Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 6! Just so you all know, my move is later today, and it might take me a few days to adjust to being in a different place. I hope you all have been well. Here's Chapter 6: Tracking Down.
Disclaimer: The Secret Saturdays belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.
Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned. May be graphic for some. Reader discretion is advised.
My eyes meet the eyes of the man in front of me. Most would be intimidated by him, but not I. Standing slightly behind the man, is a teenager about my age. Under normal circumstances, I would be ready to take these two down after everything they've done to my families, but I don't have time for that. They are some of the only people who can find Doyle. I'll save my butt kicking for a later day.
"Miss Saturday, how wonderful it is to see you again. My heavens you resemble your mother more each day."
"If we weren't doing business, I'd kill you for saying that, Agent Epsilon," I spit. I am so not in the mood for Agent Epsilon's games right now. I barely got any sleep last night, and I ended up crying myself straight into another nightmare. Let's not forget that my hormones are also crazy right now, since I am a girl after all; we girls do have to deal with a little monthly hinderance called a period. Funny, I always imagined my mom would be around for my first period. Instead, I have to deal with this alone since I'm the only human female in the house.
Agent Epsilon, I swear, rolls his eyes behind his glasses. I clench my jaw. Honest to stars, if we weren't doing business, I would kill him here and now.
My gaze extends past Agent Epsilon, to his "son" Francis. He seems different now, more reserved, quieter, as if he is skating on thin ice with Agent Epsilon. Part of me wants to acknowledge Francis, but I can only imagine the kind of trouble that would get him in with his people. Francis meets my gaze before looking away coldly. I wonder what happened to him after I escaped their people. Did they brainwash him, or did they just severely punish him? I'll probably never know, but I feel better knowing they did not kill him. Or did they kill Francis and replace him with another clone for Epsilon? Not that it matters or anything. Right now, in this moment, I need to focus on getting my mission across to Agent Epsilon without killing him first. Stars, I hate him. He's so aggravating.
"Miss Saturday, would you mind -" Agent Epsilon doesn't finish his sentence. The doors to the conference room on the airship bang open. It's Zak and the others. They see Agent Epsilon and Francis, and they prepare to strike. The air is pregnant with tension; clearly neither side wants to make the first move. The Saturdays turn to me. As calmly as I can, I explain the situation to them. Doc seems mad with me for turning to the "capricious side," as he calls it, for help, but he hides it.
"My, Dr. Saturday, you never were very good with negotiations. You always thought with your fist first. Much unlike your deceased wife, the late Dr. Drew Saturday. She was a diplomat."
"Don't you ever speak about my wife again, Epsilon!" Doc yells. Part of me wants to shoot him a glare, but I know that will only make the situation worse. Stepping in, I revert the conversation back to why I brought Agent Epsilon here. The two clones listen to my request, but neither seems to show any interest in it.
"Unfortunately, Miss Saturday, our people do not track down people for simple family reunions." They turn to leave. I clench my fist, and the snow outside falls harder. The snow buries Agent Epsilon's ship enough to make leaving impossible. I unclench my fist as they turn back around to face us. "It looks like we are here for a while." Doc nods as if to say that they are indeed stuck here. Then Doc tells the others and me to go dig Agent Epsilon's ship out of the snow. We go, leaving the two adults and Francis behind. I wish I could stay, but I know that Epsilon would be wary of my presence. I just hope Doc convinces Agent Epsilon to have his people track down Doyle.
Zak and Fisk man the actual shoveling work; I wanted to help them, but insisted on doing it themselves. Instead, Komodo and I supervise while Zon blows some on the snow away with her wings. Every so often I go to use my powers to move the snow aside, but each time, Komodo stops me and reminds me that Agent Epsilon's people don't need to know about my elemental powers if they don't already know about them. Stars, I hate having powers. They just complicate everything, and I can never use them when I want to. Yes, they are rather useful at times, but I would personally prefer to not have them. Maybe that's how Zak feels about his Kur powers. Granted he is the reincarnation of Kur.
Or is he? Argost did steal Kur from Zak, but I had powers that I gave to Zak. I'm not sure if Zak even is the reincarnation of Kur anymore. After all, the Nagas did call Zak "Kur" when we went to their nest. I don't know. I honestly don't know. The whole concept of Zak being Kur reincarnated but I just having powers is mind boggling. Besides, how are my powers even supposed to keep Kur in check? None of this makes any sense. Stars, why couldn't we have just been a normal family?
