Authors Note: So this one is a tad long. I see I haven't gotten hate yet, which makes for a difference from what it is on tumblr. Hope you guys enjoy it.
The rain had started not long after their lightsabers collided again. Pouring.
Not long ago Rey had decided that she did not like the rain. In the beginning, when she trained with Luke, she wondered at its calmness and the sounds of the drops in the earth, but after a while she learned it was only but a hassle. Everything was fuzzy under the coat of the rain drops. She would be wet and cold, something that, no matter what, always compromised her fighting skills and agility. It was uncomfortable. She was not used to running in the mud. She was not used to breathing the humid, runny air. The swampy dirt was slippery, and she couldn't trust her own feet to keep balance.
And right now it was pouring. grand. As Kylo stroke each time with a rock solid confidence, his stance never weakened by the muddy ground, Rey struggled to keep up with his attacks. She had not forgotten the sour feeling of a hard punch in the stomach. She would not let her guard down again. Focus Rey.
She felt the force calling to her and welcomed it with an open heart. But it was not enough. She knew how to defend herself, but her training had gone only so far. Every time she tried to attack, it seemed as if Kylo Ren had already blocked her way. As if he knew it before her.
''Listen to me'' He said, breathing in a worrisome, yet robotic voice, as he stood back and lowered his lightsaber. No! Monster. I refuse to listen to a murderer, a monster that refuses his own family.
''Listen to me!'' This time his voice was frightening. After she tried to attack him again, she felt the strong grasp of the Force in her throat. Her breath died. She tried to fight it. She tried to use the Force on him for a change, but she was no match. let me go, leave me alone.
''Cant you see? Really?! The reason you beat me that day, two years ago?'' he was crouchin, trying to reach her eyes. ''It was because you were not put in a frame, Rey! You followed yourself.'' He took a deep breath, waiting for a response from her, but when nothing came out, he continued.
''You didnt follow a protocol, a thousands year old book that dictated how each of our paths would go.'' she felt a spark, a sort of passion in his voice. His face was showing it too. But she was gagging for a small amount of air. let me go.
''The reason you almost beat me again today it was because you trusted your own feelings! Your instincts!'' His eyes were glowing in awe. His face was all lit up, and Rey could feel his...happiness? No, it wasnt just happiness, it was more of a relief. Her throat hurt. .go.
The air entered her lungs, rushing inside of her. He let her go, his hand still holding up towards her, ready , yet he was waiting for her response.
''Anger will kill you, will turn you to the dark side!'' was all she could say after her first breath. She breathed aggressively to keep herself from fading out.
''Look what it has done to you! Look what it did to Ben Solo! How could you do the things youve done? I will never condone such a path.'' Rey was angry now. why. He lowered his hand. His eyes seemed sad and innocent.
''You are angry because you also felt this, this false veil that the Jedi pretends that it protects us.'' His face was drawn to her. His eyes were hungry for something. ''You feel relieved I am saying this. I know that. I feel it too.'' He said calmly. he is so confident.
''Anger will not-'' she tried.
''Yes... Anger. You are Angry. I am angry too.'' his voice always calm, always robotic, interrupted her.
''But you also know, that Anger is what keeps us alive. It helped us evolve. It helped you charge against me. It helped you survive. Scavenger.'' He seemed more frustrated than before, his eyes not resting anywhere. ''It helped you survive in that garbage of a planet that they threw you in...''
''But It never consumed me!'' Now Rey felt the real anger. ''Ive never killed a person! Let alone my own kin, my family! The people that raised me and loved me and stayed by me!'' She started to feel herself tear up again. Longing for it, she never felt the presence of a family, yet him, he had had it all. And he tossed it away, hurting dozens in the process.
''You are selfish, arrogant, and you will never find peace if you are this self involved! You will know nothing but darkness'' she spat, her hatred radiating almost out of her body. ''A darkness that will rot you''
Yet the darkness had fallen, the soft veil of twilight was starting to grow thicker, with the forest contemplating it like a soft brush. Either of them were aware.
''I had no choice'' He murmured, but she didnt hear it. But he wasnt looking at her, or talking to her.
She charged again. ''Are we going to finish what we started?''
As he turned his lightsaber on, he marched towards her, and whilst countering her attack he heard a screech, the buzzing of both lightsabers tackling each other, to then look at Rey falling in the ground. He next saw the blood gushing from her outer left thigh. Breathing fast, she managed to stand up again. She hit him again. He now could feel her weakness, and how she compensated by attacking from her right side.
Avoiding her hits, he started walking back, creating distance between them. His eyes were not on her. He looked behind his back on both sides and then turned to Rey again. He was distracted by something. In a matter of, what seemed to be minutes, she felt it too.
''You are blinded, by those dogmas! You are not going to reach your full potential if you obey those useless orders. The force doesn't work like that! It took me so long to realize it.'' He shoved her down to the ground with his cross-guard, creating a big distance between them.
