AN: Thanks for the ideas CollectivePonds and mrskhenderson10 (on Ao3)! I had a few ideas, but I LOVED yours! Hope you've stuck around to read this!
Sorry for the delay, as usual. Husband's are high maintenance creatures. XD
Let's piss off Prince Prat, shall we?
xoxo
After a fortnight, Arthur did return to Camelot. Rumors preceded him, though. Rumors that he had been romantic with Bayard's middle daughter, and that they were set to be wed, and that she was with child. I didn't know what was true but I didn't want to find out, either. Arthur had been successful with his proposal to trade wool for grain, and came back to a celebration. The king had ordered a feast in celebration of Arthur's successful return for the day he got back.
So, I was busy preparing and didn't have to go see Arthur. Morgana was also preparing. She had come up with the idea to make Arthur jealous and realize his true feelings for me. I had laughed when she said "true feelings" because if he did have romantic feelings towards me then why did I clean out his chamber pot every morning? But Morgana had insisted that if knights and noblemen were flirting with me then Arthur would finally see my value. Other than the whole chamber pot business, of course.
Which is how I found myself being gifted flowers, fabric, and kisses on the hand by almost every young nobleman and knight I came across. It was a wonderful day, if I were to be honest. Everywhere I went in the castle, there was a man winking at me or wanting to have a chat. A blush was permanently on my cheeks and my face hurt from smiling. I felt guilty for enjoying it so much, knowing that it was fake and Morgana had likely paid each of them.
Arthur definitely noticed this odd treatment. A nobleman, I hadn't caught his name, was kissing my hand in the hall just outside Arthur's chambers. The doors burst open and Arthur strode out only to stop in his tracks when he saw us. I looked over to see his eyes narrowed.
"Sir Phillips, is there something you require of my servant?" Arthur asked, a hint of a demanding anger in his tone.
"Oh, only a moment to gaze at her pretty visage," Sir Phillips said with a wink to me.
I ducked my head and blushed.
"Hm, the amount of time it would take to find a redeemable trait in this waif of a servant would force us all into retirement. If you don't mind, Merlin needs to get to work on cleaning my chambers," Arthur said with forced boredom.
Sir Phillips made a polite escape while I was stuck standing in front of Arthur for the first time in a few weeks. I crossed my arms and glared at him. "You didn't have to be so mean," I snapped at him.
Arthur looked apologetic for a second before he recovered. "He was being improper and I'm sure I've just saved you from a boring lifetime of talk of shipyards and trading."
"I don't care. You were rude. I'm not cleaning your chambers," I said and stomped away from him. "Oh, and welcome back Prince Prat!" I called over my shoulder.
I was asked to dance seven times at Arthur's welcome back feast. And I never cleaned his chambers.
Some type of word had traveled fast and I grew increasingly worried about what Morgana had been telling the knights about me. Now men I was sure Morgana had not paid were approaching me in the corridors. When I asked Morgana about it, she only laughed and said it was whatever the men needed to hear. I wasn't soothed by this answer. In fact, I was angered and I stomped about the castle until dinner. It was my turn to serve the royal family and I wasn't looking forward to seeing any of them.
I carried in the venison platter and served the king. Normally the king never acknowledged me as I worked, but today he was watching me carefully. I wondered if maybe I'd gotten a stain on my dress or my hair was a mess.
"Merlin," Uther said as I served Arthur some venison.
"Y- yes, your highness?" I stuttered.
"You should wear your hair down more often," he said in a kind tone.
His eyes looked a mixture of kind and predatory and it was a foreign expression to me. I didn't understand it.
Arthur kicked at me. "Th- thank you, s-sire," I said and bowed.
Morgana was stifling a laugh behind her napkin. This was funny to her. This weird rumor circuit that was going around and around about me was amusing to her. I felt betrayed and mislead. A friend wouldn't do this.
I finished serving the dinner in stony silence. Arthur left in an angry rush as soon as they stood from the table. I was sure that he was just as confused and angry as I was. I didn't clean his chambers.
After I cleared the table, Sir Leon found me in the kitchens. "Hey, Merlin, some of us are going down to the inn to have a few drinks. Would you like to join?" he asked genuinely. I sighed, about to say no. But the way he asked was so casual and friendly that I knew he didn't have an ulterior motive.
"Absolutely," I said and left with him.
Leon talked amicably with me as we walked to the inn. Golden light shone through the windows and I was able to see a packed table of rowdy knights. "Can Gwen join us?" I asked as we passed her house just before the inn.
"Sure," Leon shrugged.