Lost in my thoughts, I don't hear Zak shout that he and Fisk have finished digging Agent Epsilon's ship out of the snow. Zak's shouts catch me off guard, and I end of jumping and falling backwards into the snow behind me. It's much colder than I expected and combined with the shock of Zak shouting, I feel myself turning bright red with embarrassment. Zak laughs as he pulls me to my feet. When he turns around, I scoop up a snowball and throw it at him. It hits him square on the neck. Zak turns back around to face me, and our snowball fight begins. I laugh and smile the entire time; I am finally, after months of feeling numbness beginning to feel more alive, more human again. It feels amazing, and the glee resonates within my body. I swear to stars that I am beaming with joy.
At one point in the fight, after Zak begins to realize that Zon and Komodo are on my team, he uses his Kur powers to control my allies and has them bombard me with snowballs.
"Hey! That's not fair! If you get to use your powers, then I get to use mine!" I shout. Zak's head pops up over the miniature fort he made.
"But you can't because Epsilon and Francis are still here." Zak's words stun me. Curse my powers. In that moment, Zak throws several snowballs at me, and most of them hit my face. I prepare to counter the attack when the two clones step out of the airship.
"My, if the children aren't playing a little game, Father," Francis sneers. "Aren't you so glad that I am past the age of such folly?"
"Indeed, son, indeed." Then the two board their ship and leave. Furious at Francis's remark, I start to make it snow harder, but Zak stops me and tells me that if I make them crash that he will personally strangle me, for they will be stuck with us. I back down and head inside the house to go blow off some steam in the gym.
As I punch the punching bag repeatedly, I realize something. I have felt emotions more deeply these past few days than I have in the past few months. By no means is my self-diagnosed depression gone, but it no longer feels as heavy as it did before. Maybe I am starting to get better. Or maybe I am just experiencing a brief moment of ease before it consumes me again. Either way, I'm determined to make it last. Being somewhat free from the weight and the numbness of my depression has been a wonderful feeling; I had almost forgotten what it feels like to not be depressed. I wonder if once it's finally gone, I will be happy again. Or will remnants linger in my mind, to forever remind me that it is a disease that never seems to go away completely? I can't be sure; I don't think anyone can be sure with depression.
I strike the punching bag with all my might, and it tilts backwards before resetting itself in its normal position. I feel better now, but stars, I could kill those two. I wish the whole organization would just collapse. Ugh. Why do they have to be so rude?
"LILY!" Zak yells, with his hands cupped to my ear.
"WHAT?" I yell back as I swat his hands away. Zak explains that Doc has something to tell us. I peel off the boxing gloves and throw them on the ground as I run out the door; I'll pick them up later.
In the kitchen, Doc has everyone's attention. He has an envelope in one hand and is using the other hand to lean against the counter. He makes eye contact with each of us. The anxiety in the air is palpable. Stars, I wish he would hurry up and tell us. Then Doc takes a deep inhale and exhales slowly, forming an "o" shape with his mouth. He looks down at the ground before looking up at the ceiling, as if he is uncertain of what to say. Then he looks back at us.
He got a new job. Yes, Doc Saturday got a new job. He explains that ever since the Secret Scientists turned on them a year ago, he and Drew had been looking for new jobs. Unfortunately, they had not been able to find any in cryptozoology, so they had branch out. Doc recently heard back from a privately funded organization of computer scientists, and he got the job. He starts this coming January. That, however, means that Zak and I will no longer be homeschooled, for no one will home to teach us. I feel the tears form in my eyes, but I blink them back. I excuse myself quickly and run to my room.
I throw open my closet and drawers and start pulling out all the shorts and short sleeved shirts. No, this can't be happening. I can't go to public school. I'm still behind, and if anyone finds out about me or Zak, it'll be a disaster. No, no. This isn't happening. It's not real. The urges to cut washes over me. No, no, no. I can't. No, this isn't fair. No, stars darn it, no. I will not succumb to my urges. I am stronger than they are. The fiery tears burn my face and I curl into a ball and rock. The urges grow and grow. They consume me, so I curl in tighter to protect myself from them. They still grow. Finally, in desperation, I turn on the shower to scorching hot. I jump in and let the water burn me. As it burns me, I weep. This isn't fair. I'm thirteen, almost fourteen, years old. I'm not supposed to be struggling with self harm urges. I sink down to the shower floor and continue to let the water burn me. Eventually, the tears stop, and the water turns cold. I cut the water off, step out, and dry off. Then I put my clothes back on and return to the kitchen. Only Doc is still in the kitchen.
"Lily, are you alright?" he asks.
"What did Agent Epsilon say?" I ask, avoiding Doc's question. Doc shakes his head.
"We're on our own, and we only have a day left."
So that's the end of Chapter 6! I hope it wasn't too graphic for some. But I do want to stress that what Lily experiences is real and that some people do actually struggle the way she does. Thank you all so much reading. I love you all so much. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. I'll post Chapter 7 as soon as I can.