''Unless you really want to kill yourself, you better start listening to me. Let your true emotions take over. Be unpredictable.'' He lower his lightsaber and looked her attentively before taking a few more steps back, and, looking around him, went to fetch his mask and cloak.
.
.
.
Rey lingered down, her back touching the earth, for what it felt like an eternity. She tried to move. It hurt. Every single muscle and part of her body hurt and ached like never before. She had climbed mountains an never felt this sort of exhaustion.
Then she felt the sting in her thigh. She never knew the pain to be so excruciating from being touched by a lightsaber. She managed to pull her body up with her arms, only to see his silhouette disappear further between the woods. why did he leave? where is he going? is he going to attack me again from behind? where is he going? why did he leave?
Her heart was racing, and the blood from her thigh wasnt stopping. where is my lightsaber?! Panicking, she used the force to call it, and the cold, metal feeling of it, in her hand, finally gave her a sense of comfort. She needed to get up. Be aware of your surroundings. Feel the nature, feel the Force around you.
She closed her eyes. Using what she thought was her last drop of energy, she scanned the nature around her. She was in a small hill, surrounded by a small forest. It seemed to be muddy. Until it wasnt anymore.
She opened her eyes. Maybe it was some sort of a tundra. Whatever it was, it would be much better than standing helpless in the middle of the forest. Surrounded by darkness and shadows, and what sorts that they hide. The tall, strong trees, just like Kylo Ren, stood proud and dark, hiding probably evil and madness, that she did not want to deal with anymore.
At least not today.
.
.
.
The rain didnt stop. It was lighter, but annoying nonetheless. She had been walking...crawling, for a long time now, and the forest seemed to have started to shorten a bit. There were more bushes than trees, and now and then, the ground was less muddy. From time to time she could sense the sand beneath her. It was comforting. Coming to a downhill, she felt she was going down, but not seeing anything. The rain was pouring again. the lightnings scarring the sky within an interval of seconds. where am I going.
She stopped again to use the Force. Or to just rest. feel around you. Feel.
She sensed what seemed like a barren terrain, with many boulders and rough earth. Other than that, everything was fuzzy. So fuzzy. The rain blurred everything again. She hated it. i need to survive.
focus Rey.
Then she felt it.
The spark in the force. A slight shift. Kylo Ren? no. Whomever it was, Rey knew they didnt wanted to be discovered. It was trying to hide. She knew that trick well enough to feel it. She closed her eyes again to locate where it was coming from.
After opening her eyes, terror covered he face. i need to run. i need to survive.
She got up and started running, or...pushing her body downhill. She needed to run. Barely catching once slight, once deep breaths, she pushed herself to get further and further. She had no doubt her feet and legs were bleeding and scratched. Her left thigh had started to numb, still burning to her soul. She was amazed at how extremely hot and cold her body could be at the same time.
She wanted to cry.
Losing equilibrium, she almost fell downhill.. Now it was fear that took over. She needed to get away as far as possible...
Run. Run. Run. run!
But it was impossible. She stumbled on more than five to six boulders when she finally gave up and fell, rolling down, her every part scratched by the coarse terrain. Somewhere, she hit her head. She had a moment of peace, just to realize the hot tears that were rolling down her cheeks. help. Luke. ObiWan...An..the..Force...please. I need to .
It was completely dark.
Peaceful.
Quiet.
Warm.
Just like in Jak'ku. It felt blank. move. Darkness is never a bad companion when it comes to sleep. move your fingers, your toes. up. Then the cold. She shivered until the feeling crossed her whole body. She felt the wetness that had covered every inch in her body. In some parts she felt burning. She felt blood in her mouth. She felt the Force.
Opening her eyes, she realized it wasnt her own, or the surroundings. Blurry from the tears in her eyes and fuzzy, from the pouring rain she saw the approaching figures of.. what?.. five to six persons...
...covered in dark. Cloaked.
Get up. run.
She managed to fully open her eyes. Their image was becoming clearer. She got up in her knees, and gathering what was left, tried to get up and walk away, only to wobble and fall further in the dirt, scratching her knees bloodier. She noticed it was wet sand. well i will die where i was meant to. in the sand. but i will die undefeated. Wet sand was worse. She felt it sticking to her wounds and covering them dirty, as if it was infecting her with darkness.
She lifted her head up and saw all of them facing her. Tall and dark, their Force altogether was more than frightening. She felt the terror in her bones. so powerful. None of them was moving. She felt them breathing the Force. do not give up Rey.
Her first instinct was to growl at them. But nothing could reach them through that thick veil of pouring rain. The rain not only covered their silhouettes very well, but also the sounds around her. She felt nothing but the rain and how every single drop broke into the ground.
Rey. breathe in. breathe out. You are a child of the force. take your fear, and use it.
Then she saw one of them coming towards her.