Gwen had just gotten in from seeing Morgana to bed and was just about to turn in herself. She agreed to go with me to the inn, mostly to make sure I behaved myself. And we entered the brightly lit and loud inn arm in arm next to Leon.
We had a few mugs of mulled mead and we were feeling warm despite the cool chill outside the building. Sir Leon asked me to dance as a band struck up a tune and another knight asked Gwen. When I spun around to the music, I noticed Arthur in the front near the door like he'd just arrived. Leon and the other knights called out greetings and Arthur smirked at their attention. But his eyes never left me dancing with Leon. Then another knight came up and asked to dance. I danced with three knights before Arthur got up and left, the door slamming shut behind him.
I felt bad for making him so angry. I didn't know what I had expected from this act to get him jealous. I wasn't sure if I knew what jealousy looked like when I agreed to the plan. Gwen saw me looking at the door Arthur just left.
"So Morgana got the details on Bayard's daughter… they're false! Well, mostly. Arthur told his father that Bayard offered one of his daughters as part of the trade instead of grain. Arthur, of course, didn't agree. And the rest are just false rumors," Gwen whispered to me.
A strange sense of relief flooded over me, but was immediately taken over by more guilt. I sighed and smiled at Gwen to thank her for the information.
"Merlin, tonight at midnight is the Druid Samhain celebration," Leon said quietly. I had almost forgotten about the holiday as Uther didn't order a feast for it this year. "A couple of the knights are going tonight, are you interested in joining us?"
I considered it for a moment, and looked to Gwen who was hiding a yawn behind her hand. "Yes, but not Gwen."
Leon smiled. "We'll leave soon."
Later that night, Leon pulled me along through the woods, surrounded by knights and darkness, and the sound of excited whispers and crickets. I was full of anxious excitement at the thought of seeing the Druids again. It had been months since the fires of Beltane and their strange rituals. I wondered what they had in store for Samhain. When we reached the blazing bonfire in the clearing by the lake, everything felt darker and more dangerous. A chill went down my spine and I clutched Leon's hand tighter. I was suddenly glad I hadn't brought Gwen; she would be talking sense into me for us to leave.
Everyone that was there already was wearing dark cloaks and paint on their faces, some even wore masks. Their faces were indistinguishable and their heads hidden under cloaks. Someone came up to me and Leon and handed us cloaks as another person came and painted our faces with paint that smelled like earth and berries. Their faces were smiling and welcoming under the paint.
More and more Druids sat down with their drums as the drum circle began. A few of the knights joined in with borrowed drums. I remembered the way Arthur and I had danced at Beltane. At least this time there wasn't going to be a fertility dance. Gaius had told me that Samhain was a holiday marking the day the dead could walk the earth with the living and that the Druids disguised themselves to protect themselves from the dead, and used fires to ward off unwelcome spirits. It was a time of prophecy and fortune telling.
Leon and I split up soon after we donned our cloaks and face paint. I wandered alone through the people around the fire. My magic was alive and thrumming in my veins, almost audible in my ears despite the drumming Druids. Many of the Druids felt me approach and turned and bowed to me as I walked by. A Druid woman took me by the hand and brought me to where the food and drinks were. "Emrys, we were wondering if you'd come tonight," she said. She handed me a goblet. "This is apple wine from apples harvested on the day of last year's Samhain."
"Thank you," I said and took a sip of the wine.
"I want you to know that we, the Druids, are not upset by what happened at the Isle of the Blessed. Nimueh was challenging your destiny- you did what you had to do," the woman said.
"And what, exactly, is my destiny?" I asked. Perhaps the Druids could give me more answers than the dragon.
She smiled kindly. "That is not my place to say, your highness. Perhaps you should visit our Seers tonight. As Samhain is the night of prophecy!"
She gave me an apple tart from the table and I walked and ate. I couldn't tell knight from Druid as I walked through the people. But my magic was pulling me towards the drum circle. Some people were dancing in the free movements I admired at Beltane. Their breaths coming out in puffs as the cool autumn night settled in. One person came up to me and invited me to dance, it was Leon, I recognized him when he was close enough to hear his voice. He twirled me around in a dance mixing the choreographed moves from court with the free Druid dance movements. It was fun and we laughed and laughed as we made up our own dance. Apple wine was still heavy on my tongue when Leon picked me up and spun about, our painted noses almost touching. My hands were on his shoulders as he spun and I looked up at the spinning starry sky. When he put me down he was laughing and he gave a little bow and kissed my hand. He stepped away from me and I went back for more apple wine and another tart.
