A/N: So a midweek update to make up for that awful cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter.
Hopefully this one will provide you with the daily recommended intake of Vauseman feel sor at least make you feel all warm inside.
Have at it guys...
Chapter #17…
"Piper?"
Alex killed the engine on her bike, stilling it in the entrance to the parking area of her building. She kicked the stand roughly, slowly swinging her leg over the seat so as to not startle or scare the blonde away.
Had Alex not appeared there and then, the blonde would have not approached Alex's building, that she was sure of.
But there she was, stood in front of Piper, black hair quickly getting wet as the rain poured down her face, running smoothly onto the leather jacket and pants she was wearing beneath.
Her green eyes held an unspoken steely determination as they took in the sight before her.
Piper just stood, mouth a gasp, unmoving. Alex mirrored the blonde's stance.
Both stood, in a trance like state, staring at one another, unsure of what to say or what the other would say, just eyes, fixed, blue against green.
Alex couldn't believe the blonde was before her now. She had no speech or heartfelt apology prepared and suddenly felt tongue tied with the blonde standing in front of her.
"Can I talk to you?"
It was Alex who finally broke the silence, aware the two would continue their staring competition if she didn't speak first.
The blonde stared, silent for what seemed like forever to Alex as the rain continued to pour around them, it was poetic really, under any other circumstances. The two star crossed lovers, doomed to be together finally revealing their true feelings to one another in the rain.
The blonde could hear the blood rushing past her ears so loudly she almost missed Alex's quiet question. The taller woman looked so timid and vulnerable there was no way Piper had even considered saying no.
She nodded, eyes still mesmerised by the green ones before her.
Alex was unsure how to proceed, she wanted to invite the blonde in but didn't want to risk her running out while she had to put her bike away.
She was already soaked through and knew Piper must be too as she was wearing less clothes than the older woman.
Alex chewed her lip. A new and unwelcome feeling of uncertainty causing her nerves to put her entire body on edge. Alex had never felt anything like it but was slowly learning to embrace the frightening constriction of her chest that threatened to swallow her whole.
She looked over to the blonde once more noticing her shivering and teeth chattering.
"Do you want to come in, maybe?"
Alex could hear the uncertainty and nervousness in her own voice so was sure the younger woman had caught onto it too.
Piper nodded once again surprised by the fear and lack of confidence the brunette was displaying opening up her vulnerability to the blonde. For Piper, whilst she preferred the confident, dominant Alex Vause, being given an insight into this side was welcomed and she knew she was being privy to something most people would never know about let alone witness first hand.
It made her heart swell to know she was trusted by Alex in order to see this and she was more than grateful the brunette chose to wear her heart on her sleeve tonight.
Alex pulled her bike to one side, clearing the driveway for other cars to enter and exit the garage. There was no way she was risking leaving the blonde to put her bike away, some things were just more important she reasoned.
The pair walked, Piper slightly behind, as she followed Alex to the front of the building. They remained silent as they entered the lift, Alex finally allowing herself a sideways glance at the blonde. She really felt as if she was dreaming. Having just returned from visiting Diane for the weekend, there was Piper right outside her building at the very time she arrived. It was more than fate.
Alex took in the blonde's face, committing it to memory should she never see her again. She was beautiful. Strands of loose wet hair hung limply over her face framing those perfect blue eyes. The bruising and swelling on her face had completely dissipated, her plump pink lips formed into a hard line as she looked down at the floor.
They could both feel the energy in the lift and both had missed the surging heat that came with it in one an other's presence.
As the elevator pinged to signal that the penthouse had been reached, Alex released a breath she didn't know she had been holding before guiding the blonde to her front door.
Piper followed the brunette in, suddenly aware of how cold she actually was. Alex turned to see the blonde clutching her arms, still shivering softly as she stood silently in the hallway of the apartment.
"Do you want a towel, or some sweats, or a shower, or…?"
Alex had never been unsure of herself yet now she didn't know what to do to appease the blonde. Everything sounded too formal and dominant, or like she didn't care at all. Alex never struggled with vocabulary yet currently she was failing to string a sentence together.
Realisation began to dawn on Piper as to what was happening. She was happy she had somehow made her way to Alex's and the brunette had happened to be before her but then the practicalities began to force their way into her mind.
How stupid of her to have gone out in her shorts and vest in the rain and now to be stuck at Alex's. She shook her head unsure of why she wasn't answering the smoulderingly gorgeous brunette in front of her, yet chastising herself for her choice of outfit.
"A towel would be great, thanks." She spoke so softly yet quickly in response to the older woman's question Piper didn't even recognise her own voice.
Alex disappeared into her bathroom returning with two towels. She placed them both carefully on the edge of the sofa.
"I'm just going to change out of my wet clothes."
Piper watched as Alex backed away slowly, eyes never leaving each other's and highlighting the fear the both had. Alex was concerned that the blonde would leave at any given minute whilst Piper feared the truth behind what Alex would say tonight. Maybe it was better to never know than to face the honesty of the brunette.
The blonde made her way to the sofa, perching on the edge as she dried her exposed skin on the towel. She released her hair from her bobble shaking it out of the style before towelling it also.
Alex returned, relief flooding her face at the sight of the blonde sat on the sofa before her. She was once again floored by the natural beauty of the younger woman with her tousled hair and face free of make up, Alex couldn't help the small smile escaping onto her lips.
