I guess I can wait another," he said disdainfully, but his eyes sparkled with humor.

"Thank you," I smiled and turned to leave.

"Merlin!" he exclaimed. "What were you out doing? Your dress is severely torn and it's filthy."

"My mother was ill, and I had to… go and find the cure. It was a difficult journey," I said and tried to smooth down my dress.

"Merlin, I would have sent knights to go with you. Are you injured?" He looked me over.

I shook my head.

"Why didn't you tell me? You were so upset before you left," he said and studied my face.

"I didn't want to bother you so soon after your own illness," I lied.

"It wouldn't have been a bother," he said quietly. He snapped out of it. "Good servants are hard to come by."

"I thought I was rubbish," I countered.

"Oh, you are. But training a new one is so time consuming," he countered. "And besides, it takes a lot of work to get a servant to show that much leg."

I let out a shocked laugh. "Sire!" I gathered my skirts together at the rip.

"I'm only joking," he said and shook his head. "But in all seriousness, are you able to fix that dress? Or do you need funds to buy another?"

"I-I- was going to ask Gwen to help me mend it," I stuttered out my plan. It was certainly not usual for someone to buy their servant a new dress.

"Nonsense. When you go into the merchant's town next, use my gold to buy a dress," he said and turned to the table again.

"Thank you, sire," I said breathlessly.

"I'll see you at first light tomorrow, Merlin," he said as I left.

I walked back to Gaius' chambers with my heart pounding and my stomach fluttering. My magic swirled slow and sensuous in my body. I wasn't sure if the exhaustion was catching up to me, but it didn't feel right. I needed to get some rest.