Magic tugged at me and I looked in the direction it wanted me to go. It was my magic, I recognized it, but it felt a little different. It was leading me to the candlelit path to an apple tree. I gulped down the rest of my wine and followed my magic. A young girl, undisguised and beautiful, was sitting next to the tree with a little dagger.
"Welcome, Emrys. This is our oldest apple tree, it has lasted many storms and generations. It is believed that it's fruit has magical properties. If you'd like, I could read your fortune," she offered in a voice like clear water.
"Um, sure," I said. Why not?
"Choose an apple from the tree. The one that calls for you," she directed.
I circled the tree and found one that seemed to glow. It was low enough that I only had to jump to reach it. It practically vibrated in my hands. I handed it to the girl and sat in front of her.
She smiled and considered me for a moment. I pulled down my hood so she could see my painted face. She looked over my shoulder at someone who had approached. I looked back to see another hooded and painted person. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure he was male.
The girl considered the man and then me again. She looked calmed by his presence so I figured he was a friend of hers. The man stood behind me and seemed to watch the girl.
"Now that you've chosen an apple from the ancient tree, I will peel it and tell you of your future," she said. She used her dagger to start at the top and peel the apple in one slow slide. "It seems as though a romance is what troubles you most. It is so sad, Merlin, I feel as though I want to cry for you now," she said her voice choking up. "Oh but Merlin, he feels so sad, too. There is likely to be anger if your feelings are made known and secrets are said. The right decision for now has been made, Merlin, and that's why it's so sad. There is much passion between you and this man. So much passion. Oh- you've already kissed! Do not fret, my dear Merlin," she said, not even looking at the apple that she was peeling. She looked in my direction, but through me. "Do not fret for he is the sun and you are the moon and neither can exist without the other and together you create a harmony between worlds. Stay strong, Merlin, for your husband's name will begin with-" she stopped speaking and threw the finished apple peel over her shoulder.
I stood and looked at the peel. I gasped.
No.
There had to be-
No.
But yes. So, so much yes. I trembled with conflicted emotions.
"A!" the Seer girl said.
I turned and ran, feeling suddenly like I needed to be at home and away from here. There were footsteps behind me but somehow I knew the person following me meant no harm. I looked to the hooded figures by the drum circle and tried to find Leon. I pulled down my hood and hoped he would recognize me. My magic reached out for him desperately.
"Merlin! Over here!" the knight's voice said.
I ran to him; tears I didn't realize I had cried on my face. He lowered his hood when he saw my distress. A few of the other knights circled around me and pulled down their hoods, as well.
"What happened? Are you alright?" Leon asked, running his hands down my arms as if to assess for injury.
I nodded, not sure what to say.
"Did someone hurt you?" Leon asked, looking around at the people behind the knights.
"N-no, I just saw a Seer and she gave me a fortune and- and-" I tried to explain some of what happened.
"Merlin, I know magic is scary having lived in Camelot. But I'm sure the Seer didn't mean to scare you," Leon soothed in a calm voice.
"I know, I just need to go home," I said and wiped tears and paint from my cheeks.
"I'll take her home," a familiar voice said from outside the small circle of knights.
My magic immediately reached out and grabbed hold of him like coming home after a long day. I turned around quickly and the knights parted to let a hooded man in. He pulled down the hood and it was Arthur.
"Sire, I didn't know you were interested in coming tonight," Leon was saying in a happy tone but I barely heard it over the sound of my rushing magic and stomach churning anxiety when I realized what Arthur was holding. A peeled apple.
"I came to Beltane, why not Samhain?" Arthur asked light heartedly, even though he was staring intensely at me, his expression unreadable.
"Right, well thank you for coming, Merlin. It was wonderful dancing with you," Leon said and kissed my hand again.
"Thanks, Leon," I croaked out, not looking at him.
Arthur swiftly grabbed my hand and pulled me from the circle of confused knights and practically ran with me out of the clearing and into the woods. My hand was gripped in his with a strong hold and I was being pulled along as Arthur rushed through the woods back to the castle. One of us had sweaty palms but it didn't lessen the grip he had on me. Arthur was skilled at navigating himself through the woods and was able to jump over logs and not trip over branches before I even realized something was in front of me. I stumbled along behind him, tripping, and ripping my dress and legs on thorny branches. The darkness was more dizzying than Leon spinning me around while we danced. I had to concentrate at not falling and getting my arm ripped out of its socket by Arthur.
He led me to a river not far out of Camelot, the one that fed our wells, and finally let go of my hand. Moonlight was able to reach us now since the trees opened up for the river. He didn't look at me, he only tore off his dark cloak and kneeled hard at the edge of the water and scrubbed the paint from his face. The peeled apple, turning brown, was dropped at the waters edge. It reflected light and looked like a little moon falling from his hands and rolling along the shore.