However the moment passed all too soon as she regained her composure and realisation of the situation that had brought them to this moment in time. She tried to prolong the moment just a little longer.
"Would you like a drink? I have water, or, something hot if you're cold, you don't want to catch hypothermia."
Alex tried to joke but inevitably she had some explaining to do.
"No thank you Alex."
It sounded so good to hear Piper say her name, in any tone or context.
Piper looked up expectantly at the taller woman, waiting for her to talk. Alex moved slowly and cautiously around the blonde to take the seat at the furthest side of the sofa, her hands in her lap and eyes on the ground as she prepared herself.
Taking a final deep breath Alex dived headlong into her speech.
"Piper, I really am sorry for the way things played out with Sylvie."
Alex looked up for the first time, meeting the full attention of two shining blue eyes. Piper visibly winced as Alex spoke Sylvie's name, her hand instinctively grazing over her cheek.
"I need you to know though, these past few weeks, not been able to see you or speak to you, it's been unbearable Piper. I don't know what happened but from that first day I saw you I liked you and now it's more than that…"
Piper watched on allowing Alex all the time she needed to say what she had to say, listening intently to each and every word. The rasp of her voice, the way her lips moved to form each sentence and her green eyes, so deep and vulnerable yet harnessing a new desire and determination she hadn't seen before. She mapped the face before her, scared, terrified that she may never be this close to it again.
"I'm not a shady person Piper, I did what I did to protect myself, it's who I am, my defence mechanism, my need for protection because if my shitty life has taught me anything up until now, it's that if you let people in, you give them the power to not only hurt you, but to destroy you."
A single tear rolled down Alex's cheek as she took a deep breath.
"Growing up, my mom worked three jobs at shitty diners and bars just to earn enough money to put food on the table and a roof over my head. My dad, some rockstar my mom fell in love with continued on his band's 'sellout' tour when he heard my mom was pregnant, didn't want to even hear about me. There he was living it up, a different girl in each city he played in, no regard for my mom or his daughter. And the worst part is, my mom truly loved him Pipes and he still left."
The tears continued to race down Alex's cheeks as Piper listened on quietly. She edged closer to the brunette, her heart breaking for the young Alex and her mom.
"I was bullied in school quite badly, my dad never showed for sports day or parent teacher conferences, I never had the cool clothes or the newest stuff. But my mom, she still worked her ass off to make sure I never dropped my grades or didn't hand a piece of homework in. Then he died when I was 11. An overdose of a cocktail of drugs, he was found with the garbage out the back of his hotel."
Alex's tears stopped, her voice growing stronger as she realised she still had the blonde's attention.
"He had amassed a fortune Pipes, hundreds of thousands of dollars. My mom helped me put myself forward as his next of kin following a police report into his death and unclaimed estate. I had a DNA test and the next day I walked out of the police station richer than my wildest dreams. I bought a home for me and my mom from a lump sum I was allowed for living on and the rest was put into a trust fund I could access when I turned 18. That's how I afforded this place and to put myself through college. My mom never had to work another day serving selfish, ungrateful bastards again, so I guess my dad got his comeuppance and my mom got what was rightly hers, what she deserved."
Piper, now seated right next to Alex, squeezed the older woman's knee in response to her sharing her story.
"I've never been more grateful for that money and the options it had afforded me, a college education and a future in a job that I will love. Smith noticed I'd been doing really well in my classes so they asked me to tutor some students who needed a little extra help. That's how I met Sylvie, I don't tutor her anymore, just Tricia, the blonde with the cornrows and neck tattoo, and Doggett."
Piper nodded at the memory of the blonde girl with the neck tattoos who interrupted one of their early study sessions.
"So that's me, all cards on the table for you Pipes."
Piper suddenly found her voice after feeling that she was silent for ages, processing and digesting the information Alex was offering up.
"Thank you for being so honest with me Al, it must have been rough growing up like that, I can't even begin to imagine..."
Alex nodded, cutting Piper off by taking the younger woman's hand and intertwining their fingers. She was still choked by the memories she had pushed deep down inside, never wanting to relive them again, thinking back to how her mom had struggled to provide her with everything when she was younger. She thought to her mother now, hooked up to her dialysis machine, so proud of her academic daughter. Then Alex remembered her mom's words about Piper, to strive for what she wanted.
Alex turned to Piper facing her on the sofa, releasing their intertwined fingers, she took both of the blonde's hands into her own, holding them gently resting in her lap. Looking deep into Piper's blue eyes, she knew it was now or never and she had never felt more sure about anything in her life.
"I know I've given you a lot to consider tonight and I appreciate you'll probably want time to think it all over, but there's just one more thing I need you to know."
For the first time in weeks, Alex let out a genuine smile looking into Piper's face right at that moment. Taking a deep breath in and out she knew she was ready to take the plunge, so to speak.
"You see, I've never met anyone quite like you Piper, you make me happy just from your smile and I have this urge to be the one to make you smile always. I'm lost when you're not around and I don't ever want to have you upset with me again."
Alex looked up to see her smile reflected in Piper's face and knew she needed to wrap up her speech before her voice betrayed her and she burst into tears once more. One lot of crying was more than enough for Alex Vause for one night.
"I heart you Piper Chapman."