I pulled off the cloak with shaking hands and practically fell at the shore of the river, my hands slapping against the wet stones. I scooped up some water and splashed my face. The water was cold and made me gasp with shock. The paint ran into my eyes, making them feel gritty. I scooped up more cold water and scrubbed and realized that I had begun sobbing into my hands. There was a turmoil of emotions in me- embarrassment at my behavior in front of the knights, shame that Arthur saw me with the Seer, confusion at the Seer's words, anger at myself for being so affected, and fear for what was going to come next.
"Merlin, what the hell is going on?" Arthur demanded, finally speaking. He was still kneeling in the cold water, his palms in the mud.
I shook my head, my throat too thick with tears to speak.
"I come back after a fortnight away and… and… you're being courted by half of Camelot. Including a few of my knights. Not to mention- ugh- not to mention my father! And then I follow you to a midnight Druid celebration where you are accompanied by men and cloaked and masked sorcerers! Merlin, I don't know what's gotten into you or what is happening in Camelot right now," Arthur ranted and then caught sight of the peeled apple. He picked it up. "And what was with that girl? That Seer? Saying that you've already kissed your future husband, who's name starts with 'A'? Does she mean me? And what of combining worlds? Merlin, do you know what she means?"
His voice was frantic and I felt even worse for making him feel like this. While some of it was intended, trying to get him to feel jealous, I had never intended to screw it up any further and hurt him in the process. I was still kneeling in the mud on the shore, my shaking hands on river rocks, still sobbing.
"Merlin?" Arthur shouted when I didn't answer. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him this angry at me. His eyes blazing and nostrils flared with loud, controlled breathing.
I looked up at him. He had fire in his eyes and a whole lot of fear.
"I DON'T KNOW!" I screamed back at him. It was part guttural yell with shrill girlish scream mixed in. My sobs were now audible to him as I let them go.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" he yelled at me, moving towards me, his hands covered in river clay and mud.
I took a moment to collect myself before shouting back. "I meant that I was trying to make you jealous but it went too far!"
"Define 'too far!'" Arthur said, panic in his voice.
"There were too many of them- and then there was your father!" I explained poorly, wiping my hair from my face but just smearing mud from my hand over my forehead.
"You need to be more specific, Merlin. Did anyone touch you? Did my fath-" Fear and panic was so evident in his voice that I felt even worse, which I didn't know I could feel.
"NO! No! Nobody touched me. But I thought it would just be a few of them and then Morgana talked more into flirting with me and I didn't know it would be this big," I explained harshly, now sitting on the edge of the water. My dress was now soaked and covered in mud, my legs still bleeding from the run through the woods.
"Morgana did this?! Did she get my father to approach you?!" Arthur spat, disgusted. He ran a hand through his hair, unintentionally making it stick up in every direction with mud.
I shook my head. "She didn't get the king to do anything. I don't know how that happened."
"There were probably rumors about you being good to noblemen!" he shouted again.
"I don't care about rumors, Arthur! All I care about is how people I love think of me! Not strangers!" I shouted back as I pulled a thorn from my shin. I hissed as blood trickled down my leg.
"I do care about rumors about you!" Arthur continued to shout.
"Maybe that's our problem! You care too much about what others think! Maybe if you cared less about that we wouldn't be in this situation!" I yelled at him, anger and magic bubbling in my chest.
"Oh! So this is all my fault?!" Arthur let out a barking, humorless laugh.
"Yes! No! Ugh, Arthur! I really don't know!" I yelled and pulled my dress skirts up to my knees, looking for more thorns. Propriety be damned at this point.
Arthur stood up and paced the stream, his muddy hands on his hips, staining his white tunic. We were quiet for some time. The only sounds were the rustling of the trees, the course of the river, the crunch and grind of rocks under Arthur's boots as he paced, and my occasional swearing as I tried to treat my scrapes on my legs.
"The Seer," Arthur said suddenly, making me jump. Not at his volume, but at the suddenness of his voice.
"What about her?" I asked, dread filling me.
"Did she mean- we would be married?!" he asked me. A quiet desperation in his voice, with a childlike innocence. My heart dropped into my stomach.
I shrugged. "Maybe."
"How can you shrug this off, Merlin?" He asked incredulously.
"I need time to think about this," I explained.
"Well, think now because we aren't going back to the castle until we're sorted," Arthur said with finality.
It had to be close to five in the morning at this point and Arthur wanted to stay here. I gave a big yawn. What was I going to tell him? How was I going to explain this? I mulled over my options for what felt like hours. Arthur looked at me, covered in mud. He stood up and offered me a hand. I stood up with his help and he led me to the river. He toed off his boots and I followed suit. The water was cold on my toes as we walked into the water. He looked back at me with a slight smirk as we waded deeper into the river, the cold water swirling around us. He gripped my hand as we slipped and tentatively walked into the river until my breasts were mostly submerged. At this point the current was strong enough to push me into Arthur, who had enough balance and weight to keep him upright and still. My jaw chattered from the cold, but I suspected anxiety fueled the shaking as well.
I looked up at his face as my body was pressed against his from the current. His face was covered in mud and the paint from the Druids still. But his eyes were searching and open to me, his teeth also chattering. I took a deep breath. "I've heard it before."
He closed his eyes and turned his face down but didn't say anything.
"I didn't know it was meant to be marriage though," I sighed, knowing he had no idea what I was saying. "I was told that my destiny was with you to… create a new Camelot together. And I thought it simply meant helping you write treaties and proposals like I've been doing. Helping you create a Camelot better than the one you inherit. But… the Seer at the apple tree, she said marriage and that scared me so much, Arthur."
I had given him enough of the truth to ease my guilt and explain a little to him.
Arthur opened his eyes and considered me. I wiped mud and paint from his face as he watched me. When his face was clean I looked down and saw that my tattered and torn light blue dress was surrounding him. I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks when I noticed that my breasts were clearly defined and visible through my wet dress. The cold water making my nipples hard against the thin material. I wished for the dark Druid cloak. I looked to his chest and saw that his white tunic was wet and almost entirely transparent. I could see the hard muscle of his chest beneath. I looked up to his face to see him clearly staring at my breasts. His eyes were hooded and dilated. My blush grew deeper.
"It scared me too," Arthur said finally, looking up and making eye contact with me. He sighed. "But it also relieved me. I can hardly explain it, Merlin. I just know that I don't want you to be banished or imprisoned or worse because of our relationship. And I know that would happen, it's the law. But I also know that whenever I see you I want to kiss you. Every morning when you come in I want to pull you into my bed but I know that I can't."
I didn't know what to do but I laughed at the image. Joy swirled around me with my magic after hearing his words.
"What's so funny?" he asked, chuckling.
"I want that, too!" I said through my laughter.
Behind me the sun was rising. We had been out all night. The thought of Gaius looking for me and Uther looking for Arthur made me laugh harder. We had spent the night in the forest arguing. And now we would return to the castle, well after sunrise, dirty and disheveled and together. To think Arthur was worried about rumors before….
Arthur rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. My laughter died down to a smile. "I feel so selfish," he sighed, his arms encircling me.
"Apparently it's our destiny, though. Unless, I should be looking for an Alexander or an Adam. Oh, maybe Lancelot's first name is actually Ancelot and we've all misheard him and he was too polite to corr-"
Arthur's lips were on mine, scorching hot compared to the cold water surrounding us. He kissed like he was showing me just who the hell "A" was, once and for all. I didn't feel the cold of the water anymore, my magic sparked into action and wove through us tightening and tightening until I thought I'd burst. I went up on my toes to kiss him better and the current swept me off my feet, my legs going on either side of his waist. He gripped me tight, his arms wrapped around my back.
When he pulled away his lips were blue and he was shivering. I realized I was also freezing and was tempted to use magic to warm us up to keep kissing him. But instead I squealed and laughed "It's so cold!" through a chattering jaw. I waded as fast as I could through the water to the dark cloaks on the shore. I wrapped one around me as Arthur did the same beside me.
"I want to light a fire to warm up, but we've got to get back," Arthur said as the servants' bells rang in the distance. "I've got to train the knights in an hour."
"Yeah, and I saw your room earlier. You've left it a mess," I said with a sigh.
"It was to get you to stick around longer," he said with a sly grin.
"And you've succeeded, it's going to take me ages," I laughed as we began a quick paced walk back to Camelot.
It didn't take us long to get to the castle, but it took some time to sneak around unseen. I went back to Gaius' and Arthur went to his chambers, planting a quick kiss on my cheek before leaving. I was still bright red with a blush when I opened the door to Gaius' chambers.
Gaius was inside, making breakfast. He paused a moment when I walked in, taking in the dark cloak I had not owned before last night, the redness of my cheeks, and the wet hair around my shoulders. "Don't tell me because I do not wish to know," he said and continued making his breakfast. He looked outside and then back at me. "You should hurry; Arthur will be wanting his breakfast."
"You're probably right, Gaius," I said with a secret grin as I rushed up to my room to get changed.